chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
Sorry my presence has been so spotty lately, you guys. I've been absent a lot lately because my depression/anxiety really exploded in the last few weeks. In good news, though, I'm on new medication (today is day 4) that seems to be working really well, so, hi again! I have been reading everything you've been writing, just not up to writing a lot. (Though I have been tumbling, which is because all you really have to do is hit "reblog" and then maybe write a paragraph of text. My latest masterpiece of language there was describing my longing for a dessert as "Dickensian".)

Aaaanyway, in spite of that, several boys (and one inanimate thing) that have been making me feel fabulous, so I think we should celebrate them!

Tom Hardy: Okay, I know everyone and their mother has seen this interview, but really, does anyone object to seeing it again? I THOUGHT NOT.



Between this and the utterly magnificent Benedict Cumberbatch interview he did, I've decided Alan Carr is my new hero. Also, Tom Hardy, please report to my house, I have some cookies to feed you. (What is it about Tom Hardy that makes me get all grandmotherly and sigh things like "SUCH A NICE YOUNG MAN"?!?! IDK YOU GUYS.)

Also, re: the rising star BAFTA grudge between him/Andrew Garfield - I wasn't mad then, and I'm still not mad now. I mean, this is why I didn't vote, besides that I'm not British, because they are both stupidly adorable and there are pictures of them on the internet holding babies and they both have big puppy eyes and crinkly smiles and rescue lost kittens (in Tom's case, literal, in Andrew's case, I mean Jesse Eisenberg) and seriously, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE. I CAN'T. I'm sure Andrew Garfield and Tom Hardy will both end up with fantastic roles later in their careers, win and be nominated for squidgillions of awards, and cause us much joy in our hearts and/or pants for many years to come. HEH. COME.

Colin Morgan: There are a flobbityjillion Colin Morgan things coming out because of his new play, and I assure you I have been squealing my head off over them all. WHO ARE YOU, COLIN MORGAN, AND HOW ARE YOU A REAL BOY. Like, seriously, can his mother please teach a class on How To Raise Your Children To Be That Polite And Gracious And Darling? BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW. And oh, he's just the prettiest boy in the world. I use the word prettiest very pointedly, I don't think he's like, the hottest or sexiest or most attractive in that sort of FIRE OF MY LOINS way, but by god, he's just so beautiful. HOW IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL. Like there are no bad angles on all those new stage door shots! None! He looks so lovely in all of them! It is a supernatural power. And I may be biased because in many of them he's wearing a Boston Red Sox beanie, and the number one way for any famous person to have my undying devotion is for them to cart around Red Sox paraphernalia. (See also: why I can never hate you, Ben Affleck.)

SPEAKING OF COLIN MORGAN AND BOSTON, I think I regretfully am not going to the screening of Parked that's going to be here. I was hemming and hawing all day yesterday, and I think I would have changed my mind if Colin was going to be there for a Q & A session or something (so I could shake his hand, thank him for being brilliant, and humbly request that next he do, like, a romcom or something, damn), but the fact is, I have a literal physical reaction to seeing Colin Morgan hurt or upset.

Well, okay, I have a physical reaction to seeing anyone hurt or upset unless I feel a strong disconnection of knowing they're acting. But there are certain actors (like Colin or Bradley or, and this is the one that's the worst for me, Joe) where I get too emotionally invested in their emotional well-being. I don't know why it happens with some actors and not others (there are plenty of actors I love love love and never have this problem with, like, I've been a giant Tom Hanks fan since I was very little, but it never bothers me when I see him acting hurt, and Tom Hardy I have no issue with either and we all know my deep grandmotherly feelings on him... maybe it's something with people named Tom?), but it's BAD with Colin. I can't even get through the trailer of Parked without feeling nauseous and my chest starting to tighten. It makes my throat close up and my palms start sweating to watch the end of The Lady of the Lake episode. OF MERLIN. Even after Arthur noogies him! I just can't deal with it. And I think seeing Colin Morgan get beat up and overdose on drugs on the big screen would just... it would be bad for my emotional health. Along the lines of when I was made to watch the tapes from the original Millgram experiments in AP Psych. That was a terrible idea. i was literally almost in class and shaking and everyone was like "SO I THINK WE KNOW WHO THE STATISTICAL OUTLIER IS".

Scott Caan: alkdsjflksdjf THIS MAN IS ADORABLE. Like, the hair is still worrying to me but apparently it's his thing, so whatever. The point is that I am in love with his nose and crinkly eyes and his polka dot socks omg they are the greatest. There's also a video where he's with his girlfriend and her dog and his daddy and he's adorable, my only complaint is really that FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SCOTT, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GUM IN YOUR MOUTH? SPIT IT OUT, YOUNG MAN. JESUS.

Whichever Genius Made This: [livejournal.com profile] creativepseudo sent me a link to this NES-style game of the Great Gatsby which is THE MOST NERDY AMAZING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY UNIVERSE FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO.

Though I can't get past the level with the giant eyes, so... help?

Fuzzy Boys:

HELLO, OUR NAMES ARE CHARLIE AND GUS, AND WE ARE ADORABLE. WE HAVE BEEN MOSTLY WELL BEHAVED, EXCEPT FOR GUSGUS, WHO KEEPS CRAWLING IN THE BACK OF THE COUCH, WHICH MEANS MAMA IS NOT HAPPY AND LETTING HIM RUN, WHICH MEANS GUSGUS IS UNHAPPY, SO MAMA HAS ORDERED US A WHEELY WHEEL, WHICH WE WILL RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN ON. ALSO, CHARLIE HAS LEARNED TO JUMP OUT OF THE CAGE, BUT HE LIKES TO CRAWL UP THE WATER BOTTLES AND STAND ON THE SIDE OF THE CAGE INSTEAD OF INTO MAMA'S LAP, BECAUSE HE IS SILLY.

YESTERDAY WE WERE VERY EXCITED DURING THE OSCARS, ESPECIALLY THE PRE-SHOW. ALSO, WE SMELL LIKE COFFEE BECAUSE MAMA GAVE US A BAG THAT USED TO HOLD COFFEE GROUNDS.

IN CONCLUSION, WE WOULD LIKE CUDDLES, PLEASE. ALSO, ALL OF YOUR EGG CARTONS.

SINCERELY, YOUR FUZZY OVERLORDS
chibirhm: (What would you do if I sang out a tune?)
A few quick things!

ONE: My laptop's fan is misaligned again and keeps hitting something and sparking, unless I keep it on a totally flat surface and do not move it. Which happened around this time last year, too. I could send it in to Lenovo to get it fixed, but the last time I did that it took them nearly two weeks to do, which is totally unacceptable. I can't live without my laptop for two weeks! And the thing is, you can track your comptuer's progress online, it took them a day to fix it, most of those two weeks were "processing and shipping". Well fuck that shit. I could drive to the hardware-fixing headquarters in Indiana, watch them fix my baby, and get it back sooner if I did the shipping myself, by carrying it on my person. Does anyone know of a place that would do hardware fixes I could just drive it to and get it back at the end of the afternoon? Like, a chain? Or somewhere in the Boston area? This is the one area I will concede Macs are superior. They drive me crazy and I hate everything about them, but damn if that genius bar in every mall isn't convenient and efficient.

TWO: Last night we had leftover lentil soup so I left some lentils for Gus, but when I looked in the cage a little later, Charlie was eating one! HURRAH, CHARLIE. YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE GERBIL.

THREE: Everyone who didn't link me to the Ooh Commander McGarrett comic is fired from life. I will never tire of fandom adaptations of this comic. Never!

FOUR: So, this year's United States of Pop mashup came out:



For those of you who missed the extreme privilege of this last year, this is basically a guy who takes the top 25 pop hits of the year (as determined by Billboard) and mashes them all together into one SUPER SONG.

Now, the thing is, I'm a dork. I can't just listen to this song, I have to start thinking about it. And I was thinking, these things are actually a kind of interesting from an intellectual point of view. I mean if you think about why people listen to music, it's not just because it's catchy, it often has to do with it having some sort of deeper meaning for them. I don't think it's exactly a disputed fact that the arts are reflective of the state of the society it comes from. So what if I compared it to last year's? Because there are definite trends that changed visually in the music videos, and in the lyrics, and in the whole damn tone of the thing. It's like a mini-zeitgeist! It could be so cool!

On the other hand, it's really super pretentious. It is like I am purposefully peeing on the mindless pop parade. I was asking [livejournal.com profile] puckling about it and she was like "you used the word 'zeitgeist'. If you need to use the word 'zeitgeist' to explain your concept, it's pretentious."

But... I kind of want to be pretentious! I don't know, is this interesting to anyone else but me? PLEASE ANSWER THIS POLL AND TELL ME.

[Poll #1662070]

FIVE: I entirely blame [livejournal.com profile] cherrybina for this, but I am obsessed with Google Analytics. I installed it on this LJ and it's kind of the greatest thing ever. I'm fond of the fact that aside from searching for my username, people find me most often by googling "bradley and colin in love". Which I did, and I'm the second result. With a lot of sub-results. NOT GOING TO LIE, THIS IS KIND OF AWESOME.

But I think my favorite part of doodling around with Google Analytics is the map overlay. I have people visit this site from so many cool places. Now I know where a lot of my LJ friends are from, so I can look at a dot and be like "okay, that's so and so", but some of the places are really surprising. Like, did you know I'm popular in Glasgow? I've gotten sixteen hits from Glasgow. Glasgow! Who the frack is in Glasgow? Apparently someone(s) who thinks I'm awesome, that's who. Another place I'm randomly popular is in Tampere, Finland. At first I thought that must have been [livejournal.com profile] whisperwords from when she went to visit her family there, but no, it was after she got back that someone there started visiting my site once a day. Do you see what I mean by cool? SO COOL. Though I think the coolest is that I have two people who have returned and so clearly they're reading, who are from Calcutta, India. India! THIS IS SO INDESCRIBABLY BOSS.

My only problem with Google Analytics is that I don't know how to filter out my own IP. Is there a way to do that? Because between answering comments and reading my friendslist, I am skewing the data like crazy. I am a quarter of my own hits, for serious. Which makes sense, but I don't care about how much time I spend at my own journal (answer: TOO MUCH, CLEARLY). HELP, SAVVY PEOPLE?
chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
saldfjdslkfj hello, hi, I am not dead, hi.

So most of you know why I have been conspicuously absent all week and if you don't, you can ask, uh, anyone else, and they will tell you. I'm not going into it because it's my work and I try to keep work and play as separate as I can (which is like, 95% impossible when my work is play), so yeah, thank you to everyone who's been respecting that, you are all magnificent and I love you.

But omg, completely unsympathetic complaint (well, not complaint so much as... venting?) time, I am so fucking tired. Like, I don't think I even realized how tired I was until I got home from my checkup and went to my e-mail and re-read one of my recent posts for work and was like "oh, fucknuggets, I sound so bitchy". I mean, in my defense, everyone gets bitchy sometimes, especially when they're tired, and I was doing like five things at once while I was typing that up, and I often forget that sarcasm cannot be read over the internet, but I only forget that when I'm really tired. And by tired I mean, I have been too adrenaline-crazy between work/my final yesterday which I vastly over-studied for/attempting to get Christmas presents out to sleep more than four or five hours a night. (Note: if I promised you something for Christmas, expect it for New Year's. If I promised you something and you are not American, expect it in time for Valentine's Day.) And thank God Bones is over for the year because I have like a week's worth of dishes I've been too busy to do sitting in the kitchen, plus I have to put in a laundry and vacuum the living room. Tonight. So for obvious reasons, I'm sort of eschewing the whole finale review/picspam thing for some later date when I am bored and Merlin fandom is quiet, and then I will be all SURPRISE! NINJA ATTACK OF MERLIN! And everyone will be all HOORAH HOORAH and we will celebrate jubilantly.

But tomorrow is my birthday, and you know what I'm giving myself for my birthday? A day of doing absolutely nothing. (Well, I will probably be finishing Christmas cards, and doing silly stuff like updating my fanvid wishlist because I have about five more ideas and one actually got made (!!!), but that's a fun sort of chore.) I will be lolling around the internet basking in the warm fuzzy glow cast by the re-ignition of the fandom squee machine, and then at night I am having what I consider to be The Formula For The Best Night Ever. And by that, I mean it will be me, my sister, my BFF, and my dog marathoning 30 Rock while eating Chinese food, and then the dog will sleep over curled up against my tummy. Because clearly, I am a hardcore party animal like that. You know what else I'm giving myself for my birthday? A GIANT NAP. WHICH IS REALLY THE ONLY THING LEFT THAT I WANT FROM THE UNIVERSE. Well, at least on my realistic wishlist, because I don't think that, say, I will grow three inches overnight, or Joseph Gordon-Levitt is going to ring the doorbell tomorrow and ask me out with a sidebar of marrying him.

UNTIL THEN! PLEASE SQUEE AT ME. ACCEPTABLE TOPICS OF DISCUSSION INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

- SCOTT CAAN AND THAT PICTURE OF HIM EATING A TRIPLE ORGASM CAKE TO CELEBRATE HIS GOLDEN GLOBE NOM BECAUSE OMG WTF ADORABLE
- THE PETITION THAT SOMEONE NEEDS TO START TO MAKE SCOTT CAAN BE SHIRTLESS BECAUSE REALLY NOW
- THIS MUSIC VIDEO WHICH I HAVE WATCHED LIKE EIGHT BILLION TIMES AND THE FIRST TIME I SAW IT I WAS SO HAPPY I NEARLY THREW UP FROM SMILING TOO HARD
- ALEX O'LOUGHLIN IS RIDICULOUS AND ADORABLE UNTIL HE SPEAKS WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT, AT WHICH POINT SUDDENLY HE IS IRRESISTIBLY ATTRACTIVE AND I WANT TO HUG HIM UNTIL HIS EYES POP OUT LIKE ONE OF THOSE STRESS DOLLS
- BASICALLY ANYTHING RELATING TO HAWAII 5-0 BECAUSE OMG THAT SHOW IS LIKE A LITTLE OASIS OF GAY IN A BIG OLD HETEROSEXUAL DESERT
- FUZZY PUPPIES/KITTENS/GERBILS/COLIN MORGAN'S HAIR
- MY NEWEST THEORY ON COLIN MORGAN AS DISCUSSED WITH [livejournal.com profile] copperiisulfate: HE IS ACTUALLY ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES, BUT HE GOT KICKED OUT OF THE NORTH POLE BECAUSE HE WAS CAUSING ALL THE OTHER ELVES TO HAVE SEXUALITY CRISES AND IT WAS SLOWING DOWN PRODUCTIVITY
- THE WAY COLIN MORGAN SAYS WORDS
- THE FACT THAT BRADLEY JAMES TOTALLY UNSECRETLY READS LIVEJOURNAL BECAUSE AHAHAHAH, BRADLEY JAMES, YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU EXIST
- THIS EXISTS AND IS TRUE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT'S REALLY DELICIOUS? CAKE IS REALLY DELICIOUS
- SO ARE CUPCAKES
- OR PIE
- I LOVE BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH'S FACE AND I FEEL WE DON'T DISCUSS THIS ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO LOVELY SOMETIMES I WANT TO CREATE CHARTS DISCUSSING, LIKE, HOW HIS EYES ARE MAGNIFICENT
- I'M ON A BOAT. (DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO!)
chibirhm: (Time for the reckoning.)
Do you ever get in one of those moods where you wake up and you're all GRR ARG DO ALL THE THINGS and then you do, except your brain is still hopping on crazy adrenaline like WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE WHAT ELSE?!?! WE NEED TO DO ALL THE THINGS!!!! Because that is my brain today, and by god, its annoying. Like, chill, self, I responded to three e-mails, renewed my prescription, made two doctor's appointments, helped my mom clean the bathroom, and posted an article for work. All I need to do is watch Modern Family and Cougar Town (not exactly strenuous) and do the dishes.

Welcome to my brain. 95% of the time it's a lazy bastard, but that 5% of the time where it's not, it's a total bitch.

In more exciting news, I'm writing again! As in, fic, and not for work! Hooray! Though it will probably disappoint most of you to know that it's Hawaii 5-0 fic. Look, I'm sorry, dudes, but I haven't been able to write since Big Bang. Like, I think my brain was suffering from writing PTSD. Because LJ entries and blog posts were totally fine, but the second I opened a google doc or any form of word processor, my brain would shut down completely. And so then I thought, maybe I am burnt out on the fic for this fandom, if not the squee. So after regular Merlin I tried Merlin RPS. Nothing. Inception/Merlin crossover AU? Nothing. Inception? Nothing. Sherlock? Nothing. So at this point, I'd be excited to write fucking Smurf fanfiction, I don't even give a fuck. Also, these are the guys I'm writing about:



Okay, that is not fan-made video, that is official promotional material. I'm pretty sure when life hands you that kind of gay on a silver platter it is your prerogative - nay, your duty - to write crazy fanfiction all up in this bitch. Right now I'm not sure of the quality of my writing - it feels sort of chopped-up and lumpy. It's a lot of really great dialogue with not a lot of anything else. As in, like, descriptors. Or an actual plot. But the dialogue is so super snappy, you guys.

Also, I'm fighting really hard with myself to not name this story "How Danny Williams Got Lei'd" because 1. that's the most horrible, overused pun in the history of time and 2. That's totally not what the story is even about, but how has no one in the Hawaii 5-0 fandom used that joke yet? I'm not sure who I'm more ashamed of, myself, or everyone else.

ANYWAY, I'm boring, you don't care, here are three links for you to peruse:

ONE!
I'm normally not that much of a fan of Hyperbole and a Half. Like, it's fun, but I don't see the big deal - maybe because it was so over-hyped to me. But I still follow it because, well, fun. ANYWAY, pretty much all of her entries are meh and cute, but yesterday she wrote an entry about how her dogs reacted to her moving that almost made me pee my pants laughing so hard. Like, I was crying. Seriously. I was reading this entry last night while my parents and sister were having a Serious and Upsetting Grown-Up Conversation (About Serious and Upsetting Things) in the kitchen, and I was half-listening because I wanted to know what was going on but didn't want to actually get involved. And I knew I couldn't laugh to hard out loud because, well, the mood of the house was very solemn, but OH MY GOD THIS ARTICLE. So I ended up sitting there making these choking sobby noises, and eventually my mom was like "...Julia, are you okay? Are you.... crying?!?!" and I was like "NO!" except I sort of sounded like I was crying because I couldn't really speak. Also, I Was crying, it was just from laughter.

I don't know what it is about when she writes about her dogs, but I want her to write about them ALL THE TIME because when she wrote about the canine intelligence test? Also completely lost it. I'm not sure why I find this so funny. Maybe it has to do with having worked in a dog daycare so I can look at that ridiculous behavior and go "OH MY GOD IT'S SO TRUE AHAHHHAHAHAH DOGS". WHAT RIDICULOUS ANIMALS.

TWO!
Not for the faint of heart, but there are new stills of Colin in Parked and OH MY GOD, COLIN MORGAN. YOU ARE SO STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTBREAKING. HOW DO YOU MAKE ME CRY IN THE AWESOMEST POSSIBLE WAY?!!?!?

THREE!
Because I think Bradley James secretly has a psychic connection to my brain, this is the (very late) quest:



HE AND COLIN DISCUSS THEIR BODIES. BY WHICH HE MEANS, SWAPPING THEM. AS IN, HE AND COLIN WRITE BODYSWAP FIC IN THEIR SPARE TIME. AHAHAHAHAHA WHO ARE YOU BOYS, SERIOUSLY. ALSO, SOMEONE PLEASE PUT BRADLEY JAMES ON THE WRITING TEAM OF MERLIN, STAT. HE CLEARLY HAS THE BEST IDEAS.

EDIT: OH GREAT FRIENDSLIST, does anyone know how to code? I want to change my LJ layout very slightly - tweak it so it has a background image, widen the area the entries are in, change the colors, that sort of thing - but don't know enough about CSS to do so. If you can do so, please let me know, and I'll make out with you. A lot.
chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
You know what I hate? That part of Saturday that is pre-Merlin. I HATE IT. I'm just sitting around drumming my fingers, trying not to do anything so I won't be too tired to do my review (I have made this mistake before, which leads to sending in the column at 2 AM and lots of mental breakdowns and tears. I AM NOT GOOD UNDER PRESSURE), and NO ONE IS EVER ONLINE TO DO STUFF. It's like you people have... lives, or something. Or all you need to watch Merlin is an internet connection and a free hour. HOW QUAINT YOU ALL ARE. I have tried streaming to get a head start, but I can't get the sound to work for me, which really defeats the purpose.

Also, because I get a lot of people being all OMG YOUR JOB IS SO GREAT I LOVE AND WANT YOUR JOB HOW DO I GET YOUR JOB - you do not want my job, and there is a reason you do not want my job, and it doesn't just have to do with getting paid almost nothing. I, in addition to writing about Merlin, write about Bones. This week on Bones, Booth spent a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who I don't like, mostly because the actress is really awful. She's completely wooden, she looks like she could be his daughter, and she talks like her mouth is full of oatmeal. And so, I wrote a review to that effect. Now, in all the time I've been reviewing Bones, I have never been critical of the plot mechanisms that keep Booth and Brennan apart - quite the opposite, in fact. And in the almost three years I've been doing my job, I have never criticized someone's acting before. And yet, ever since I posted my article, I hav had my inbox constantly pinging with badly-spelled comments along the lines of "OMG YOU BOOTH/BRENNAN SHIPPERS ARE SO VICIOUS HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE HANNAH SHE IS SO PERFECT YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS BITCH BECAUSE YOU WANT BOOTH FOR YOURSELF OMG HOW DARE YOU THE ACTRESS IS FRENCH CANADIAN (for the record, I mentioned that I knew that in an earlier comment, and that my issue was not the accent but the aforementioned oatmeal mouth) YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL AND DIIIIIIEEEEE."

So, yeah. Unless you are comfortable with this happening to you, you should not do what I do. Because no matter how bland and widely-accepted your opinions are (and really, I checked, 99% of Bones fans agree with me and are, in fact, way meaner than I am. I dare you to go to their facebook page), eventually you will piss off someone. It is A Given Fact of Internet Life.

So in conclusion, sometimes my job sucks, OMG I AM SO BORED SOMEONE PLEASE PLAY WITH ME, and here are some baby otters learning how to swim (NOW THIS IS A JOB I WANT):

chibirhm: (This old heart is covered in glue.)
My First-World Reasons I am Miserable:

Uno! Impeding period. Always makes me super depressed/anxious. This month, I got to have an utterly unexplained panic attack over nothing on Sunday morning that lasted for three hours. That was three hours of uncontrollable shaking, crying, nausea, and mind-numbing terror for no reason. THREE. HOURS. Do you have any idea how INSANELY uncomfortable that is and how shaken that leaves you? IT FEELS TERRIBLE. It's like your soul vomiting. Only more painful.

Dos! EVERYONE, STOP DYING. I could emotionally handle the gay teen suicides (sort of). But I cannot handle them and then Tim Gunn making an It Gets Better video where he talks about how he tried to kill himself (TIM GUNN, MY HEART IS DELICATE AND FRAGILE AND YOU ARE MY FAVORITE), and then JGL's brother died, which I know shouldn't bother me but really, really does on two levels. The first being that whenever he'd make these tweets or tumblr posts about his brother it reminded me so strongly about how I feel about my older sister, and then my crazy over-empathy parts get involved and I start thinking about what would happen if one of my siblings died, and he was thirty-six and totally healthy! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO DIE AT THIRTY-SIX UNLESS THEY HAVE AN EXTREMELY GOOD REASON, LIKE BEING IN AN AVALANCHE, OKAY. THAT'S ONE OF MY RULES OF LIFE THAT KEEPS ME FROM TURNING INTO A PARANOID NEUROTIC MESS. (Also I feel really sad for JGL an his family and everyone, except I don't really know them or anything about the situation so it's kind of a secondary "oh, that's such a shame".)

Also, the couple whose cats I was going to watch while they went to Turkey cancelled their Turkey trip because it looks like his brother might bite it. Right before his daughter's wedding. And his brother is my parents' age. Seriously, everyone, less with the death! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.

Tres! Second week in a row of gray and rain. Ugh ugh ugh ugh.

Quatro! I went to Target to try to replace my much beloved flats and they had these great shoes almost exactly like my old ones, but the 6.5s were too small and the 7s were too big. I've tried everywhere else - the local shoe store, DSW, Zappos... AND I HATE SHOPPING, YOU GUYS. I really, really fucking need new shoes. Why can't I just find new freaking shoes? And don't even get me started on my sneaker woes. All of my shoes are legit falling apart at the seams. Like that's not a turn of phrase, they are falling apart at the seams.

On top of no luck with shoes at Target, I also had no luck with finding bags (also falling apart), any clothes (red zone situation - all my clothing fits into one dark and one light wash easily, and the light wash isn't even full, and both of those are fifty percent pajamas), or the laundry detergent my mother asked me to pick up. Though I did manage to get myself eyeshadow because my old eyeshadow has been disintegrating everywhere. Woo...hoo. Clearly, a priority.

This trip to Target took up the part of the day where I was supposed to take the dog for a walk, too, and by time I got home I was overtired, cramping, cranky, freezing cold, and so instead I passed out on my couch for two hours. And then I felt guilty the rest of the night for going out when clearly I should have been staying home taking care of my baby. (For the record, I should not have, I just feel an irrational sense of guilt anyway, and I'm hormonal/Jewish, so it was semi-crippling. My dog forgave me within thirty seconds of scratching under her chin.)

Cinqo! This week's episode of Glee was so depressing I can't even talk about it without legit feeling queasy. Usually, Glee is my special happy fun time full of campy music and devoid of logic or emotion. Robin's boyfriend comes over, Ella's over, Robin's home, we all curl up on the couch and coo at Finn and Artie because they are too precious to exist and where were those boys in high school when we were there? It's good times. TONIGHT WAS NOT GOOD TIMES, GLEE. IT WAS TAKE MY TERRIFYING WORST FEARS ABOUT PARENTS DROPPING NEARLY-DEAD AND MANIPULATING MY EMOTIONS FOR AN HOUR. AN HOUR! EVEN FINN BEING ADORABLE ABOUT FINDING JESUS ON HIS GRILLED CHEESE DIDN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

THAT MEANS I FELT PRETTY DAMN SHITTY ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, FYI.

Sies! Ever since my Fun Marathon of Terror, my stomach has been misbehaving terribly. The latest thing it has decided I cannot eat without insane nausea/indigestion? Apples. And sister and her boyfriend just went apple picking! My mother just made applesauce and apple tart! Apples are everywhere! It's fucking October in fucking New England! And I love apples!

Stomach, you and I are not on good terms right now.


YOUR JOB: Do not hug me! Do not pet my hair! Give me fun stuff! Happy stuff! Rec me fics of adorable boys in love! Youtube videos! Find adorable fuzzy things from CuteOverload backlogs! Write me comment fics!

Also if one or two of you could come over and do my laundry/the rest of my reading for class tomorrow/make it so I don't have to go to class tomorrow, I'd really like that.
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