chibirhm: (Another day in the Bartlett White House.)
Ugh, time to kill until work. I should be writing this short essay that I've been working on that actually has some promise, except I'm too bored to write. Have I mentioned Too Bored To Write feeling before? BECAUSE IT IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. SO! I am now going to share with you the mishmash of links I have acquired, and you're going to entertain me in my comments section, and you will enjoy it, goddamn.

Excellent spam! Includes pretty dresses, memes, and a kitten and a puppy in love with each other. )
chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

SPAMMITY SPAM SPAM. )
chibirhm: (Thumbs up for America!)
Urgh, the first week back to real life after the holidays, why must you suck so hard and be so boring? I keep meaning to update, I do, but by time I'm finished with my to-do list for the day it's late and I'm tired and I'm like "aw, fuck it". It's been a long week of cleaning this and moving that there and calling that doctor and re-scheduling that appointment and trying to sign up for this class only to realize that's the one night I can't go so attempting to get permission to take this other class blah blah telephone calls blah blah blah. There's no way even I, the master of making ordinary shit sound fake-exciting, can make that fake-exciting.

The most exciting stuff to happen to me are the four following things:

ONE - I have been having cracktacular fandom mashup dreams. I don't remember most of them, I just remember that they were fandom-y. But the one I do remember was last night's, which started with me and JGL somewhere where he was explaining what the shit his now second-to-last tweet meant. (He wrote "THE TREE OF LIFE", allcaps included, which I spent a bunch of time puzzling over. Did he see a trailer and therefore was excited for the upcoming film? Did he get drunk on Manaschevitz and have a reunion with old Hebrew School buddies and they were drunkenly singing that horrible song that's been stuck in my head ever since? (IT IS A TREE OF LIFE TO THEM THAT HOLD FAST TO IT AND ALL OF ITS SUPPORTERS ARE [clap] HAP-PY! Sing with me, fellow Jews. I can't have gone to the only Hebrew School on the planet that inflicted that monstrosity upon their students.) Was he just drunk and putting together random words because he could? I wish I could remember my dream, because I just have so many questions, real!Joe.)

Then somehow I was in this game with BBC!John and Sherlock, and it was like an escape the room game (been playing WAY too many of those) but had the same rules as the dreams in Inception. But we couldn't kill ourselves because it would compromise the investigation. Only I kept ruining that by accident and Sherlock was mad and eventually somehow this brought John and Sherlock together enough to admit their feelings and make out a lot. Which was cute for a few seconds, but then got awkward, so I went to walk around, only to find Ryan Murphy had left me a spray-painted graffiti note saying he'd come across my writing on the internet, loved it, and wanted me to move out to LA and start writing Glee with him. And then I woke up, and Dearest by Buddy Holly was stuck in my head.

Qu'est-ce que le quoi?

There are two types of dreams, in my experience, the ones where your subconscious tells you something meaningful and the ones where it's just throwing all the leftover shit together for the day and hoping you just roll with it. This week I am clearly taking a hefty sample of column B.

TWO - So, Merlin fandom, this is coming out in March:



If I don't see every variety and pairing of Sim getting it on and Sim babies, I'm gonna be disappointed in you, is all I'm saying.

THREE - Two nights ago I stayed up until 5 AM attempting to explain American politics to [livejournal.com profile] alexi_lupin and [livejournal.com profile] mcgooglykins, which, as always, just boils down to me explaining the whole American dream/bootstraps phenomenon. And when I explain that, I have never met a non-American who didn't go that is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Because it is. And it sort of made me like, aw, America, why are you such a shitty country? Why do I still love you more than anything?

But then I was browsing the Best of Wikipedia archives to see if I came across anything cool, and I found the perfect example of why America is my favorite. It's because we have a Supreme Court case dedicated entirely to arguing if tomatoes legally count as a fruit or vegetable.

Is there any other country in the universe that would be that wholly ridiculous? No! (Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.) Only in America would we fight the Supreme Court for the right to declare tomatoes a vegetable because that's how they're used, and besides, it would get us out of that pesky tariff.

OH CRAZY COUNTRY OF MINE, NEVER STOP BEING ADORABLE.

FOUR - for no reason I can discern, my bosses bought and sent me S2 of Merlin. Was it for my birthday? An addition to my Christmas bonus? They neither said when I asked nor left a note/return address with a name in it, which worried me because I forgot what town they live in an was like OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS THAT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, IS THIS DVD TRAPPED?!?!? Thank Jesus for reverse address check-up, or I'd have been full-on Admiral Ackbar-ing it for way, way longer. Also, thank God for the best bosses ever. Seriously, the entire disc set? AW YOU GUYS. THIS MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF SALARY.

So yeah, homes. Crazy week! Because that's how I roll.
chibirhm: (What would you do if I sang out a tune?)
A few quick things!

ONE: My laptop's fan is misaligned again and keeps hitting something and sparking, unless I keep it on a totally flat surface and do not move it. Which happened around this time last year, too. I could send it in to Lenovo to get it fixed, but the last time I did that it took them nearly two weeks to do, which is totally unacceptable. I can't live without my laptop for two weeks! And the thing is, you can track your comptuer's progress online, it took them a day to fix it, most of those two weeks were "processing and shipping". Well fuck that shit. I could drive to the hardware-fixing headquarters in Indiana, watch them fix my baby, and get it back sooner if I did the shipping myself, by carrying it on my person. Does anyone know of a place that would do hardware fixes I could just drive it to and get it back at the end of the afternoon? Like, a chain? Or somewhere in the Boston area? This is the one area I will concede Macs are superior. They drive me crazy and I hate everything about them, but damn if that genius bar in every mall isn't convenient and efficient.

TWO: Last night we had leftover lentil soup so I left some lentils for Gus, but when I looked in the cage a little later, Charlie was eating one! HURRAH, CHARLIE. YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE GERBIL.

THREE: Everyone who didn't link me to the Ooh Commander McGarrett comic is fired from life. I will never tire of fandom adaptations of this comic. Never!

FOUR: So, this year's United States of Pop mashup came out:



For those of you who missed the extreme privilege of this last year, this is basically a guy who takes the top 25 pop hits of the year (as determined by Billboard) and mashes them all together into one SUPER SONG.

Now, the thing is, I'm a dork. I can't just listen to this song, I have to start thinking about it. And I was thinking, these things are actually a kind of interesting from an intellectual point of view. I mean if you think about why people listen to music, it's not just because it's catchy, it often has to do with it having some sort of deeper meaning for them. I don't think it's exactly a disputed fact that the arts are reflective of the state of the society it comes from. So what if I compared it to last year's? Because there are definite trends that changed visually in the music videos, and in the lyrics, and in the whole damn tone of the thing. It's like a mini-zeitgeist! It could be so cool!

On the other hand, it's really super pretentious. It is like I am purposefully peeing on the mindless pop parade. I was asking [livejournal.com profile] puckling about it and she was like "you used the word 'zeitgeist'. If you need to use the word 'zeitgeist' to explain your concept, it's pretentious."

But... I kind of want to be pretentious! I don't know, is this interesting to anyone else but me? PLEASE ANSWER THIS POLL AND TELL ME.

[Poll #1662070]

FIVE: I entirely blame [livejournal.com profile] cherrybina for this, but I am obsessed with Google Analytics. I installed it on this LJ and it's kind of the greatest thing ever. I'm fond of the fact that aside from searching for my username, people find me most often by googling "bradley and colin in love". Which I did, and I'm the second result. With a lot of sub-results. NOT GOING TO LIE, THIS IS KIND OF AWESOME.

But I think my favorite part of doodling around with Google Analytics is the map overlay. I have people visit this site from so many cool places. Now I know where a lot of my LJ friends are from, so I can look at a dot and be like "okay, that's so and so", but some of the places are really surprising. Like, did you know I'm popular in Glasgow? I've gotten sixteen hits from Glasgow. Glasgow! Who the frack is in Glasgow? Apparently someone(s) who thinks I'm awesome, that's who. Another place I'm randomly popular is in Tampere, Finland. At first I thought that must have been [livejournal.com profile] whisperwords from when she went to visit her family there, but no, it was after she got back that someone there started visiting my site once a day. Do you see what I mean by cool? SO COOL. Though I think the coolest is that I have two people who have returned and so clearly they're reading, who are from Calcutta, India. India! THIS IS SO INDESCRIBABLY BOSS.

My only problem with Google Analytics is that I don't know how to filter out my own IP. Is there a way to do that? Because between answering comments and reading my friendslist, I am skewing the data like crazy. I am a quarter of my own hits, for serious. Which makes sense, but I don't care about how much time I spend at my own journal (answer: TOO MUCH, CLEARLY). HELP, SAVVY PEOPLE?
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.

SO IF YOU FIND ME DEAD ANY TIME SOON, I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. FUCKING DIMPLES AND THE THINGS I CAN BE PERSUADED TO DO FOR THEM.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection


TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


MARMOTFAAAAAACE


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.



FOUR: Lots of fic to read! And recommend! I mean, obviously, there is Yuletide, but first, before you read that, DROP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GO READ THIS FIC CLAUDIA WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS ONLY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO HUMANITY PRETTY MUCH EVER. MERLIN/ARTHUR MODERN-DAY FIREFIGHTER AU. THERE IS A DOG. AND MAGIC. AND SEXY SHIRTLESSNESS. AND ARTHUR NAKED FOR A CHARITY CALENDER WITH ONLY HIS FIRE HAT IN A STRATEGIC LOCATION. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (Happiness is a warm puppy.)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I AM A HO-HO-HORRIBLE MOTHER.


I should, for legal reasons, state that no gerbils were forced to endure actual Santa hats, I just Photoshopped them on because I like to pretend I'm funny. Also, because I'm home alone and mildly bored - my family went to a friends' house for Christmas Eve, but I had just gotten up from a nap and needed to shower and didn't feel like rushing and didn't feel like being out two nights in a row with lots of loud people and too much food, so I stayed home. Which I'm sure in the long run I'll like the outcome of more, but in the short-term I am super bored.

Anways, good Yuletide wishes upon all ye who celebrate such things, and if you either a) don't or b) are hiding from people and skulking around the internet, so am I! We should chat.

Yeah, that's really all I've got to say.
chibirhm: (It's two tickets to that thing you love!)
After much twatwaffling, I can now say officially, HEY, FRIENDS WHOSE ADDRESSES I STOLE, I PROMISE IT WAS NOT FOR NEFARIOUS REASONS. I REALLY AM SENDING YOU STUFF FOR THE HOLIDAYS. BEHOLD!



Look! That's me! With the cards! Let's ignore the fact that I look, like, five years old! Instead, let us discuss how the nice woman helping me was named Gimme, which is like the coolest name ever, no joke.

Anyway, I'm bored, which is a sadly common occurrence around the holidays because shows stop airing, which, wtf, I am not okay with this. Like, it's a Monday and there's no new Hawaii 5-0? WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT OF IT BEING A MONDAY?

So while I'm bored and staring at my Kono-centric Steve/Danny fic pretending I'm writing it, you should go over and write something for the SCREW YOU, CANON! FEST for Merlin. Also, tell me about your lives! How are you? What are you doing? PLEASE AT LEAST PRETEND YOU HAVE INTERESTING LIVES FOR MY SAKE.
chibirhm: (I like inside better.)
Man, you know what sucks? Friday nights. I'm sitting at home, chilling, and there's no one online to chill with me. My parents went out to dinner (I was welcome to come, but I have a long-held phobia of public eateries, it's a long story) and my sister and her boyfriend went out to dinner somewhere else (wasn't invited to that one), so it's just me and the pup on the couch. Which I enjoy, don't get me wrong, but the pup is not much in the way of conversation. Her main method of communication is pawing at my laptop when I start using my hands on that instead of their true purpose, ie: scratching her. She is feeling very needy and extra adorable tonight.

Le sigh. This is how I will end up with carpal tunnel.

Anyway, this is a general plea for someone to amuse me while I color in the thing I drew for my holiday cards. This is also a chance to wish a very happy Hannukah to my fellow Jews. And for everyone, I would like to bequeath unto you the great gift my sister bequeathed unto me, which was bequeathed unto us by the glorious Tube of Yous.



I continue to believe that Jews have more fun being Jewish than any other religion has being themselves. Or at least, we seem to record it and put it on Youtube more effectively.

EDIT: So I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] puckling about my numerous awesome/terrible Merlin fanvid ideas, one of which is how clearly there needs to be a Merlin/Arthur fanvid to Hello by Lionel Richie. And she was the second person, when I told this idea to, who not only didn't know the song, but had never seen the music video. Guys, this is distressing. This music video is like Total Eclipse of the Heart levels of hilarious eighties awfulness. So I am going to educate you. WATCH THIS:



SYNOPSIS: Lionel Richie is a creepy creepy creepy theater teacher lusting after a blind student, who he follows around school and then to her house just outside her bedroom wailing at her about how much he's dreamed about kissing her lips and wondering if she's looking for him. (GET IT? BECAUSE SHE'S BLIND?!!?) An then there's this ~commotion~ and everyone's like "OH YOU'VE GOT TO GO TO THE ART CLASSROOM AND SEE THIS" so he goes and she's created this really awful clay bust of him that looks like it's just waiting to become a chia pet and she's all "oh, I couldn't wait for you to see! This is how I've always pictured you!" and it kinda looks like him in a really weird way which is supposed to be meaningful because, you know, she's blind, and then they clearly have been ~looking for each other~.

IT IS EXACTLY AS AWFUL AS IT SOUNDS. Only ten times more hilarious to watch because it's all emotional and eighties and everyone has curly mullets.
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
So as requested, I'm working on an Art Nouveau spam. It'll probably be up on Friday because a) I have to edit the pictures so they're all the same size and not RIDICULOUSLY HUGE and the ones in series are all put together. Plus, it's taking an annoyingly long time to find artists. You would think they'd all be listed on Wikipedia, but no. I have some serious complaints about the Wikipedia article. Half the artists they link to are so obscure there's only a sentence written about them, and a good deal of them aren't Art Nouveau at all but Art Deco. A bunch are just... I don't even know what, but there is nothing Art Nouveau-y about them. Like Klimt. Why is Klimt listed as being Art Nouveau when he clearly is not? SHAPE UP WIKIPEDIA.

/PRETENTIOUS

Anyway, while I was taking a break and nosing around tumblr, like I do, I came across this picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt:



NONE OF YOU THOUGHT TO ALERT ME TO THE EXISTENCE OF THIS PICTURE? NO ONE AT ALL? YOU ARE ALL FIRED. FIRED.

...aaaaaand that's really all. This entry is pretty much an excuse to drool over the above picture and also a shameless request for people to play with me. Comment party? Anyone want to talk about how great Raising Hope was last night? Slash how hard they want to ship Jimmy/Sabrina with me? Or how awesome that chick from Garfunkel and Oates is in it? Want me to convince you to watch Hawaii 5-0 so I have someone to keyboard mash to in realtime? Anybody at all? Beuller?
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
Dear Self,

Do not taunt the trolls, for they are sluggish in the brain and incapable of taking criticism, no matter how valid it may be. Also, next time you have several points to refute an argument, use the ones you know are true instead of the one that sounds the best but you're too lazy to double-check. That was fucking dumb of you.

Love,
Me



Dear last night's Hawaii 5-0,

So, I'm gonna watch you for the ten trillionth time, mostly because this will never stop being hilarious to me:



EX-NAVY SEAL COMMANDER STEVE MCGARRETT: DRINKIN' TEA LIKE A BOSS.

You are so beautiful to me,
Me



Dear Friendslist,

So, how do you feel about an art nouveau picspam? Because I realized as I was creating posts for tumblr that I have like twenty bazillion pieces of art saved that are all ASLKFJSLKFJS and does anyone share my nerdiness? Or is that just me? Would you guys like a picspam? Because I could easily do a picspam of that and/or Japanese woodcuts. I don't really have anything coherent or witty to say about them, I'd just post a bunch of different links to artists and then be all !!!!!!!!!!! a lot.

BUT SERIOUSLY:



THIS SHIT IS DOPE.

Nerdily,
Me



Dear Dishes,

I really don't want to do you.

No love,
Me
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Because my google reader is getting too full of tumblrs, and because everyone seems to have one and I'm tired of trying to remember who goes with what, and because I'd like a place online where I can save any pretty pictures to come back to later, I got a tumblr. I don't ever plan on using it to write actual words in, but a functioning online scrapbook would be nice. So, if you'd like to find me on tumblr I am here:

chibirhm @ tumblr


Now! I need you guys to tell me who you are so I can follow you (you're free to follow me even though I'll be hella boring), and most especially, tell me the good fandom tumblrs. My interests list in my profile pretty much covers everything I like.

Also, in case you don't care about tumblr, here is something for you:



HAWAII 5-0: BECAUSE CLEARLY, THIS SHOW SITS DOWN EVERY WEEK AND ASKS ITSELF, "HOW CAN WE GET GAYER?!?! I KNOW, WE'LL HAVE STEVE TALKING TO DANNY'S EX ABOUT HOW TO HANDLE HIS FEEEEEELINGS".
chibirhm: (Sweet turning sour and untouchable.)
I'm not sure what the "that" is, but I just felt like quoting Meatloaf because, really, is there a bad time to quote Meatloaf?

Anyway, I was bored this morning and I'm still super cranky over the lack of quest (WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK, BEEB), so I decided that instead of cleaning my room, I was going to transcribe the best bits of just uploaded commentaries. And by commentaries, I just mean the Bradley and Katie one, because the Richard and Angel one was boring as all hell. Honestly, I feel like they got the short end of the stick. Really? THAT episode? The only way that anyone could have anything to say about that episode is if one of them went "and this is the scene where I found Bradley and Colin making out behind the set..." or something. I make no claims to the absolute word-for-word accuracy of these quotes, since Katie and Bradley both talk over each other and I didn't write in every time they interrupted the other just to go "yeah" or something, but I kept it as close as possible. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, THAT'S WHY.


In which Bradley and Katie sound remarkably like punchy siblings stuck in the car together for too many hours. )

OH, THEM.
chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
You know what I hate? That part of Saturday that is pre-Merlin. I HATE IT. I'm just sitting around drumming my fingers, trying not to do anything so I won't be too tired to do my review (I have made this mistake before, which leads to sending in the column at 2 AM and lots of mental breakdowns and tears. I AM NOT GOOD UNDER PRESSURE), and NO ONE IS EVER ONLINE TO DO STUFF. It's like you people have... lives, or something. Or all you need to watch Merlin is an internet connection and a free hour. HOW QUAINT YOU ALL ARE. I have tried streaming to get a head start, but I can't get the sound to work for me, which really defeats the purpose.

Also, because I get a lot of people being all OMG YOUR JOB IS SO GREAT I LOVE AND WANT YOUR JOB HOW DO I GET YOUR JOB - you do not want my job, and there is a reason you do not want my job, and it doesn't just have to do with getting paid almost nothing. I, in addition to writing about Merlin, write about Bones. This week on Bones, Booth spent a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who I don't like, mostly because the actress is really awful. She's completely wooden, she looks like she could be his daughter, and she talks like her mouth is full of oatmeal. And so, I wrote a review to that effect. Now, in all the time I've been reviewing Bones, I have never been critical of the plot mechanisms that keep Booth and Brennan apart - quite the opposite, in fact. And in the almost three years I've been doing my job, I have never criticized someone's acting before. And yet, ever since I posted my article, I hav had my inbox constantly pinging with badly-spelled comments along the lines of "OMG YOU BOOTH/BRENNAN SHIPPERS ARE SO VICIOUS HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE HANNAH SHE IS SO PERFECT YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS BITCH BECAUSE YOU WANT BOOTH FOR YOURSELF OMG HOW DARE YOU THE ACTRESS IS FRENCH CANADIAN (for the record, I mentioned that I knew that in an earlier comment, and that my issue was not the accent but the aforementioned oatmeal mouth) YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL AND DIIIIIIEEEEE."

So, yeah. Unless you are comfortable with this happening to you, you should not do what I do. Because no matter how bland and widely-accepted your opinions are (and really, I checked, 99% of Bones fans agree with me and are, in fact, way meaner than I am. I dare you to go to their facebook page), eventually you will piss off someone. It is A Given Fact of Internet Life.

So in conclusion, sometimes my job sucks, OMG I AM SO BORED SOMEONE PLEASE PLAY WITH ME, and here are some baby otters learning how to swim (NOW THIS IS A JOB I WANT):

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