chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

  • Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.

  • THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:


  • Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.

  • Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.

    Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.

  • Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
    and it makes arthur want to stab things
    can cranky gerbils be made nice
    fuzzy little creatures dancing around
    gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
    joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
    you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!

    GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE.

  • HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:


    I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.



Also, a while back [livejournal.com profile] i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.



ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

BEEEEEEEP.
chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

SPAMMITY SPAM SPAM. )
chibirhm: (Strike a pose there's nothing to it.)
ALSDKFJSLKDJ GOLDEN GLOBES TONIGHT!!!! Guys, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I fucking love the Globes. I mean, I'm a fan of all awards shows because people in pretty dresses, but the Globes are my favorite. Movies! And television! EVERYONE ALL IN ONE PLACE! Plus I am, like, way more into Inception than I realized, because I was bored on Friday and watching the fucking Critic's Choice awards, which is like the bellybutton lint of awards shows, and I got all squealy and flappy-handed when Inception was even mentioned. Which is weird, because when I first watched it I didn't feel the way I do about most of my favorite movies, where I walk away from it like "WOW THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING I WANT TO WRITE ODES TO IT". Instead it sort of wormed its way into my heart so when I did a re-watch of it last week because I was bored/in the mood I spent the ENTIRE TIME squealing and going I HAD NO IDEA I FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS MOVIE BUT OH MY GOD I WANT TO MARRY IT AND HAVE SOME BABIES WITH IT ALSKJFLSKJ.

Another thing that totally snuck up on me is how deeply I adore red carpet fashion. But this year, it's gone from "I enjoy making catty comments" to a full-blown obsession. It started when it was New Year's Eve and E! had a marathon of the Fashion Police from last year's awards shows, and I was bored so I was like LA LA I THINK I WILL GO LOOK UP THIS YEAR'S LINES AND PLAY DRESS-UP WITH MYSELF. Only then I kept looking. And looking. And cut to now where I literally have spent days and days creating a full-blown wardrobe for myself. Which at first I wasn't going to share, because it made me feel really dorky and lame and totally out of character, but several people assured me they wanted to see, and you know what, fuck it, I'm stupidly excited. SO I WILL NOW SUBJECT YOU TO MY FASHION SENSE.

STRIKE A POSE, THERE'S NOTHING TO IT. )


Edit: Iiiiii am officially creeped out.

So I've mentioned before that it sort of breaks my heart/amazes me a little how Joe and I have the same taste in stuff, right? I mean, granted, it's mostly stuff a lot of people (especially pretentious people) like, but more often than not, we agree. And I find that charming but not creepy because, well, a lot of people like Great Lake Swimmers and Oliver Sacks and stripey socks. Maybe not all at the same time, but still! It was more endearing that we had stuff in common than oh god get out of my brain. Except now he has officially reached levels of what the fucking what?!!? Because I started this post last night, and this morning when I woke up and went through my tumblr dash backlog/twitter, I saw that Joe updated. About loving Jon Brion.

Most of you are now going "who the fuck is Jon Brion?" THIS IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE, BECAUSE HE IS REALLY FUCKING OBSCURE. He's an instrumentalist/composer/producer who's one of those guys who has his fingers in a million indie pies, but you wouldn't know unless you specifically knew to look for him. He's most well known for composing the scores to exactly three movies: Magnolia, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I ♥ Huckabees, none of which are exactly classics everybody has watched, let alone listened to the scores to. Except me. Because I fell utterly in love with the Eternal Sunshine score, which is very, very strange, considering that usually music without words is not my deal. I don't have Magnolia (sorry, I'm not the hugest fan of Aimee Mann), but I do have the I ♥ Huckabees soundtrack, in spite of never seeing it, because I just love Jon Brion that fucking much. I love him so much, in fact, that in addition to wishing to one day have him compose the score to my life, he is my ringtone. In fact, he is several of my ringtones. The only thing he isn't on my phone is my alarm clock, because then I'd just stay in bed listening instead of getting up to take my pills and turn the damn thing off. And the reason I chose him, in addition to the fact that I straight-up just love the guy? HE'S SO OBSCURE I WILL NEVER CONFUSE MY RINGTONE WITH ANYONE ELSE'S.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS? WHAT THE FRIGGDY FRACK IS GOING ON HERE.

chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)


THINGS WE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD OF MY APPARENT INABILITY TO UPDATE MY LIVEJOURNAL: OOH, COLIN MORGAN. OOOOOOH. I've told you guys about my deep and abiding obsession I have with Colin's profile, right, and how I believe that it is the most perfect profile in the universe, from which all perfect profiles are thus derived? In case I haven't, those are my feelings. OOH COLIN MORGAN. I WOULD FEEL SWOONY AND FAINT AROUND YOU, BUT THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Guys, I wish I had, like, a legitimate and good reason why I can't seem to post a lot lately. I wish I had a secret project or was a secret government agent. I wish I had gotten a new puppy/unicorn/whatever. The truth is I've been busy with really boring stuff. Like yesterday I had a meeting in Harvard Square in the morning and then I napped the afternoon away because I'm not used to having to be conscious in the morning. The day before that, I was busy shoveling two feet of snow. And then there have been a bunch of days where it's like wrote an article! Spent all day making phone calls! I've been posting on tumblr a lot because you don't really have to say anything on tumblr and it's v. v. convenient. Tumblr is also a place where it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged to blather for roughly one paragraph about eighteen times a day and no one is like kasjflkjdsfl STOP SPAMMING ME. So here are some things that, were it socially acceptable on Livejournal to spam you with four-sentence updates, I would have one so, as illustrated by .gifs:

LONG WORDY LIST GOES HERE. )
chibirhm: (Thumbs up for America!)
Urgh, the first week back to real life after the holidays, why must you suck so hard and be so boring? I keep meaning to update, I do, but by time I'm finished with my to-do list for the day it's late and I'm tired and I'm like "aw, fuck it". It's been a long week of cleaning this and moving that there and calling that doctor and re-scheduling that appointment and trying to sign up for this class only to realize that's the one night I can't go so attempting to get permission to take this other class blah blah telephone calls blah blah blah. There's no way even I, the master of making ordinary shit sound fake-exciting, can make that fake-exciting.

The most exciting stuff to happen to me are the four following things:

ONE - I have been having cracktacular fandom mashup dreams. I don't remember most of them, I just remember that they were fandom-y. But the one I do remember was last night's, which started with me and JGL somewhere where he was explaining what the shit his now second-to-last tweet meant. (He wrote "THE TREE OF LIFE", allcaps included, which I spent a bunch of time puzzling over. Did he see a trailer and therefore was excited for the upcoming film? Did he get drunk on Manaschevitz and have a reunion with old Hebrew School buddies and they were drunkenly singing that horrible song that's been stuck in my head ever since? (IT IS A TREE OF LIFE TO THEM THAT HOLD FAST TO IT AND ALL OF ITS SUPPORTERS ARE [clap] HAP-PY! Sing with me, fellow Jews. I can't have gone to the only Hebrew School on the planet that inflicted that monstrosity upon their students.) Was he just drunk and putting together random words because he could? I wish I could remember my dream, because I just have so many questions, real!Joe.)

Then somehow I was in this game with BBC!John and Sherlock, and it was like an escape the room game (been playing WAY too many of those) but had the same rules as the dreams in Inception. But we couldn't kill ourselves because it would compromise the investigation. Only I kept ruining that by accident and Sherlock was mad and eventually somehow this brought John and Sherlock together enough to admit their feelings and make out a lot. Which was cute for a few seconds, but then got awkward, so I went to walk around, only to find Ryan Murphy had left me a spray-painted graffiti note saying he'd come across my writing on the internet, loved it, and wanted me to move out to LA and start writing Glee with him. And then I woke up, and Dearest by Buddy Holly was stuck in my head.

Qu'est-ce que le quoi?

There are two types of dreams, in my experience, the ones where your subconscious tells you something meaningful and the ones where it's just throwing all the leftover shit together for the day and hoping you just roll with it. This week I am clearly taking a hefty sample of column B.

TWO - So, Merlin fandom, this is coming out in March:



If I don't see every variety and pairing of Sim getting it on and Sim babies, I'm gonna be disappointed in you, is all I'm saying.

THREE - Two nights ago I stayed up until 5 AM attempting to explain American politics to [livejournal.com profile] alexi_lupin and [livejournal.com profile] mcgooglykins, which, as always, just boils down to me explaining the whole American dream/bootstraps phenomenon. And when I explain that, I have never met a non-American who didn't go that is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Because it is. And it sort of made me like, aw, America, why are you such a shitty country? Why do I still love you more than anything?

But then I was browsing the Best of Wikipedia archives to see if I came across anything cool, and I found the perfect example of why America is my favorite. It's because we have a Supreme Court case dedicated entirely to arguing if tomatoes legally count as a fruit or vegetable.

Is there any other country in the universe that would be that wholly ridiculous? No! (Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.) Only in America would we fight the Supreme Court for the right to declare tomatoes a vegetable because that's how they're used, and besides, it would get us out of that pesky tariff.

OH CRAZY COUNTRY OF MINE, NEVER STOP BEING ADORABLE.

FOUR - for no reason I can discern, my bosses bought and sent me S2 of Merlin. Was it for my birthday? An addition to my Christmas bonus? They neither said when I asked nor left a note/return address with a name in it, which worried me because I forgot what town they live in an was like OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS THAT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, IS THIS DVD TRAPPED?!?!? Thank Jesus for reverse address check-up, or I'd have been full-on Admiral Ackbar-ing it for way, way longer. Also, thank God for the best bosses ever. Seriously, the entire disc set? AW YOU GUYS. THIS MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF SALARY.

So yeah, homes. Crazy week! Because that's how I roll.
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Happy New Year's everyone! I'm not fond of New Year's because I think it's a generally dumb holiday (it's been a year since that arbitrarily chosen day we celebrated last year! Hurrah!), but I have made the resolution to stop being so damn lazy at night and actually brush my fucking teeth every night, which half the time I don't do because my teeth "don't feel dirty" and I'm a disgusting slob. It's gross. It's so gross. I need to get on that. Though I failed with the one night I had to start, because I closed my eyes for two seconds waiting for a download to finish and next thing I know my mom's come down at 5 AM to turn off the light in the living room because I fell asleep (in a really uncomfortable position). So yeah, teeth brushing did not happen so much. I have asked my various animals their new year's resolutions as well. Charlie vows to chew ALL the cardboard, Gus wants to become a big boy and explore brand new couches that he has yet to poop on, and Ella wants her belly rubbed for at least three hours a day. I think that they'll probably all be relatively successful, too.

I've also been watching How I Met Your Mother with Evan (twin brother, for you newbies), who's home from college, and really, really wanted to marathon it. So obvs, I am pimping the show out like whoa, because at least once a day I make a verbal How I Met Your Mother reference and everyone in my family stares at me weird. Mostly it's great, except for the fact that Evan is romantically retarded. Like, I love him, but he really, really is. (Which is why I always use him as an argument for Bradley/Colin, because if even he looks at two dudes and thinks they're fucking/want to be, he's usually right.) I could bore you with lots of examples but I will just settle on this: we're almost done with Season 1 and Evan still thinks that Ted and Robin are The Most Perfect For Each Other Couple Ever. (And yes, he still thought that after seeing Zip Zip Zip. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN'S BRAIN.)

My reaction was roughly as follows:



I never re-watch any episodes past Mary the Paralegal because it's all Ted and Robin getting together (yuck) and Marshall and Lily temporarily breaking up (MY HEART IS BROKEN) it's just like why would I ever do that to myself? And I can just tell he's going to be cheering and beaming. WHILE MARSHALL AND LILY BREAK UP. E TU, BRUTE?

Also, I am concerned for that boy's romantic future.

And in conclusion, link dump! The... whatever it's called, that row where you can drag links for quick reference, is getting crowded, and it's entirely filled with links that are in regards to Men I Find Ridiculously Endearing And Delightful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
  • It sounds really lame, but honestly, if you have ever been a fan of Monsieur Cumberbatch, you should listen to him "sing" Candle in the Wind. OH CUMBERSNATCH, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE THE OCEAN.
  • I'm starting to be seriously concerned that there's some sort of computer chip implanted in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brain that compels him to be overwhelmingly, ridiculously endearing at exactly the right intervals such that I will become incapable of escaping from the growing chasm-like crush I have on him. This morning such an event occurred when he recommended this fabulous article by Oliver Sacks on how your brain never stops growing so you should never stop learning. I am honestly stumped by what I find the most appealing about this; the fact that he reads the New York Times op-eds, the fact that he reads and knows who OLIVER SACKS is (aka: the coolest/only scientist I legit care about), or the fact that he's all fangirly over lifetime education. EITHER WAY IT IS MIGHTY HARD TO TYPE 'ROUND THEM HEARTS IN MY EYES.
  • Speaking of endearing menfolk, everyone who failed to tell me about this Alex O'Loughlin interview is fired from life.



    HE JUGGLES. AND DISCUSSES OPEN HEART SURGERY. AND IS ADORABLE. I CAN'T EVEN.
  • Hey everyone! Let's all go objectify sulky bb Scott Caan! Okay!
  • I would attempt to explain the glory of the following quote by Tom Hardy, in which he describes his strangest dream, but I cannot do it justice, so let's just all read it together:
    "I'm on stage at a Star Trek convention, and I'm wearing my Shinzon makeup and costume from Star Trek: Nemesis. Sitting next to me are Leo DiCaprio dressed as Captain Kirk, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Mr. Spock, Cillian Murphy as McCoy and Ellen Page as Uhura, and we’re all answering audience member questions about Inception. Suddenly, a Klingon in the audience stands up and shoots Leo in the chest, and the whole room erupts into chaos. Ellen shouts for Cillian to do something, but he tells her that he's an actor, not a doctor, so she looks at me and begs me to help, and I look at Leo and he's clearly dying, so I say I'll do what I can. I grab a ball-point pen and a microphone cord and I'm about to perform surgery when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, that's when I wake up."

    Alright, if you're not attracted to Tom Hardy, that's fine. I'm not attracted to him in an "I would tap that" way so much as a "I want to draw you and stare at your face FOREVER because it's sort of aesthetically fascinating". I get it! But if you don't find him ridiculously endearing after reading that, I despair for you slightly. His brain is a magnificent place.
  • HAPPY (BELATED) TWETNY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY, COLIN MORGAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. I was discussing Colin's birthday/the inevitable drunken voicemails he probably gets, including the one from Bradley, with [livejournal.com profile] myfoolisheart, and I was sort of amusing myself by writing them when I realized that it is shockingly easy for me to write Bradley James drunk. I attribute this on the fact that he already has almost no brain-to-mouth filter while sober.

    I MISS YOU, BRADLEY AND COLIN.
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.

SO IF YOU FIND ME DEAD ANY TIME SOON, I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. FUCKING DIMPLES AND THE THINGS I CAN BE PERSUADED TO DO FOR THEM.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection


TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


MARMOTFAAAAAACE


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.



FOUR: Lots of fic to read! And recommend! I mean, obviously, there is Yuletide, but first, before you read that, DROP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GO READ THIS FIC CLAUDIA WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS ONLY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO HUMANITY PRETTY MUCH EVER. MERLIN/ARTHUR MODERN-DAY FIREFIGHTER AU. THERE IS A DOG. AND MAGIC. AND SEXY SHIRTLESSNESS. AND ARTHUR NAKED FOR A CHARITY CALENDER WITH ONLY HIS FIRE HAT IN A STRATEGIC LOCATION. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:



WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.
chibirhm: (Did you know I missed you?)
MY BIRTHDAY WAS SO AWESOME. I mean, my sister was feeling really unwell and was asleep most of the night instead of hanging out like we'd planned so that was annoying, but still! I have a very long history of very crappy birthdays, between it being so close to Christmas and being a twin (I mean, my parents were always great about giving us both what we wanted, even if that meant baking two cakes and cooking two dinners, but it's inevitable that as a kid you watch all your friends and your sister have a day that's JUST THEIR DAY FOREVER and you have to share it, and it feels sort of crappy, no matter how great your parents are) and the fact that for whatever reason, no one ever remembered it. It was particularly hellish in high school when there would be those girls who would go around with crowns and balloons tied to their bags and expect you to treat them like queens for a day and basically stop every class for fifteen minutes, and I would always make such a fuss over my friends' birthdays (once we bought a cafeteria cupcake and conned a science teacher into giving us a lighter they used for a Bunsen burner to "blow out", I never managed to top that one), and I would have to remind people for weeks it was my birthday and then whenever it came around they'd be like "sorry, forgot, have a big Spanish test and I was thinking about what I was going to do over Christmas break" and it was like lksdafjlksjdflkj ARG.

But yesterday! I slept until noon, I chilled out all day, the BFF came over for Chinese food, Ella spent the night, cake was delicious, I got Merlin season 1, How I Met Your Mother seasons 3 and 4, Community season 1, a cute little creamer shaped like a bunny, a cute little notebook again, with bunnies (bunnies are my "thing" in my family), and some big fuzzy PJ pants. Plus, [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark got me a year of paid account time! BB YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME. I WILL TRY TO FINISH A FIC SOMETIME BEFORE I DIE FOR YOU. And thank you for everyone who sent me messages! You all are too good to me. ♥

ANYWAY, SOME RANDOM MISCELLANY THAT DOESN'T REALLY COHERENTLY GO ANYWHERE.

UNE: So I was doing top 5's for my tumblr and had made all these pretty graphics when Ella, trying to get my attention, pawed at my laptop and SHUT IT DOWN before I had a chance to save them. TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY.

Most of it is easy enough to re-create, but the real tragedy is losing the one that was for Merlin/Arthur/Bradley/Colin (okay, they're all one giant mashed-up ball of love in my head. AND YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM). It took me SO LONG to find/narrow down screencaps and pictures that spanned all seasons and eras and it is too fucking much to undertake again. So, hardship of hardships, I think you all should reach down and trawl through your photo collections for your favorite (undoctored/colored/whatever) pictures of the boys being stupidface in love for me to put into a collage. The only requirement is that they both be in the frame instead of just giving besotted eyes to the camera, like I want it to be obvious to anyone, even if they've never seen the two before, that they're looking at each other like I LOVE YOUUU.

DEUX:D'you know that I can easily choose my top 5 gay OTPs, but once you include all my heterosexual OTPs, I get SUPER CONFUSED?!?! Like I was going to do two top fives, one of just gay couples and one of just straight ones, but when I went to list all my favorite het pairings the list just kept going and going and going and I love them all the same! It's not with the same ardent fire and passion that my gay pairings inspire in me, mostly because I don't have to fight for het pairings to happen, you know? They actually get together if I wait long enough. They all make my heart warm. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM, IT'S LIKE MURDERING BABIES.

TROIS: DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG WHERE ARE YOU GUYS, I NEED SOMEONE TO JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SQUEAL LOUDLY WITH. WHERE IS THE PARTY?!?!? IS THERE A PARTY?!?!? SHOULD I HOST A PARTY?!?!? AM I THE ONLY ONE EXCITED FOR THE INEVITABLE CELEBRATORY YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF GAY COUPLES IN UNIFORM HUGGING AND MAKING OUT?!?!??!

QUATRE: Did you know I updated my fanvid request post? YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT, HINT HINT.

CINQ: Jesus fucking Christ the cast of Community is adorable. I've been listening to all the commentaries and I just want to move in with them and we can all be besties. Though I'm unsure how I feel about Dan Harmon. He's a genius, obviously, and I agree with him on a lot of things, but he also comes across as a kind of giant smug asshole.

But seriously, why doesn't Community get nominated for more shit? It's way better than a lot of the crap that does get nominated. I'm talking to you, United States of Tara and inexplicable Two and a Half Men.

CINQ AND A HALF: Am I the only one who hates Jeff and Annie together on Community? It icks me out so hard I can't even describe. I still am all aboard the Annie/Troy train. I'm unsure how I feel about Jeff/Britta, but I really want Annie and Troy to grow up and go out and get married and Annie will be a social worker or whatever she wants to be and Troy will own a construction company and Abed will move to LA but he'll talk to Troy on the phone every day and stay at their house whenever he needs and before he makes it big live in their basement. THE END IT WILL BE AWESOME.

SIX: So I just realized the other day while I was doing dishes that Future Husband JGL and also probably Tom Hardy and Ellen Page are probably going to be at all the major awards events this season because Inception keeps getting nominated for shit! LET'S DISCUSS MY LEVELS OF EXCITEMENT! THEY ARE HIGH.

Also, let's discuss how hard I laughed when I saw the For Your Consideration posters for whichever ball of shit Twilight movie they're on. You know the scene where Edward proposes that's in every commercial ever now that one of them is coming out on DVD? It is so hilariously awful and flat. And oh my god, that ring is hideous. Like, even refraining from my feminism rant, how can anyone think those movies or books are good it is so mind-boggling.

SEPT: DID I MENTION DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEAL IS REALLY EXCITING?!?!?!

HOLY MOTHER OF EDIT: OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY COLIN AND BRADLEY BUT MY MIND IS BLOWN. HOLY. FUCKING. FUCK.

DO WANT RIGHT NOW THIS IS PHOTO PROOF THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN, OKAY THANKS BYE.
chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
saldfjdslkfj hello, hi, I am not dead, hi.

So most of you know why I have been conspicuously absent all week and if you don't, you can ask, uh, anyone else, and they will tell you. I'm not going into it because it's my work and I try to keep work and play as separate as I can (which is like, 95% impossible when my work is play), so yeah, thank you to everyone who's been respecting that, you are all magnificent and I love you.

But omg, completely unsympathetic complaint (well, not complaint so much as... venting?) time, I am so fucking tired. Like, I don't think I even realized how tired I was until I got home from my checkup and went to my e-mail and re-read one of my recent posts for work and was like "oh, fucknuggets, I sound so bitchy". I mean, in my defense, everyone gets bitchy sometimes, especially when they're tired, and I was doing like five things at once while I was typing that up, and I often forget that sarcasm cannot be read over the internet, but I only forget that when I'm really tired. And by tired I mean, I have been too adrenaline-crazy between work/my final yesterday which I vastly over-studied for/attempting to get Christmas presents out to sleep more than four or five hours a night. (Note: if I promised you something for Christmas, expect it for New Year's. If I promised you something and you are not American, expect it in time for Valentine's Day.) And thank God Bones is over for the year because I have like a week's worth of dishes I've been too busy to do sitting in the kitchen, plus I have to put in a laundry and vacuum the living room. Tonight. So for obvious reasons, I'm sort of eschewing the whole finale review/picspam thing for some later date when I am bored and Merlin fandom is quiet, and then I will be all SURPRISE! NINJA ATTACK OF MERLIN! And everyone will be all HOORAH HOORAH and we will celebrate jubilantly.

But tomorrow is my birthday, and you know what I'm giving myself for my birthday? A day of doing absolutely nothing. (Well, I will probably be finishing Christmas cards, and doing silly stuff like updating my fanvid wishlist because I have about five more ideas and one actually got made (!!!), but that's a fun sort of chore.) I will be lolling around the internet basking in the warm fuzzy glow cast by the re-ignition of the fandom squee machine, and then at night I am having what I consider to be The Formula For The Best Night Ever. And by that, I mean it will be me, my sister, my BFF, and my dog marathoning 30 Rock while eating Chinese food, and then the dog will sleep over curled up against my tummy. Because clearly, I am a hardcore party animal like that. You know what else I'm giving myself for my birthday? A GIANT NAP. WHICH IS REALLY THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT I WANT FROM THE UNIVERSE. Well, at least on my realistic wishlist, because I don't think that, say, I will grow three inches overnight, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt is going to ring the doorbell tomorrow and ask me out with a sidebar of marrying him.

UNTIL THEN! PLEASE SQUEE AT ME. ACCEPTABLE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

- SCOTT CAAN AND THAT PICTURE OF HIM EATING A TRIPLE ORGASM CAKE TO CELEBRATE HIS GOLDEN GLOBE NOM BECAUSE OMG WTF ADORABLE
- THE PETITION THAT SOMEONE NEEDS TO START TO MAKE SCOTT CAAN BE SHIRTLESS BECAUSE REALLY NOW
- THIS MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I HAVE WATCHED LIKE EIGHT BILLION TIMES AND THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I WAS SO HAPPY I NEARLY THREW UP FROM SMILING TOO HARD
- ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS RIDICULOUS AND ADORABLE UNTIL HE SPEAKS WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, AT WHICH POINT SUDDENLY HE IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT TO HUG HIM UNTIL HIS EYES POP OUT LIKE ONE OF THOSE STRESS DOLLS
- BASICALLY ANYTHING RELATING TO HAWAII 5-0 BECAUSE OMG THAT SHOW IS LIKE A LITTLE OASIS OF GAY IN A BIG OLD HETEROSEXUAL DESERT
- FUZZY PUPPIES/KITTENS/GERBILS/COLIN MORGAN'S HAIR
- MY NEWEST THEORY ON COLIN MORGAN AS DISCUSSED WITH [livejournal.com profile] copperiisulfate: HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES, BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE HE WAS CAUSING ALL THE OTHER ELVES TO HAVE SEXUALITY CRISES AND IT WAS SLOWING DOWN PRODUCTIVITY
- THE WAY COLIN MORGAN SAYS WORDS
- THE FACT THAT BRADLEY JAMES TOTALLY UNSECRETLY READS LIVEJOURNAL BECAUSE AHAHAHAH, BRADLEY JAMES, YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU EXIST
- THIS EXISTS AND IS TRUE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY DELICIOUS? CAKE IS REALLY DELICIOUS
- SO ARE CUPCAKES
- OR PIE
- I LOVE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH'S FACE AND I FEEL WE DON'T DISCUSS THIS ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO LOVELY SOMETIMES I WANT TO CREATE CHARTS DISCUSSING, LIKE, HOW HIS EYES ARE MAGNIFICENT
- I'M ON A BOAT. (DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!)
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
So I know I said I was going to have my ~ultimate both parts of the finale~ Merlin recap on Wednesday. AND I MEANT FOR THAT TO BE TRUE. But then on Thursday I was busy because I had a doctor's appointment and work, which I didn't finish. And then I was like "oh, well, I'll finish the column Friday morning!", except I forgot something: lately I've been sleeping like shit. I can't get my brain to turn off until like for or five in the morning, at which point it will ONLY shut off and I will fall asleep if I leave my laptop on and playing a television show. (Most weirdly specific insomnia ever?!) And then my alarm goes off at ten every morning - partially so I don't sleep the day away, but mostly because I've found if I don't take my medications by ten than the ADD stuff will keep me awake. Irony! But I've talked to my mom and consulted various doctors before about how to fall asleep easier at night, since it's always been a problem, and everything I've looked up says you need to set a schedule for yourself, including what time you wake up. Which I do! It just doesn't seem to be working.

The point is, I'm operating on very, very little sleep and the column took me the entire day to write. It was actually sort of traumatic and involved tears because I was so frustrated and really insanely overtired (I think in the past three days I've gotten maybe 15 hours of sleep?) Which is actually ironic, because the article was on the latest episode of Bones where Brennan also, like, doesn't sleep. LIFE, ART, BLAH BLAH BLAH. The point is, I'll get to it. Eventually. I'm not exactly worried, though, because is there ever going to be a point where you all are like "no, I really don't feel like getting excited over Merlin and Arthur's big gay love"??? I THINK NOT.

ANYWAY A FEW THINGS THAT ARE DELIGHTFUL TO TIDE YOU OVER:

Involves pictures, cut to save your friendslist. )

CINCO
This is important enough to leave outside of a cut, so - I am not doing the Holiday Love Meme. I'm just... not a fan of love memes. They make me feel increasingly awkward. If you want to leave me some love, you are welcome to do it in this entry or really, at any time of the year without having even the slightest patina of an excuse. If you were really looking forward to what I was going to write about you or for any reason feel your holiday season would be improved by me verbally validating our totally awesome e-bond, please consider this my open invitation to request just such a thing without being judged even the teeniest of tiny bits.

SIES
...and now I'm going to take a nap like a motherfucking boss.
chibirhm: (Donde esta la biblioteca?)
A PLETHORA OF THOUGHTS:
  • I cannot stop listening to this song lately, for some reason:


  • I just realized it's been like a week and not only have I not told you anything about my new gerbils, I haven't told you what I ended up naming them (with your help). THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE:

    The big fellow eventually got named Charlie, but more often than not, he goes by his grab-bag of nicknames (Charliebears, Chaz, Chazmataz, Chuck, Chuckles, Senor Chuckles, Mr. Big Fuzz, etc). He's still quite nervous and not much into being held, and he's very protective of his little brother. He always sleeps on top of him and if the little fellow ever leaves the cage, he'll pin him down the second he gets back and wash him like a mama cat while he squeaks in protest, like "STOP COMPLAINING, I KNOW WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE YOU GET INTO". Often he will glare at me accusingly, as if to say "AND YOU! YOU ARE ENCOURAGING THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR."

    The little fellow now goes by Gus (or, more often, Gusgus), and is a little flirty mcflirtface. Also, still a douchey little brother who is constantly tugging at Charlie's back paws like ME ME ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME PLAY WITH MEEEEEE or stealing food directly from his mouth or trying to get Charlie to give him a piggyback ride. (It's not humping, he is literally going for a piggyback ride. What is this gerb I don't even.) Altogether they are lovely little gentlegerbs and we are all getting along quite well. I just wish they enjoyed attention more, but we'll get there. None of my other gerbils did at first and it only took them a few months before they' squeal in the corners going LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME.

  • So I just received an utterly hilarious reply to my final Merlin review at work which was all poorly spelled and full of lol-speak and ended with "stop with the gay thing!!!"

    ...I'm sorry, do you know what show you're watching? I've nosed around other sites of similar calliber and they all allude to the gay thing, but none of them ever mention it as explicitly as I do, and I'm pretty sure that's because it's "not professional". I mean, I've talked to the people who write stuff for, say Hawaii 5-0 and while in private they'll be all OMG GAYEST EVER once it comes to their article they sort of politely gloss over it as a "nice friendly bromantic moment".

    I don't think I'll ever get why it's "unprofessional" to be like "GUESS WHAT, EVERYONE, THIS IS GAY. WHEN TWO DUDES ARE LIKE ABOUT TO KISS, THAT'S GAY". It's like... when people encounter it, they seem to sort of treat it the way they would treat someone with boils that ooze puss all over their face, like, oh my god, it's rude to mention that, quick,let's talk about how they have really nice eyes and a stellar personality! I have no problem discussing the nice eyes and stellar personality, it's just my personal belief that if there are GIANT PUS-OOZING BOILS on someone's face, it should be pointed out. Especially when they aren't something horrible like boils at all! They are something very nice! Like boys who love each other!

    But seriously. I will stop with the whole "gay thing" when there are no longer moments that look like this:



    or this:



    AKA NEVER.

  • You know what I've stopped looking at and don't miss? The Mean Meme. It was starting to be so pointlessly irritating to me I just stopped going, and this weekend I was bored and thought "huh, I wonder what they thought of my vitriolic Julian letter" so I went and... oh my god. You guys, I stated explicitly that I was not going to send it in like the third line down from the top and the entire thread was like a really bitchy Emily Post guide like OMG WHY IS SHE SENDING THIS LETTER TO JULIAN MURPHY.

    So I am really glad I went back one more time. It was cathartic. (Well, it was cathartic once I stopped laughing.) Because it was at that moment I realized something - they can't read. And if they're too dumb to read, than their opinions don't count. Ever. And it was like all my angst evaporated and I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.

    So goodbye, meme. I won't miss you even in the slightest.

    That being said, I'm not British, so I'm not sure how effective this would be, but do you think it would be helpful to do a sort of... positive re-enforcement letter send in? Like, as a group? Because I think we can all agree that the finale wasn't perfect as far as fixing all our S3 Arthur/Merlin woes, but it was like, glory hallelujah, they're actually friends again. If a lot of fandom got together and sent in letters that said, effectively, "I was really sad about the Arthur/Merlin friendship in S3, but thank you so much for the finale, it made me feel so much better, please do more of that", would it help? I mean, ego-stroking tends to be an effective method of getting someone on your side, I've found.

  • I'm not, like, upset about tumblr, but I do find myself vaguely concerned about the length of time its been down. The first few hours it was cute, like, awww, your server's overheated, hasn't it? Now it's been long enough that I'm sitting here going OMG IS THIS THE WORK OF ANTI-HIPSTER CYBERTERRORISTS!?!? I'm just about Tim Gunn levels of concerned, is my point.

  • So we're getting one side of our house re-shingled, and it happens to be one of the sides that my bedroom window is facing. And you know what's creepy-weird and irritating? Waking up to BANG BANG BANGITYBANG BANG BANG BANGITY every morning (I don't know how I sleep through most of it, honestly) and also THE FACE/BODY OF A CONSTRUCTION WORKER DUDE. (Sadly not of the hot fanfic variety. Sigh!) Now, these guys are super-professional and never once have glanced inside my room, but the fact that their turned away faces are RIGHT THERE creeps me out. I have taken to zooming out of my bed so fast it's like it's on fire and when I have to go out, changing either under my covers or crouched in the bathroom.

    I will be so glad when this is over.

  • So my sister's boyfriend spent his first Hannukah with us on Saturday and he got us all presents because he has what my sister refers to as "a gift-giving problem" (and we both agree that, as problems go, this isn't a bad one to have). Now I knew he'd get my parents gifts because he's very polite and proper like that, but I wasn't expecting he'd get me a gift. But you know what he got me?

    AN ALPHONSE MUCHA CALENDER.

    Guys, he doesn't read my livejournal. He doesn't even know I have a livejournal. We've had one conversation on Art Nouveau but that was more on Klimt and if he counted or not. And he got me an Alphonse Mucha calender.

    My first reaction was to wait until he had left and then inform my sister that if she didn't marry him I'd be severely disappointed in her, and then my second reaction was OMG NOW I HAVE TO GET HIM SOMETHING, because I have a bit of a gift-giving problem as well. I know back when I first met him around August I thought up a Christmas present and then dismissed it because, like I said, he's very proper and polite and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable and like he should have given me something when I thought there was no way he would. And I can't remember what that idea was! Any ideas for the most thoughtful, creepily insightful brother-in-dating-law that's about $10 or under?

  • Dear Future Husband Joseph Gordon-Levitt,

    There are times when you post pictures like this on your tumblr:



    And we need to have a talk. Because, you see, you need to stop doing that. Let's face it, you are not actually my future husband, you are way too hot to be my future husband. But when you post pictures of you with your dad making funny adorable faces in those glasses that you know give me feelings, it's really unfair. And causes me to make inhuman high-pitched embarrassing noises.

    Please, I know I've requested this of you before, but if you could stop being so fucking adorable and falsely accessible, that would be nice. Just, like, get caught with a transvestite prostitute. It didn't hurt Hugh Grant's career! And it would make me feel so much better about my life to know that there aren't creepily perfect people out there. RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A LITTLE TOO CREEPILY PERFECT.

    Sincerely,
    Me.

  • NEW HAWAII 5-0 TONIGHT!!!!! WHO WANTS TO WATCH AND LIVESQUEE WITH ME?!?!! YOU KNOW YOU DO. C'MON.
chibirhm: (Darth Vader is kind to small animals!)
So I've been keeping this pretty hush-hush since I didn't want to jinx anything, but for the past month or so I've been working very diligently at adopting two little gerbil fellows. I wanted boys this time because I never wanted to be in the position of having only one gerbil, and male gerbils like adding new pups to their little clan, but female gerbils get all BOO YOU WHORE. Anyway, after many weeks of effort, I have taken home two little guys I think you all should meet.

LOS DOS AMIGOS DE FUZZ. )

In other news, Merlin was awesome but I don't think I'm going to do any commentary until I see the entirety of the finale because it feels kind of wrong, you know, like pausing a movie halfway and giving a review, and yes, I am working on the Art Nouveau spam, which has gotten completely out of hand and ginormous. But on the plus side, you will come away from it SO EDUCATED it'll be ridiculous. Get excited, y'all!

Edit: JGL's latest tumblr post is entitled "subway makeouts". ARE YOU TAUNTING ME, SIR? Because I'd make out with you in a subway. Or an alleyway. Or really... any way at all.
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
So as requested, I'm working on an Art Nouveau spam. It'll probably be up on Friday because a) I have to edit the pictures so they're all the same size and not RIDICULOUSLY HUGE and the ones in series are all put together. Plus, it's taking an annoyingly long time to find artists. You would think they'd all be listed on Wikipedia, but no. I have some serious complaints about the Wikipedia article. Half the artists they link to are so obscure there's only a sentence written about them, and a good deal of them aren't Art Nouveau at all but Art Deco. A bunch are just... I don't even know what, but there is nothing Art Nouveau-y about them. Like Klimt. Why is Klimt listed as being Art Nouveau when he clearly is not? SHAPE UP WIKIPEDIA.

/PRETENTIOUS

Anyway, while I was taking a break and nosing around tumblr, like I do, I came across this picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt:



NONE OF YOU THOUGHT TO ALERT ME TO THE EXISTENCE OF THIS PICTURE? NO ONE AT ALL? YOU ARE ALL FIRED. FIRED.

...aaaaaand that's really all. This entry is pretty much an excuse to drool over the above picture and also a shameless request for people to play with me. Comment party? Anyone want to talk about how great Raising Hope was last night? Slash how hard they want to ship Jimmy/Sabrina with me? Or how awesome that chick from Garfunkel and Oates is in it? Want me to convince you to watch Hawaii 5-0 so I have someone to keyboard mash to in realtime? Anybody at all? Beuller?
chibirhm: (Je ne comprends pas - je suis anglais)
Okay, so I have been warning you guys for a while that I am, uh, how do you say, a giant pretentious douchebag. I am like the most earnest of earnest hipsters. My honest love of things like Wes Anderson movies, indie music, and Chuck Taylors are only made more ironic by the fact that I also love Lady Gaga. My lack of effort put into being a hipster only intensifies my hipsterness! This is a fact I am forced to accept about myself.

So, Alex O'Loughlin, right? He's in Hawaii 5-0 and he's cute, but he isn't like, here are my panties, they are soaking with a combination of water I used to put out the fire you lit in them as well as my lady juices. And I was very comfortable with this fact until I saw this picture:

What is this I don't even. )

I'm not sure if this makes my life dream of marrying Joseph Gordon-Levitt more feasible because oh my god, wouldn't we be so adorably pretentious together, or if perhaps it should be prevented because can you imagine our children? The poor bastards wouldn't have a chance. They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

You may begin your mockery, now.
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
What I mean, when I say that, is that I don't really have anything to say but have a lot of links sitting at the top of my whatever that bar is called where there are bookmarks and shit that are going "YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT ME". So. Uh. Here is like a random list of random stuff? IDK. Mostly I'm just tired of these links hanging out, bored, and miss having comments in my inbox.

ONE:
So, I'm still not watching this week's episode of Merlin, but I did go look at the promo photos (which are the first Arthur/Gwen promo photos so fandom was all abuzz) and OH MY GOD. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm trying to take this episode seriously but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not only does this look like a really terrible pulp romance novel (trust me, I know my trashy romance novels, I bring along one on every vacation I take to do dramatic readings of), but oh my god, could the two of them look less enthused to be there? Angel looks either bored or like she's finally realized what a great pillow Bradley's chest makes an is all "yesssss, finally I can take a nap". (It does look like it makes a great pillow, let's not lie. Call me, Angel. Feel free to tell me alllll the details.) Bradley looks like he's trying not to cry and/or vomit. OH SHOW. OH ACTORS. YOU AMUSE ME SO MUCH WITH YOUR EFFORTS. It's kind of adorable! It's like this video, right?



See, the show is like the puppy and the floor is like heteronormitivity, and poor show, can't quite roll over and get its paws on solid ground. Only this time I'm rooting for the puppy to stay on his back forever. So I can rub its gay, gay widdle puppy tummy.


TWO:
So it's not, like, a secret to most people that I am STUPIDLY IN LOVE with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. STUPIDLY in love. I've nursed a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You. (Everyone else was all gaga over Heath Ledger. I had my eyes on the prize. Also, I was fourteen.) But for a while he was all going to college and having unfortunately long hair and so he has only recently re-surfaced into my consciousness, but he has, and with a vengeance.

Basically, if I had to make, like, a baseball card like thing of my ideal man, including looks, he would resemble Joseph Gordon-Levitt to a frankly creepy degree. And this card was created, let's remember, before I knew of him and during the time he was going through his greasy long-haired hiding-in-college thing and out of my consciousness. All the guys I've liked? Resemble him to, again, a creepy degree. If I met him in a coffee shop and he wasn't even famous I would break all my creepiness rules and pretty much throw myself at him bodily. He is that much exactly my type. (I've actually been refraining from ever doing a meme like [livejournal.com profile] ems did of my favorite hot guys because they all look like they could be related. JGL. Colin Morgan. Iker Casillas. Sufjan Stevens. Seriously, look them all up. The only varient is how much muscle mass they have.)

This is so unfair, you guys! Guys in real life aren't as cute as he is! Or as earnestly nerdy and pretentious! And he makes himself so stupidly accessible via his various internet outlets so all those walls you build up normally against liking a celebrity are really hard to keep up when everything seems so possible. (Which, of course, it isn't, because how many way hotter girls are there than me attempting to ensnare him using those very avenues? A LOT.)

So, if Joseph Gordon-Levitt would not mind, I would like for him to stop going to Lakers games. More specifically, Joseph, dearest, stop going to Lakers games looking so fucking cute I want to tackle you to the floor. Cease with the stripey socks that go with my stripey socks (that I am wearing right now! DAMMIT JGL)! Stop wearing horn-rimmed glasses! Which are a giant fucking nerdy pretentious kink of mine! Stop having dimples! Make your neck less nuzzlable! Don't have such gorgeous stubble! STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SMELL LIKE HEAVEN. I am attempting to quash this fantasy I have where we live in Cambridge and own two dogs (pitbull mixes and adopted, natch) and walk to the bakery every Sunday and go to all-organic farmer's markets and listen to records on vinyl and blog about it. YOU ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT. STOP RUINING REAL LIFE DUDES.

God you are so hot.


THREE:
Ever since Sherlock has started re-airing on PBS I've been nosing around Sherlock fandom a lot, because, well, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are one of the greatest archetypal couples of all time. Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is ridiculously endearing. ANYWAY. One of my favorite artists of any fandom I've ever been in is [livejournal.com profile] pollums. Her work is so gorgeous and stylized and amazing I can hardly stand it. I am, like, in physical contorted agony over how jealous I am of her talent. She's been doing sketches every day for November and she did this one of Sherlock and John kissing and oh my shit. OH MY GIDDY MAIDEN AUNT. I can't, you guys. I just can't. I cannot even. I. I give up. On life. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST AND BE REAL. I CLEARLY HAVE DONE VERY KIND THINGS TO DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY IN MY LIFE.

BRB STARING IN ADORATION FOR FOREVER.


FOUR:
I'm kind of stupidly excited by the fact that Jon Stewart is going to be on Rachel Maddow's show tomorrow. Like, looking-forward-to-it-all-week excited. Counting-down-the-hours excited. I may have to wear restrictive clothing to not injure myself from flailing somehow. I might not even wait until midnight and WATCH THE ENTIRE THING AS IT AIRS.

Oh, who am I kidding, that'll fuck with my nightly routine of Maddow at Midnight. BUT OH MY GOD WHO HAS TWO SUPER-LIBERAL THUMBS AND IS EXITED? THIS GIRL.


FIVE:
There was no new Cougar Town or Modern Family tonight because of the Country Music Awards. Aren't those award ceremonies usually on the weekends? FUCKING HILLBILLIES.
chibirhm: (It's two tickets to that thing you love!)
TRUE STORY.

So, life has been a bit of a downer lately, which I am not cool with. Being miserable blows big old chunks of... chunkiness. Therefore, I feel I should share some stuff that makes me happy. Is there ever a BAD reason to feel happy? Even if you're already happy? I THINK NOT.

Awesome Shit On Youtube!

Once upon a time, I was actually kind of a cool person. I listened to bands no one else had heard of and I was indier than thou and everyone wanted me to make them mix CDs. And now.... idk. My indie craziness has died a little. I sort of listen to mainstream indie stuff, when I listen to music at all. More often I like to have a TV show on in the background. But the point is, I would like to remind you all that at one point, I did not used to listen to exclusively to Top 40 bullshittery. And Florence + the Machine - I go on kicks of listening to her and reveling in her genius. But I think she's popular enough now I don't count as a special snowflake. THE POINT IS, if my jaded, snobby highschool indie music self saw my new favorite song, I would probably shoot myself in the face. BUT GUYS, THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE SONG EVERRRRRRRR:



Oh my god, I hate myself a little. This song is SO SLICK I can't even deal. It's so vague that every teenager in America is going to think it applies to them. I can HEAR the marketability in it. It's calculated and ridiculous and what the fuck ever, I've listened to this song like forty times today and I can't even feel ashamed through all the love in my heart.

Also, like, MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, I want a Bradley/Colin fanvid set to this. This was like, my first thought upon hearing it, along with what clips would go where. If I had any ability to create fanvids, I would do it myself. I don't care that the pronouns are wrong. I don't care that this applies to EVERY COUPLE EVER. I need this in my life. My birthday is December 17. GET ON THIS, PEOPLE.

This is like, my shameful Teenage Dream obsession 2.0. Speaking of which, the guy that made my favorite Party in the USA cover ever made mashup of Just The Way You Are and Teenage Dream. YOUTUBE YOU ARE THE BEST TO ME. EVER.

(Sidebar, the guy who does these covers would be super duper cute if he made fewer hammy faces. But he's still pretty cute.)

Also, on the subject of amazing fanvids, can someone please direct me to whoever was the genius behind THIS:



THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS NOT AMAZING AND PERFECT. THE SONG CHOICE! THE EDITING! MARSHALL AND LILY WANT TO FILL THE WORLD WITH SILLY LOVE SONGS! ASLKFJSLDKJF BARNEY'S BESOTTED LOOKS I WILL NEVER TIRE OF WHEN BARNEY HAS HEARTS IN HIS EYES FOR ROBIN. omg I know you guys think I have an allergy to heterosexual shipping but I SO DO NOT. (I just talk about them less because they actually happen.) BROTP FOR LIIIIIIIIFE. God I love them together. If the wedding they showed us at the beginning of the season on HIMYM isn't them, I'm gonna be mad. Actually, I'll live with it. I JUST WANT THOSE CRAZY KIDS TO WORK OUT, OKAY? THE WEDDING IS GIVING ME HOPES AND DREAMS THAT WILL INEVITABLY BE SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES WHILST CARTER AND BAYS LAUGH AT MY WEEPING REMAINS.

Using LJ Tokens!

So a while ago some super-kind anonymous soul gave me LJ tokens and every so often I'd look up and go "huh, I should use those to get more userpics" but every time I'd try they wouldn't let me use the tokens to pay, which was really irritating to me. But finally, finally, I got it to work. Now I just have to... find icons to fill up the spaces with. So! THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I am searching for good places to find icons, so please link me to your favorite communities. (I'm picky, but if you look at my current icons that should give you an idea of what I like.) I am searching for icons of the following:

30 Rock
How I Met Your Mother
Merlin (NEVER NOT LOOKING FOR MERLIN/MERLIN CAST ICONS. EVER.)
Community
Glee
Bones
Cougar Town?
Modern Family?
***JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT*** (I have had a constant crush on this guy since 10 Things I Hate About You. We took a brief break while he was doing all that indie stuff and had unfortunately long hair and 500 Days of Summer brought him back in my wheelhouse of DUDES I AM ALLOWED TO BONE AND NO MAN ALIVE CAN BLAME ME, EVEN IF WE ARE MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN. Inception elevated him from that to HIS PLACE ON THE LIST IS IRRELEVANT BECAUSE CLEARLY WE NEED TO HAVE BEEN MARRIED AS OF YESTERDAY SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH HIM WHENEVER I WANT. AND DO OTHER STUFF.

But seriously, I promise this isn't like a trendy thing because everyone else likes him now I'm asserting my prior claim. He is, much like Topher Grace, a man I shall carry in my heart forever. Only Topher Grace I want to carry more in my heart and JGL I want to carry more in my pants. And my heart. And all over. Oh my god. HE'S SO STUPIDLY AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE.)

Materialism! (VERY IMAGE HEAVY) )

Phew. That took... twelve hours longer than expected. Imaginary shopping sprees are tiring, y'all.
chibirhm: (This old heart is covered in glue.)
My First-World Reasons I am Miserable:

Uno! Impeding period. Always makes me super depressed/anxious. This month, I got to have an utterly unexplained panic attack over nothing on Sunday morning that lasted for three hours. That was three hours of uncontrollable shaking, crying, nausea, and mind-numbing terror for no reason. THREE. HOURS. Do you have any idea how INSANELY uncomfortable that is and how shaken that leaves you? IT FEELS TERRIBLE. It's like your soul vomiting. Only more painful.

Dos! EVERYONE, STOP DYING. I could emotionally handle the gay teen suicides (sort of). But I cannot handle them and then Tim Gunn making an It Gets Better video where he talks about how he tried to kill himself (TIM GUNN, MY HEART IS DELICATE AND FRAGILE AND YOU ARE MY FAVORITE), and then JGL's brother died, which I know shouldn't bother me but really, really does on two levels. The first being that whenever he'd make these tweets or tumblr posts about his brother it reminded me so strongly about how I feel about my older sister, and then my crazy over-empathy parts get involved and I start thinking about what would happen if one of my siblings died, and he was thirty-six and totally healthy! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO DIE AT THIRTY-SIX UNLESS THEY HAVE AN EXTREMELY GOOD REASON, LIKE BEING IN AN AVALANCHE, OKAY. THAT'S ONE OF MY RULES OF LIFE THAT KEEPS ME FROM TURNING INTO A PARANOID NEUROTIC MESS. (Also I feel really sad for JGL an his family and everyone, except I don't really know them or anything about the situation so it's kind of a secondary "oh, that's such a shame".)

Also, the couple whose cats I was going to watch while they went to Turkey cancelled their Turkey trip because it looks like his brother might bite it. Right before his daughter's wedding. And his brother is my parents' age. Seriously, everyone, less with the death! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.

Tres! Second week in a row of gray and rain. Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Quatro! I went to Target to try to replace my much beloved flats and they had these great shoes almost exactly like my old ones, but the 6.5s were too small and the 7s were too big. I've tried everywhere else - the local shoe store, DSW, Zappos... AND I HATE SHOPPING, YOU GUYS. I really, really fucking need new shoes. Why can't I just find new freaking shoes? And don't even get me started on my sneaker woes. All of my shoes are legit falling apart at the seams. Like that's not a turn of phrase, they are falling apart at the seams.

On top of no luck with shoes at Target, I also had no luck with finding bags (also falling apart), any clothes (red zone situation - all my clothing fits into one dark and one light wash easily, and the light wash isn't even full, and both of those are fifty percent pajamas), or the laundry detergent my mother asked me to pick up. Though I did manage to get myself eyeshadow because my old eyeshadow has been disintegrating everywhere. Woo...hoo. Clearly, a priority.

This trip to Target took up the part of the day where I was supposed to take the dog for a walk, too, and by time I got home I was overtired, cramping, cranky, freezing cold, and so instead I passed out on my couch for two hours. And then I felt guilty the rest of the night for going out when clearly I should have been staying home taking care of my baby. (For the record, I should not have, I just feel an irrational sense of guilt anyway, and I'm hormonal/Jewish, so it was semi-crippling. My dog forgave me within thirty seconds of scratching under her chin.)

Cinqo! This week's episode of Glee was so depressing I can't even talk about it without legit feeling queasy. Usually, Glee is my special happy fun time full of campy music and devoid of logic or emotion. Robin's boyfriend comes over, Ella's over, Robin's home, we all curl up on the couch and coo at Finn and Artie because they are too precious to exist and where were those boys in high school when we were there? It's good times. TONIGHT WAS NOT GOOD TIMES, GLEE. IT WAS TAKE MY TERRIFYING WORST FEARS ABOUT PARENTS DROPPING NEARLY-DEAD AND MANIPULATING MY EMOTIONS FOR AN HOUR. AN HOUR! EVEN FINN BEING ADORABLE ABOUT FINDING JESUS ON HIS GRILLED CHEESE DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

THAT MEANS I FELT PRETTY DAMN SHITTY ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, FYI.

Sies! Ever since my Fun Marathon of Terror, my stomach has been misbehaving terribly. The latest thing it has decided I cannot eat without insane nausea/indigestion? Apples. And sister and her boyfriend just went apple picking! My mother just made applesauce and apple tart! Apples are everywhere! It's fucking October in fucking New England! And I love apples!

Stomach, you and I are not on good terms right now.


YOUR JOB: Do not hug me! Do not pet my hair! Give me fun stuff! Happy stuff! Rec me fics of adorable boys in love! Youtube videos! Find adorable fuzzy things from CuteOverload backlogs! Write me comment fics!

Also if one or two of you could come over and do my laundry/the rest of my reading for class tomorrow/make it so I don't have to go to class tomorrow, I'd really like that.
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