So, disgusting story that nevertheless is an apt metaphor - I have a tendency to get constipated. And when I get constipated and am in the bathroom for a long time, my mom always starts shouting in at me about laxatives and saying how if I push that hard, I'll get hemorrhoids. I feel like good writing is a lot like taking a dump. You shouldn't have to push it.

I am unsure what the hemorrhoids are in this situation, but am I totally immature on wishing them on the Merlin writers right now? Just a little? It'll make me feel better.