chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

  • Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.

  • THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:


  • Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.

  • Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.

    Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.

  • Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
    and it makes arthur want to stab things
    can cranky gerbils be made nice
    fuzzy little creatures dancing around
    gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
    joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
    you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!

    GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE.

  • HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:


    I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.



Also, a while back [livejournal.com profile] i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.



ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

BEEEEEEEP.
chibirhm: (Strike a pose there's nothing to it.)
ALSDKFJSLKDJ GOLDEN GLOBES TONIGHT!!!! Guys, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I fucking love the Globes. I mean, I'm a fan of all awards shows because people in pretty dresses, but the Globes are my favorite. Movies! And television! EVERYONE ALL IN ONE PLACE! Plus I am, like, way more into Inception than I realized, because I was bored on Friday and watching the fucking Critic's Choice awards, which is like the bellybutton lint of awards shows, and I got all squealy and flappy-handed when Inception was even mentioned. Which is weird, because when I first watched it I didn't feel the way I do about most of my favorite movies, where I walk away from it like "WOW THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING I WANT TO WRITE ODES TO IT". Instead it sort of wormed its way into my heart so when I did a re-watch of it last week because I was bored/in the mood I spent the ENTIRE TIME squealing and going I HAD NO IDEA I FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS MOVIE BUT OH MY GOD I WANT TO MARRY IT AND HAVE SOME BABIES WITH IT ALSKJFLSKJ.

Another thing that totally snuck up on me is how deeply I adore red carpet fashion. But this year, it's gone from "I enjoy making catty comments" to a full-blown obsession. It started when it was New Year's Eve and E! had a marathon of the Fashion Police from last year's awards shows, and I was bored so I was like LA LA I THINK I WILL GO LOOK UP THIS YEAR'S LINES AND PLAY DRESS-UP WITH MYSELF. Only then I kept looking. And looking. And cut to now where I literally have spent days and days creating a full-blown wardrobe for myself. Which at first I wasn't going to share, because it made me feel really dorky and lame and totally out of character, but several people assured me they wanted to see, and you know what, fuck it, I'm stupidly excited. SO I WILL NOW SUBJECT YOU TO MY FASHION SENSE.

STRIKE A POSE, THERE'S NOTHING TO IT. )


Edit: Iiiiii am officially creeped out.

So I've mentioned before that it sort of breaks my heart/amazes me a little how Joe and I have the same taste in stuff, right? I mean, granted, it's mostly stuff a lot of people (especially pretentious people) like, but more often than not, we agree. And I find that charming but not creepy because, well, a lot of people like Great Lake Swimmers and Oliver Sacks and stripey socks. Maybe not all at the same time, but still! It was more endearing that we had stuff in common than oh god get out of my brain. Except now he has officially reached levels of what the fucking what?!!? Because I started this post last night, and this morning when I woke up and went through my tumblr dash backlog/twitter, I saw that Joe updated. About loving Jon Brion.

Most of you are now going "who the fuck is Jon Brion?" THIS IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE, BECAUSE HE IS REALLY FUCKING OBSCURE. He's an instrumentalist/composer/producer who's one of those guys who has his fingers in a million indie pies, but you wouldn't know unless you specifically knew to look for him. He's most well known for composing the scores to exactly three movies: Magnolia, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I ♥ Huckabees, none of which are exactly classics everybody has watched, let alone listened to the scores to. Except me. Because I fell utterly in love with the Eternal Sunshine score, which is very, very strange, considering that usually music without words is not my deal. I don't have Magnolia (sorry, I'm not the hugest fan of Aimee Mann), but I do have the I ♥ Huckabees soundtrack, in spite of never seeing it, because I just love Jon Brion that fucking much. I love him so much, in fact, that in addition to wishing to one day have him compose the score to my life, he is my ringtone. In fact, he is several of my ringtones. The only thing he isn't on my phone is my alarm clock, because then I'd just stay in bed listening instead of getting up to take my pills and turn the damn thing off. And the reason I chose him, in addition to the fact that I straight-up just love the guy? HE'S SO OBSCURE I WILL NEVER CONFUSE MY RINGTONE WITH ANYONE ELSE'S.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS? WHAT THE FRIGGDY FRACK IS GOING ON HERE.

chibirhm: (What would you do if I sang out a tune?)
A few quick things!

ONE: My laptop's fan is misaligned again and keeps hitting something and sparking, unless I keep it on a totally flat surface and do not move it. Which happened around this time last year, too. I could send it in to Lenovo to get it fixed, but the last time I did that it took them nearly two weeks to do, which is totally unacceptable. I can't live without my laptop for two weeks! And the thing is, you can track your comptuer's progress online, it took them a day to fix it, most of those two weeks were "processing and shipping". Well fuck that shit. I could drive to the hardware-fixing headquarters in Indiana, watch them fix my baby, and get it back sooner if I did the shipping myself, by carrying it on my person. Does anyone know of a place that would do hardware fixes I could just drive it to and get it back at the end of the afternoon? Like, a chain? Or somewhere in the Boston area? This is the one area I will concede Macs are superior. They drive me crazy and I hate everything about them, but damn if that genius bar in every mall isn't convenient and efficient.

TWO: Last night we had leftover lentil soup so I left some lentils for Gus, but when I looked in the cage a little later, Charlie was eating one! HURRAH, CHARLIE. YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE GERBIL.

THREE: Everyone who didn't link me to the Ooh Commander McGarrett comic is fired from life. I will never tire of fandom adaptations of this comic. Never!

FOUR: So, this year's United States of Pop mashup came out:



For those of you who missed the extreme privilege of this last year, this is basically a guy who takes the top 25 pop hits of the year (as determined by Billboard) and mashes them all together into one SUPER SONG.

Now, the thing is, I'm a dork. I can't just listen to this song, I have to start thinking about it. And I was thinking, these things are actually a kind of interesting from an intellectual point of view. I mean if you think about why people listen to music, it's not just because it's catchy, it often has to do with it having some sort of deeper meaning for them. I don't think it's exactly a disputed fact that the arts are reflective of the state of the society it comes from. So what if I compared it to last year's? Because there are definite trends that changed visually in the music videos, and in the lyrics, and in the whole damn tone of the thing. It's like a mini-zeitgeist! It could be so cool!

On the other hand, it's really super pretentious. It is like I am purposefully peeing on the mindless pop parade. I was asking [livejournal.com profile] puckling about it and she was like "you used the word 'zeitgeist'. If you need to use the word 'zeitgeist' to explain your concept, it's pretentious."

But... I kind of want to be pretentious! I don't know, is this interesting to anyone else but me? PLEASE ANSWER THIS POLL AND TELL ME.

[Poll #1662070]

FIVE: I entirely blame [livejournal.com profile] cherrybina for this, but I am obsessed with Google Analytics. I installed it on this LJ and it's kind of the greatest thing ever. I'm fond of the fact that aside from searching for my username, people find me most often by googling "bradley and colin in love". Which I did, and I'm the second result. With a lot of sub-results. NOT GOING TO LIE, THIS IS KIND OF AWESOME.

But I think my favorite part of doodling around with Google Analytics is the map overlay. I have people visit this site from so many cool places. Now I know where a lot of my LJ friends are from, so I can look at a dot and be like "okay, that's so and so", but some of the places are really surprising. Like, did you know I'm popular in Glasgow? I've gotten sixteen hits from Glasgow. Glasgow! Who the frack is in Glasgow? Apparently someone(s) who thinks I'm awesome, that's who. Another place I'm randomly popular is in Tampere, Finland. At first I thought that must have been [livejournal.com profile] whisperwords from when she went to visit her family there, but no, it was after she got back that someone there started visiting my site once a day. Do you see what I mean by cool? SO COOL. Though I think the coolest is that I have two people who have returned and so clearly they're reading, who are from Calcutta, India. India! THIS IS SO INDESCRIBABLY BOSS.

My only problem with Google Analytics is that I don't know how to filter out my own IP. Is there a way to do that? Because between answering comments and reading my friendslist, I am skewing the data like crazy. I am a quarter of my own hits, for serious. Which makes sense, but I don't care about how much time I spend at my own journal (answer: TOO MUCH, CLEARLY). HELP, SAVVY PEOPLE?
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:



WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
So I know I said I was going to have my ~ultimate both parts of the finale~ Merlin recap on Wednesday. AND I MEANT FOR THAT TO BE TRUE. But then on Thursday I was busy because I had a doctor's appointment and work, which I didn't finish. And then I was like "oh, well, I'll finish the column Friday morning!", except I forgot something: lately I've been sleeping like shit. I can't get my brain to turn off until like for or five in the morning, at which point it will ONLY shut off and I will fall asleep if I leave my laptop on and playing a television show. (Most weirdly specific insomnia ever?!) And then my alarm goes off at ten every morning - partially so I don't sleep the day away, but mostly because I've found if I don't take my medications by ten than the ADD stuff will keep me awake. Irony! But I've talked to my mom and consulted various doctors before about how to fall asleep easier at night, since it's always been a problem, and everything I've looked up says you need to set a schedule for yourself, including what time you wake up. Which I do! It just doesn't seem to be working.

The point is, I'm operating on very, very little sleep and the column took me the entire day to write. It was actually sort of traumatic and involved tears because I was so frustrated and really insanely overtired (I think in the past three days I've gotten maybe 15 hours of sleep?) Which is actually ironic, because the article was on the latest episode of Bones where Brennan also, like, doesn't sleep. LIFE, ART, BLAH BLAH BLAH. The point is, I'll get to it. Eventually. I'm not exactly worried, though, because is there ever going to be a point where you all are like "no, I really don't feel like getting excited over Merlin and Arthur's big gay love"??? I THINK NOT.

ANYWAY A FEW THINGS THAT ARE DELIGHTFUL TO TIDE YOU OVER:

Involves pictures, cut to save your friendslist. )

CINCO
This is important enough to leave outside of a cut, so - I am not doing the Holiday Love Meme. I'm just... not a fan of love memes. They make me feel increasingly awkward. If you want to leave me some love, you are welcome to do it in this entry or really, at any time of the year without having even the slightest patina of an excuse. If you were really looking forward to what I was going to write about you or for any reason feel your holiday season would be improved by me verbally validating our totally awesome e-bond, please consider this my open invitation to request just such a thing without being judged even the teeniest of tiny bits.

SIES
...and now I'm going to take a nap like a motherfucking boss.
chibirhm: (JGL is my future husband)
So as requested, I'm working on an Art Nouveau spam. It'll probably be up on Friday because a) I have to edit the pictures so they're all the same size and not RIDICULOUSLY HUGE and the ones in series are all put together. Plus, it's taking an annoyingly long time to find artists. You would think they'd all be listed on Wikipedia, but no. I have some serious complaints about the Wikipedia article. Half the artists they link to are so obscure there's only a sentence written about them, and a good deal of them aren't Art Nouveau at all but Art Deco. A bunch are just... I don't even know what, but there is nothing Art Nouveau-y about them. Like Klimt. Why is Klimt listed as being Art Nouveau when he clearly is not? SHAPE UP WIKIPEDIA.

/PRETENTIOUS

Anyway, while I was taking a break and nosing around tumblr, like I do, I came across this picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt:



NONE OF YOU THOUGHT TO ALERT ME TO THE EXISTENCE OF THIS PICTURE? NO ONE AT ALL? YOU ARE ALL FIRED. FIRED.

...aaaaaand that's really all. This entry is pretty much an excuse to drool over the above picture and also a shameless request for people to play with me. Comment party? Anyone want to talk about how great Raising Hope was last night? Slash how hard they want to ship Jimmy/Sabrina with me? Or how awesome that chick from Garfunkel and Oates is in it? Want me to convince you to watch Hawaii 5-0 so I have someone to keyboard mash to in realtime? Anybody at all? Beuller?
chibirhm: (Je ne comprends pas - je suis anglais)
Okay, so I have been warning you guys for a while that I am, uh, how do you say, a giant pretentious douchebag. I am like the most earnest of earnest hipsters. My honest love of things like Wes Anderson movies, indie music, and Chuck Taylors are only made more ironic by the fact that I also love Lady Gaga. My lack of effort put into being a hipster only intensifies my hipsterness! This is a fact I am forced to accept about myself.

So, Alex O'Loughlin, right? He's in Hawaii 5-0 and he's cute, but he isn't like, here are my panties, they are soaking with a combination of water I used to put out the fire you lit in them as well as my lady juices. And I was very comfortable with this fact until I saw this picture:

What is this I don't even. )

I'm not sure if this makes my life dream of marrying Joseph Gordon-Levitt more feasible because oh my god, wouldn't we be so adorably pretentious together, or if perhaps it should be prevented because can you imagine our children? The poor bastards wouldn't have a chance. They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

You may begin your mockery, now.
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
chibirhm: (The only ones for me are the mad ones.)
What I mean, when I say that, is that I don't really have anything to say but have a lot of links sitting at the top of my whatever that bar is called where there are bookmarks and shit that are going "YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT ME". So. Uh. Here is like a random list of random stuff? IDK. Mostly I'm just tired of these links hanging out, bored, and miss having comments in my inbox.

ONE:
So, I'm still not watching this week's episode of Merlin, but I did go look at the promo photos (which are the first Arthur/Gwen promo photos so fandom was all abuzz) and OH MY GOD. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm trying to take this episode seriously but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not only does this look like a really terrible pulp romance novel (trust me, I know my trashy romance novels, I bring along one on every vacation I take to do dramatic readings of), but oh my god, could the two of them look less enthused to be there? Angel looks either bored or like she's finally realized what a great pillow Bradley's chest makes an is all "yesssss, finally I can take a nap". (It does look like it makes a great pillow, let's not lie. Call me, Angel. Feel free to tell me alllll the details.) Bradley looks like he's trying not to cry and/or vomit. OH SHOW. OH ACTORS. YOU AMUSE ME SO MUCH WITH YOUR EFFORTS. It's kind of adorable! It's like this video, right?



See, the show is like the puppy and the floor is like heteronormitivity, and poor show, can't quite roll over and get its paws on solid ground. Only this time I'm rooting for the puppy to stay on his back forever. So I can rub its gay, gay widdle puppy tummy.


TWO:
So it's not, like, a secret to most people that I am STUPIDLY IN LOVE with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. STUPIDLY in love. I've nursed a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You. (Everyone else was all gaga over Heath Ledger. I had my eyes on the prize. Also, I was fourteen.) But for a while he was all going to college and having unfortunately long hair and so he has only recently re-surfaced into my consciousness, but he has, and with a vengeance.

Basically, if I had to make, like, a baseball card like thing of my ideal man, including looks, he would resemble Joseph Gordon-Levitt to a frankly creepy degree. And this card was created, let's remember, before I knew of him and during the time he was going through his greasy long-haired hiding-in-college thing and out of my consciousness. All the guys I've liked? Resemble him to, again, a creepy degree. If I met him in a coffee shop and he wasn't even famous I would break all my creepiness rules and pretty much throw myself at him bodily. He is that much exactly my type. (I've actually been refraining from ever doing a meme like [livejournal.com profile] ems did of my favorite hot guys because they all look like they could be related. JGL. Colin Morgan. Iker Casillas. Sufjan Stevens. Seriously, look them all up. The only varient is how much muscle mass they have.)

This is so unfair, you guys! Guys in real life aren't as cute as he is! Or as earnestly nerdy and pretentious! And he makes himself so stupidly accessible via his various internet outlets so all those walls you build up normally against liking a celebrity are really hard to keep up when everything seems so possible. (Which, of course, it isn't, because how many way hotter girls are there than me attempting to ensnare him using those very avenues? A LOT.)

So, if Joseph Gordon-Levitt would not mind, I would like for him to stop going to Lakers games. More specifically, Joseph, dearest, stop going to Lakers games looking so fucking cute I want to tackle you to the floor. Cease with the stripey socks that go with my stripey socks (that I am wearing right now! DAMMIT JGL)! Stop wearing horn-rimmed glasses! Which are a giant fucking nerdy pretentious kink of mine! Stop having dimples! Make your neck less nuzzlable! Don't have such gorgeous stubble! STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SMELL LIKE HEAVEN. I am attempting to quash this fantasy I have where we live in Cambridge and own two dogs (pitbull mixes and adopted, natch) and walk to the bakery every Sunday and go to all-organic farmer's markets and listen to records on vinyl and blog about it. YOU ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT. STOP RUINING REAL LIFE DUDES.

God you are so hot.


THREE:
Ever since Sherlock has started re-airing on PBS I've been nosing around Sherlock fandom a lot, because, well, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are one of the greatest archetypal couples of all time. Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is ridiculously endearing. ANYWAY. One of my favorite artists of any fandom I've ever been in is [livejournal.com profile] pollums. Her work is so gorgeous and stylized and amazing I can hardly stand it. I am, like, in physical contorted agony over how jealous I am of her talent. She's been doing sketches every day for November and she did this one of Sherlock and John kissing and oh my shit. OH MY GIDDY MAIDEN AUNT. I can't, you guys. I just can't. I cannot even. I. I give up. On life. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST AND BE REAL. I CLEARLY HAVE DONE VERY KIND THINGS TO DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY IN MY LIFE.

BRB STARING IN ADORATION FOR FOREVER.


FOUR:
I'm kind of stupidly excited by the fact that Jon Stewart is going to be on Rachel Maddow's show tomorrow. Like, looking-forward-to-it-all-week excited. Counting-down-the-hours excited. I may have to wear restrictive clothing to not injure myself from flailing somehow. I might not even wait until midnight and WATCH THE ENTIRE THING AS IT AIRS.

Oh, who am I kidding, that'll fuck with my nightly routine of Maddow at Midnight. BUT OH MY GOD WHO HAS TWO SUPER-LIBERAL THUMBS AND IS EXITED? THIS GIRL.


FIVE:
There was no new Cougar Town or Modern Family tonight because of the Country Music Awards. Aren't those award ceremonies usually on the weekends? FUCKING HILLBILLIES.
chibirhm: (It's two tickets to that thing you love!)
TRUE STORY.

So, life has been a bit of a downer lately, which I am not cool with. Being miserable blows big old chunks of... chunkiness. Therefore, I feel I should share some stuff that makes me happy. Is there ever a BAD reason to feel happy? Even if you're already happy? I THINK NOT.

Awesome Shit On Youtube!

Once upon a time, I was actually kind of a cool person. I listened to bands no one else had heard of and I was indier than thou and everyone wanted me to make them mix CDs. And now.... idk. My indie craziness has died a little. I sort of listen to mainstream indie stuff, when I listen to music at all. More often I like to have a TV show on in the background. But the point is, I would like to remind you all that at one point, I did not used to listen to exclusively to Top 40 bullshittery. And Florence + the Machine - I go on kicks of listening to her and reveling in her genius. But I think she's popular enough now I don't count as a special snowflake. THE POINT IS, if my jaded, snobby highschool indie music self saw my new favorite song, I would probably shoot myself in the face. BUT GUYS, THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE SONG EVERRRRRRRR:



Oh my god, I hate myself a little. This song is SO SLICK I can't even deal. It's so vague that every teenager in America is going to think it applies to them. I can HEAR the marketability in it. It's calculated and ridiculous and what the fuck ever, I've listened to this song like forty times today and I can't even feel ashamed through all the love in my heart.

Also, like, MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, I want a Bradley/Colin fanvid set to this. This was like, my first thought upon hearing it, along with what clips would go where. If I had any ability to create fanvids, I would do it myself. I don't care that the pronouns are wrong. I don't care that this applies to EVERY COUPLE EVER. I need this in my life. My birthday is December 17. GET ON THIS, PEOPLE.

This is like, my shameful Teenage Dream obsession 2.0. Speaking of which, the guy that made my favorite Party in the USA cover ever made mashup of Just The Way You Are and Teenage Dream. YOUTUBE YOU ARE THE BEST TO ME. EVER.

(Sidebar, the guy who does these covers would be super duper cute if he made fewer hammy faces. But he's still pretty cute.)

Also, on the subject of amazing fanvids, can someone please direct me to whoever was the genius behind THIS:



THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS NOT AMAZING AND PERFECT. THE SONG CHOICE! THE EDITING! MARSHALL AND LILY WANT TO FILL THE WORLD WITH SILLY LOVE SONGS! ASLKFJSLDKJF BARNEY'S BESOTTED LOOKS I WILL NEVER TIRE OF WHEN BARNEY HAS HEARTS IN HIS EYES FOR ROBIN. omg I know you guys think I have an allergy to heterosexual shipping but I SO DO NOT. (I just talk about them less because they actually happen.) BROTP FOR LIIIIIIIIFE. God I love them together. If the wedding they showed us at the beginning of the season on HIMYM isn't them, I'm gonna be mad. Actually, I'll live with it. I JUST WANT THOSE CRAZY KIDS TO WORK OUT, OKAY? THE WEDDING IS GIVING ME HOPES AND DREAMS THAT WILL INEVITABLY BE SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES WHILST CARTER AND BAYS LAUGH AT MY WEEPING REMAINS.

Using LJ Tokens!

So a while ago some super-kind anonymous soul gave me LJ tokens and every so often I'd look up and go "huh, I should use those to get more userpics" but every time I'd try they wouldn't let me use the tokens to pay, which was really irritating to me. But finally, finally, I got it to work. Now I just have to... find icons to fill up the spaces with. So! THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I am searching for good places to find icons, so please link me to your favorite communities. (I'm picky, but if you look at my current icons that should give you an idea of what I like.) I am searching for icons of the following:

30 Rock
How I Met Your Mother
Merlin (NEVER NOT LOOKING FOR MERLIN/MERLIN CAST ICONS. EVER.)
Community
Glee
Bones
Cougar Town?
Modern Family?
***JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT*** (I have had a constant crush on this guy since 10 Things I Hate About You. We took a brief break while he was doing all that indie stuff and had unfortunately long hair and 500 Days of Summer brought him back in my wheelhouse of DUDES I AM ALLOWED TO BONE AND NO MAN ALIVE CAN BLAME ME, EVEN IF WE ARE MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN. Inception elevated him from that to HIS PLACE ON THE LIST IS IRRELEVANT BECAUSE CLEARLY WE NEED TO HAVE BEEN MARRIED AS OF YESTERDAY SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH HIM WHENEVER I WANT. AND DO OTHER STUFF.

But seriously, I promise this isn't like a trendy thing because everyone else likes him now I'm asserting my prior claim. He is, much like Topher Grace, a man I shall carry in my heart forever. Only Topher Grace I want to carry more in my heart and JGL I want to carry more in my pants. And my heart. And all over. Oh my god. HE'S SO STUPIDLY AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE.)

Materialism! (VERY IMAGE HEAVY) )

Phew. That took... twelve hours longer than expected. Imaginary shopping sprees are tiring, y'all.
chibirhm: (Just a girl on a slow pony home.)
So for those of you who don't know or live under rocks or what-the-fuck-ever, I'm really amazingly picky about soundtracks to things. Like, really, really, really picky. Not only does it have to sound right, the lyrics have to be right. And not just one verse, all the lyrics. Or almost all of them. Because yeah, I'm really that big of a snob over soundtracks and yes, I do judge people negatively when they do not live up to my soundtrack standards. I have no idea why I'm so hardcore about soundtracks as opposed to say, morals, but I am. I think I judge people more negatively for making bad soundtracks than I do for them running over kittens, which is a pretty sad statement on my value system. It makes me mildly ashamed of myself.

Anyways, so back when I watched Juno and I, of course, loved it, I was really disappointed to not love the soundtrack. I mean, I loved about a quarter of the songs, but it wasn't right in a way I couldn't name. The lyrics were wrong and the sound was slightly off and it just wasn't right and it ticked me the hell off. So naturally, I decided, fuck the fact that there are not one but two Juno soundtracks (officially). I am going to make a third one. And furthermore, my third one will be awesome. Potentially the awesomest of all three soundtracks.

Also, it gave me an excuse to create a mix that was really super indie just for the hell of it, which, hello, I love to do.

Massive, huge, amazingly heartfelt thanks go to [livejournal.com profile] jlowe64, for giving me the Juno soundtrack in the first place, always listening to my bitching, and pointing me in the direction of whatever font or song I came whining to him about missing, [livejournal.com profile] whisperwords for being my wifey and listening to my pretentious ranting and pretending thinking it was hilarious, [livejournal.com profile] evergleam83 for giving me XOXO, Panda, [livejournal.com profile] paintmarks for beta-listening to the soundtrack back in the day when it was totally different and assuring me it was awesome, even though I ended up changing it completely, and to [livejournal.com profile] lunapluvia, for being my sibling-in-arms of twee indie asshattery, for introducing me to and subsequently sending me the entire Math & Physics Club CD, and, yet again, for listening to my ridiculous ranting.

Also, I would like to state for the record (record, hah! I'm hilarious), that I'm immensely pleased with how the cover art turned out and how I ended up not using brown and various derivatives of the color of really attractive poo. Go me! I feel I've grown as a human being.

The Year In Review - An(other) Alternative Juno Soundtrack )
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