chibirhm: (Are you a fan of delicious flavor?)
Blergh. I have been feeling a little under the weather and consequently not had the best of weeks, which is why I propose we ignore than and instead focus on SIX THINGS THAT MAKE ME REALLY SUPER HAPPY:

ONE: [livejournal.com profile] puckling sent me a link to this game called Entanglement which I am ALL SORTS OF OBSESSED WITH and seriously, best timesuck ever. It took me less than 24 hours of playing to start screencapping when I did well and e-mailing her with attachments entitled HAHASUCKIT.jpg. Because I am a mature human being.

TWO: There is a new mouser at 10 Downing! If you understand why I find this so exciting, congrats, chances are you are in the Merlin fandom. If you do not understand, it's a long, fic-related story, but it can also be summed up by CAT IN ENGLAND HOLDS GOVERNMENT POSITION: COUNTRY REMAINS AWESOME IF SLIGHTLY STRANGE AND INBRED.

THREE: Not only is Colin Morgan the prettiest tortured boy in the world, but alksjdflksdj this account of him dealing with autograph scalpers. BE MORE ADORABLE, MY DARLING, I DARE YOU.

FOUR: Speaking of things I want from England, I am in desperate need of owning this commemorative William & Kate condoms for reasons of sheer hilarity, but I cannot figure out how to explain the credit card charge to my mother. BUT I NEED THEM. AUGH CONUNDRUMS.

Though seriously, the website is pretty lulzy enough all on its own.

FIVE: It's really a good thing I'm not famous and going to the Oscars, because now I'm all torn because it's fashion week again and jeebus cripes, but I do love Monique Lhuillier collection. Especially the dress pictured on the bottom left. SO MANY GREEK-INSPIRED DRESSES I WANT TO WEAR, SO LITTLE TIME.

SIX: MY GERBILS ARE SUPER-CUTE. That's the part that makes me happy. The part that makes me unhappy is that apparently one of you has been giving Gusgus secret ninja training skills, because he managed to sneak out of the cage even when I was watching, without my knowledge. I kept thinking I heard him, but I'd been up all night fretting over one thing or another and I was exhausted,so I figured it was just me being paranoid again when I swore I heard his paws, since I thought I had seen him in the cage, and so I laid down for an hour and a half nap. Only when I woke up, I still thought I heard him, so I checked the cage again and surprise! It wasn't Gus, it was a shadow. Gus had found the way to crawl inside the couch through the hole in the back and had to be lured out by avocado. He's now on strict probation and only allowed couch runs in shot bursts under my extreme supervision, which is making him a little cranky. BUT THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING YOUR MAMA WORRY, GUSGUS. SUCK IT UP.

It does, however, make for an awesome story in retrospect.
chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

  • Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.

  • THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:


  • Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.

  • Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.

    Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.

  • Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
    and it makes arthur want to stab things
    can cranky gerbils be made nice
    fuzzy little creatures dancing around
    gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
    joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
    you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!

    GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE.

  • HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:


    I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.



Also, a while back [livejournal.com profile] i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.



ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

BEEEEEEEP.
chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)


THINGS WE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD OF MY APPARENT INABILITY TO UPDATE MY LIVEJOURNAL: OOH, COLIN MORGAN. OOOOOOH. I've told you guys about my deep and abiding obsession I have with Colin's profile, right, and how I believe that it is the most perfect profile in the universe, from which all perfect profiles are thus derived? In case I haven't, those are my feelings. OOH COLIN MORGAN. I WOULD FEEL SWOONY AND FAINT AROUND YOU, BUT THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Guys, I wish I had, like, a legitimate and good reason why I can't seem to post a lot lately. I wish I had a secret project or was a secret government agent. I wish I had gotten a new puppy/unicorn/whatever. The truth is I've been busy with really boring stuff. Like yesterday I had a meeting in Harvard Square in the morning and then I napped the afternoon away because I'm not used to having to be conscious in the morning. The day before that, I was busy shoveling two feet of snow. And then there have been a bunch of days where it's like wrote an article! Spent all day making phone calls! I've been posting on tumblr a lot because you don't really have to say anything on tumblr and it's v. v. convenient. Tumblr is also a place where it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged to blather for roughly one paragraph about eighteen times a day and no one is like kasjflkjdsfl STOP SPAMMING ME. So here are some things that, were it socially acceptable on Livejournal to spam you with four-sentence updates, I would have one so, as illustrated by .gifs:

LONG WORDY LIST GOES HERE. )
chibirhm: (Happiness is a warm puppy.)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I AM A HO-HO-HORRIBLE MOTHER.


I should, for legal reasons, state that no gerbils were forced to endure actual Santa hats, I just Photoshopped them on because I like to pretend I'm funny. Also, because I'm home alone and mildly bored - my family went to a friends' house for Christmas Eve, but I had just gotten up from a nap and needed to shower and didn't feel like rushing and didn't feel like being out two nights in a row with lots of loud people and too much food, so I stayed home. Which I'm sure in the long run I'll like the outcome of more, but in the short-term I am super bored.

Anways, good Yuletide wishes upon all ye who celebrate such things, and if you either a) don't or b) are hiding from people and skulking around the internet, so am I! We should chat.

Yeah, that's really all I've got to say.
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:



WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.
chibirhm: (Je suis artiste.)
So a few of you shamelessly encouraged me to discuss Art Nouveau. I don't think you guys even knew what you were getting into. I love Art Nouveau. It's quite easily the single greatest influence on my art and general aesthetic... ever. And because I'm me, I couldn't just be like OH HERE ARE SOME PRETTY PICTURES. No. This is a ~learning moment~. And by moment, I mean, "this took me a fucking week and a half to do". SO YOU BETTER APPRECIATE IT. ALSO WTF THIS WAS SO TIRING I AM NEVER DOING THIS EVER AGAIN.

I should disclaim, before I start, that I am not an art historian. I have never taken an Art History class in my life. (Or, well, I tried a class once to see if I'd sign up, but dropped it pretty quickly after falling asleep in ten minutes flat, which is a new record, especially since I wasn't even tired.) Everything I know about this stuff I learned from days upon days of reading Wikipedia and educational websites. Cause that's how I roll/spend my leisure hours. Yup. I'm awesome.

Art Nouveau 101 )
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
What I mean, when I say that, is that I don't really have anything to say but have a lot of links sitting at the top of my whatever that bar is called where there are bookmarks and shit that are going "YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT ME". So. Uh. Here is like a random list of random stuff? IDK. Mostly I'm just tired of these links hanging out, bored, and miss having comments in my inbox.

ONE:
So, I'm still not watching this week's episode of Merlin, but I did go look at the promo photos (which are the first Arthur/Gwen promo photos so fandom was all abuzz) and OH MY GOD. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm trying to take this episode seriously but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not only does this look like a really terrible pulp romance novel (trust me, I know my trashy romance novels, I bring along one on every vacation I take to do dramatic readings of), but oh my god, could the two of them look less enthused to be there? Angel looks either bored or like she's finally realized what a great pillow Bradley's chest makes an is all "yesssss, finally I can take a nap". (It does look like it makes a great pillow, let's not lie. Call me, Angel. Feel free to tell me alllll the details.) Bradley looks like he's trying not to cry and/or vomit. OH SHOW. OH ACTORS. YOU AMUSE ME SO MUCH WITH YOUR EFFORTS. It's kind of adorable! It's like this video, right?



See, the show is like the puppy and the floor is like heteronormitivity, and poor show, can't quite roll over and get its paws on solid ground. Only this time I'm rooting for the puppy to stay on his back forever. So I can rub its gay, gay widdle puppy tummy.


TWO:
So it's not, like, a secret to most people that I am STUPIDLY IN LOVE with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. STUPIDLY in love. I've nursed a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You. (Everyone else was all gaga over Heath Ledger. I had my eyes on the prize. Also, I was fourteen.) But for a while he was all going to college and having unfortunately long hair and so he has only recently re-surfaced into my consciousness, but he has, and with a vengeance.

Basically, if I had to make, like, a baseball card like thing of my ideal man, including looks, he would resemble Joseph Gordon-Levitt to a frankly creepy degree. And this card was created, let's remember, before I knew of him and during the time he was going through his greasy long-haired hiding-in-college thing and out of my consciousness. All the guys I've liked? Resemble him to, again, a creepy degree. If I met him in a coffee shop and he wasn't even famous I would break all my creepiness rules and pretty much throw myself at him bodily. He is that much exactly my type. (I've actually been refraining from ever doing a meme like [livejournal.com profile] ems did of my favorite hot guys because they all look like they could be related. JGL. Colin Morgan. Iker Casillas. Sufjan Stevens. Seriously, look them all up. The only varient is how much muscle mass they have.)

This is so unfair, you guys! Guys in real life aren't as cute as he is! Or as earnestly nerdy and pretentious! And he makes himself so stupidly accessible via his various internet outlets so all those walls you build up normally against liking a celebrity are really hard to keep up when everything seems so possible. (Which, of course, it isn't, because how many way hotter girls are there than me attempting to ensnare him using those very avenues? A LOT.)

So, if Joseph Gordon-Levitt would not mind, I would like for him to stop going to Lakers games. More specifically, Joseph, dearest, stop going to Lakers games looking so fucking cute I want to tackle you to the floor. Cease with the stripey socks that go with my stripey socks (that I am wearing right now! DAMMIT JGL)! Stop wearing horn-rimmed glasses! Which are a giant fucking nerdy pretentious kink of mine! Stop having dimples! Make your neck less nuzzlable! Don't have such gorgeous stubble! STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SMELL LIKE HEAVEN. I am attempting to quash this fantasy I have where we live in Cambridge and own two dogs (pitbull mixes and adopted, natch) and walk to the bakery every Sunday and go to all-organic farmer's markets and listen to records on vinyl and blog about it. YOU ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT. STOP RUINING REAL LIFE DUDES.

God you are so hot.


THREE:
Ever since Sherlock has started re-airing on PBS I've been nosing around Sherlock fandom a lot, because, well, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are one of the greatest archetypal couples of all time. Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is ridiculously endearing. ANYWAY. One of my favorite artists of any fandom I've ever been in is [livejournal.com profile] pollums. Her work is so gorgeous and stylized and amazing I can hardly stand it. I am, like, in physical contorted agony over how jealous I am of her talent. She's been doing sketches every day for November and she did this one of Sherlock and John kissing and oh my shit. OH MY GIDDY MAIDEN AUNT. I can't, you guys. I just can't. I cannot even. I. I give up. On life. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST AND BE REAL. I CLEARLY HAVE DONE VERY KIND THINGS TO DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY IN MY LIFE.

BRB STARING IN ADORATION FOR FOREVER.


FOUR:
I'm kind of stupidly excited by the fact that Jon Stewart is going to be on Rachel Maddow's show tomorrow. Like, looking-forward-to-it-all-week excited. Counting-down-the-hours excited. I may have to wear restrictive clothing to not injure myself from flailing somehow. I might not even wait until midnight and WATCH THE ENTIRE THING AS IT AIRS.

Oh, who am I kidding, that'll fuck with my nightly routine of Maddow at Midnight. BUT OH MY GOD WHO HAS TWO SUPER-LIBERAL THUMBS AND IS EXITED? THIS GIRL.


FIVE:
There was no new Cougar Town or Modern Family tonight because of the Country Music Awards. Aren't those award ceremonies usually on the weekends? FUCKING HILLBILLIES.
chibirhm: (I suppose you find this amusing.)
ALRIGHT, FRIENDSLIST! IT IS TIME TO FESS UP. WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS FOR ME?



Okay, I know it wasn't directly for me, I found it when trawling tumblr for gifs (SO MANY HOMG! I now think I have a Liz Lemon gif to apply to every situation, which is totally necessary as Liz Lemon is my personal hero/rolemodel in life) and I found this. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON. It's like whoever made this has been GChatting with me, because I've had a long-held belief that nothing cannot be made more adorable with a monocle. (This is actually a philosophical pillar of my world view, I am not even lying.) Before Tess died it was my LIFE GOAL to figure out how to get her to wear a monocle. I now extend this hope to any future gerbils I have. One day, I will get a gerbil to wear a monocle, and I will take a picture, and that picture will cause world peace.

Speaking of gerbils, I've been trying to put my feelers out for available litters. I miss Tess horribly, but more than Tess I miss having a gerbil. I miss the tiny paws and the little faces and the squeaks and the sound of chomping on cardboard. I'm pretty sure I could be emotionally ready for a new pair in a week or two, but I'd ideally like to get a new pair around the holidays, at the latest. I asked the breeder I've used before and who I would call with any questions, but while she has foster gerbils I can adopt, she doesn't have any pups or baby gerbils on the way. I'm really against the idea of me, personally, adopting already full-grown gerbils. I get so very attached and I need them to be around as long as possible, because it's too damn traumatic otherwise. And apparently, her breeding pairs are just not feeling the romantic jive lately, because she says they're perfectly happy and healthy, just not getting down. She recommended me to two other breeders in the area, and put a special note that one had just had a litter, but when I e-mailed that breeder she said "she wasn't breeding anymore", whatever that means - I'm guessing she's trying to expand her business and isn't giving away the gerbils so she can breed them, but still, she'd put the litter up on her website, which I just think is totally unfair and mocking, personally. I still have one more breeder to contact, which is a primarily chichilla breeder who I think only fosters gerbils, but I'm afraid to e-mail him and have him tell me no, because then I know for certain instead of just mostly knowing that I'll have to wait a while for new babies.

So I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] thisissirius about my dilemma last night at, like, 3:30 AM, because I've been having insomnia. I was telling her about how I'd been considering other rodent-type pets, actually, because gerbils are so short-lived, and I'd briefly looked into chinchillas, but they live on average 15 years. Most live into their twenties. And their care is extremely involved. If I wanted a pet that complicated, I'd get a dog. Plus I'd, like, enjoy dating someone at some point in the next 15-20 years, and it's easier and more socially acceptable to be like "I have a co-dependent relationship with my dog" rather than "I have a co-dependent relationship with a chinchilla". And then Siri was like OMG THIS IS WHAT IS KEEPING COLIN AND BRADLEY APART! COLIN IS AFRAID TO INTRODUCE HIM TO HIS CHINCHILLA!" Which I thought, clearly, could only result in the following exchange:
Colin: (pulls away from kissing, breathing heavily) Bradley, no, stop. I need to... I haven't... I think I should introduce you to Trevor, my chinchilla.
Bradley: Yeah you should.

(Several weeks later)

Colin: And this is Trevor.
Trevor: (chitters)
Bradley: Wait, this wasn't a euphemism?
Trevor: (scrubs face disapprovingly)

So while Siri was contemplating a meet-the-chinchilla scenario, I was pondering on the fact that Colin Morgan, in addition to being a kitten, a baby deer, Jigglypuff, and a host of other things, would also clearly be, were he a rodent, a chinchilla. I mean, look at them:



Chinchillas are extremely intelligent little creatures. They are beyond fussy when it comes to temperature and especially diet. They're nearly extinct out of captivity because they were almost hunted to extinction for their fur, which is extremely prized for how luxurious and soft it is. They're industrious and energetic, friendly, and kind of quirky. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE? Just imagine that little face going EHM, EHM, I THINK I WOULD LIKE SOME KYECK, AND THEN PERHAPS WE CAN EXPLORE SOME KYEVS. EHM. YEAH.

...and this is why, should you ever see me awake and online at four in the morning, make me go to bed.

And now I'm going to go do some dishes, and by "dishes" I mean "carve my pumpkin", and by "carve my pumpkin" I mean "Watch the Rally to Restore Sanity and pretend I'm getting shit done, which I'm not".
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
Happy Sunday morning, everyone! Were you using that spot next to you? No? Good, because here is my brain, and I'm going to dump it RIIIIIGHT there.

MY IMPORTANT THOUGHTS ON MUSIC AND FANFICTION

So I totally hated Ellie Goulding based on Starry-Eyed and was like WHATEVER, but then I heard this song in some fanvid that honesty I don't even remember anymore:



J'ADORE. It's such a perfect Arthur/Eames song (or really any ship in Inception, let's not lie) and goes with a fic idea I've been wanting to write for them, but I'm sort of flailing on how to even start, because like all my ideas it's all ~epic relationship exploration~ instead of just a nice, 5K bit of fluff or porn like everyone probably would prefer. Also, I have this random idea that I also want to have a companion piece from Yusuf's point of view, which would require a LOT of research because my knowledge of chemistry/Kenya/Yusuf's ethnicity (he's Muslim, I think? I think someone referred to him as "Desi"? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, GUYS. I mean, I know there are Muslims in that part of Africa because of trade and I paid attention in ninth grade history, but therein ends my knowledge) is pretty nil. Also I really want to finish that Merlin/Inception mashup I started for [livejournal.com profile] cherrybina's necking meme ages ago, only it seems it's going to have zero necking in it, because I defy authority or some shit. Also, it went and decided it needed to develop a plot, but I have no fucking clue what the plot is supposed to be. AUGH MY LIFE.

Also, I feel sort of bad because so many people are like OH NO PEOPLE ARE LEAVING MERLIN FOR INCEPTION and blah blah JEALOUSY. And honestly, I'm not. I've also got a Sherlock fic I outlined before realizing there simply was not enough source material in three episodes to write it. It'll probably get filled in once they actually make more episodes. I actually do have a lot of ideas for Merlin fic, but I've found I hate writing during the season, because inevitably the next episode will air and totally ruin everything I've written and it DRIVES ME CRAZY. I'd prefer not to finish anything until the season is over, thank you, and instead twiddle my thumbs finishing Inception fics because new canon won't keep being added for the sole purpose of MAKING ME CRY.

In conclusion, yesterday [livejournal.com profile] franticsga noticed that Merlin and Ariadne are sartorial soulmates, and then I made some demands, and now I really want them filled. I'm maybe a little sad no one filled my Silly Bands prompt.

BLAH BLAH MORE THOUGHTS. Including but not limited to - porn, Bradley James as a superhero, Katy Perry's boobs, my thoughts on parenting, and more! Oh, wheeee. )
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