chibirhm: (Thumbs up for America!)
[personal profile] chibirhm
Urgh, the first week back to real life after the holidays, why must you suck so hard and be so boring? I keep meaning to update, I do, but by time I'm finished with my to-do list for the day it's late and I'm tired and I'm like "aw, fuck it". It's been a long week of cleaning this and moving that there and calling that doctor and re-scheduling that appointment and trying to sign up for this class only to realize that's the one night I can't go so attempting to get permission to take this other class blah blah telephone calls blah blah blah. There's no way even I, the master of making ordinary shit sound fake-exciting, can make that fake-exciting.

The most exciting stuff to happen to me are the four following things:

ONE - I have been having cracktacular fandom mashup dreams. I don't remember most of them, I just remember that they were fandom-y. But the one I do remember was last night's, which started with me and JGL somewhere where he was explaining what the shit his now second-to-last tweet meant. (He wrote "THE TREE OF LIFE", allcaps included, which I spent a bunch of time puzzling over. Did he see a trailer and therefore was excited for the upcoming film? Did he get drunk on Manaschevitz and have a reunion with old Hebrew School buddies and they were drunkenly singing that horrible song that's been stuck in my head ever since? (IT IS A TREE OF LIFE TO THEM THAT HOLD FAST TO IT AND ALL OF ITS SUPPORTERS ARE [clap] HAP-PY! Sing with me, fellow Jews. I can't have gone to the only Hebrew School on the planet that inflicted that monstrosity upon their students.) Was he just drunk and putting together random words because he could? I wish I could remember my dream, because I just have so many questions, real!Joe.)

Then somehow I was in this game with BBC!John and Sherlock, and it was like an escape the room game (been playing WAY too many of those) but had the same rules as the dreams in Inception. But we couldn't kill ourselves because it would compromise the investigation. Only I kept ruining that by accident and Sherlock was mad and eventually somehow this brought John and Sherlock together enough to admit their feelings and make out a lot. Which was cute for a few seconds, but then got awkward, so I went to walk around, only to find Ryan Murphy had left me a spray-painted graffiti note saying he'd come across my writing on the internet, loved it, and wanted me to move out to LA and start writing Glee with him. And then I woke up, and Dearest by Buddy Holly was stuck in my head.

Qu'est-ce que le quoi?

There are two types of dreams, in my experience, the ones where your subconscious tells you something meaningful and the ones where it's just throwing all the leftover shit together for the day and hoping you just roll with it. This week I am clearly taking a hefty sample of column B.

TWO - So, Merlin fandom, this is coming out in March:

If I don't see every variety and pairing of Sim getting it on and Sim babies, I'm gonna be disappointed in you, is all I'm saying.

THREE - Two nights ago I stayed up until 5 AM attempting to explain American politics to [ profile] alexi_lupin and [ profile] mcgooglykins, which, as always, just boils down to me explaining the whole American dream/bootstraps phenomenon. And when I explain that, I have never met a non-American who didn't go that is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Because it is. And it sort of made me like, aw, America, why are you such a shitty country? Why do I still love you more than anything?

But then I was browsing the Best of Wikipedia archives to see if I came across anything cool, and I found the perfect example of why America is my favorite. It's because we have a Supreme Court case dedicated entirely to arguing if tomatoes legally count as a fruit or vegetable.

Is there any other country in the universe that would be that wholly ridiculous? No! (Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.) Only in America would we fight the Supreme Court for the right to declare tomatoes a vegetable because that's how they're used, and besides, it would get us out of that pesky tariff.


FOUR - for no reason I can discern, my bosses bought and sent me S2 of Merlin. Was it for my birthday? An addition to my Christmas bonus? They neither said when I asked nor left a note/return address with a name in it, which worried me because I forgot what town they live in an was like OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS THAT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, IS THIS DVD TRAPPED?!?!? Thank Jesus for reverse address check-up, or I'd have been full-on Admiral Ackbar-ing it for way, way longer. Also, thank God for the best bosses ever. Seriously, the entire disc set? AW YOU GUYS. THIS MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF SALARY.

So yeah, homes. Crazy week! Because that's how I roll.

Date: 2011-01-07 05:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I've never understood the deal with the Sims but that Medieval trailer thing made me grin like a LOON. yes, fandom, GET ON IT.

Date: 2011-01-07 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2011-01-07 05:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Does Pajamaville border the Land of Dumbface? Because Evie B says THUMP THUMP THUMP

Date: 2011-01-07 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It borders EVERY LAND IN WHICH THERE IS A PUPPY. And we all have very cordial relations and accept adorable emissaries. AT ALL TIMES.

Date: 2011-01-07 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Okay, seriously, those are awesome dreams. Why don't I have dreams that involve JGL being adorable and ridiculous and graffiti spray-painted notes. WHY?

Also, look, the classification of a tomato is a very vital thing. We have legit had loud arguments in our family over whether it's a fruit or a vegetable.

Date: 2011-01-07 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I've had a lot of dreams where JGL was my boyfriend, but I think this wins the award for the most ridiculous of them. He always seems, in these boyfriend dreams, to appear at the beginning, do something which starts a long series of cracktacular events, and then kiss me on the forehead or cheek, promise to see me later, and leave. He is my subconscious HARBINGER OF CHAOS.

OOOH, are you team fruit or team vegetable? Because the court ruling was that scientifically it was a fruit, however for tax purposes it was classified as a vegetable since that's how it was used, and even if factually it was one way, you can't tax someone based on scientific shit that makes no applicable sense in the real world.

I am still so lost on the carrot/jam purposes thing though. WTF EUROPEAN COMMON LAW?

Date: 2011-01-07 11:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am team fruit! Mostly because I am too tired to argue with my family about it anymore, but I used to be team vegetable because that's how it was used, etc.

I. the only dessert that I've ever known to be made of carrots was halwa, and that does not count as jam! So I am puzzled by the carrot/jam purposes thing as well.

Date: 2011-01-07 11:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
kajdflksdkflj if you could leave me alone with your icon, I need to do things to it.

I apologize to your brother. He's going to have to make a move before JGL does.

This (, apparently, is carrot jam.

Date: 2011-01-07 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The Sims Medieval looks awesome. I kind of decided that I won't play Sims any more, but this...I'm tempted. Though all my kingdoms would be named Camelot, of course.

Also lol at that case about tomatoes. WTF? :D If it wasn't for the fact that I have actually important cases to read for my studies, I'd read that.

Date: 2011-01-07 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I sort of want to write a fictionalized and overly-dramatic account of ~THE GREAT TOMATO CASE~. And then have it turned into a musical. It would just amuse me on a deep and fundamental level.

Date: 2011-01-07 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Kind of like Inherit the Wind, only with dancing?

Date: 2011-01-07 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
And dancing tomatoes???

Date: 2011-01-07 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes. I feel like there should be a big, show-stopping tap dance number that brings the first act to a close.

Date: 2011-01-07 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
(Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.)

I got all 'OMG there's carrot jam?!' and Googled it... and actually I think it looks quite nice. And wow - apparently there is a World Carrot Museum. Group trip?

Date: 2011-01-07 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
...The world is just such a ridiculously delightful place isn't it?

Date: 2011-01-07 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I AM JEALOUS OF YOUR PAJAMAVILLE. Sadly, I actually have had to go outside TWICE today and will have to go out twice more, once to the gym and once to a bar. D: D: IN PRACTICE THESE WILL BE POSITIVE THINGS BUT IN THEORY I AM REALLY TIRED AND JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.

Date: 2011-01-07 08:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
DEFECT TO OUR GREAT NATION! Because I'm pretty bored here right now, NGL. My jobs for today are like "do that boring e-mail you put off all week for a reason" and "distribute laundry". YAWN. Plus, we accept all puppies as citizens.

Date: 2011-01-07 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have Sims Medieval on pre-order. And may have booked a day off work to play it

Fruits/vegatables are at least vaguely sensible topics for laws - we have things like it being legal to shoot a Scotsman within York's city walls with a longbow on a Sunday. You can shoot Welshmen in Chester with a crossbow

Date: 2011-01-07 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

There are weird laws all over the place. In my hometown you're supposed recieve a hog from the mayor upon moving to the town. They have stipulations about size and everything.

Date: 2011-01-07 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So if you moved in and they gave you the hog but you then decided you didn't like it and left, would you have to give the hog back?

I've given this too much thought

Date: 2011-01-07 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am unclear on the intricacies of this law as, obviously, it has never been enforced.

Date: 2011-01-08 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We had a lawsuit about whether Jaffa Cakes are cakes or biscuits, which lead to the official definitions of cakes and biscuits being laid down by law: cakes go hard when stale, and biscuits go soft. :D

Date: 2011-01-08 12:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2011-01-08 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2011-01-08 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Date: 2011-01-08 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
... um, I don't know what those are. Rolls? I DON'T KNOW.

We have cookies too! Those are softer than biscuits and have raisins or chocolate chips or something in them.

Date: 2011-01-08 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If I am at home, I am prettymuch at least wearing pyjama pants at all times.

omg Sims Medieval. GET ON IT FANDOM. I remember [ profile] cloudlessnights used to post these awesome Harry Potter Sim adventures - I hope someone does that for Merlin!

lmao jam classification purposes. JAM IS SRS BSNS. Although ew, is there carrot jam?

Date: 2011-01-08 03:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Apparently! BEHOLD. (

Date: 2011-01-08 03:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah...doesn't look appetising to me, lol
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