I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason
. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.
I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know
that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.
So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from sonicbookmark
, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli
, that's how".
SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:
WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.
Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play!
Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies
. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.
And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT.
On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover
. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC!
UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:
WELL HELLO THERE
, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.