chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

SPAMMITY SPAM SPAM. )
chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)


THINGS WE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD OF MY APPARENT INABILITY TO UPDATE MY LIVEJOURNAL: OOH, COLIN MORGAN. OOOOOOH. I've told you guys about my deep and abiding obsession I have with Colin's profile, right, and how I believe that it is the most perfect profile in the universe, from which all perfect profiles are thus derived? In case I haven't, those are my feelings. OOH COLIN MORGAN. I WOULD FEEL SWOONY AND FAINT AROUND YOU, BUT THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Guys, I wish I had, like, a legitimate and good reason why I can't seem to post a lot lately. I wish I had a secret project or was a secret government agent. I wish I had gotten a new puppy/unicorn/whatever. The truth is I've been busy with really boring stuff. Like yesterday I had a meeting in Harvard Square in the morning and then I napped the afternoon away because I'm not used to having to be conscious in the morning. The day before that, I was busy shoveling two feet of snow. And then there have been a bunch of days where it's like wrote an article! Spent all day making phone calls! I've been posting on tumblr a lot because you don't really have to say anything on tumblr and it's v. v. convenient. Tumblr is also a place where it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged to blather for roughly one paragraph about eighteen times a day and no one is like kasjflkjdsfl STOP SPAMMING ME. So here are some things that, were it socially acceptable on Livejournal to spam you with four-sentence updates, I would have one so, as illustrated by .gifs:

LONG WORDY LIST GOES HERE. )
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Happy New Year's everyone! I'm not fond of New Year's because I think it's a generally dumb holiday (it's been a year since that arbitrarily chosen day we celebrated last year! Hurrah!), but I have made the resolution to stop being so damn lazy at night and actually brush my fucking teeth every night, which half the time I don't do because my teeth "don't feel dirty" and I'm a disgusting slob. It's gross. It's so gross. I need to get on that. Though I failed with the one night I had to start, because I closed my eyes for two seconds waiting for a download to finish and next thing I know my mom's come down at 5 AM to turn off the light in the living room because I fell asleep (in a really uncomfortable position). So yeah, teeth brushing did not happen so much. I have asked my various animals their new year's resolutions as well. Charlie vows to chew ALL the cardboard, Gus wants to become a big boy and explore brand new couches that he has yet to poop on, and Ella wants her belly rubbed for at least three hours a day. I think that they'll probably all be relatively successful, too.

I've also been watching How I Met Your Mother with Evan (twin brother, for you newbies), who's home from college, and really, really wanted to marathon it. So obvs, I am pimping the show out like whoa, because at least once a day I make a verbal How I Met Your Mother reference and everyone in my family stares at me weird. Mostly it's great, except for the fact that Evan is romantically retarded. Like, I love him, but he really, really is. (Which is why I always use him as an argument for Bradley/Colin, because if even he looks at two dudes and thinks they're fucking/want to be, he's usually right.) I could bore you with lots of examples but I will just settle on this: we're almost done with Season 1 and Evan still thinks that Ted and Robin are The Most Perfect For Each Other Couple Ever. (And yes, he still thought that after seeing Zip Zip Zip. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN'S BRAIN.)

My reaction was roughly as follows:



I never re-watch any episodes past Mary the Paralegal because it's all Ted and Robin getting together (yuck) and Marshall and Lily temporarily breaking up (MY HEART IS BROKEN) it's just like why would I ever do that to myself? And I can just tell he's going to be cheering and beaming. WHILE MARSHALL AND LILY BREAK UP. E TU, BRUTE?

Also, I am concerned for that boy's romantic future.

And in conclusion, link dump! The... whatever it's called, that row where you can drag links for quick reference, is getting crowded, and it's entirely filled with links that are in regards to Men I Find Ridiculously Endearing And Delightful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
  • It sounds really lame, but honestly, if you have ever been a fan of Monsieur Cumberbatch, you should listen to him "sing" Candle in the Wind. OH CUMBERSNATCH, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE THE OCEAN.
  • I'm starting to be seriously concerned that there's some sort of computer chip implanted in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brain that compels him to be overwhelmingly, ridiculously endearing at exactly the right intervals such that I will become incapable of escaping from the growing chasm-like crush I have on him. This morning such an event occurred when he recommended this fabulous article by Oliver Sacks on how your brain never stops growing so you should never stop learning. I am honestly stumped by what I find the most appealing about this; the fact that he reads the New York Times op-eds, the fact that he reads and knows who OLIVER SACKS is (aka: the coolest/only scientist I legit care about), or the fact that he's all fangirly over lifetime education. EITHER WAY IT IS MIGHTY HARD TO TYPE 'ROUND THEM HEARTS IN MY EYES.
  • Speaking of endearing menfolk, everyone who failed to tell me about this Alex O'Loughlin interview is fired from life.



    HE JUGGLES. AND DISCUSSES OPEN HEART SURGERY. AND IS ADORABLE. I CAN'T EVEN.
  • Hey everyone! Let's all go objectify sulky bb Scott Caan! Okay!
  • I would attempt to explain the glory of the following quote by Tom Hardy, in which he describes his strangest dream, but I cannot do it justice, so let's just all read it together:
    "I'm on stage at a Star Trek convention, and I'm wearing my Shinzon makeup and costume from Star Trek: Nemesis. Sitting next to me are Leo DiCaprio dressed as Captain Kirk, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Mr. Spock, Cillian Murphy as McCoy and Ellen Page as Uhura, and we’re all answering audience member questions about Inception. Suddenly, a Klingon in the audience stands up and shoots Leo in the chest, and the whole room erupts into chaos. Ellen shouts for Cillian to do something, but he tells her that he's an actor, not a doctor, so she looks at me and begs me to help, and I look at Leo and he's clearly dying, so I say I'll do what I can. I grab a ball-point pen and a microphone cord and I'm about to perform surgery when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, that's when I wake up."

    Alright, if you're not attracted to Tom Hardy, that's fine. I'm not attracted to him in an "I would tap that" way so much as a "I want to draw you and stare at your face FOREVER because it's sort of aesthetically fascinating". I get it! But if you don't find him ridiculously endearing after reading that, I despair for you slightly. His brain is a magnificent place.
  • HAPPY (BELATED) TWETNY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY, COLIN MORGAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. I was discussing Colin's birthday/the inevitable drunken voicemails he probably gets, including the one from Bradley, with [livejournal.com profile] myfoolisheart, and I was sort of amusing myself by writing them when I realized that it is shockingly easy for me to write Bradley James drunk. I attribute this on the fact that he already has almost no brain-to-mouth filter while sober.

    I MISS YOU, BRADLEY AND COLIN.
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:



WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.
chibirhm: (Je ne comprends pas - je suis anglais)
Okay, so I have been warning you guys for a while that I am, uh, how do you say, a giant pretentious douchebag. I am like the most earnest of earnest hipsters. My honest love of things like Wes Anderson movies, indie music, and Chuck Taylors are only made more ironic by the fact that I also love Lady Gaga. My lack of effort put into being a hipster only intensifies my hipsterness! This is a fact I am forced to accept about myself.

So, Alex O'Loughlin, right? He's in Hawaii 5-0 and he's cute, but he isn't like, here are my panties, they are soaking with a combination of water I used to put out the fire you lit in them as well as my lady juices. And I was very comfortable with this fact until I saw this picture:

What is this I don't even. )

I'm not sure if this makes my life dream of marrying Joseph Gordon-Levitt more feasible because oh my god, wouldn't we be so adorably pretentious together, or if perhaps it should be prevented because can you imagine our children? The poor bastards wouldn't have a chance. They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

You may begin your mockery, now.
chibirhm: (Lemon out!)
SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: A LIST


One- Merlin!
How is the cast of this show so fricken-fracken delightful? It's like it's their personal mission to make sure I grin haplessly at my computer monitor at least once a day. Like yesterday, the full blooper reel came out, which is all stuff we've seen but it's all in one place! I didn't realize until I saw it that 49% is Bradley James' amazing and stupid face, 1% is random shenanigans, and 50% is Anthony Head losing his shit for no discernible reason. I love that man's giggle, seriously. I love it so much that I just went back and listened to every commentary for Merlin he's done, because he spends most commentaries giggling and I love his giggle. LOVE IT.

Also, lest you think I've forgotten my younger fellows, today also brought us pictures of Colin in a dinghy (WARNING: possible spoilers?), which is utterly adorable because he has to fold all his coltish limbs up to fit in what frankly looks like the world's most unstable watercraft and he's beaming like a loon and seriously, Colin, what do you eat in the morning to make you this adorable? And finally, there's a new Bradley interview that absolutely cracks me up every time I re-read it. Basically, the interviewer's pretty enthused about the Arthur/Gwen romance and is trying to get Bradley to be enthused too, and instead he sort of evades and gives a one-line answer. But when asked off-hand about Colin? THREE PARAGRAPHS. Oh, Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley, how I love you and your completely unsubtle biases. I've always strongly believed that Bradley should insert himself into the Merlin creative team, because if he had his way it's pretty clear the episodes would go SWASH SWASH BUCKLE BUCKLE, SWORDS! BIG MONSTERS! GRR! ARG! [POSSIBLY MAKE OUT WITH COLIN AT END BEFORE PREVIEW] and it would be the greatest thing ever. Show writers! Listen to this boy! He's more than just really ridiculously good-looking.

Also! I had yet another fanvid idea. Anyone who makes me an angsty Gwen(/torn between Arthur and Lancelot/aw shit Morgana isn't my friend anymore/my dad is dead and my brother's fucked off/life is hard) video to This Woman's Work wins the entire internets. IT COULD BE SO AMAZING, YOU GUYS.


Two - Hawaii 5-0!
[livejournal.com profile] lamardeuse is a slutty, slutty enabler who should feel bad about herself for getting me into yet another homoerotic cop show that will tease me worse than a Chippendale's dancer and then never follow through with the gay. And yet, I got suckered into it because, well, you say "here is a new television show about two attractive dudes who are not-so-subtly panting after each other" and I am there. So perhaps I am the slut in this situation.

The point is, I was supposed to be helping my co-workers in the Castle livechat and am I doing that now? No. No, I am watching Hawaii 5-0 and flapping my hands because oh my god, you guys, I swear, they really are going to make during sweeps. Really. I have no other logical explanation for what is happening on my television screen. I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. MOST OF THEM ARE GAY FEELINGS, BUT SOME OF THEM ARE ALSO ABOUT HOW GRACE PARK IS STUPIDLY GOOD-LOOKING. And positive portrayals (mostly) of people of color! Non-stale storylines! Cultural exploration in a respectful way! DID I MENTION THAT STEVE AND DANNY ARE LIKE TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM DOING IT?!?!?

ANYWAY. Last night's episode was all sorts of amazing and I have pretty much spent the entire night e-mailing everyone I know and making squeaking noises at [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, because! Because! Danny was so jealous and Steve was so smitten and alksjflksdjf. And did you guys realize that Steve's house is now totally wrecked, plus a crime scene, so Steve can't stay there. Which means, obviously, he needs somewhere more permanent to stay than a hotel. Which means he is TOTALLY CRASHING AT DANNY'S. And Danny's lest we forget, is a tiny apartment with only a pull-out couch to sleep on. Which of course Steve will worm his way into. And then sex will happen. In fact, we will probably open on this very scene next week. I am taking bets. Like, right now.

In conclusion: HAWAII'S FLAG - IT'S A RAINBOW FOR A FUCKING REASON.


Three - Tina Fey exists!
So you all now how Tina Fey is my role model in life, right? Well she just became the third-ever woman to win the Mark Twain Prize for humor, and then she gave a kickass acceptance speech, and basically, I still want to go to there.


SHERLOCK! It just has a lot of youtube videos so I'm cutting this. )

EDIT EDIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EDIT!!!!! GUYS GUYS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I was literally JUST hitting the post button when [livejournal.com profile] puckling IMed me like SHIT STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND GO LOOK AT THE NEW MERLIN PROMO PIC so I did and HOLY FUCK KNIGHTS OF THE TOTALLY HOTASS ROUND TABLE. DO NOT WALK, RUN TO GO SEE IT. LOOK, I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH A LINK:

CLICK FOR OVERWHELMING HOTASSERY.

SERIOUSLY I OPENED THE HI-RES PICTURE AND IT WAS SO SEXY IT DISCONNECTED MY INTERNET FOR A MINUTE THERE.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T EVEN. THIS IS WHY I CAN NEVER, EVER, EVER QUIT YOU, SHOW.
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
What I mean, when I say that, is that I don't really have anything to say but have a lot of links sitting at the top of my whatever that bar is called where there are bookmarks and shit that are going "YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT ME". So. Uh. Here is like a random list of random stuff? IDK. Mostly I'm just tired of these links hanging out, bored, and miss having comments in my inbox.

ONE:
So, I'm still not watching this week's episode of Merlin, but I did go look at the promo photos (which are the first Arthur/Gwen promo photos so fandom was all abuzz) and OH MY GOD. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm trying to take this episode seriously but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not only does this look like a really terrible pulp romance novel (trust me, I know my trashy romance novels, I bring along one on every vacation I take to do dramatic readings of), but oh my god, could the two of them look less enthused to be there? Angel looks either bored or like she's finally realized what a great pillow Bradley's chest makes an is all "yesssss, finally I can take a nap". (It does look like it makes a great pillow, let's not lie. Call me, Angel. Feel free to tell me alllll the details.) Bradley looks like he's trying not to cry and/or vomit. OH SHOW. OH ACTORS. YOU AMUSE ME SO MUCH WITH YOUR EFFORTS. It's kind of adorable! It's like this video, right?



See, the show is like the puppy and the floor is like heteronormitivity, and poor show, can't quite roll over and get its paws on solid ground. Only this time I'm rooting for the puppy to stay on his back forever. So I can rub its gay, gay widdle puppy tummy.


TWO:
So it's not, like, a secret to most people that I am STUPIDLY IN LOVE with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. STUPIDLY in love. I've nursed a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You. (Everyone else was all gaga over Heath Ledger. I had my eyes on the prize. Also, I was fourteen.) But for a while he was all going to college and having unfortunately long hair and so he has only recently re-surfaced into my consciousness, but he has, and with a vengeance.

Basically, if I had to make, like, a baseball card like thing of my ideal man, including looks, he would resemble Joseph Gordon-Levitt to a frankly creepy degree. And this card was created, let's remember, before I knew of him and during the time he was going through his greasy long-haired hiding-in-college thing and out of my consciousness. All the guys I've liked? Resemble him to, again, a creepy degree. If I met him in a coffee shop and he wasn't even famous I would break all my creepiness rules and pretty much throw myself at him bodily. He is that much exactly my type. (I've actually been refraining from ever doing a meme like [livejournal.com profile] ems did of my favorite hot guys because they all look like they could be related. JGL. Colin Morgan. Iker Casillas. Sufjan Stevens. Seriously, look them all up. The only varient is how much muscle mass they have.)

This is so unfair, you guys! Guys in real life aren't as cute as he is! Or as earnestly nerdy and pretentious! And he makes himself so stupidly accessible via his various internet outlets so all those walls you build up normally against liking a celebrity are really hard to keep up when everything seems so possible. (Which, of course, it isn't, because how many way hotter girls are there than me attempting to ensnare him using those very avenues? A LOT.)

So, if Joseph Gordon-Levitt would not mind, I would like for him to stop going to Lakers games. More specifically, Joseph, dearest, stop going to Lakers games looking so fucking cute I want to tackle you to the floor. Cease with the stripey socks that go with my stripey socks (that I am wearing right now! DAMMIT JGL)! Stop wearing horn-rimmed glasses! Which are a giant fucking nerdy pretentious kink of mine! Stop having dimples! Make your neck less nuzzlable! Don't have such gorgeous stubble! STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SMELL LIKE HEAVEN. I am attempting to quash this fantasy I have where we live in Cambridge and own two dogs (pitbull mixes and adopted, natch) and walk to the bakery every Sunday and go to all-organic farmer's markets and listen to records on vinyl and blog about it. YOU ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT. STOP RUINING REAL LIFE DUDES.

God you are so hot.


THREE:
Ever since Sherlock has started re-airing on PBS I've been nosing around Sherlock fandom a lot, because, well, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are one of the greatest archetypal couples of all time. Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is ridiculously endearing. ANYWAY. One of my favorite artists of any fandom I've ever been in is [livejournal.com profile] pollums. Her work is so gorgeous and stylized and amazing I can hardly stand it. I am, like, in physical contorted agony over how jealous I am of her talent. She's been doing sketches every day for November and she did this one of Sherlock and John kissing and oh my shit. OH MY GIDDY MAIDEN AUNT. I can't, you guys. I just can't. I cannot even. I. I give up. On life. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST AND BE REAL. I CLEARLY HAVE DONE VERY KIND THINGS TO DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY IN MY LIFE.

BRB STARING IN ADORATION FOR FOREVER.


FOUR:
I'm kind of stupidly excited by the fact that Jon Stewart is going to be on Rachel Maddow's show tomorrow. Like, looking-forward-to-it-all-week excited. Counting-down-the-hours excited. I may have to wear restrictive clothing to not injure myself from flailing somehow. I might not even wait until midnight and WATCH THE ENTIRE THING AS IT AIRS.

Oh, who am I kidding, that'll fuck with my nightly routine of Maddow at Midnight. BUT OH MY GOD WHO HAS TWO SUPER-LIBERAL THUMBS AND IS EXITED? THIS GIRL.


FIVE:
There was no new Cougar Town or Modern Family tonight because of the Country Music Awards. Aren't those award ceremonies usually on the weekends? FUCKING HILLBILLIES.
chibirhm: (I am going to do something very bold.)
So I saw this meme from [livejournal.com profile] adinfinitum that went something like this:
Think of your favorite celebrity, the one who makes music sound better, movies and television brighter, the one you'd dash to the ends of the earth for if it meant you could save yourself from ever having to go a second without their magic. Then post your favorite 15ish photos of him/her! Your favorites of your favorite!

And god, if you didn't know where this would lead me, I'm ashamed to know you.

JKRAS JKRAS JKRAS JKRAS JKRAS JKRAS. LOTS OF HIM. )
chibirhm: (Default)
So, I decided to take a break from college searching (the master list has been updated) and my Euro summer reading on the wives of Henry VIII and his wives, which can be boiled down from a 600 page book much more amusingly here. But I didn't know what to do with myself. "Self," I said, "what has there been a distinct lack of in our life?" And the answer was total and utter shallowness.

So I decided, since I have so many celebrity boyfriend each for totally different reasons, shouldn't I give you all pictoral references so you can keep track of them all? Wouldn't that be an awesome excuse for shallowness? I thought so.

My harem. )

Well, I feel sufficently shallow.
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