chibirhm: (Another day in the Bartlett White House.)
Ugh, time to kill until work. I should be writing this short essay that I've been working on that actually has some promise, except I'm too bored to write. Have I mentioned Too Bored To Write feeling before? BECAUSE IT IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. SO! I am now going to share with you the mishmash of links I have acquired, and you're going to entertain me in my comments section, and you will enjoy it, goddamn.

Excellent spam! Includes pretty dresses, memes, and a kitten and a puppy in love with each other. )
chibirhm: (I'd be lost without my blogger.)
So, this happened:



[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: I LOVE BRITISH PEOPLE
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: THEY ARE A LOVELY NATION IT IS TRUE
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: They're just like TRA LA LA SEXUALITY WOT
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: I LIKE TO THINK THEY ALL SAY THIS WHILE DRINKING TEA WITH THEIR PINKIES STUCK OUT
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: EXACTLY
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: I LOVE THAT EVERY BRITISH PERSON I'VE TALKED TO
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: CARES NOT A WHIT ABOUT WHAT A MAN DOES WITH HIS PENIS
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: BUT IS DEADLY SERIOUS ABOUT DIGESTIVES
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: AND WHEN THE MILK SHOULD GO IN
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: THIS IS APPARENTLY AN IMPORTANT THING ABOUT TEA
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: THEIR PRIORITIES = MY PRIORITIES
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: OR SHOULD I SAY
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: PRIORI-TEAS
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK
[livejournal.com profile] chibirhm: ...you're pretending not to know me anymore, aren't you?
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: yes
[livejournal.com profile] puckling: it was the Hyucks that did it
chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

SPAMMITY SPAM SPAM. )
chibirhm: (Thumbs up for America!)
Urgh, the first week back to real life after the holidays, why must you suck so hard and be so boring? I keep meaning to update, I do, but by time I'm finished with my to-do list for the day it's late and I'm tired and I'm like "aw, fuck it". It's been a long week of cleaning this and moving that there and calling that doctor and re-scheduling that appointment and trying to sign up for this class only to realize that's the one night I can't go so attempting to get permission to take this other class blah blah telephone calls blah blah blah. There's no way even I, the master of making ordinary shit sound fake-exciting, can make that fake-exciting.

The most exciting stuff to happen to me are the four following things:

ONE - I have been having cracktacular fandom mashup dreams. I don't remember most of them, I just remember that they were fandom-y. But the one I do remember was last night's, which started with me and JGL somewhere where he was explaining what the shit his now second-to-last tweet meant. (He wrote "THE TREE OF LIFE", allcaps included, which I spent a bunch of time puzzling over. Did he see a trailer and therefore was excited for the upcoming film? Did he get drunk on Manaschevitz and have a reunion with old Hebrew School buddies and they were drunkenly singing that horrible song that's been stuck in my head ever since? (IT IS A TREE OF LIFE TO THEM THAT HOLD FAST TO IT AND ALL OF ITS SUPPORTERS ARE [clap] HAP-PY! Sing with me, fellow Jews. I can't have gone to the only Hebrew School on the planet that inflicted that monstrosity upon their students.) Was he just drunk and putting together random words because he could? I wish I could remember my dream, because I just have so many questions, real!Joe.)

Then somehow I was in this game with BBC!John and Sherlock, and it was like an escape the room game (been playing WAY too many of those) but had the same rules as the dreams in Inception. But we couldn't kill ourselves because it would compromise the investigation. Only I kept ruining that by accident and Sherlock was mad and eventually somehow this brought John and Sherlock together enough to admit their feelings and make out a lot. Which was cute for a few seconds, but then got awkward, so I went to walk around, only to find Ryan Murphy had left me a spray-painted graffiti note saying he'd come across my writing on the internet, loved it, and wanted me to move out to LA and start writing Glee with him. And then I woke up, and Dearest by Buddy Holly was stuck in my head.

Qu'est-ce que le quoi?

There are two types of dreams, in my experience, the ones where your subconscious tells you something meaningful and the ones where it's just throwing all the leftover shit together for the day and hoping you just roll with it. This week I am clearly taking a hefty sample of column B.

TWO - So, Merlin fandom, this is coming out in March:



If I don't see every variety and pairing of Sim getting it on and Sim babies, I'm gonna be disappointed in you, is all I'm saying.

THREE - Two nights ago I stayed up until 5 AM attempting to explain American politics to [livejournal.com profile] alexi_lupin and [livejournal.com profile] mcgooglykins, which, as always, just boils down to me explaining the whole American dream/bootstraps phenomenon. And when I explain that, I have never met a non-American who didn't go that is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Because it is. And it sort of made me like, aw, America, why are you such a shitty country? Why do I still love you more than anything?

But then I was browsing the Best of Wikipedia archives to see if I came across anything cool, and I found the perfect example of why America is my favorite. It's because we have a Supreme Court case dedicated entirely to arguing if tomatoes legally count as a fruit or vegetable.

Is there any other country in the universe that would be that wholly ridiculous? No! (Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.) Only in America would we fight the Supreme Court for the right to declare tomatoes a vegetable because that's how they're used, and besides, it would get us out of that pesky tariff.

OH CRAZY COUNTRY OF MINE, NEVER STOP BEING ADORABLE.

FOUR - for no reason I can discern, my bosses bought and sent me S2 of Merlin. Was it for my birthday? An addition to my Christmas bonus? They neither said when I asked nor left a note/return address with a name in it, which worried me because I forgot what town they live in an was like OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS THAT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, IS THIS DVD TRAPPED?!?!? Thank Jesus for reverse address check-up, or I'd have been full-on Admiral Ackbar-ing it for way, way longer. Also, thank God for the best bosses ever. Seriously, the entire disc set? AW YOU GUYS. THIS MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF SALARY.

So yeah, homes. Crazy week! Because that's how I roll.
chibirhm: (Time for the reckoning.)
Ugh, it's the worst day of the year, aka, the first day back from the holidays where you sit down to write your to-do list of all that shit you've been putting off because fuck it, it was the holidays, and realize how much you have to do and how much it sucks. My list mostly involves making lots of frustrating phone-tag calls to people I don't really want to have to call in the first place because I know the answers they're going to give me are going to spawn about eight more things I have to do, doing chores I've been putting off forever (picking up messes, various stages of laundry, dishes), and fussing over a short story idea I had that was (gasp) in no way related to fandom, and therefore may be actually publishable or shareable with my parents, who always say they want to read my fanfiction, but who I have completely banned from doing so, because as much as no boundaries exist in my family, there are a few, dude. Really.

Oh, the glamorous life of a part-time blogger, part-time student, full-time writer who will probably end up being so poor I live with my parents until I die because I am struggling with my "craft".

On the plus side, CBS in all their infinite wisdom is immediately jumping back into Hawaii 5-0 episodes with none of this January hiatus madness. Of course this means a long, painful hiatus later (god I am so obnoxious to be around when I'm cranky, can someone punch me?), but for now let's focus on the awesome - ten hours until a new episode which, by virtue of being an episode of Hawaii 5-0, will be chock full of badassery and homoeroticism - two of my favorite things in the world! Also, A NOTE TO ANYONE WHO WATCHES HAWAII 5-0 LIVE DURING EASTERN STANDARD TIME - want to livechat with me? I have AIM and GChat and it involves a lot of keymashing, inability to turn off my capslock, and snarky one-liners. GOOD TIMES. LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE UP FOR IT.

Speaking of gayness and Hawaii, Scott and Alex, what are you doing. What, what, what are you doing. Buying surfboards together?! Could you be any more married? I'm trying to refrain from further delving into RPS, but when you go surfboard shopping together in addition to all your other various shenanigans, it makes it very difficult for my brain to take, okay?

And now, to do dishes. Woo... hoo. Though before I go - for those of you wondering, last night, even though I was tired and didn't want to? Brushed my teeth. Like a boss.
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Happy New Year's everyone! I'm not fond of New Year's because I think it's a generally dumb holiday (it's been a year since that arbitrarily chosen day we celebrated last year! Hurrah!), but I have made the resolution to stop being so damn lazy at night and actually brush my fucking teeth every night, which half the time I don't do because my teeth "don't feel dirty" and I'm a disgusting slob. It's gross. It's so gross. I need to get on that. Though I failed with the one night I had to start, because I closed my eyes for two seconds waiting for a download to finish and next thing I know my mom's come down at 5 AM to turn off the light in the living room because I fell asleep (in a really uncomfortable position). So yeah, teeth brushing did not happen so much. I have asked my various animals their new year's resolutions as well. Charlie vows to chew ALL the cardboard, Gus wants to become a big boy and explore brand new couches that he has yet to poop on, and Ella wants her belly rubbed for at least three hours a day. I think that they'll probably all be relatively successful, too.

I've also been watching How I Met Your Mother with Evan (twin brother, for you newbies), who's home from college, and really, really wanted to marathon it. So obvs, I am pimping the show out like whoa, because at least once a day I make a verbal How I Met Your Mother reference and everyone in my family stares at me weird. Mostly it's great, except for the fact that Evan is romantically retarded. Like, I love him, but he really, really is. (Which is why I always use him as an argument for Bradley/Colin, because if even he looks at two dudes and thinks they're fucking/want to be, he's usually right.) I could bore you with lots of examples but I will just settle on this: we're almost done with Season 1 and Evan still thinks that Ted and Robin are The Most Perfect For Each Other Couple Ever. (And yes, he still thought that after seeing Zip Zip Zip. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN'S BRAIN.)

My reaction was roughly as follows:



I never re-watch any episodes past Mary the Paralegal because it's all Ted and Robin getting together (yuck) and Marshall and Lily temporarily breaking up (MY HEART IS BROKEN) it's just like why would I ever do that to myself? And I can just tell he's going to be cheering and beaming. WHILE MARSHALL AND LILY BREAK UP. E TU, BRUTE?

Also, I am concerned for that boy's romantic future.

And in conclusion, link dump! The... whatever it's called, that row where you can drag links for quick reference, is getting crowded, and it's entirely filled with links that are in regards to Men I Find Ridiculously Endearing And Delightful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
  • It sounds really lame, but honestly, if you have ever been a fan of Monsieur Cumberbatch, you should listen to him "sing" Candle in the Wind. OH CUMBERSNATCH, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE THE OCEAN.
  • I'm starting to be seriously concerned that there's some sort of computer chip implanted in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brain that compels him to be overwhelmingly, ridiculously endearing at exactly the right intervals such that I will become incapable of escaping from the growing chasm-like crush I have on him. This morning such an event occurred when he recommended this fabulous article by Oliver Sacks on how your brain never stops growing so you should never stop learning. I am honestly stumped by what I find the most appealing about this; the fact that he reads the New York Times op-eds, the fact that he reads and knows who OLIVER SACKS is (aka: the coolest/only scientist I legit care about), or the fact that he's all fangirly over lifetime education. EITHER WAY IT IS MIGHTY HARD TO TYPE 'ROUND THEM HEARTS IN MY EYES.
  • Speaking of endearing menfolk, everyone who failed to tell me about this Alex O'Loughlin interview is fired from life.



    HE JUGGLES. AND DISCUSSES OPEN HEART SURGERY. AND IS ADORABLE. I CAN'T EVEN.
  • Hey everyone! Let's all go objectify sulky bb Scott Caan! Okay!
  • I would attempt to explain the glory of the following quote by Tom Hardy, in which he describes his strangest dream, but I cannot do it justice, so let's just all read it together:
    "I'm on stage at a Star Trek convention, and I'm wearing my Shinzon makeup and costume from Star Trek: Nemesis. Sitting next to me are Leo DiCaprio dressed as Captain Kirk, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Mr. Spock, Cillian Murphy as McCoy and Ellen Page as Uhura, and we’re all answering audience member questions about Inception. Suddenly, a Klingon in the audience stands up and shoots Leo in the chest, and the whole room erupts into chaos. Ellen shouts for Cillian to do something, but he tells her that he's an actor, not a doctor, so she looks at me and begs me to help, and I look at Leo and he's clearly dying, so I say I'll do what I can. I grab a ball-point pen and a microphone cord and I'm about to perform surgery when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, that's when I wake up."

    Alright, if you're not attracted to Tom Hardy, that's fine. I'm not attracted to him in an "I would tap that" way so much as a "I want to draw you and stare at your face FOREVER because it's sort of aesthetically fascinating". I get it! But if you don't find him ridiculously endearing after reading that, I despair for you slightly. His brain is a magnificent place.
  • HAPPY (BELATED) TWETNY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY, COLIN MORGAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. I was discussing Colin's birthday/the inevitable drunken voicemails he probably gets, including the one from Bradley, with [livejournal.com profile] myfoolisheart, and I was sort of amusing myself by writing them when I realized that it is shockingly easy for me to write Bradley James drunk. I attribute this on the fact that he already has almost no brain-to-mouth filter while sober.

    I MISS YOU, BRADLEY AND COLIN.
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [livejournal.com profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.

SO IF YOU FIND ME DEAD ANY TIME SOON, I'M JUST SAYING THIS IS PROBABLY THE REASON WHY. FUCKING DIMPLES AND THE THINGS I CAN BE PERSUADED TO DO FOR THEM.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection


TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


MARMOTFAAAAAACE


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.



FOUR: Lots of fic to read! And recommend! I mean, obviously, there is Yuletide, but first, before you read that, DROP EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW AND GO READ THIS FIC CLAUDIA WROTE FOR MY BIRTHDAY. IT IS ONLY THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN TO HUMANITY PRETTY MUCH EVER. MERLIN/ARTHUR MODERN-DAY FIREFIGHTER AU. THERE IS A DOG. AND MAGIC. AND SEXY SHIRTLESSNESS. AND ARTHUR NAKED FOR A CHARITY CALENDER WITH ONLY HIS FIRE HAT IN A STRATEGIC LOCATION. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WAITING FOR.

Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (Did you know I missed you?)
MY BIRTHDAY WAS SO AWESOME. I mean, my sister was feeling really unwell and was asleep most of the night instead of hanging out like we'd planned so that was annoying, but still! I have a very long history of very crappy birthdays, between it being so close to Christmas and being a twin (I mean, my parents were always great about giving us both what we wanted, even if that meant baking two cakes and cooking two dinners, but it's inevitable that as a kid you watch all your friends and your sister have a day that's JUST THEIR DAY FOREVER and you have to share it, and it feels sort of crappy, no matter how great your parents are) and the fact that for whatever reason, no one ever remembered it. It was particularly hellish in high school when there would be those girls who would go around with crowns and balloons tied to their bags and expect you to treat them like queens for a day and basically stop every class for fifteen minutes, and I would always make such a fuss over my friends' birthdays (once we bought a cafeteria cupcake and conned a science teacher into giving us a lighter they used for a Bunsen burner to "blow out", I never managed to top that one), and I would have to remind people for weeks it was my birthday and then whenever it came around they'd be like "sorry, forgot, have a big Spanish test and I was thinking about what I was going to do over Christmas break" and it was like lksdafjlksjdflkj ARG.

But yesterday! I slept until noon, I chilled out all day, the BFF came over for Chinese food, Ella spent the night, cake was delicious, I got Merlin season 1, How I Met Your Mother seasons 3 and 4, Community season 1, a cute little creamer shaped like a bunny, a cute little notebook again, with bunnies (bunnies are my "thing" in my family), and some big fuzzy PJ pants. Plus, [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark got me a year of paid account time! BB YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME. I WILL TRY TO FINISH A FIC SOMETIME BEFORE I DIE FOR YOU. And thank you for everyone who sent me messages! You all are too good to me. ♥

ANYWAY, SOME RANDOM MISCELLANY THAT DOESN'T REALLY COHERENTLY GO ANYWHERE.

UNE: So I was doing top 5's for my tumblr and had made all these pretty graphics when Ella, trying to get my attention, pawed at my laptop and SHUT IT DOWN before I had a chance to save them. TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY.

Most of it is easy enough to re-create, but the real tragedy is losing the one that was for Merlin/Arthur/Bradley/Colin (okay, they're all one giant mashed-up ball of love in my head. AND YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM). It took me SO LONG to find/narrow down screencaps and pictures that spanned all seasons and eras and it is too fucking much to undertake again. So, hardship of hardships, I think you all should reach down and trawl through your photo collections for your favorite (undoctored/colored/whatever) pictures of the boys being stupidface in love for me to put into a collage. The only requirement is that they both be in the frame instead of just giving besotted eyes to the camera, like I want it to be obvious to anyone, even if they've never seen the two before, that they're looking at each other like I LOVE YOUUU.

DEUX:D'you know that I can easily choose my top 5 gay OTPs, but once you include all my heterosexual OTPs, I get SUPER CONFUSED?!?! Like I was going to do two top fives, one of just gay couples and one of just straight ones, but when I went to list all my favorite het pairings the list just kept going and going and going and I love them all the same! It's not with the same ardent fire and passion that my gay pairings inspire in me, mostly because I don't have to fight for het pairings to happen, you know? They actually get together if I wait long enough. They all make my heart warm. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM, IT'S LIKE MURDERING BABIES.

TROIS: DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMFG WHERE ARE YOU GUYS, I NEED SOMEONE TO JUMP UP AND DOWN AND SQUEAL LOUDLY WITH. WHERE IS THE PARTY?!?!? IS THERE A PARTY?!?!? SHOULD I HOST A PARTY?!?!? AM I THE ONLY ONE EXCITED FOR THE INEVITABLE CELEBRATORY YOUTUBE VIDEOS OF GAY COUPLES IN UNIFORM HUGGING AND MAKING OUT?!?!??!

QUATRE: Did you know I updated my fanvid request post? YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT, HINT HINT.

CINQ: Jesus fucking Christ the cast of Community is adorable. I've been listening to all the commentaries and I just want to move in with them and we can all be besties. Though I'm unsure how I feel about Dan Harmon. He's a genius, obviously, and I agree with him on a lot of things, but he also comes across as a kind of giant smug asshole.

But seriously, why doesn't Community get nominated for more shit? It's way better than a lot of the crap that does get nominated. I'm talking to you, United States of Tara and inexplicable Two and a Half Men.

CINQ AND A HALF: Am I the only one who hates Jeff and Annie together on Community? It icks me out so hard I can't even describe. I still am all aboard the Annie/Troy train. I'm unsure how I feel about Jeff/Britta, but I really want Annie and Troy to grow up and go out and get married and Annie will be a social worker or whatever she wants to be and Troy will own a construction company and Abed will move to LA but he'll talk to Troy on the phone every day and stay at their house whenever he needs and before he makes it big live in their basement. THE END IT WILL BE AWESOME.

SIX: So I just realized the other day while I was doing dishes that Future Husband JGL and also probably Tom Hardy and Ellen Page are probably going to be at all the major awards events this season because Inception keeps getting nominated for shit! LET'S DISCUSS MY LEVELS OF EXCITEMENT! THEY ARE HIGH.

Also, let's discuss how hard I laughed when I saw the For Your Consideration posters for whichever ball of shit Twilight movie they're on. You know the scene where Edward proposes that's in every commercial ever now that one of them is coming out on DVD? It is so hilariously awful and flat. And oh my god, that ring is hideous. Like, even refraining from my feminism rant, how can anyone think those movies or books are good it is so mind-boggling.

SEPT: DID I MENTION DON'T ASK DON'T TELL REPEAL IS REALLY EXCITING?!?!?!

HOLY MOTHER OF EDIT: OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY COLIN AND BRADLEY BUT MY MIND IS BLOWN. HOLY. FUCKING. FUCK.

DO WANT RIGHT NOW THIS IS PHOTO PROOF THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN, OKAY THANKS BYE.
chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
saldfjdslkfj hello, hi, I am not dead, hi.

So most of you know why I have been conspicuously absent all week and if you don't, you can ask, uh, anyone else, and they will tell you. I'm not going into it because it's my work and I try to keep work and play as separate as I can (which is like, 95% impossible when my work is play), so yeah, thank you to everyone who's been respecting that, you are all magnificent and I love you.

But omg, completely unsympathetic complaint (well, not complaint so much as... venting?) time, I am so fucking tired. Like, I don't think I even realized how tired I was until I got home from my checkup and went to my e-mail and re-read one of my recent posts for work and was like "oh, fucknuggets, I sound so bitchy". I mean, in my defense, everyone gets bitchy sometimes, especially when they're tired, and I was doing like five things at once while I was typing that up, and I often forget that sarcasm cannot be read over the internet, but I only forget that when I'm really tired. And by tired I mean, I have been too adrenaline-crazy between work/my final yesterday which I vastly over-studied for/attempting to get Christmas presents out to sleep more than four or five hours a night. (Note: if I promised you something for Christmas, expect it for New Year's. If I promised you something and you are not American, expect it in time for Valentine's Day.) And thank God Bones is over for the year because I have like a week's worth of dishes I've been too busy to do sitting in the kitchen, plus I have to put in a laundry and vacuum the living room. Tonight. So for obvious reasons, I'm sort of eschewing the whole finale review/picspam thing for some later date when I am bored and Merlin fandom is quiet, and then I will be all SURPRISE! NINJA ATTACK OF MERLIN! And everyone will be all HOORAH HOORAH and we will celebrate jubilantly.

But tomorrow is my birthday, and you know what I'm giving myself for my birthday? A day of doing absolutely nothing. (Well, I will probably be finishing Christmas cards, and doing silly stuff like updating my fanvid wishlist because I have about five more ideas and one actually got made (!!!), but that's a fun sort of chore.) I will be lolling around the internet basking in the warm fuzzy glow cast by the re-ignition of the fandom squee machine, and then at night I am having what I consider to be The Formula For The Best Night Ever. And by that, I mean it will be me, my sister, my BFF, and my dog marathoning 30 Rock while eating Chinese food, and then the dog will sleep over curled up against my tummy. Because clearly, I am a hardcore party animal like that. You know what else I'm giving myself for my birthday? A GIANT NAP. WHICH IS REALLY THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT I WANT FROM THE UNIVERSE. Well, at least on my realistic wishlist, because I don't think that, say, I will grow three inches overnight, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt is going to ring the doorbell tomorrow and ask me out with a sidebar of marrying him.

UNTIL THEN! PLEASE SQUEE AT ME. ACCEPTABLE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

- SCOTT CAAN AND THAT PICTURE OF HIM EATING A TRIPLE ORGASM CAKE TO CELEBRATE HIS GOLDEN GLOBE NOM BECAUSE OMG WTF ADORABLE
- THE PETITION THAT SOMEONE NEEDS TO START TO MAKE SCOTT CAAN BE SHIRTLESS BECAUSE REALLY NOW
- THIS MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I HAVE WATCHED LIKE EIGHT BILLION TIMES AND THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I WAS SO HAPPY I NEARLY THREW UP FROM SMILING TOO HARD
- ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS RIDICULOUS AND ADORABLE UNTIL HE SPEAKS WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, AT WHICH POINT SUDDENLY HE IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT TO HUG HIM UNTIL HIS EYES POP OUT LIKE ONE OF THOSE STRESS DOLLS
- BASICALLY ANYTHING RELATING TO HAWAII 5-0 BECAUSE OMG THAT SHOW IS LIKE A LITTLE OASIS OF GAY IN A BIG OLD HETEROSEXUAL DESERT
- FUZZY PUPPIES/KITTENS/GERBILS/COLIN MORGAN'S HAIR
- MY NEWEST THEORY ON COLIN MORGAN AS DISCUSSED WITH [livejournal.com profile] copperiisulfate: HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES, BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE HE WAS CAUSING ALL THE OTHER ELVES TO HAVE SEXUALITY CRISES AND IT WAS SLOWING DOWN PRODUCTIVITY
- THE WAY COLIN MORGAN SAYS WORDS
- THE FACT THAT BRADLEY JAMES TOTALLY UNSECRETLY READS LIVEJOURNAL BECAUSE AHAHAHAH, BRADLEY JAMES, YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU EXIST
- THIS EXISTS AND IS TRUE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY DELICIOUS? CAKE IS REALLY DELICIOUS
- SO ARE CUPCAKES
- OR PIE
- I LOVE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH'S FACE AND I FEEL WE DON'T DISCUSS THIS ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO LOVELY SOMETIMES I WANT TO CREATE CHARTS DISCUSSING, LIKE, HOW HIS EYES ARE MAGNIFICENT
- I'M ON A BOAT. (DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!)
chibirhm: (Good things come in packages.)
Halfway through capping both parts of the Merlin finale, y'all! So, maybe it'll be up in time for when Merlin regularly would be on Saturday and we can re-squee, yes? I WILL SEE YOU THEN. Until then, I found this video about Merlin and Arthur in the finale. I'm not saying it made me cry, I'm just saying there may have been a sudden freak rainstorm. On my face.

In the meantime, the gentlgerbs!



Gus and I have experienced a bit of a setback in our relationship, as he has rubbed his nose raw and is extremely cranky about it. (Gerbils, for your information, often rub their noses raw when they get too excited about chewing/burrowing.) I've been trying to keep it from getting crusty, which he loudly objects to, and this morning it looked really bad so I put some antibiotic ointment on it, like you're supposed to. Which apparently is the gerbil equivalent of DRAWING AND QUARTERING HIM. Oh, the pathetic squealing I endured! The biting! Gerbils are really reluctant biters, usually. Sometimes babies are nippy, but for the most part, unless you shove a finger in their mouth or have just eaten something a gerbil wants o eat as well, they'll leave your fingers alone. But if you hurt them, god forbid. They will take a chunk out of you. Remember when Tess had conjunctivitis and I had to give her eye drops? SO MUCH BITING. Which, you know, good instinct, I'm not mad, but ow, Gus, I'm trying to make you better.

He continued to throw a hissy fit once I put him back in the cage too. He was still squealing, but it was this prolonged sobby squealing, and he kept pawing angrily at his nose and trying to rub the antibiotic ointment off in the shavings (which just made them stick to his nose which made him VERY PISSY) and on the edge of his cage an he was trying to lick it off, and this sent Charlie into just a tizzy of panic over OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT DID THE MEAN LADY DO TO YOU ARE YOU DYING? So he started following sobby Gus everywhere nudging and licking his face and squeaking nervously.

Needless to say, I'm not the most popular mama around these parts.
chibirhm: (Je ne comprends pas - je suis anglais)
If you have ever had an IM conversation with me, you know that during the course of that conversation there is a 90% chance I will, out of nowhere, burst out with "YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD MAKE A GREAT FANVID?" and then rattle off some idea or five. Which would be great, if I was capable of making videos. Well, technically, I do have Windows Movie Maker, but even trying to cut together a few clips of my dog on that makes my soul weep. HOW DO PEOPLE DEAL WITH THAT PROGRAM? IT TAKES LIKE FIVE BILLION YEARS AND YOU GET SO MANY RANDOM CLIPS AND AKLSFJALKSJFLKASJ.

Anyway, after complaining to [livejournal.com profile] thisissirius for, like, a month, I decided you know what, I have a text document filled with ideas, it's the holidays, it's a week and a half to my birthday, surely something, somewhere on this list will inspire someone to make something. The ideas are free! All I ask is that, if any of these are to be made, please link me so I may worship the maker appropriately. Also, I'm gonna be updating this post constantly as new ideas come to me. CHECK BACK ON IT. I MAY HAVE HAD A STROKE OF GENIUS.

Video ideas for Sherlock, Hawaii 5-0, Merlin RPF, and mostly just Merlin. )

ANYWAY. I'll get to the giant Merlin spam of both parts of the finale soon, but it's taking a long time because I keep forgetting I'm actually trying to take screencaps and think up commentary and next thing I know it's twenty minutes later and I've re-watched it and not done a damn thing because I'm to distracted by the pretty. MY LIFE, SO HARD.
chibirhm: (Donde esta la biblioteca?)
A PLETHORA OF THOUGHTS:
  • I cannot stop listening to this song lately, for some reason:


  • I just realized it's been like a week and not only have I not told you anything about my new gerbils, I haven't told you what I ended up naming them (with your help). THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE:

    The big fellow eventually got named Charlie, but more often than not, he goes by his grab-bag of nicknames (Charliebears, Chaz, Chazmataz, Chuck, Chuckles, Senor Chuckles, Mr. Big Fuzz, etc). He's still quite nervous and not much into being held, and he's very protective of his little brother. He always sleeps on top of him and if the little fellow ever leaves the cage, he'll pin him down the second he gets back and wash him like a mama cat while he squeaks in protest, like "STOP COMPLAINING, I KNOW WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE YOU GET INTO". Often he will glare at me accusingly, as if to say "AND YOU! YOU ARE ENCOURAGING THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR."

    The little fellow now goes by Gus (or, more often, Gusgus), and is a little flirty mcflirtface. Also, still a douchey little brother who is constantly tugging at Charlie's back paws like ME ME ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME PLAY WITH MEEEEEE or stealing food directly from his mouth or trying to get Charlie to give him a piggyback ride. (It's not humping, he is literally going for a piggyback ride. What is this gerb I don't even.) Altogether they are lovely little gentlegerbs and we are all getting along quite well. I just wish they enjoyed attention more, but we'll get there. None of my other gerbils did at first and it only took them a few months before they' squeal in the corners going LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME.

  • So I just received an utterly hilarious reply to my final Merlin review at work which was all poorly spelled and full of lol-speak and ended with "stop with the gay thing!!!"

    ...I'm sorry, do you know what show you're watching? I've nosed around other sites of similar calliber and they all allude to the gay thing, but none of them ever mention it as explicitly as I do, and I'm pretty sure that's because it's "not professional". I mean, I've talked to the people who write stuff for, say Hawaii 5-0 and while in private they'll be all OMG GAYEST EVER once it comes to their article they sort of politely gloss over it as a "nice friendly bromantic moment".

    I don't think I'll ever get why it's "unprofessional" to be like "GUESS WHAT, EVERYONE, THIS IS GAY. WHEN TWO DUDES ARE LIKE ABOUT TO KISS, THAT'S GAY". It's like... when people encounter it, they seem to sort of treat it the way they would treat someone with boils that ooze puss all over their face, like, oh my god, it's rude to mention that, quick,let's talk about how they have really nice eyes and a stellar personality! I have no problem discussing the nice eyes and stellar personality, it's just my personal belief that if there are GIANT PUS-OOZING BOILS on someone's face, it should be pointed out. Especially when they aren't something horrible like boils at all! They are something very nice! Like boys who love each other!

    But seriously. I will stop with the whole "gay thing" when there are no longer moments that look like this:



    or this:



    AKA NEVER.

  • You know what I've stopped looking at and don't miss? The Mean Meme. It was starting to be so pointlessly irritating to me I just stopped going, and this weekend I was bored and thought "huh, I wonder what they thought of my vitriolic Julian letter" so I went and... oh my god. You guys, I stated explicitly that I was not going to send it in like the third line down from the top and the entire thread was like a really bitchy Emily Post guide like OMG WHY IS SHE SENDING THIS LETTER TO JULIAN MURPHY.

    So I am really glad I went back one more time. It was cathartic. (Well, it was cathartic once I stopped laughing.) Because it was at that moment I realized something - they can't read. And if they're too dumb to read, than their opinions don't count. Ever. And it was like all my angst evaporated and I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.

    So goodbye, meme. I won't miss you even in the slightest.

    That being said, I'm not British, so I'm not sure how effective this would be, but do you think it would be helpful to do a sort of... positive re-enforcement letter send in? Like, as a group? Because I think we can all agree that the finale wasn't perfect as far as fixing all our S3 Arthur/Merlin woes, but it was like, glory hallelujah, they're actually friends again. If a lot of fandom got together and sent in letters that said, effectively, "I was really sad about the Arthur/Merlin friendship in S3, but thank you so much for the finale, it made me feel so much better, please do more of that", would it help? I mean, ego-stroking tends to be an effective method of getting someone on your side, I've found.

  • I'm not, like, upset about tumblr, but I do find myself vaguely concerned about the length of time its been down. The first few hours it was cute, like, awww, your server's overheated, hasn't it? Now it's been long enough that I'm sitting here going OMG IS THIS THE WORK OF ANTI-HIPSTER CYBERTERRORISTS!?!? I'm just about Tim Gunn levels of concerned, is my point.

  • So we're getting one side of our house re-shingled, and it happens to be one of the sides that my bedroom window is facing. And you know what's creepy-weird and irritating? Waking up to BANG BANG BANGITYBANG BANG BANG BANGITY every morning (I don't know how I sleep through most of it, honestly) and also THE FACE/BODY OF A CONSTRUCTION WORKER DUDE. (Sadly not of the hot fanfic variety. Sigh!) Now, these guys are super-professional and never once have glanced inside my room, but the fact that their turned away faces are RIGHT THERE creeps me out. I have taken to zooming out of my bed so fast it's like it's on fire and when I have to go out, changing either under my covers or crouched in the bathroom.

    I will be so glad when this is over.

  • So my sister's boyfriend spent his first Hannukah with us on Saturday and he got us all presents because he has what my sister refers to as "a gift-giving problem" (and we both agree that, as problems go, this isn't a bad one to have). Now I knew he'd get my parents gifts because he's very polite and proper like that, but I wasn't expecting he'd get me a gift. But you know what he got me?

    AN ALPHONSE MUCHA CALENDER.

    Guys, he doesn't read my livejournal. He doesn't even know I have a livejournal. We've had one conversation on Art Nouveau but that was more on Klimt and if he counted or not. And he got me an Alphonse Mucha calender.

    My first reaction was to wait until he had left and then inform my sister that if she didn't marry him I'd be severely disappointed in her, and then my second reaction was OMG NOW I HAVE TO GET HIM SOMETHING, because I have a bit of a gift-giving problem as well. I know back when I first met him around August I thought up a Christmas present and then dismissed it because, like I said, he's very proper and polite and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable and like he should have given me something when I thought there was no way he would. And I can't remember what that idea was! Any ideas for the most thoughtful, creepily insightful brother-in-dating-law that's about $10 or under?

  • Dear Future Husband Joseph Gordon-Levitt,

    There are times when you post pictures like this on your tumblr:



    And we need to have a talk. Because, you see, you need to stop doing that. Let's face it, you are not actually my future husband, you are way too hot to be my future husband. But when you post pictures of you with your dad making funny adorable faces in those glasses that you know give me feelings, it's really unfair. And causes me to make inhuman high-pitched embarrassing noises.

    Please, I know I've requested this of you before, but if you could stop being so fucking adorable and falsely accessible, that would be nice. Just, like, get caught with a transvestite prostitute. It didn't hurt Hugh Grant's career! And it would make me feel so much better about my life to know that there aren't creepily perfect people out there. RIGHT NOW YOU ARE A LITTLE TOO CREEPILY PERFECT.

    Sincerely,
    Me.

  • NEW HAWAII 5-0 TONIGHT!!!!! WHO WANTS TO WATCH AND LIVESQUEE WITH ME?!?!! YOU KNOW YOU DO. C'MON.
chibirhm: (I suppose you find this amusing.)
OH MY HOLY FUCKING FUCK, Y'ALL.

GUYS. GUYS. GUYSSSSS. THE MERLIN FINALE. WAS SO. IT WAS JUST SO. ASLFJSKLDFJLJFSL. HOW AM I GOING TO REVIEW THIS IN UNDER A THOUSAND WORDS?!?!? I COULD WRITE BOOKS ON EVERYTHING I LOVED. BOOKS. BOOOOOOOOKS! MERLIN WAS SO AMAZING! ARTHUR WAS SO FUCKING KINGLY I COULD DIE! BRADLEY AND COLIN WERE SO GORGEOUS I CANNOT EVEN. COLIN WITH YOUR FACE AND BRADLEY'S EYES WERE SO BEAUTIFUL THIS EPISODE. HIS EYESSSSSS. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIS EYES. KNIIIIIIIIIIGHTS! BADDEST BUNCH OF GQMFS EVER OH HOLY SHIT. LANCELOT I LOVE YOU AND MISSED YOU SO MUCH IF YOU EVER LEAVE AGAIN I WILL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE. GAIUS! WTF YOU OLD BASTARD YOU'RE KIND OF AWESOME!

AND THE GIRLS!OH MY GOD THEY DESERVE A PARAGRAPH OF THEIR OWN BECAUSE I CAN'T EVEN. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. KATIE'S ACTING WAS PHENOMENAL I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER. AND GWEN! ANGEL! ANGEL MOTHERFLIPPING COULBY. HONESTLY I THINK LOVING GWEN WAS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE EPISODE, I CHEERED AND SQUEALED SO LOUD AT HER BEING AWESOME. (I mean except for her parts with Arthur and vice-versa, how do those two have phenomenal chemistry with literally everyone else in the cast/world but the second they're in a scene together it's like pbbbbblt.) BUT OMG GWEN. GWEN. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE LIKE MY LONG-LOST BEST FRIEND. THE ONLY THING BETTER WAS THE MERLIN/ARTHUR SCENES WHICH I CANNOT EVEN DISCUSS COHERENTLY I JUST. I JUST. I DON'T CARE WHAT JULIAN SAID ANY SCENE WITH THOSE TWO THEIR EYES. THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH SO MUCH LOVE I AM JUST. I AM SO. I CANNOT.

OKAY TONIGHT IS BIG HANNUKAH NIGHT AT OUR HOUSE WITH THE LATKES AND ALL THE PEOPLE SO I HAVE TO SHOWER BUT OMG PRESENTS AND CANDLES AND FRIED SHIT AND THE BEST FINALE EVER I THINK I FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT CHRISTMAS MORNING FEELS LIKE TO REGULAR PEOPLE.
chibirhm: (Once and Future King)
(Okay, so I posted a shorter version of this on tumblr and was telling [livejournal.com profile] ella_bane I was surprised about how much it was getting re-blogged, and she was like "oh, put it on LJ!" And I was like "really?" And she was like "YES AND IF YOU DON'T I WILL DO MEAN THINGS TO YOU" and then made threatening motions so fine, here is the expanded LJ version of a letter I would like to send to Julian Murphy, or scream at him until I broke his brain. Alas, alack.)


Dear Julian Murphy,

So you have just given an interview looking back on Season 3 of Merlin, and in it, you are a giant flaming bag of douche. You've actually made me angry. Are you aware of how hard it is to make really and truly angry? Like, not just kind of irritated? Because when you say that "character growth" for female characters only happens if they get a romantic interest or turn evil, and that despite the actress' repeated pleas to play stronger roles, you have ignored them, citing that it's not "period appropriate" when you have never given two flying fucks about even the most rudimentary historical accuracy before, congrats! You've done it. You are officially a jackass.

And don't even get me started on your dismissal of Merlin/Arthur fans. You do realize that they make up a giant portion of your fanbase, and are a disproportionately large percentage the ones that make you money by buying your merchandise and going to your events? But apparently, you think it's a good idea to do just that. In an interview where you also compare the Merlin/Arthur relationship to both Butch/Sundance and Lois/Clark. Because there's nothing romantic about those relationships! And you're right, it's okay to have a prominent plot point in your "family show" be genocide in which you explicitly discuss the drowning of children, but making the main characters gay would be taking it a step too far and furthermore, it would be just so upsetting! Thank you for mansplaining it to me! I guess my tiny lady brain was all confused since I'm not in a relationship or plotting evil.

You know, for a long time, I was very defensive of you, simply because that's who I am. I am an easy forgiver. I am a benefit-of-the-doubt-er. So when there were all these conspiracy theories about the writers being purposefully sexist and homophobic I was like "... really?" Honestly, I did not believe that was possible in this day and age. Surely there could not be a secret cabal of menfolk sitting in a room willfully being that offensive. And I can forgive ignorance. I might not be happy about it, but if you don't know to examine your actions from a certain point of view, you don't know. Whats the point in getting mad over that? How are you supposed to do something you didn't know you were supposed to do? But you made it explicit in this interview that you know. You know exactly what you're doing. And furthermore, you are doing it on purpose because you think it is the right thing to do. And that is inexcusable. That is completely unforgivable.

If you were some sort of transcendent visionary, maybe you could get off on belittling your fans for ~not understanding you creative vision~. But you know what? You're not. You're not even good. If you think the fans watch for the "quality writing" on Merlin, you are insanely deluded. We watch in spite of that. We watch, for the most part, because it's pretty, and because the cast is really, really, really good. Like, way too good for you. Honestly, if you hadn't cast the people you cast, your show would have gone up like the Hindenburg. For fuck's sake, I can write better than you, and I'm not paid to do this shit. You are. And more than ever, I'm convinced that anything that goes right on this show is somehow a happy coincidence. Either that, or it is due to the dedicated effort of a small rebel force, and you are the Death Star, and I am really hoping one of these days they figure out how to jam up your goddamned trash compactor.

There's this delusion many writers seem to have, and it shows up especially in showrunners, that a show belongs to them, or that they understand their show better than anyone because they wrote it. I fucking hate that attitude. That attitude is my number one pet peeve not only in television, but on the top ten of "shit that pisses me off more than anything else, of all time". The first thing any person who is creative learns is that their work stops being theirs the second it is shared. The entire point of creative work is the way it can be re-interpreted and the meaning of it changes for every new fresh set of eyes that looks at it. To say yours is the "better" or "right" version is abso-fucking-loutely ludicrous, and beyond that, it's arrogant. It's like saying that you know ultimate philosophical answers to life's great questions and other people don't. You should never, ever, ever belittle an audience interpretation of your creative work. You may dislike it. Hell, you may hate it. It may hurt you because that work is your baby. I know that feeling. But like all babies, your work has grown up and left you. You can't do anything about it. Deal with it. And more than that, realize that if there's a mass consensus on your work, it is not because you are right in the face of a million people who are wrong, or that there is something fundamentally wrong with those people. It's that you you didn't see something and they did. That should be the whole reason you share your creativity in the first place. And if you can't deal with that, there's a simple solution - don't share. Get over yourself. End of story.

So, I guess the upshot of this little note is this; fuck you. Hard. Wait, let me make this clearer.



No. Just... no.

Sincerely,
Me, potentially co-signed by 90% of Merlin fandom, or at least over 25 people on Tumblr.
chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)
Dear Mean Meme,

You are reaching dangerous levels of Not Cool, Man. First, you discussed something my friend said in flock out of flock, which is just... wow. And that's not even the first time you've done that! Even if these people weren't my friends, douche move. And now, you are acting totally drunk off the power of "revealing" that Georgia and Bradley are dating. Really, Mean Meme? I will admit that yes, I initially freaked out. However, you forget, I think, that people are capable of going back to check facts. Remember how that rumor came out initially and it was ridiculed BEFORE the pictures showed up? Remember why? Because there were tweets saying Bradley was in LA at the fucking time the picture was supposed to be taken, and you know who I'm going to believe? Someone on Twitter. Who actually puts their name on the stuff they write. As opposed to an obscure anon fandom cesspool. So unless Bradley has somehow managed to break the space-time continuum, that picture proves nothing other than Bradley and Georgia were seen in public together, and that the source is a liar. Wooo! Shocking!

Meme, you are part of my life in the same way the weather forecast is part of my life. I watch you because I feel it more prudent to see what's coming than to stick my head in the sand. It is time that you took a good, hard look at yourself and realized that, much like the weather forecast, you are wrong, like, 90% of the time.

Sincerely,
Me

And now, for something much more exciting, TIME FOR MERLIN THOUGHTS.

THAT TIME ON MERLIN WHERE BRADLEY AND COLIN MADE FACES AND I WENT !!!!!!!!ASLKJFLSKDJFKSDLJF!!!!!!! )

Edit: Somewhere, there is a fourteen year old version of me having a joy seizure over this.

Edit 2: I ran out of my ADD meds and was totally spaced out, so instead of taking me a few hours, this recap took me the entire ding-dong day. I also took, like, five accidental naps today. CURSE YOU ARTIFICIALLY CREATED ENERGY I HAVE GROWN USED TO. During that time Hawaii 5-0 was on and WHAT THE WHAT IS THIS SHOW. Okay, to recap, Within the first ten minutes Steve first looks like rough trade by wearing a nearly see-through wifebeater, then he strips and shamelessly objectifies himself (while they cut to Danny VERY CLEARLY OGLING HIM AHAHAHHAHA WHAT IS THIS) while Kono (who isn't exactly bad-looking) demurely puts on a diving vest to cover up her bikini in the background. And then! After that! Danny calls Steve "babe". As in, he literally turns to Steve and says "There are cleaning people for that, babe" in front of another team member. Between this and all the rampant positive portrayal of minorities, I am now 99% sure this show is all a figment of my imagination. It actually exists in a magical world of rainbows and unicorns and I am thinking about what I want to see and subconsciously projecting it onto my television. I expect Danny and Steve to be making out by the season finale, show.

Also, what is the proper protocol when one is writing a fic that gets disproved by canon? Because I was writing a Steve makes terrible excuses to crash on Danny's couch which leads to sex fic, but now we know Steve's staying in his bullet-riddled house. Honestly, it's Steve, so I should have suspected that, but I stupidly figure that, like most cop shows, Hawaii 5-0 would forget that episodes don't happen in a vacuum. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, OH FRIENDSLIST.
chibirhm: (Time for the reckoning.)
Do you ever get in one of those moods where you wake up and you're all GRR ARG DO ALL THE THINGS and then you do, except your brain is still hopping on crazy adrenaline like WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE?!?! WE NEED TO DO ALL THE THINGS!!!! Because that is my brain today, and by god, its annoying. Like, chill, self, I responded to three e-mails, renewed my prescription, made two doctor's appointments, helped my mom clean the bathroom, and posted an article for work. All I need to do is watch Modern Family and Cougar Town (not exactly strenuous) and do the dishes.

Welcome to my brain. 95% of the time it's a lazy bastard, but that 5% of the time where it's not, it's a total bitch.

In more exciting news, I'm writing again! As in, fic, and not for work! Hooray! Though it will probably disappoint most of you to know that it's Hawaii 5-0 fic. Look, I'm sorry, dudes, but I haven't been able to write since Big Bang. Like, I think my brain was suffering from writing PTSD. Because LJ entries and blog posts were totally fine, but the second I opened a google doc or any form of word processor, my brain would shut down completely. And so then I thought, maybe I am burnt out on the fic for this fandom, if not the squee. So after regular Merlin I tried Merlin RPS. Nothing. Inception/Merlin crossover AU? Nothing. Inception? Nothing. Sherlock? Nothing. So at this point, I'd be excited to write fucking Smurf fanfiction, I don't even give a fuck. Also, these are the guys I'm writing about:



Okay, that is not fan-made video, that is official promotional material. I'm pretty sure when life hands you that kind of gay on a silver platter it is your prerogative - nay, your duty - to write crazy fanfiction all up in this bitch. Right now I'm not sure of the quality of my writing - it feels sort of chopped-up and lumpy. It's a lot of really great dialogue with not a lot of anything else. As in, like, descriptors. Or an actual plot. But the dialogue is so super snappy, you guys.

Also, I'm fighting really hard with myself to not name this story "How Danny Williams Got Lei'd" because 1. that's the most horrible, overused pun in the history of time and 2. That's totally not what the story is even about, but how has no one in the Hawaii 5-0 fandom used that joke yet? I'm not sure who I'm more ashamed of, myself, or everyone else.

ANYWAY, I'm boring, you don't care, here are three links for you to peruse:

ONE!
I'm normally not that much of a fan of Hyperbole and a Half. Like, it's fun, but I don't see the big deal - maybe because it was so over-hyped to me. But I still follow it because, well, fun. ANYWAY, pretty much all of her entries are meh and cute, but yesterday she wrote an entry about how her dogs reacted to her moving that almost made me pee my pants laughing so hard. Like, I was crying. Seriously. I was reading this entry last night while my parents and sister were having a Serious and Upsetting Grown-Up Conversation (About Serious and Upsetting Things) in the kitchen, and I was half-listening because I wanted to know what was going on but didn't want to actually get involved. And I knew I couldn't laugh to hard out loud because, well, the mood of the house was very solemn, but OH MY GOD THIS ARTICLE. So I ended up sitting there making these choking sobby noises, and eventually my mom was like "...Julia, are you okay? Are you.... crying?!?!" and I was like "NO!" except I sort of sounded like I was crying because I couldn't really speak. Also, I Was crying, it was just from laughter.

I don't know what it is about when she writes about her dogs, but I want her to write about them ALL THE TIME because when she wrote about the canine intelligence test? Also completely lost it. I'm not sure why I find this so funny. Maybe it has to do with having worked in a dog daycare so I can look at that ridiculous behavior and go "OH MY GOD IT'S SO TRUE AHAHHHAHAHAH DOGS". WHAT RIDICULOUS ANIMALS.

TWO!
Not for the faint of heart, but there are new stills of Colin in Parked and OH MY GOD, COLIN MORGAN. YOU ARE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. HOW DO YOU MAKE ME CRY IN THE AWESOMEST POSSIBLE WAY?!!?!?

THREE!
Because I think Bradley James secretly has a psychic connection to my brain, this is the (very late) quest:



HE AND COLIN DISCUSS THEIR BODIES. BY WHICH HE MEANS, SWAPPING THEM. AS IN, HE AND COLIN WRITE BODYSWAP FIC IN THEIR SPARE TIME. AHAHAHAHAHA WHO ARE YOU BOYS, SERIOUSLY. ALSO, SOMEONE PLEASE PUT BRADLEY JAMES ON THE WRITING TEAM OF MERLIN, STAT. HE CLEARLY HAS THE BEST IDEAS.

EDIT: OH GREAT FRIENDSLIST, does anyone know how to code? I want to change my LJ layout very slightly - tweak it so it has a background image, widen the area the entries are in, change the colors, that sort of thing - but don't know enough about CSS to do so. If you can do so, please let me know, and I'll make out with you. A lot.
chibirhm: (Lemon out!)
SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: A LIST


One- Merlin!
How is the cast of this show so fricken-fracken delightful? It's like it's their personal mission to make sure I grin haplessly at my computer monitor at least once a day. Like yesterday, the full blooper reel came out, which is all stuff we've seen but it's all in one place! I didn't realize until I saw it that 49% is Bradley James' amazing and stupid face, 1% is random shenanigans, and 50% is Anthony Head losing his shit for no discernible reason. I love that man's giggle, seriously. I love it so much that I just went back and listened to every commentary for Merlin he's done, because he spends most commentaries giggling and I love his giggle. LOVE IT.

Also, lest you think I've forgotten my younger fellows, today also brought us pictures of Colin in a dinghy (WARNING: possible spoilers?), which is utterly adorable because he has to fold all his coltish limbs up to fit in what frankly looks like the world's most unstable watercraft and he's beaming like a loon and seriously, Colin, what do you eat in the morning to make you this adorable? And finally, there's a new Bradley interview that absolutely cracks me up every time I re-read it. Basically, the interviewer's pretty enthused about the Arthur/Gwen romance and is trying to get Bradley to be enthused too, and instead he sort of evades and gives a one-line answer. But when asked off-hand about Colin? THREE PARAGRAPHS. Oh, Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley, how I love you and your completely unsubtle biases. I've always strongly believed that Bradley should insert himself into the Merlin creative team, because if he had his way it's pretty clear the episodes would go SWASH SWASH BUCKLE BUCKLE, SWORDS! BIG MONSTERS! GRR! ARG! [POSSIBLY MAKE OUT WITH COLIN AT END BEFORE PREVIEW] and it would be the greatest thing ever. Show writers! Listen to this boy! He's more than just really ridiculously good-looking.

Also! I had yet another fanvid idea. Anyone who makes me an angsty Gwen(/torn between Arthur and Lancelot/aw shit Morgana isn't my friend anymore/my dad is dead and my brother's fucked off/life is hard) video to This Woman's Work wins the entire internets. IT COULD BE SO AMAZING, YOU GUYS.


Two - Hawaii 5-0!
[livejournal.com profile] lamardeuse is a slutty, slutty enabler who should feel bad about herself for getting me into yet another homoerotic cop show that will tease me worse than a Chippendale's dancer and then never follow through with the gay. And yet, I got suckered into it because, well, you say "here is a new television show about two attractive dudes who are not-so-subtly panting after each other" and I am there. So perhaps I am the slut in this situation.

The point is, I was supposed to be helping my co-workers in the Castle livechat and am I doing that now? No. No, I am watching Hawaii 5-0 and flapping my hands because oh my god, you guys, I swear, they really are going to make during sweeps. Really. I have no other logical explanation for what is happening on my television screen. I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. MOST OF THEM ARE GAY FEELINGS, BUT SOME OF THEM ARE ALSO ABOUT HOW GRACE PARK IS STUPIDLY GOOD-LOOKING. And positive portrayals (mostly) of people of color! Non-stale storylines! Cultural exploration in a respectful way! DID I MENTION THAT STEVE AND DANNY ARE LIKE TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM DOING IT?!?!?

ANYWAY. Last night's episode was all sorts of amazing and I have pretty much spent the entire night e-mailing everyone I know and making squeaking noises at [livejournal.com profile] sonicbookmark, because! Because! Danny was so jealous and Steve was so smitten and alksjflksdjf. And did you guys realize that Steve's house is now totally wrecked, plus a crime scene, so Steve can't stay there. Which means, obviously, he needs somewhere more permanent to stay than a hotel. Which means he is TOTALLY CRASHING AT DANNY'S. And Danny's lest we forget, is a tiny apartment with only a pull-out couch to sleep on. Which of course Steve will worm his way into. And then sex will happen. In fact, we will probably open on this very scene next week. I am taking bets. Like, right now.

In conclusion: HAWAII'S FLAG - IT'S A RAINBOW FOR A FUCKING REASON.


Three - Tina Fey exists!
So you all now how Tina Fey is my role model in life, right? Well she just became the third-ever woman to win the Mark Twain Prize for humor, and then she gave a kickass acceptance speech, and basically, I still want to go to there.


SHERLOCK! It just has a lot of youtube videos so I'm cutting this. )

EDIT EDIT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EDIT!!!!! GUYS GUYS OH MY GOD YOU GUYS. I was literally JUST hitting the post button when [livejournal.com profile] puckling IMed me like SHIT STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW AND GO LOOK AT THE NEW MERLIN PROMO PIC so I did and HOLY FUCK KNIGHTS OF THE TOTALLY HOTASS ROUND TABLE. DO NOT WALK, RUN TO GO SEE IT. LOOK, I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH A LINK:

CLICK FOR OVERWHELMING HOTASSERY.

SERIOUSLY I OPENED THE HI-RES PICTURE AND IT WAS SO SEXY IT DISCONNECTED MY INTERNET FOR A MINUTE THERE.

I CAN'T. I CAN'T EVEN. THIS IS WHY I CAN NEVER, EVER, EVER QUIT YOU, SHOW.
chibirhm: (Redheads do it best.)
Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? [livejournal.com profile] frantic_allonsy is doing it, and [livejournal.com profile] staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )
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