chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

  • Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.

  • THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:


  • Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.

  • Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.

    Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.

  • Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
    and it makes arthur want to stab things
    can cranky gerbils be made nice
    fuzzy little creatures dancing around
    gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
    joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
    you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!

    GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE.

  • HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:


    I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.



Also, a while back [livejournal.com profile] i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.



ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

BEEEEEEEP.
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.

SO IF YOU FIND ME DEAD ANY TIME SOON, I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. FUCKING DIMPLES AND THE THINGS I CAN BE PERSUADED TO DO FOR THEM.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection


TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


MARMOTFAAAAAACE


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.



FOUR: Lots of fic to read! And recommend! I mean, obviously, there is Yuletide, but first, before you read that, DROP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GO READ THIS FIC CLAUDIA WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS ONLY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO HUMANITY PRETTY MUCH EVER. MERLIN/ARTHUR MODERN-DAY FIREFIGHTER AU. THERE IS A DOG. AND MAGIC. AND SEXY SHIRTLESSNESS. AND ARTHUR NAKED FOR A CHARITY CALENDER WITH ONLY HIS FIRE HAT IN A STRATEGIC LOCATION. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
Dear Self,

Do not taunt the trolls, for they are sluggish in the brain and incapable of taking criticism, no matter how valid it may be. Also, next time you have several points to refute an argument, use the ones you know are true instead of the one that sounds the best but you're too lazy to double-check. That was fucking dumb of you.

Love,
Me



Dear last night's Hawaii 5-0,

So, I'm gonna watch you for the ten trillionth time, mostly because this will never stop being hilarious to me:



EX-NAVY SEAL COMMANDER STEVE MCGARRETT: DRINKIN' TEA LIKE A BOSS.

You are so beautiful to me,
Me



Dear Friendslist,

So, how do you feel about an art nouveau picspam? Because I realized as I was creating posts for tumblr that I have like twenty bazillion pieces of art saved that are all ASLKFJSLKFJS and does anyone share my nerdiness? Or is that just me? Would you guys like a picspam? Because I could easily do a picspam of that and/or Japanese woodcuts. I don't really have anything coherent or witty to say about them, I'd just post a bunch of different links to artists and then be all !!!!!!!!!!! a lot.

BUT SERIOUSLY:



THIS SHIT IS DOPE.

Nerdily,
Me



Dear Dishes,

I really don't want to do you.

No love,
Me
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