chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
Sorry my presence has been so spotty lately, you guys. I've been absent a lot lately because my depression/anxiety really exploded in the last few weeks. In good news, though, I'm on new medication (today is day 4) that seems to be working really well, so, hi again! I have been reading everything you've been writing, just not up to writing a lot. (Though I have been tumbling, which is because all you really have to do is hit "reblog" and then maybe write a paragraph of text. My latest masterpiece of language there was describing my longing for a dessert as "Dickensian".)

Aaaanyway, in spite of that, several boys (and one inanimate thing) that have been making me feel fabulous, so I think we should celebrate them!

Tom Hardy: Okay, I know everyone and their mother has seen this interview, but really, does anyone object to seeing it again? I THOUGHT NOT.



Between this and the utterly magnificent Benedict Cumberbatch interview he did, I've decided Alan Carr is my new hero. Also, Tom Hardy, please report to my house, I have some cookies to feed you. (What is it about Tom Hardy that makes me get all grandmotherly and sigh things like "SUCH A NICE YOUNG MAN"?!?! IDK YOU GUYS.)

Also, re: the rising star BAFTA grudge between him/Andrew Garfield - I wasn't mad then, and I'm still not mad now. I mean, this is why I didn't vote, besides that I'm not British, because they are both stupidly adorable and there are pictures of them on the internet holding babies and they both have big puppy eyes and crinkly smiles and rescue lost kittens (in Tom's case, literal, in Andrew's case, I mean Jesse Eisenberg) and seriously, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE. I CAN'T. I'm sure Andrew Garfield and Tom Hardy will both end up with fantastic roles later in their careers, win and be nominated for squidgillions of awards, and cause us much joy in our hearts and/or pants for many years to come. HEH. COME.

Colin Morgan: There are a flobbityjillion Colin Morgan things coming out because of his new play, and I assure you I have been squealing my head off over them all. WHO ARE YOU, COLIN MORGAN, AND HOW ARE YOU A REAL BOY. Like, seriously, can his mother please teach a class on How To Raise Your Children To Be That Polite And Gracious And Darling? BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW. And oh, he's just the prettiest boy in the world. I use the word prettiest very pointedly, I don't think he's like, the hottest or sexiest or most attractive in that sort of FIRE OF MY LOINS way, but by god, he's just so beautiful. HOW IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL. Like there are no bad angles on all those new stage door shots! None! He looks so lovely in all of them! It is a supernatural power. And I may be biased because in many of them he's wearing a Boston Red Sox beanie, and the number one way for any famous person to have my undying devotion is for them to cart around Red Sox paraphernalia. (See also: why I can never hate you, Ben Affleck.)

SPEAKING OF COLIN MORGAN AND BOSTON, I think I regretfully am not going to the screening of Parked that's going to be here. I was hemming and hawing all day yesterday, and I think I would have changed my mind if Colin was going to be there for a Q & A session or something (so I could shake his hand, thank him for being brilliant, and humbly request that next he do, like, a romcom or something, damn), but the fact is, I have a literal physical reaction to seeing Colin Morgan hurt or upset.

Well, okay, I have a physical reaction to seeing anyone hurt or upset unless I feel a strong disconnection of knowing they're acting. But there are certain actors (like Colin or Bradley or, and this is the one that's the worst for me, Joe) where I get too emotionally invested in their emotional well-being. I don't know why it happens with some actors and not others (there are plenty of actors I love love love and never have this problem with, like, I've been a giant Tom Hanks fan since I was very little, but it never bothers me when I see him acting hurt, and Tom Hardy I have no issue with either and we all know my deep grandmotherly feelings on him... maybe it's something with people named Tom?), but it's BAD with Colin. I can't even get through the trailer of Parked without feeling nauseous and my chest starting to tighten. It makes my throat close up and my palms start sweating to watch the end of The Lady of the Lake episode. OF MERLIN. Even after Arthur noogies him! I just can't deal with it. And I think seeing Colin Morgan get beat up and overdose on drugs on the big screen would just... it would be bad for my emotional health. Along the lines of when I was made to watch the tapes from the original Millgram experiments in AP Psych. That was a terrible idea. i was literally almost in class and shaking and everyone was like "SO I THINK WE KNOW WHO THE STATISTICAL OUTLIER IS".

Scott Caan: alkdsjflksdjf THIS MAN IS ADORABLE. Like, the hair is still worrying to me but apparently it's his thing, so whatever. The point is that I am in love with his nose and crinkly eyes and his polka dot socks omg they are the greatest. There's also a video where he's with his girlfriend and her dog and his daddy and he's adorable, my only complaint is really that FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SCOTT, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GUM IN YOUR MOUTH? SPIT IT OUT, YOUNG MAN. JESUS.

Whichever Genius Made This: [livejournal.com profile] creativepseudo sent me a link to this NES-style game of the Great Gatsby which is THE MOST NERDY AMAZING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY UNIVERSE FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO.

Though I can't get past the level with the giant eyes, so... help?

Fuzzy Boys:

HELLO, OUR NAMES ARE CHARLIE AND GUS, AND WE ARE ADORABLE. WE HAVE BEEN MOSTLY WELL BEHAVED, EXCEPT FOR GUSGUS, WHO KEEPS CRAWLING IN THE BACK OF THE COUCH, WHICH MEANS MAMA IS NOT HAPPY AND LETTING HIM RUN, WHICH MEANS GUSGUS IS UNHAPPY, SO MAMA HAS ORDERED US A WHEELY WHEEL, WHICH WE WILL RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN ON. ALSO, CHARLIE HAS LEARNED TO JUMP OUT OF THE CAGE, BUT HE LIKES TO CRAWL UP THE WATER BOTTLES AND STAND ON THE SIDE OF THE CAGE INSTEAD OF INTO MAMA'S LAP, BECAUSE HE IS SILLY.

YESTERDAY WE WERE VERY EXCITED DURING THE OSCARS, ESPECIALLY THE PRE-SHOW. ALSO, WE SMELL LIKE COFFEE BECAUSE MAMA GAVE US A BAG THAT USED TO HOLD COFFEE GROUNDS.

IN CONCLUSION, WE WOULD LIKE CUDDLES, PLEASE. ALSO, ALL OF YOUR EGG CARTONS.

SINCERELY, YOUR FUZZY OVERLORDS
chibirhm: (Are you a fan of delicious flavor?)
Blergh. I have been feeling a little under the weather and consequently not had the best of weeks, which is why I propose we ignore than and instead focus on SIX THINGS THAT MAKE ME REALLY SUPER HAPPY:

ONE: [livejournal.com profile] puckling sent me a link to this game called Entanglement which I am ALL SORTS OF OBSESSED WITH and seriously, best timesuck ever. It took me less than 24 hours of playing to start screencapping when I did well and e-mailing her with attachments entitled HAHASUCKIT.jpg. Because I am a mature human being.

TWO: There is a new mouser at 10 Downing! If you understand why I find this so exciting, congrats, chances are you are in the Merlin fandom. If you do not understand, it's a long, fic-related story, but it can also be summed up by CAT IN ENGLAND HOLDS GOVERNMENT POSITION: COUNTRY REMAINS AWESOME IF SLIGHTLY STRANGE AND INBRED.

THREE: Not only is Colin Morgan the prettiest tortured boy in the world, but alksjdflksdj this account of him dealing with autograph scalpers. BE MORE ADORABLE, MY DARLING, I DARE YOU.

FOUR: Speaking of things I want from England, I am in desperate need of owning this commemorative William & Kate condoms for reasons of sheer hilarity, but I cannot figure out how to explain the credit card charge to my mother. BUT I NEED THEM. AUGH CONUNDRUMS.

Though seriously, the website is pretty lulzy enough all on its own.

FIVE: It's really a good thing I'm not famous and going to the Oscars, because now I'm all torn because it's fashion week again and jeebus cripes, but I do love Monique Lhuillier collection. Especially the dress pictured on the bottom left. SO MANY GREEK-INSPIRED DRESSES I WANT TO WEAR, SO LITTLE TIME.

SIX: MY GERBILS ARE SUPER-CUTE. That's the part that makes me happy. The part that makes me unhappy is that apparently one of you has been giving Gusgus secret ninja training skills, because he managed to sneak out of the cage even when I was watching, without my knowledge. I kept thinking I heard him, but I'd been up all night fretting over one thing or another and I was exhausted,so I figured it was just me being paranoid again when I swore I heard his paws, since I thought I had seen him in the cage, and so I laid down for an hour and a half nap. Only when I woke up, I still thought I heard him, so I checked the cage again and surprise! It wasn't Gus, it was a shadow. Gus had found the way to crawl inside the couch through the hole in the back and had to be lured out by avocado. He's now on strict probation and only allowed couch runs in shot bursts under my extreme supervision, which is making him a little cranky. BUT THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING YOUR MAMA WORRY, GUSGUS. SUCK IT UP.

It does, however, make for an awesome story in retrospect.
chibirhm: (Another day in the Bartlett White House.)
Ugh, time to kill until work. I should be writing this short essay that I've been working on that actually has some promise, except I'm too bored to write. Have I mentioned Too Bored To Write feeling before? BECAUSE IT IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. SO! I am now going to share with you the mishmash of links I have acquired, and you're going to entertain me in my comments section, and you will enjoy it, goddamn.

Excellent spam! Includes pretty dresses, memes, and a kitten and a puppy in love with each other. )
chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

SPAMMITY SPAM SPAM. )
chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)


THINGS WE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD OF MY APPARENT INABILITY TO UPDATE MY LIVEJOURNAL: OOH, COLIN MORGAN. OOOOOOH. I've told you guys about my deep and abiding obsession I have with Colin's profile, right, and how I believe that it is the most perfect profile in the universe, from which all perfect profiles are thus derived? In case I haven't, those are my feelings. OOH COLIN MORGAN. I WOULD FEEL SWOONY AND FAINT AROUND YOU, BUT THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Guys, I wish I had, like, a legitimate and good reason why I can't seem to post a lot lately. I wish I had a secret project or was a secret government agent. I wish I had gotten a new puppy/unicorn/whatever. The truth is I've been busy with really boring stuff. Like yesterday I had a meeting in Harvard Square in the morning and then I napped the afternoon away because I'm not used to having to be conscious in the morning. The day before that, I was busy shoveling two feet of snow. And then there have been a bunch of days where it's like wrote an article! Spent all day making phone calls! I've been posting on tumblr a lot because you don't really have to say anything on tumblr and it's v. v. convenient. Tumblr is also a place where it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged to blather for roughly one paragraph about eighteen times a day and no one is like kasjflkjdsfl STOP SPAMMING ME. So here are some things that, were it socially acceptable on Livejournal to spam you with four-sentence updates, I would have one so, as illustrated by .gifs:

LONG WORDY LIST GOES HERE. )
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Happy New Year's everyone! I'm not fond of New Year's because I think it's a generally dumb holiday (it's been a year since that arbitrarily chosen day we celebrated last year! Hurrah!), but I have made the resolution to stop being so damn lazy at night and actually brush my fucking teeth every night, which half the time I don't do because my teeth "don't feel dirty" and I'm a disgusting slob. It's gross. It's so gross. I need to get on that. Though I failed with the one night I had to start, because I closed my eyes for two seconds waiting for a download to finish and next thing I know my mom's come down at 5 AM to turn off the light in the living room because I fell asleep (in a really uncomfortable position). So yeah, teeth brushing did not happen so much. I have asked my various animals their new year's resolutions as well. Charlie vows to chew ALL the cardboard, Gus wants to become a big boy and explore brand new couches that he has yet to poop on, and Ella wants her belly rubbed for at least three hours a day. I think that they'll probably all be relatively successful, too.

I've also been watching How I Met Your Mother with Evan (twin brother, for you newbies), who's home from college, and really, really wanted to marathon it. So obvs, I am pimping the show out like whoa, because at least once a day I make a verbal How I Met Your Mother reference and everyone in my family stares at me weird. Mostly it's great, except for the fact that Evan is romantically retarded. Like, I love him, but he really, really is. (Which is why I always use him as an argument for Bradley/Colin, because if even he looks at two dudes and thinks they're fucking/want to be, he's usually right.) I could bore you with lots of examples but I will just settle on this: we're almost done with Season 1 and Evan still thinks that Ted and Robin are The Most Perfect For Each Other Couple Ever. (And yes, he still thought that after seeing Zip Zip Zip. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN'S BRAIN.)

My reaction was roughly as follows:



I never re-watch any episodes past Mary the Paralegal because it's all Ted and Robin getting together (yuck) and Marshall and Lily temporarily breaking up (MY HEART IS BROKEN) it's just like why would I ever do that to myself? And I can just tell he's going to be cheering and beaming. WHILE MARSHALL AND LILY BREAK UP. E TU, BRUTE?

Also, I am concerned for that boy's romantic future.

And in conclusion, link dump! The... whatever it's called, that row where you can drag links for quick reference, is getting crowded, and it's entirely filled with links that are in regards to Men I Find Ridiculously Endearing And Delightful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
  • It sounds really lame, but honestly, if you have ever been a fan of Monsieur Cumberbatch, you should listen to him "sing" Candle in the Wind. OH CUMBERSNATCH, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE THE OCEAN.
  • I'm starting to be seriously concerned that there's some sort of computer chip implanted in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brain that compels him to be overwhelmingly, ridiculously endearing at exactly the right intervals such that I will become incapable of escaping from the growing chasm-like crush I have on him. This morning such an event occurred when he recommended this fabulous article by Oliver Sacks on how your brain never stops growing so you should never stop learning. I am honestly stumped by what I find the most appealing about this; the fact that he reads the New York Times op-eds, the fact that he reads and knows who OLIVER SACKS is (aka: the coolest/only scientist I legit care about), or the fact that he's all fangirly over lifetime education. EITHER WAY IT IS MIGHTY HARD TO TYPE 'ROUND THEM HEARTS IN MY EYES.
  • Speaking of endearing menfolk, everyone who failed to tell me about this Alex O'Loughlin interview is fired from life.



    HE JUGGLES. AND DISCUSSES OPEN HEART SURGERY. AND IS ADORABLE. I CAN'T EVEN.
  • Hey everyone! Let's all go objectify sulky bb Scott Caan! Okay!
  • I would attempt to explain the glory of the following quote by Tom Hardy, in which he describes his strangest dream, but I cannot do it justice, so let's just all read it together:
    "I'm on stage at a Star Trek convention, and I'm wearing my Shinzon makeup and costume from Star Trek: Nemesis. Sitting next to me are Leo DiCaprio dressed as Captain Kirk, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Mr. Spock, Cillian Murphy as McCoy and Ellen Page as Uhura, and we’re all answering audience member questions about Inception. Suddenly, a Klingon in the audience stands up and shoots Leo in the chest, and the whole room erupts into chaos. Ellen shouts for Cillian to do something, but he tells her that he's an actor, not a doctor, so she looks at me and begs me to help, and I look at Leo and he's clearly dying, so I say I'll do what I can. I grab a ball-point pen and a microphone cord and I'm about to perform surgery when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, that's when I wake up."

    Alright, if you're not attracted to Tom Hardy, that's fine. I'm not attracted to him in an "I would tap that" way so much as a "I want to draw you and stare at your face FOREVER because it's sort of aesthetically fascinating". I get it! But if you don't find him ridiculously endearing after reading that, I despair for you slightly. His brain is a magnificent place.
  • HAPPY (BELATED) TWETNY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY, COLIN MORGAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. I was discussing Colin's birthday/the inevitable drunken voicemails he probably gets, including the one from Bradley, with [livejournal.com profile] myfoolisheart, and I was sort of amusing myself by writing them when I realized that it is shockingly easy for me to write Bradley James drunk. I attribute this on the fact that he already has almost no brain-to-mouth filter while sober.

    I MISS YOU, BRADLEY AND COLIN.
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.

SO IF YOU FIND ME DEAD ANY TIME SOON, I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. FUCKING DIMPLES AND THE THINGS I CAN BE PERSUADED TO DO FOR THEM.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection


TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


MARMOTFAAAAAACE


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.



FOUR: Lots of fic to read! And recommend! I mean, obviously, there is Yuletide, but first, before you read that, DROP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GO READ THIS FIC CLAUDIA WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS ONLY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO HUMANITY PRETTY MUCH EVER. MERLIN/ARTHUR MODERN-DAY FIREFIGHTER AU. THERE IS A DOG. AND MAGIC. AND SEXY SHIRTLESSNESS. AND ARTHUR NAKED FOR A CHARITY CALENDER WITH ONLY HIS FIRE HAT IN A STRATEGIC LOCATION. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:



WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.
chibirhm: (Did you know I missed you?)
MY BIRTHDAY WAS SO AWESOME. I mean, my sister was feeling really unwell and was asleep most of the night instead of hanging out like we'd planned so that was annoying, but still! I have a very long history of very crappy birthdays, between it being so close to Christmas and being a twin (I mean, my parents were always great about giving us both what we wanted, even if that meant baking two cakes and cooking two dinners, but it's inevitable that as a kid you watch all your friends and your sister have a day that's JUST THEIR DAY FOREVER and you have to share it, and it feels sort of crappy, no matter how great your parents are) and the fact that for whatever reason, no one ever remembered it. It was particularly hellish in high school when there would be those girls who would go around with crowns and balloons tied to their bags and expect you to treat them like queens for a day and basically stop every class for fifteen minutes, and I would always make such a fuss over my friends' birthdays (once we bought a cafeteria cupcake and conned a science teacher into giving us a lighter they used for a Bunsen burner to "blow out", I never managed to top that one), and I would have to remind people for weeks it was my birthday and then whenever it came around they'd be like "sorry, forgot, have a big Spanish test and I was thinking about what I was going to do over Christmas break" and it was like lksdafjlksjdflkj ARG.

But yesterday! I slept until noon, I chilled out all day, the BFF came over for Chinese food, Ella spent the night, cake was delicious, I got Merlin season 1, How I Met Your Mother seasons 3 and 4, Community season 1, a cute little creamer shaped like a bunny, a cute little notebook again, with bunnies (bunnies are my "thing" in my family), and some big fuzzy PJ pants. Plus, [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark got me a year of paid account time! BB YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME. I WILL TRY TO FINISH A FIC SOMETIME BEFORE I DIE FOR YOU. And thank you for everyone who sent me messages! You all are too good to me. ♥

ANYWAY, SOME RANDOM MISCELLANY THAT DOESN'T REALLY COHERENTLY GO ANYWHERE.

UNE: So I was doing top 5's for my tumblr and had made all these pretty graphics when Ella, trying to get my attention, pawed at my laptop and SHUT IT DOWN before I had a chance to save them. TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY.

Most of it is easy enough to re-create, but the real tragedy is losing the one that was for Merlin/Arthur/Bradley/Colin (okay, they're all one giant mashed-up ball of love in my head. AND YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM). It took me SO LONG to find/narrow down screencaps and pictures that spanned all seasons and eras and it is too fucking much to undertake again. So, hardship of hardships, I think you all should reach down and trawl through your photo collections for your favorite (undoctored/colored/whatever) pictures of the boys being stupidface in love for me to put into a collage. The only requirement is that they both be in the frame instead of just giving besotted eyes to the camera, like I want it to be obvious to anyone, even if they've never seen the two before, that they're looking at each other like I LOVE YOUUU.

DEUX:D'you know that I can easily choose my top 5 gay OTPs, but once you include all my heterosexual OTPs, I get SUPER CONFUSED?!?! Like I was going to do two top fives, one of just gay couples and one of just straight ones, but when I went to list all my favorite het pairings the list just kept going and going and going and I love them all the same! It's not with the same ardent fire and passion that my gay pairings inspire in me, mostly because I don't have to fight for het pairings to happen, you know? They actually get together if I wait long enough. They all make my heart warm. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM, IT'S LIKE MURDERING BABIES.

TROIS: DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG WHERE ARE YOU GUYS, I NEED SOMEONE TO JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SQUEAL LOUDLY WITH. WHERE IS THE PARTY?!?!? IS THERE A PARTY?!?!? SHOULD I HOST A PARTY?!?!? AM I THE ONLY ONE EXCITED FOR THE INEVITABLE CELEBRATORY YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF GAY COUPLES IN UNIFORM HUGGING AND MAKING OUT?!?!??!

QUATRE: Did you know I updated my fanvid request post? YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT, HINT HINT.

CINQ: Jesus fucking Christ the cast of Community is adorable. I've been listening to all the commentaries and I just want to move in with them and we can all be besties. Though I'm unsure how I feel about Dan Harmon. He's a genius, obviously, and I agree with him on a lot of things, but he also comes across as a kind of giant smug asshole.

But seriously, why doesn't Community get nominated for more shit? It's way better than a lot of the crap that does get nominated. I'm talking to you, United States of Tara and inexplicable Two and a Half Men.

CINQ AND A HALF: Am I the only one who hates Jeff and Annie together on Community? It icks me out so hard I can't even describe. I still am all aboard the Annie/Troy train. I'm unsure how I feel about Jeff/Britta, but I really want Annie and Troy to grow up and go out and get married and Annie will be a social worker or whatever she wants to be and Troy will own a construction company and Abed will move to LA but he'll talk to Troy on the phone every day and stay at their house whenever he needs and before he makes it big live in their basement. THE END IT WILL BE AWESOME.

SIX: So I just realized the other day while I was doing dishes that Future Husband JGL and also probably Tom Hardy and Ellen Page are probably going to be at all the major awards events this season because Inception keeps getting nominated for shit! LET'S DISCUSS MY LEVELS OF EXCITEMENT! THEY ARE HIGH.

Also, let's discuss how hard I laughed when I saw the For Your Consideration posters for whichever ball of shit Twilight movie they're on. You know the scene where Edward proposes that's in every commercial ever now that one of them is coming out on DVD? It is so hilariously awful and flat. And oh my god, that ring is hideous. Like, even refraining from my feminism rant, how can anyone think those movies or books are good it is so mind-boggling.

SEPT: DID I MENTION DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEAL IS REALLY EXCITING?!?!?!

HOLY MOTHER OF EDIT: OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY COLIN AND BRADLEY BUT MY MIND IS BLOWN. HOLY. FUCKING. FUCK.

DO WANT RIGHT NOW THIS IS PHOTO PROOF THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN, OKAY THANKS BYE.
chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
saldfjdslkfj hello, hi, I am not dead, hi.

So most of you know why I have been conspicuously absent all week and if you don't, you can ask, uh, anyone else, and they will tell you. I'm not going into it because it's my work and I try to keep work and play as separate as I can (which is like, 95% impossible when my work is play), so yeah, thank you to everyone who's been respecting that, you are all magnificent and I love you.

But omg, completely unsympathetic complaint (well, not complaint so much as... venting?) time, I am so fucking tired. Like, I don't think I even realized how tired I was until I got home from my checkup and went to my e-mail and re-read one of my recent posts for work and was like "oh, fucknuggets, I sound so bitchy". I mean, in my defense, everyone gets bitchy sometimes, especially when they're tired, and I was doing like five things at once while I was typing that up, and I often forget that sarcasm cannot be read over the internet, but I only forget that when I'm really tired. And by tired I mean, I have been too adrenaline-crazy between work/my final yesterday which I vastly over-studied for/attempting to get Christmas presents out to sleep more than four or five hours a night. (Note: if I promised you something for Christmas, expect it for New Year's. If I promised you something and you are not American, expect it in time for Valentine's Day.) And thank God Bones is over for the year because I have like a week's worth of dishes I've been too busy to do sitting in the kitchen, plus I have to put in a laundry and vacuum the living room. Tonight. So for obvious reasons, I'm sort of eschewing the whole finale review/picspam thing for some later date when I am bored and Merlin fandom is quiet, and then I will be all SURPRISE! NINJA ATTACK OF MERLIN! And everyone will be all HOORAH HOORAH and we will celebrate jubilantly.

But tomorrow is my birthday, and you know what I'm giving myself for my birthday? A day of doing absolutely nothing. (Well, I will probably be finishing Christmas cards, and doing silly stuff like updating my fanvid wishlist because I have about five more ideas and one actually got made (!!!), but that's a fun sort of chore.) I will be lolling around the internet basking in the warm fuzzy glow cast by the re-ignition of the fandom squee machine, and then at night I am having what I consider to be The Formula For The Best Night Ever. And by that, I mean it will be me, my sister, my BFF, and my dog marathoning 30 Rock while eating Chinese food, and then the dog will sleep over curled up against my tummy. Because clearly, I am a hardcore party animal like that. You know what else I'm giving myself for my birthday? A GIANT NAP. WHICH IS REALLY THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT I WANT FROM THE UNIVERSE. Well, at least on my realistic wishlist, because I don't think that, say, I will grow three inches overnight, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt is going to ring the doorbell tomorrow and ask me out with a sidebar of marrying him.

UNTIL THEN! PLEASE SQUEE AT ME. ACCEPTABLE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

- SCOTT CAAN AND THAT PICTURE OF HIM EATING A TRIPLE ORGASM CAKE TO CELEBRATE HIS GOLDEN GLOBE NOM BECAUSE OMG WTF ADORABLE
- THE PETITION THAT SOMEONE NEEDS TO START TO MAKE SCOTT CAAN BE SHIRTLESS BECAUSE REALLY NOW
- THIS MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I HAVE WATCHED LIKE EIGHT BILLION TIMES AND THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I WAS SO HAPPY I NEARLY THREW UP FROM SMILING TOO HARD
- ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS RIDICULOUS AND ADORABLE UNTIL HE SPEAKS WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, AT WHICH POINT SUDDENLY HE IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT TO HUG HIM UNTIL HIS EYES POP OUT LIKE ONE OF THOSE STRESS DOLLS
- BASICALLY ANYTHING RELATING TO HAWAII 5-0 BECAUSE OMG THAT SHOW IS LIKE A LITTLE OASIS OF GAY IN A BIG OLD HETEROSEXUAL DESERT
- FUZZY PUPPIES/KITTENS/GERBILS/COLIN MORGAN'S HAIR
- MY NEWEST THEORY ON COLIN MORGAN AS DISCUSSED WITH [livejournal.com profile] copperiisulfate: HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES, BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE HE WAS CAUSING ALL THE OTHER ELVES TO HAVE SEXUALITY CRISES AND IT WAS SLOWING DOWN PRODUCTIVITY
- THE WAY COLIN MORGAN SAYS WORDS
- THE FACT THAT BRADLEY JAMES TOTALLY UNSECRETLY READS LIVEJOURNAL BECAUSE AHAHAHAH, BRADLEY JAMES, YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU EXIST
- THIS EXISTS AND IS TRUE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY DELICIOUS? CAKE IS REALLY DELICIOUS
- SO ARE CUPCAKES
- OR PIE
- I LOVE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH'S FACE AND I FEEL WE DON'T DISCUSS THIS ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO LOVELY SOMETIMES I WANT TO CREATE CHARTS DISCUSSING, LIKE, HOW HIS EYES ARE MAGNIFICENT
- I'M ON A BOAT. (DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!)
chibirhm: (Je ne comprends pas - je suis anglais)
If you have ever had an IM conversation with me, you know that during the course of that conversation there is a 90% chance I will, out of nowhere, burst out with "YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FANVID?" and then rattle off some idea or five. Which would be great, if I was capable of making videos. Well, technically, I do have Windows Movie Maker, but even trying to cut together a few clips of my dog on that makes my soul weep. HOW DO PEOPLE DEAL WITH THAT PROGRAM? IT TAKES LIKE FIVE BILLION YEARS AND YOU GET SO MANY RANDOM CLIPS AND AKLSFJALKSJFLKASJ.

Anyway, after complaining to [livejournal.com profile] thisissirius for, like, a month, I decided you know what, I have a text document filled with ideas, it's the holidays, it's a week and a half to my birthday, surely something, somewhere on this list will inspire someone to make something. The ideas are free! All I ask is that, if any of these are to be made, please link me so I may worship the maker appropriately. Also, I'm gonna be updating this post constantly as new ideas come to me. CHECK BACK ON IT. I MAY HAVE HAD A STROKE OF GENIUS.

Video ideas for Sherlock, Hawaii 5-0, Merlin RPF, and mostly just Merlin. )

ANYWAY. I'll get to the giant Merlin spam of both parts of the finale soon, but it's taking a long time because I keep forgetting I'm actually trying to take screencaps and think up commentary and next thing I know it's twenty minutes later and I've re-watched it and not done a damn thing because I'm to distracted by the pretty. MY LIFE, SO HARD.
chibirhm: (I suppose you find this amusing.)
OH MY HOLY FUCKING FUCK, Y'ALL.

GUYS. GUYS. GUYSSSSS. THE MERLIN FINALE. WAS SO. IT WAS JUST SO. ASLFJSKLDFJLJFSL. HOW AM I GOING TO REVIEW THIS IN UNDER A THOUSAND WORDS?!?!? I COULD WRITE BOOKS ON EVERYTHING I LOVED. BOOKS. BOOOOOOOOKS! MERLIN WAS SO AMAZING! ARTHUR WAS SO FUCKING KINGLY I COULD DIE! BRADLEY AND COLIN WERE SO GORGEOUS I CANNOT EVEN. COLIN WITH YOUR FACE AND BRADLEY'S EYES WERE SO BEAUTIFUL THIS EPISODE. HIS EYESSSSSS. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIS EYES. KNIIIIIIIIIIGHTS! BADDEST BUNCH OF GQMFS EVER OH HOLY SHIT. LANCELOT I LOVE YOU AND MISSED YOU SO MUCH IF YOU EVER LEAVE AGAIN I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. GAIUS! WTF YOU OLD BASTARD YOU'RE KIND OF AWESOME!

AND THE GIRLS!OH MY GOD THEY DESERVE A PARAGRAPH OF THEIR OWN BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. KATIE'S ACTING WAS PHENOMENAL I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER. AND GWEN! ANGEL! ANGEL MOTHERFLIPPING COULBY. HONESTLY I THINK LOVING GWEN WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE EPISODE, I CHEERED AND SQUEALED SO LOUD AT HER BEING AWESOME. (I mean except for her parts with Arthur and vice-versa, how do those two have phenomenal chemistry with literally everyone else in the cast/world but the second they're in a scene together it's like pbbbbblt.) BUT OMG GWEN. GWEN. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE LIKE MY LONG-LOST BEST FRIEND. THE ONLY THING BETTER WAS THE MERLIN/ARTHUR SCENES WHICH I CANNOT EVEN DISCUSS COHERENTLY I JUST. I JUST. I DON'T CARE WHAT JULIAN SAID ANY SCENE WITH THOSE TWO THEIR EYES. THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH SO MUCH LOVE I AM JUST. I AM SO. I CANNOT.

OKAY TONIGHT IS BIG HANNUKAH NIGHT AT OUR HOUSE WITH THE LATKES AND ALL THE PEOPLE SO I HAVE TO SHOWER BUT OMG PRESENTS AND CANDLES AND FRIED SHIT AND THE BEST FINALE EVER I THINK I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT CHRISTMAS MORNING FEELS LIKE TO REGULAR PEOPLE.
chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)
Dear Mean Meme,

You are reaching dangerous levels of Not Cool, Man. First, you discussed something my friend said in flock out of flock, which is just... wow. And that's not even the first time you've done that! Even if these people weren't my friends, douche move. And now, you are acting totally drunk off the power of "revealing" that Georgia and Bradley are dating. Really, Mean Meme? I will admit that yes, I initially freaked out. However, you forget, I think, that people are capable of going back to check facts. Remember how that rumor came out initially and it was ridiculed BEFORE the pictures showed up? Remember why? Because there were tweets saying Bradley was in LA at the fucking time the picture was supposed to be taken, and you know who I'm going to believe? Someone on Twitter. Who actually puts their name on the stuff they write. As opposed to an obscure anon fandom cesspool. So unless Bradley has somehow managed to break the space-time continuum, that picture proves nothing other than Bradley and Georgia were seen in public together, and that the source is a liar. Wooo! Shocking!

Meme, you are part of my life in the same way the weather forecast is part of my life. I watch you because I feel it more prudent to see what's coming than to stick my head in the sand. It is time that you took a good, hard look at yourself and realized that, much like the weather forecast, you are wrong, like, 90% of the time.

Sincerely,
Me

And now, for something much more exciting, TIME FOR MERLIN THOUGHTS.

THAT TIME ON MERLIN WHERE BRADLEY AND COLIN MADE FACES AND I WENT !!!!!!!!ASLKJFLSKDJFKSDLJF!!!!!!! )

Edit: Somewhere, there is a fourteen year old version of me having a joy seizure over this.

Edit 2: I ran out of my ADD meds and was totally spaced out, so instead of taking me a few hours, this recap took me the entire ding-dong day. I also took, like, five accidental naps today. CURSE YOU ARTIFICIALLY CREATED ENERGY I HAVE GROWN USED TO. During that time Hawaii 5-0 was on and WHAT THE WHAT IS THIS SHOW. Okay, to recap, Within the first ten minutes Steve first looks like rough trade by wearing a nearly see-through wifebeater, then he strips and shamelessly objectifies himself (while they cut to Danny VERY CLEARLY OGLING HIM AHAHAHHAHA WHAT IS THIS) while Kono (who isn't exactly bad-looking) demurely puts on a diving vest to cover up her bikini in the background. And then! After that! Danny calls Steve "babe". As in, he literally turns to Steve and says "There are cleaning people for that, babe" in front of another team member. Between this and all the rampant positive portrayal of minorities, I am now 99% sure this show is all a figment of my imagination. It actually exists in a magical world of rainbows and unicorns and I am thinking about what I want to see and subconsciously projecting it onto my television. I expect Danny and Steve to be making out by the season finale, show.

Also, what is the proper protocol when one is writing a fic that gets disproved by canon? Because I was writing a Steve makes terrible excuses to crash on Danny's couch which leads to sex fic, but now we know Steve's staying in his bullet-riddled house. Honestly, it's Steve, so I should have suspected that, but I stupidly figure that, like most cop shows, Hawaii 5-0 would forget that episodes don't happen in a vacuum. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, OH FRIENDSLIST.
chibirhm: (Time for the reckoning.)
Do you ever get in one of those moods where you wake up and you're all GRR ARG DO ALL THE THINGS and then you do, except your brain is still hopping on crazy adrenaline like WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE?!?! WE NEED TO DO ALL THE THINGS!!!! Because that is my brain today, and by god, its annoying. Like, chill, self, I responded to three e-mails, renewed my prescription, made two doctor's appointments, helped my mom clean the bathroom, and posted an article for work. All I need to do is watch Modern Family and Cougar Town (not exactly strenuous) and do the dishes.

Welcome to my brain. 95% of the time it's a lazy bastard, but that 5% of the time where it's not, it's a total bitch.

In more exciting news, I'm writing again! As in, fic, and not for work! Hooray! Though it will probably disappoint most of you to know that it's Hawaii 5-0 fic. Look, I'm sorry, dudes, but I haven't been able to write since Big Bang. Like, I think my brain was suffering from writing PTSD. Because LJ entries and blog posts were totally fine, but the second I opened a google doc or any form of word processor, my brain would shut down completely. And so then I thought, maybe I am burnt out on the fic for this fandom, if not the squee. So after regular Merlin I tried Merlin RPS. Nothing. Inception/Merlin crossover AU? Nothing. Inception? Nothing. Sherlock? Nothing. So at this point, I'd be excited to write fucking Smurf fanfiction, I don't even give a fuck. Also, these are the guys I'm writing about:



Okay, that is not fan-made video, that is official promotional material. I'm pretty sure when life hands you that kind of gay on a silver platter it is your prerogative - nay, your duty - to write crazy fanfiction all up in this bitch. Right now I'm not sure of the quality of my writing - it feels sort of chopped-up and lumpy. It's a lot of really great dialogue with not a lot of anything else. As in, like, descriptors. Or an actual plot. But the dialogue is so super snappy, you guys.

Also, I'm fighting really hard with myself to not name this story "How Danny Williams Got Lei'd" because 1. that's the most horrible, overused pun in the history of time and 2. That's totally not what the story is even about, but how has no one in the Hawaii 5-0 fandom used that joke yet? I'm not sure who I'm more ashamed of, myself, or everyone else.

ANYWAY, I'm boring, you don't care, here are three links for you to peruse:

ONE!
I'm normally not that much of a fan of Hyperbole and a Half. Like, it's fun, but I don't see the big deal - maybe because it was so over-hyped to me. But I still follow it because, well, fun. ANYWAY, pretty much all of her entries are meh and cute, but yesterday she wrote an entry about how her dogs reacted to her moving that almost made me pee my pants laughing so hard. Like, I was crying. Seriously. I was reading this entry last night while my parents and sister were having a Serious and Upsetting Grown-Up Conversation (About Serious and Upsetting Things) in the kitchen, and I was half-listening because I wanted to know what was going on but didn't want to actually get involved. And I knew I couldn't laugh to hard out loud because, well, the mood of the house was very solemn, but OH MY GOD THIS ARTICLE. So I ended up sitting there making these choking sobby noises, and eventually my mom was like "...Julia, are you okay? Are you.... crying?!?!" and I was like "NO!" except I sort of sounded like I was crying because I couldn't really speak. Also, I Was crying, it was just from laughter.

I don't know what it is about when she writes about her dogs, but I want her to write about them ALL THE TIME because when she wrote about the canine intelligence test? Also completely lost it. I'm not sure why I find this so funny. Maybe it has to do with having worked in a dog daycare so I can look at that ridiculous behavior and go "OH MY GOD IT'S SO TRUE AHAHHHAHAHAH DOGS". WHAT RIDICULOUS ANIMALS.

TWO!
Not for the faint of heart, but there are new stills of Colin in Parked and OH MY GOD, COLIN MORGAN. YOU ARE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. HOW DO YOU MAKE ME CRY IN THE AWESOMEST POSSIBLE WAY?!!?!?

THREE!
Because I think Bradley James secretly has a psychic connection to my brain, this is the (very late) quest:



HE AND COLIN DISCUSS THEIR BODIES. BY WHICH HE MEANS, SWAPPING THEM. AS IN, HE AND COLIN WRITE BODYSWAP FIC IN THEIR SPARE TIME. AHAHAHAHAHA WHO ARE YOU BOYS, SERIOUSLY. ALSO, SOMEONE PLEASE PUT BRADLEY JAMES ON THE WRITING TEAM OF MERLIN, STAT. HE CLEARLY HAS THE BEST IDEAS.

EDIT: OH GREAT FRIENDSLIST, does anyone know how to code? I want to change my LJ layout very slightly - tweak it so it has a background image, widen the area the entries are in, change the colors, that sort of thing - but don't know enough about CSS to do so. If you can do so, please let me know, and I'll make out with you. A lot.
chibirhm: (Lemon out!)
SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: A LIST


One- Merlin!
How is the cast of this show so fricken-fracken delightful? It's like it's their personal mission to make sure I grin haplessly at my computer monitor at least once a day. Like yesterday, the full blooper reel came out, which is all stuff we've seen but it's all in one place! I didn't realize until I saw it that 49% is Bradley James' amazing and stupid face, 1% is random shenanigans, and 50% is Anthony Head losing his shit for no discernible reason. I love that man's giggle, seriously. I love it so much that I just went back and listened to every commentary for Merlin he's done, because he spends most commentaries giggling and I love his giggle. LOVE IT.

Also, lest you think I've forgotten my younger fellows, today also brought us pictures of Colin in a dinghy (WARNING: possible spoilers?), which is utterly adorable because he has to fold all his coltish limbs up to fit in what frankly looks like the world's most unstable watercraft and he's beaming like a loon and seriously, Colin, what do you eat in the morning to make you this adorable? And finally, there's a new Bradley interview that absolutely cracks me up every time I re-read it. Basically, the interviewer's pretty enthused about the Arthur/Gwen romance and is trying to get Bradley to be enthused too, and instead he sort of evades and gives a one-line answer. But when asked off-hand about Colin? THREE PARAGRAPHS. Oh, Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley, how I love you and your completely unsubtle biases. I've always strongly believed that Bradley should insert himself into the Merlin creative team, because if he had his way it's pretty clear the episodes would go SWASH SWASH BUCKLE BUCKLE, SWORDS! BIG MONSTERS! GRR! ARG! [POSSIBLY MAKE OUT WITH COLIN AT END BEFORE PREVIEW] and it would be the greatest thing ever. Show writers! Listen to this boy! He's more than just really ridiculously good-looking.

Also! I had yet another fanvid idea. Anyone who makes me an angsty Gwen(/torn between Arthur and Lancelot/aw shit Morgana isn't my friend anymore/my dad is dead and my brother's fucked off/life is hard) video to This Woman's Work wins the entire internets. IT COULD BE SO AMAZING, YOU GUYS.


Two - Hawaii 5-0!
[livejournal.com profile] lamardeuse is a slutty, slutty enabler who should feel bad about herself for getting me into yet another homoerotic cop show that will tease me worse than a Chippendale's dancer and then never follow through with the gay. And yet, I got suckered into it because, well, you say "here is a new television show about two attractive dudes who are not-so-subtly panting after each other" and I am there. So perhaps I am the slut in this situation.

The point is, I was supposed to be helping my co-workers in the Castle livechat and am I doing that now? No. No, I am watching Hawaii 5-0 and flapping my hands because oh my god, you guys, I swear, they really are going to make during sweeps. Really. I have no other logical explanation for what is happening on my television screen. I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. MOST OF THEM ARE GAY FEELINGS, BUT SOME OF THEM ARE ALSO ABOUT HOW GRACE PARK IS STUPIDLY GOOD-LOOKING. And positive portrayals (mostly) of people of color! Non-stale storylines! Cultural exploration in a respectful way! DID I MENTION THAT STEVE AND DANNY ARE LIKE TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM DOING IT?!?!?

ANYWAY. Last night's episode was all sorts of amazing and I have pretty much spent the entire night e-mailing everyone I know and making squeaking noises at [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, because! Because! Danny was so jealous and Steve was so smitten and alksjflksdjf. And did you guys realize that Steve's house is now totally wrecked, plus a crime scene, so Steve can't stay there. Which means, obviously, he needs somewhere more permanent to stay than a hotel. Which means he is TOTALLY CRASHING AT DANNY'S. And Danny's lest we forget, is a tiny apartment with only a pull-out couch to sleep on. Which of course Steve will worm his way into. And then sex will happen. In fact, we will probably open on this very scene next week. I am taking bets. Like, right now.

In conclusion: HAWAII'S FLAG - IT'S A RAINBOW FOR A FUCKING REASON.


Three - Tina Fey exists!
So you all now how Tina Fey is my role model in life, right? Well she just became the third-ever woman to win the Mark Twain Prize for humor, and then she gave a kickass acceptance speech, and basically, I still want to go to there.


SHERLOCK! It just has a lot of youtube videos so I'm cutting this. )

EDIT EDIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EDIT!!!!! GUYS GUYS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I was literally JUST hitting the post button when [livejournal.com profile] puckling IMed me like SHIT STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND GO LOOK AT THE NEW MERLIN PROMO PIC so I did and HOLY FUCK KNIGHTS OF THE TOTALLY HOTASS ROUND TABLE. DO NOT WALK, RUN TO GO SEE IT. LOOK, I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH A LINK:

CLICK FOR OVERWHELMING HOTASSERY.

SERIOUSLY I OPENED THE HI-RES PICTURE AND IT WAS SO SEXY IT DISCONNECTED MY INTERNET FOR A MINUTE THERE.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T EVEN. THIS IS WHY I CAN NEVER, EVER, EVER QUIT YOU, SHOW.
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
chibirhm: (I suppose you find this amusing.)
ALRIGHT, FRIENDSLIST! IT IS TIME TO FESS UP. WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS FOR ME?



Okay, I know it wasn't directly for me, I found it when trawling tumblr for gifs (SO MANY HOMG! I now think I have a Liz Lemon gif to apply to every situation, which is totally necessary as Liz Lemon is my personal hero/rolemodel in life) and I found this. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON. It's like whoever made this has been GChatting with me, because I've had a long-held belief that nothing cannot be made more adorable with a monocle. (This is actually a philosophical pillar of my world view, I am not even lying.) Before Tess died it was my LIFE GOAL to figure out how to get her to wear a monocle. I now extend this hope to any future gerbils I have. One day, I will get a gerbil to wear a monocle, and I will take a picture, and that picture will cause world peace.

Speaking of gerbils, I've been trying to put my feelers out for available litters. I miss Tess horribly, but more than Tess I miss having a gerbil. I miss the tiny paws and the little faces and the squeaks and the sound of chomping on cardboard. I'm pretty sure I could be emotionally ready for a new pair in a week or two, but I'd ideally like to get a new pair around the holidays, at the latest. I asked the breeder I've used before and who I would call with any questions, but while she has foster gerbils I can adopt, she doesn't have any pups or baby gerbils on the way. I'm really against the idea of me, personally, adopting already full-grown gerbils. I get so very attached and I need them to be around as long as possible, because it's too damn traumatic otherwise. And apparently, her breeding pairs are just not feeling the romantic jive lately, because she says they're perfectly happy and healthy, just not getting down. She recommended me to two other breeders in the area, and put a special note that one had just had a litter, but when I e-mailed that breeder she said "she wasn't breeding anymore", whatever that means - I'm guessing she's trying to expand her business and isn't giving away the gerbils so she can breed them, but still, she'd put the litter up on her website, which I just think is totally unfair and mocking, personally. I still have one more breeder to contact, which is a primarily chichilla breeder who I think only fosters gerbils, but I'm afraid to e-mail him and have him tell me no, because then I know for certain instead of just mostly knowing that I'll have to wait a while for new babies.

So I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] thisissirius about my dilemma last night at, like, 3:30 AM, because I've been having insomnia. I was telling her about how I'd been considering other rodent-type pets, actually, because gerbils are so short-lived, and I'd briefly looked into chinchillas, but they live on average 15 years. Most live into their twenties. And their care is extremely involved. If I wanted a pet that complicated, I'd get a dog. Plus I'd, like, enjoy dating someone at some point in the next 15-20 years, and it's easier and more socially acceptable to be like "I have a co-dependent relationship with my dog" rather than "I have a co-dependent relationship with a chinchilla". And then Siri was like OMG THIS IS WHAT IS KEEPING COLIN AND BRADLEY APART! COLIN IS AFRAID TO INTRODUCE HIM TO HIS CHINCHILLA!" Which I thought, clearly, could only result in the following exchange:
Colin: (pulls away from kissing, breathing heavily) Bradley, no, stop. I need to... I haven't... I think I should introduce you to Trevor, my chinchilla.
Bradley: Yeah you should.

(Several weeks later)

Colin: And this is Trevor.
Trevor: (chitters)
Bradley: Wait, this wasn't a euphemism?
Trevor: (scrubs face disapprovingly)

So while Siri was contemplating a meet-the-chinchilla scenario, I was pondering on the fact that Colin Morgan, in addition to being a kitten, a baby deer, Jigglypuff, and a host of other things, would also clearly be, were he a rodent, a chinchilla. I mean, look at them:



Chinchillas are extremely intelligent little creatures. They are beyond fussy when it comes to temperature and especially diet. They're nearly extinct out of captivity because they were almost hunted to extinction for their fur, which is extremely prized for how luxurious and soft it is. They're industrious and energetic, friendly, and kind of quirky. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE? Just imagine that little face going EHM, EHM, I THINK I WOULD LIKE SOME KYECK, AND THEN PERHAPS WE CAN EXPLORE SOME KYEVS. EHM. YEAH.

...and this is why, should you ever see me awake and online at four in the morning, make me go to bed.

And now I'm going to go do some dishes, and by "dishes" I mean "carve my pumpkin", and by "carve my pumpkin" I mean "Watch the Rally to Restore Sanity and pretend I'm getting shit done, which I'm not".
chibirhm: (I'm not good with messes.)
ONE!
So I knew vaguely there was racefail stuff going on in Inception fandom but I was avoiding it because I hate racefail. HATE IT. Last year's hubbub turned me off of people trying to out politically correct each other. I'm trying to refrain from a race rant because hello, wank, no one needs more of it. A lot has been said and really, it's been over a week. No fuel needs to be added to the fire. I'm just going to say these few things, which are my reactions to most racefail and which I feel are still relevant/important:

One, authors are not their characters. I'm not taking sides when I say this on the actual wank being discussed, I'm just saying this as an author who has had this mistake made about their work, and it's always been a pet peeve. My characters are not me. They do not represent my point of view. They do not do what I would do. They don't have to be perfect people, because real people aren't perfect. Real people make racist comments, or sexist comments, or dumb comments. If I want to write a character who tells his wife to go back to the kitchen where she belongs, this doesn't mean I think women should all go back to the kitchen, or that he necessarily has to be a villain to say that. (Even though I like to be in the kitchen. Actually, is it my day to do dishes? Fuck.) I don't like the idea that I, as an author, should have to warn for that, or put a little asterisk/footnote saying "BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT MY POINT OF VIEW". Shouldn't that be self-evident? My neighbors, all of them, are extremely nice people. But most of them are hardcore, Fox News-watching, homophobic, and semi-racist as well. Life isn't that cut and dry, and fiction shouldn't have to be either.

I'm saying this regardless of what was said in the fic that got people in a hubbub because it was supposedly racist, appropriate or not. I didn't actually read the fic (though I did read the passage people complained about). I don't actually care what was said and who said what. That is not the point. The point is, from an author's point of view, can I just complain about this phenomenon in general? If I write a character who has a nervous tic, no one assumes I have that nervous tic. If I write a character who's alcoholic, people don't assume I'm alcoholic. (I hope.) Sometimes I need to write a character saying something despicable, and so I don't see why someone should then assume that nothing else relates to my actual point of view, but that comment does.

The fact of the matter is, sometimes people say offensive things in real life, no matter how good-intentioned they are. I know I have. I'm not saying it's GOOD it happens, but the feeling that you have to make your characters perfectly eloquent, PC, walking advertisements for The Right Way To Handle Situations, and sparkling bastions of humanity is, from an author's point of view, extremely hampering. And irritating. And generally, bad.

Two, The fandom corner of the internet is, in general, an extremely accepting place. When racefail does erupt, it's usually over something pretty small. I care about -isms. I care a lot about social justice. In an ideal world, perhaps these are things we should nitpick over but really? This is, no matter how you look at it, nitpicking. There are big freaking instances of -isms out in the world. Like, here is some racism I posted about yesterday. And here is some really heinous homophobia. (By the way, I don't believe in hell, but I absolutely believe that when this guy dies, he will be burning in it.)

Fandom is a large place that can make a lot of change and do a lot of good and raise a lot of awareness. If we're going to do that, why are we wasting time on internet fights over interrogating texts from the wrong perspective or getting into fights that boil down to "you're more internally racist and have more privilege!" "no, you're more internally racist and have more privilege!"?

I would love to live in a world where a throwaway potentially racist line in a piece of fanfiction is, in fact, the worst thing that happens in the big, wide world of -isms and intolerance. But we do not live in that world, and for that reason, this entire thing is fucking ridiculous.

If fandom would like to discuss the problems that are legitimately problematic in the world today, I will be there marching in the parade and cheering on the forces of progressiveness and acceptance and spreading the word loud and far. But if fandom is continue getting into silly slapfights, I'm going to continue to roll my eyes and ignore fandom when it comes to race and discussing and wanking about it, because seriously? Seriously? There are a limited number of hours in a day, and the number of hours I'm willing to budget out for being annoyed is even more limited. At some point, in order to remain relatively sane and healthy, you need to make a threshold of things that get you all foaming at the mouth, because the world is so full of irritating things that if you were actually irritated by everything that maybe deserved to get upset over, you would not have time to sleep. I like sleep. I like being sane. I like being happy. If I'm going to be asked to get upset, I'd prefer it was over something that was, you know, actually a big problem that effects a lot of the world at large as opposed to, say, a hundred people on the internet.

But that's just me.


A lot of less heavy and unimportant stuff about Project Runway, Taylor Swift, Fox News, fic recs, otters, Merlin, Glee, dogs, pumpkin carving, rallies, and Bones DVDs. In that order. )

Man, I should... start looking into posting shorter entries more often. The problem is that I can go, like, a week and a half with nothing to say, and then all at once I have about TEN BILLION THINGS TO GET OUT. Like right now. I'm sorry. I just have so many ~thoughts and feelings~.
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