chibirhm: (Clusterfuck to the Shithouse.)
What up, homes! Did you forget I had a livejournal? I bet you forgot I had a livejournal.

I'm still here, plugging away and reading your entries with sporadic/spastic commenting. Or, at least, I was, until August happened. Somehow all my doctor's appointments got shifted to the last week of July/first week of August, then we were just away Monday-Friday (with internet, but INSANELY SLOW SHITTY internet), and then I'm home this week only to go away again to my annual family camp thingy-doo, where there is no internet.

I have lost track of a lot of things. Not just my f-list. Like, there are a lot of days I just say FUCK YOU GOOGLE READER or don't read my tumblr or twitter either because jeebus cripes, have you ever noticed the internet moves really fast when you have way too much to do and then the times when you're bored no one is around? There's got to be some sort of law of physics that centers around this very principle.

So unless I've commented otherwise, this is to let you know that until the first week of September, I will not have time to catch up on my f-list. And I'm not going to bother catching up on tumblr or twitter after a weekaway, either. Therefore, if there is something I should read, comment here with a link or summary and I will read it, otherwise, I will miss it. Also! I am around on GChat (chibirhm (at) gmail (dot) com), like, all the time, and if you want my Skype, e-mail me, because it uses my real name so obviously I'm not cool posting it in a public entry.

So how have you been? There has been quite a lot going on in my life which I don't even know where to begin talking about, so, uh, Suits, amirite? SUITS IS AWESOME.

Also, the gerbils say hi. Please leave them some love too.
chibirhm: (Default)
Dropping by to say three things:

ONE! Ugh, I've been so regrettably absent, you guys, I'm sorry. If you're on my friendslist, I'll explain details in a locked post later, but for the general public, I am attempting to be an adult more and that means figuring out how to be creative and make money, and it is highly exhausting. I still read you all! I just am like UGH AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE AN LJ POST? FUCK THAT NOISE.

TWO! New default icon! Because Alberto Vargas loved redheads, and I love him.

THREE! Bradley James is on twitter! My feelings can be described in the following manner:

If I don't have at least one picture of Angel/Katie/Colin making a GTFO face at him or various blurred falling limbs that are posted within the time of filming (probably with the caption "guess who didn't want their photo taken!") or like a bazillion of him and his knights in various herp derp poses, I will both a) surprised and b) DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED. DON'T LET ME DOWN, MY FAVORITE PUPPY WHOSE WISH WAS GRANTED AND GOT TURNED INTO A REAL BOY.

(Also, this should go without saying but fandom? Be cool. He's a real person with real feelings, and he's allowed to have a private life, just like we are allowed to, in our corners of the internet, create self-indulgent fiction in regards to said private life. And while I (obviously) am a huge fan of private speculation, it doesn't need to be shoved in his face. I mean, you could, but why would you? Does it actually achieve anything besides making everyone involved uncomfortable? Not really. So just... don't be a douche.)
chibirhm: (Consider the hairpin turn.)



chibirhm: (In the shadow of your heart.)
Sorry my presence has been so spotty lately, you guys. I've been absent a lot lately because my depression/anxiety really exploded in the last few weeks. In good news, though, I'm on new medication (today is day 4) that seems to be working really well, so, hi again! I have been reading everything you've been writing, just not up to writing a lot. (Though I have been tumbling, which is because all you really have to do is hit "reblog" and then maybe write a paragraph of text. My latest masterpiece of language there was describing my longing for a dessert as "Dickensian".)

Aaaanyway, in spite of that, several boys (and one inanimate thing) that have been making me feel fabulous, so I think we should celebrate them!

Tom Hardy: Okay, I know everyone and their mother has seen this interview, but really, does anyone object to seeing it again? I THOUGHT NOT.

Between this and the utterly magnificent Benedict Cumberbatch interview he did, I've decided Alan Carr is my new hero. Also, Tom Hardy, please report to my house, I have some cookies to feed you. (What is it about Tom Hardy that makes me get all grandmotherly and sigh things like "SUCH A NICE YOUNG MAN"?!?! IDK YOU GUYS.)

Also, re: the rising star BAFTA grudge between him/Andrew Garfield - I wasn't mad then, and I'm still not mad now. I mean, this is why I didn't vote, besides that I'm not British, because they are both stupidly adorable and there are pictures of them on the internet holding babies and they both have big puppy eyes and crinkly smiles and rescue lost kittens (in Tom's case, literal, in Andrew's case, I mean Jesse Eisenberg) and seriously, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE. I CAN'T. I'm sure Andrew Garfield and Tom Hardy will both end up with fantastic roles later in their careers, win and be nominated for squidgillions of awards, and cause us much joy in our hearts and/or pants for many years to come. HEH. COME.

Colin Morgan: There are a flobbityjillion Colin Morgan things coming out because of his new play, and I assure you I have been squealing my head off over them all. WHO ARE YOU, COLIN MORGAN, AND HOW ARE YOU A REAL BOY. Like, seriously, can his mother please teach a class on How To Raise Your Children To Be That Polite And Gracious And Darling? BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW. And oh, he's just the prettiest boy in the world. I use the word prettiest very pointedly, I don't think he's like, the hottest or sexiest or most attractive in that sort of FIRE OF MY LOINS way, but by god, he's just so beautiful. HOW IS HE SO BEAUTIFUL. Like there are no bad angles on all those new stage door shots! None! He looks so lovely in all of them! It is a supernatural power. And I may be biased because in many of them he's wearing a Boston Red Sox beanie, and the number one way for any famous person to have my undying devotion is for them to cart around Red Sox paraphernalia. (See also: why I can never hate you, Ben Affleck.)

SPEAKING OF COLIN MORGAN AND BOSTON, I think I regretfully am not going to the screening of Parked that's going to be here. I was hemming and hawing all day yesterday, and I think I would have changed my mind if Colin was going to be there for a Q & A session or something (so I could shake his hand, thank him for being brilliant, and humbly request that next he do, like, a romcom or something, damn), but the fact is, I have a literal physical reaction to seeing Colin Morgan hurt or upset.

Well, okay, I have a physical reaction to seeing anyone hurt or upset unless I feel a strong disconnection of knowing they're acting. But there are certain actors (like Colin or Bradley or, and this is the one that's the worst for me, Joe) where I get too emotionally invested in their emotional well-being. I don't know why it happens with some actors and not others (there are plenty of actors I love love love and never have this problem with, like, I've been a giant Tom Hanks fan since I was very little, but it never bothers me when I see him acting hurt, and Tom Hardy I have no issue with either and we all know my deep grandmotherly feelings on him... maybe it's something with people named Tom?), but it's BAD with Colin. I can't even get through the trailer of Parked without feeling nauseous and my chest starting to tighten. It makes my throat close up and my palms start sweating to watch the end of The Lady of the Lake episode. OF MERLIN. Even after Arthur noogies him! I just can't deal with it. And I think seeing Colin Morgan get beat up and overdose on drugs on the big screen would just... it would be bad for my emotional health. Along the lines of when I was made to watch the tapes from the original Millgram experiments in AP Psych. That was a terrible idea. i was literally almost in class and shaking and everyone was like "SO I THINK WE KNOW WHO THE STATISTICAL OUTLIER IS".

Scott Caan: alkdsjflksdjf THIS MAN IS ADORABLE. Like, the hair is still worrying to me but apparently it's his thing, so whatever. The point is that I am in love with his nose and crinkly eyes and his polka dot socks omg they are the greatest. There's also a video where he's with his girlfriend and her dog and his daddy and he's adorable, my only complaint is really that FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SCOTT, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE GUM IN YOUR MOUTH? SPIT IT OUT, YOUNG MAN. JESUS.

Whichever Genius Made This: [ profile] creativepseudo sent me a link to this NES-style game of the Great Gatsby which is THE MOST NERDY AMAZING THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY UNIVERSE FOR THE LAST MONTH OR SO.

Though I can't get past the level with the giant eyes, so... help?

Fuzzy Boys:




chibirhm: (Are you a fan of delicious flavor?)
Blergh. I have been feeling a little under the weather and consequently not had the best of weeks, which is why I propose we ignore than and instead focus on SIX THINGS THAT MAKE ME REALLY SUPER HAPPY:

ONE: [ profile] puckling sent me a link to this game called Entanglement which I am ALL SORTS OF OBSESSED WITH and seriously, best timesuck ever. It took me less than 24 hours of playing to start screencapping when I did well and e-mailing her with attachments entitled HAHASUCKIT.jpg. Because I am a mature human being.

TWO: There is a new mouser at 10 Downing! If you understand why I find this so exciting, congrats, chances are you are in the Merlin fandom. If you do not understand, it's a long, fic-related story, but it can also be summed up by CAT IN ENGLAND HOLDS GOVERNMENT POSITION: COUNTRY REMAINS AWESOME IF SLIGHTLY STRANGE AND INBRED.

THREE: Not only is Colin Morgan the prettiest tortured boy in the world, but alksjdflksdj this account of him dealing with autograph scalpers. BE MORE ADORABLE, MY DARLING, I DARE YOU.

FOUR: Speaking of things I want from England, I am in desperate need of owning this commemorative William & Kate condoms for reasons of sheer hilarity, but I cannot figure out how to explain the credit card charge to my mother. BUT I NEED THEM. AUGH CONUNDRUMS.

Though seriously, the website is pretty lulzy enough all on its own.

FIVE: It's really a good thing I'm not famous and going to the Oscars, because now I'm all torn because it's fashion week again and jeebus cripes, but I do love Monique Lhuillier collection. Especially the dress pictured on the bottom left. SO MANY GREEK-INSPIRED DRESSES I WANT TO WEAR, SO LITTLE TIME.

SIX: MY GERBILS ARE SUPER-CUTE. That's the part that makes me happy. The part that makes me unhappy is that apparently one of you has been giving Gusgus secret ninja training skills, because he managed to sneak out of the cage even when I was watching, without my knowledge. I kept thinking I heard him, but I'd been up all night fretting over one thing or another and I was exhausted,so I figured it was just me being paranoid again when I swore I heard his paws, since I thought I had seen him in the cage, and so I laid down for an hour and a half nap. Only when I woke up, I still thought I heard him, so I checked the cage again and surprise! It wasn't Gus, it was a shadow. Gus had found the way to crawl inside the couch through the hole in the back and had to be lured out by avocado. He's now on strict probation and only allowed couch runs in shot bursts under my extreme supervision, which is making him a little cranky. BUT THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING YOUR MAMA WORRY, GUSGUS. SUCK IT UP.

It does, however, make for an awesome story in retrospect.
chibirhm: (Donde esta la biblioteca?)
So there was a giant tumblr meme going around where you genderswap cast shows/movies/what have you. Which is, by the way, both fun and way harder than it looks. I say this because I hadn't seen anyone do a Community genderswap (though I did, in the process of making this, get linked to two, oops), so I decided to take it on.

A week and a half later, it's done, and it was hard. My massive, massive heartfelt thank you goes to [ profile] falulatonks, who gave me a million ideas, put up with my whining, and was pretty much the best ever.

Caring about a person can be scary. Caring about six people can be a horrifying, embarrassing nightmare, at least for me. But if I can’t say it today, when can I say it? I love you guys. Oh, and Pierce, take it from an expert. These knuckleheads are right outside your heart. Let them in before it’s too late. )
chibirhm: (A pretty girl is like a melody.)
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

  • Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.


  • Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.

  • Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.

    Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.

  • Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
    and it makes arthur want to stab things
    can cranky gerbils be made nice
    fuzzy little creatures dancing around
    gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
    joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
    you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!


  • HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable [ profile] eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:

    I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Also, a while back [ profile] i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.

ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

chibirhm: (Another day in the Bartlett White House.)
Ugh, time to kill until work. I should be writing this short essay that I've been working on that actually has some promise, except I'm too bored to write. Have I mentioned Too Bored To Write feeling before? BECAUSE IT IS THE WORST AND I HATE IT. SO! I am now going to share with you the mishmash of links I have acquired, and you're going to entertain me in my comments section, and you will enjoy it, goddamn.

Excellent spam! Includes pretty dresses, memes, and a kitten and a puppy in love with each other. )
chibirhm: (I'd be lost without my blogger.)
So, this happened:

[ profile] chibirhm: I LOVE BRITISH PEOPLE
[ profile] puckling: THEY ARE A LOVELY NATION IT IS TRUE
[ profile] chibirhm: They're just like TRA LA LA SEXUALITY WOT
[ profile] chibirhm: EXACTLY
[ profile] puckling: AND WHEN THE MILK SHOULD GO IN
[ profile] chibirhm: OR SHOULD I SAY
[ profile] chibirhm: PRIORI-TEAS
[ profile] chibirhm: HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK
[ profile] chibirhm:'re pretending not to know me anymore, aren't you?
[ profile] puckling: yes
[ profile] puckling: it was the Hyucks that did it
chibirhm: (Are you my destiny?)
Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

chibirhm: (Strike a pose there's nothing to it.)
ALSDKFJSLKDJ GOLDEN GLOBES TONIGHT!!!! Guys, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I fucking love the Globes. I mean, I'm a fan of all awards shows because people in pretty dresses, but the Globes are my favorite. Movies! And television! EVERYONE ALL IN ONE PLACE! Plus I am, like, way more into Inception than I realized, because I was bored on Friday and watching the fucking Critic's Choice awards, which is like the bellybutton lint of awards shows, and I got all squealy and flappy-handed when Inception was even mentioned. Which is weird, because when I first watched it I didn't feel the way I do about most of my favorite movies, where I walk away from it like "WOW THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING I WANT TO WRITE ODES TO IT". Instead it sort of wormed its way into my heart so when I did a re-watch of it last week because I was bored/in the mood I spent the ENTIRE TIME squealing and going I HAD NO IDEA I FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS MOVIE BUT OH MY GOD I WANT TO MARRY IT AND HAVE SOME BABIES WITH IT ALSKJFLSKJ.

Another thing that totally snuck up on me is how deeply I adore red carpet fashion. But this year, it's gone from "I enjoy making catty comments" to a full-blown obsession. It started when it was New Year's Eve and E! had a marathon of the Fashion Police from last year's awards shows, and I was bored so I was like LA LA I THINK I WILL GO LOOK UP THIS YEAR'S LINES AND PLAY DRESS-UP WITH MYSELF. Only then I kept looking. And looking. And cut to now where I literally have spent days and days creating a full-blown wardrobe for myself. Which at first I wasn't going to share, because it made me feel really dorky and lame and totally out of character, but several people assured me they wanted to see, and you know what, fuck it, I'm stupidly excited. SO I WILL NOW SUBJECT YOU TO MY FASHION SENSE.


Edit: Iiiiii am officially creeped out.

So I've mentioned before that it sort of breaks my heart/amazes me a little how Joe and I have the same taste in stuff, right? I mean, granted, it's mostly stuff a lot of people (especially pretentious people) like, but more often than not, we agree. And I find that charming but not creepy because, well, a lot of people like Great Lake Swimmers and Oliver Sacks and stripey socks. Maybe not all at the same time, but still! It was more endearing that we had stuff in common than oh god get out of my brain. Except now he has officially reached levels of what the fucking what?!!? Because I started this post last night, and this morning when I woke up and went through my tumblr dash backlog/twitter, I saw that Joe updated. About loving Jon Brion.

Most of you are now going "who the fuck is Jon Brion?" THIS IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE, BECAUSE HE IS REALLY FUCKING OBSCURE. He's an instrumentalist/composer/producer who's one of those guys who has his fingers in a million indie pies, but you wouldn't know unless you specifically knew to look for him. He's most well known for composing the scores to exactly three movies: Magnolia, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I ♥ Huckabees, none of which are exactly classics everybody has watched, let alone listened to the scores to. Except me. Because I fell utterly in love with the Eternal Sunshine score, which is very, very strange, considering that usually music without words is not my deal. I don't have Magnolia (sorry, I'm not the hugest fan of Aimee Mann), but I do have the I ♥ Huckabees soundtrack, in spite of never seeing it, because I just love Jon Brion that fucking much. I love him so much, in fact, that in addition to wishing to one day have him compose the score to my life, he is my ringtone. In fact, he is several of my ringtones. The only thing he isn't on my phone is my alarm clock, because then I'd just stay in bed listening instead of getting up to take my pills and turn the damn thing off. And the reason I chose him, in addition to the fact that I straight-up just love the guy? HE'S SO OBSCURE I WILL NEVER CONFUSE MY RINGTONE WITH ANYONE ELSE'S.


chibirhm: (Care a hell of a lot for that armor.)

THINGS WE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD OF MY APPARENT INABILITY TO UPDATE MY LIVEJOURNAL: OOH, COLIN MORGAN. OOOOOOH. I've told you guys about my deep and abiding obsession I have with Colin's profile, right, and how I believe that it is the most perfect profile in the universe, from which all perfect profiles are thus derived? In case I haven't, those are my feelings. OOH COLIN MORGAN. I WOULD FEEL SWOONY AND FAINT AROUND YOU, BUT THAT WOULD MAKE YOU DEEPLY UNCOMFORTABLE.

Guys, I wish I had, like, a legitimate and good reason why I can't seem to post a lot lately. I wish I had a secret project or was a secret government agent. I wish I had gotten a new puppy/unicorn/whatever. The truth is I've been busy with really boring stuff. Like yesterday I had a meeting in Harvard Square in the morning and then I napped the afternoon away because I'm not used to having to be conscious in the morning. The day before that, I was busy shoveling two feet of snow. And then there have been a bunch of days where it's like wrote an article! Spent all day making phone calls! I've been posting on tumblr a lot because you don't really have to say anything on tumblr and it's v. v. convenient. Tumblr is also a place where it is not only socially acceptable but encouraged to blather for roughly one paragraph about eighteen times a day and no one is like kasjflkjdsfl STOP SPAMMING ME. So here are some things that, were it socially acceptable on Livejournal to spam you with four-sentence updates, I would have one so, as illustrated by .gifs:

chibirhm: (Barking up the wrong lesbian.)
(JULIA walks into kitchen rubbing stomach and pouting, brow furrowed.)
Dad: Hey kiddo, what's wrong?
Julia: My uterus hurts.
Dad: I'm sorry.
Julia: I just don't see the point. Why can't I just yank it out and agree to adopt children?
Dad: (Obviously thinking he's clever) Yes, but then what would you fill that hole with?
Julia: ...Candy.

Get on that, universe.

Ugh. Seriously, though, bad timing to get my period, universe, I have writing I need to do. Couldn't you have moved it up a week? All of last week my to-do list consisted of endless brainless tasks that could easily have been done while curled in the fetal position. I can't write about the shooting in Arizona or work on my short story (I thought up something that might actually be publishable, glory hallelujah holy crap!) or create a back-and-forth argument column with co-worker on why Kono is a total feminist and not just Obligatory Hot Girl Cop. (She says otherwise. Psh! Bitches, do not try to school me on feminism. I had Feminist Trading Cards when I was little. No joke! It was like a deck of cards my mom got me that was called "fearless historical females" or something that had a picture on one side and a mini-biography on the other. I just refer to them, however, as Feminist Trading Cards. Also, they would have been much more interesting if they had Mary Wollenscroft's batting average.)

Fun new discovery of the weekend, though - did you know if, instead of slathering your toast in butter, you spread about two spoonfuls of avocado on your toast, it tastes just as buttery and delicious? I thought it was only mildly better for you than butter, but when I asked my mom (who is so neurotic about health food you have no idea) she told me that was great because "it's the good kind of fat". I like that argument. I plan on using it the next time my mom is like "You're eating too many cookies!" Instead I will be like "But it's the good kind of fat, Mom!" and she'll be like "How do you know?" and I'll be like "Because it tastes delicious."

I love how this entry is full of so much irrefutable logic.
chibirhm: (Thumbs up for America!)
Urgh, the first week back to real life after the holidays, why must you suck so hard and be so boring? I keep meaning to update, I do, but by time I'm finished with my to-do list for the day it's late and I'm tired and I'm like "aw, fuck it". It's been a long week of cleaning this and moving that there and calling that doctor and re-scheduling that appointment and trying to sign up for this class only to realize that's the one night I can't go so attempting to get permission to take this other class blah blah telephone calls blah blah blah. There's no way even I, the master of making ordinary shit sound fake-exciting, can make that fake-exciting.

The most exciting stuff to happen to me are the four following things:

ONE - I have been having cracktacular fandom mashup dreams. I don't remember most of them, I just remember that they were fandom-y. But the one I do remember was last night's, which started with me and JGL somewhere where he was explaining what the shit his now second-to-last tweet meant. (He wrote "THE TREE OF LIFE", allcaps included, which I spent a bunch of time puzzling over. Did he see a trailer and therefore was excited for the upcoming film? Did he get drunk on Manaschevitz and have a reunion with old Hebrew School buddies and they were drunkenly singing that horrible song that's been stuck in my head ever since? (IT IS A TREE OF LIFE TO THEM THAT HOLD FAST TO IT AND ALL OF ITS SUPPORTERS ARE [clap] HAP-PY! Sing with me, fellow Jews. I can't have gone to the only Hebrew School on the planet that inflicted that monstrosity upon their students.) Was he just drunk and putting together random words because he could? I wish I could remember my dream, because I just have so many questions, real!Joe.)

Then somehow I was in this game with BBC!John and Sherlock, and it was like an escape the room game (been playing WAY too many of those) but had the same rules as the dreams in Inception. But we couldn't kill ourselves because it would compromise the investigation. Only I kept ruining that by accident and Sherlock was mad and eventually somehow this brought John and Sherlock together enough to admit their feelings and make out a lot. Which was cute for a few seconds, but then got awkward, so I went to walk around, only to find Ryan Murphy had left me a spray-painted graffiti note saying he'd come across my writing on the internet, loved it, and wanted me to move out to LA and start writing Glee with him. And then I woke up, and Dearest by Buddy Holly was stuck in my head.

Qu'est-ce que le quoi?

There are two types of dreams, in my experience, the ones where your subconscious tells you something meaningful and the ones where it's just throwing all the leftover shit together for the day and hoping you just roll with it. This week I am clearly taking a hefty sample of column B.

TWO - So, Merlin fandom, this is coming out in March:

If I don't see every variety and pairing of Sim getting it on and Sim babies, I'm gonna be disappointed in you, is all I'm saying.

THREE - Two nights ago I stayed up until 5 AM attempting to explain American politics to [ profile] alexi_lupin and [ profile] mcgooglykins, which, as always, just boils down to me explaining the whole American dream/bootstraps phenomenon. And when I explain that, I have never met a non-American who didn't go that is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. Because it is. And it sort of made me like, aw, America, why are you such a shitty country? Why do I still love you more than anything?

But then I was browsing the Best of Wikipedia archives to see if I came across anything cool, and I found the perfect example of why America is my favorite. It's because we have a Supreme Court case dedicated entirely to arguing if tomatoes legally count as a fruit or vegetable.

Is there any other country in the universe that would be that wholly ridiculous? No! (Well, by common law in Europe, apparently a carrot is considered a fruit? I am unclear on why, but wikipedia tells me it is for "jam classification purposes". Which is kind of a delightful explanation.) Only in America would we fight the Supreme Court for the right to declare tomatoes a vegetable because that's how they're used, and besides, it would get us out of that pesky tariff.


FOUR - for no reason I can discern, my bosses bought and sent me S2 of Merlin. Was it for my birthday? An addition to my Christmas bonus? They neither said when I asked nor left a note/return address with a name in it, which worried me because I forgot what town they live in an was like OH MY GOD WHO IS THIS THAT KNOWS WHERE I LIVE, IS THIS DVD TRAPPED?!?!? Thank Jesus for reverse address check-up, or I'd have been full-on Admiral Ackbar-ing it for way, way longer. Also, thank God for the best bosses ever. Seriously, the entire disc set? AW YOU GUYS. THIS MAKES UP FOR MY LACK OF SALARY.

So yeah, homes. Crazy week! Because that's how I roll.
chibirhm: (Time for the reckoning.)
Ugh, it's the worst day of the year, aka, the first day back from the holidays where you sit down to write your to-do list of all that shit you've been putting off because fuck it, it was the holidays, and realize how much you have to do and how much it sucks. My list mostly involves making lots of frustrating phone-tag calls to people I don't really want to have to call in the first place because I know the answers they're going to give me are going to spawn about eight more things I have to do, doing chores I've been putting off forever (picking up messes, various stages of laundry, dishes), and fussing over a short story idea I had that was (gasp) in no way related to fandom, and therefore may be actually publishable or shareable with my parents, who always say they want to read my fanfiction, but who I have completely banned from doing so, because as much as no boundaries exist in my family, there are a few, dude. Really.

Oh, the glamorous life of a part-time blogger, part-time student, full-time writer who will probably end up being so poor I live with my parents until I die because I am struggling with my "craft".

On the plus side, CBS in all their infinite wisdom is immediately jumping back into Hawaii 5-0 episodes with none of this January hiatus madness. Of course this means a long, painful hiatus later (god I am so obnoxious to be around when I'm cranky, can someone punch me?), but for now let's focus on the awesome - ten hours until a new episode which, by virtue of being an episode of Hawaii 5-0, will be chock full of badassery and homoeroticism - two of my favorite things in the world! Also, A NOTE TO ANYONE WHO WATCHES HAWAII 5-0 LIVE DURING EASTERN STANDARD TIME - want to livechat with me? I have AIM and GChat and it involves a lot of keymashing, inability to turn off my capslock, and snarky one-liners. GOOD TIMES. LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE UP FOR IT.

Speaking of gayness and Hawaii, Scott and Alex, what are you doing. What, what, what are you doing. Buying surfboards together?! Could you be any more married? I'm trying to refrain from further delving into RPS, but when you go surfboard shopping together in addition to all your other various shenanigans, it makes it very difficult for my brain to take, okay?

And now, to do dishes. Woo... hoo. Though before I go - for those of you wondering, last night, even though I was tired and didn't want to? Brushed my teeth. Like a boss.
chibirhm: (She's like so whatever.)
Happy New Year's everyone! I'm not fond of New Year's because I think it's a generally dumb holiday (it's been a year since that arbitrarily chosen day we celebrated last year! Hurrah!), but I have made the resolution to stop being so damn lazy at night and actually brush my fucking teeth every night, which half the time I don't do because my teeth "don't feel dirty" and I'm a disgusting slob. It's gross. It's so gross. I need to get on that. Though I failed with the one night I had to start, because I closed my eyes for two seconds waiting for a download to finish and next thing I know my mom's come down at 5 AM to turn off the light in the living room because I fell asleep (in a really uncomfortable position). So yeah, teeth brushing did not happen so much. I have asked my various animals their new year's resolutions as well. Charlie vows to chew ALL the cardboard, Gus wants to become a big boy and explore brand new couches that he has yet to poop on, and Ella wants her belly rubbed for at least three hours a day. I think that they'll probably all be relatively successful, too.

I've also been watching How I Met Your Mother with Evan (twin brother, for you newbies), who's home from college, and really, really wanted to marathon it. So obvs, I am pimping the show out like whoa, because at least once a day I make a verbal How I Met Your Mother reference and everyone in my family stares at me weird. Mostly it's great, except for the fact that Evan is romantically retarded. Like, I love him, but he really, really is. (Which is why I always use him as an argument for Bradley/Colin, because if even he looks at two dudes and thinks they're fucking/want to be, he's usually right.) I could bore you with lots of examples but I will just settle on this: we're almost done with Season 1 and Evan still thinks that Ted and Robin are The Most Perfect For Each Other Couple Ever. (And yes, he still thought that after seeing Zip Zip Zip. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN'S BRAIN.)

My reaction was roughly as follows:

I never re-watch any episodes past Mary the Paralegal because it's all Ted and Robin getting together (yuck) and Marshall and Lily temporarily breaking up (MY HEART IS BROKEN) it's just like why would I ever do that to myself? And I can just tell he's going to be cheering and beaming. WHILE MARSHALL AND LILY BREAK UP. E TU, BRUTE?

Also, I am concerned for that boy's romantic future.

And in conclusion, link dump! The... whatever it's called, that row where you can drag links for quick reference, is getting crowded, and it's entirely filled with links that are in regards to Men I Find Ridiculously Endearing And Delightful. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:
  • It sounds really lame, but honestly, if you have ever been a fan of Monsieur Cumberbatch, you should listen to him "sing" Candle in the Wind. OH CUMBERSNATCH, MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE THE OCEAN.
  • I'm starting to be seriously concerned that there's some sort of computer chip implanted in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's brain that compels him to be overwhelmingly, ridiculously endearing at exactly the right intervals such that I will become incapable of escaping from the growing chasm-like crush I have on him. This morning such an event occurred when he recommended this fabulous article by Oliver Sacks on how your brain never stops growing so you should never stop learning. I am honestly stumped by what I find the most appealing about this; the fact that he reads the New York Times op-eds, the fact that he reads and knows who OLIVER SACKS is (aka: the coolest/only scientist I legit care about), or the fact that he's all fangirly over lifetime education. EITHER WAY IT IS MIGHTY HARD TO TYPE 'ROUND THEM HEARTS IN MY EYES.
  • Speaking of endearing menfolk, everyone who failed to tell me about this Alex O'Loughlin interview is fired from life.

  • Hey everyone! Let's all go objectify sulky bb Scott Caan! Okay!
  • I would attempt to explain the glory of the following quote by Tom Hardy, in which he describes his strangest dream, but I cannot do it justice, so let's just all read it together:
    "I'm on stage at a Star Trek convention, and I'm wearing my Shinzon makeup and costume from Star Trek: Nemesis. Sitting next to me are Leo DiCaprio dressed as Captain Kirk, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Mr. Spock, Cillian Murphy as McCoy and Ellen Page as Uhura, and we’re all answering audience member questions about Inception. Suddenly, a Klingon in the audience stands up and shoots Leo in the chest, and the whole room erupts into chaos. Ellen shouts for Cillian to do something, but he tells her that he's an actor, not a doctor, so she looks at me and begs me to help, and I look at Leo and he's clearly dying, so I say I'll do what I can. I grab a ball-point pen and a microphone cord and I'm about to perform surgery when I realize I have no idea what I’m doing. Luckily, that's when I wake up."

    Alright, if you're not attracted to Tom Hardy, that's fine. I'm not attracted to him in an "I would tap that" way so much as a "I want to draw you and stare at your face FOREVER because it's sort of aesthetically fascinating". I get it! But if you don't find him ridiculously endearing after reading that, I despair for you slightly. His brain is a magnificent place.
  • HAPPY (BELATED) TWETNY-FIFTH BIRTHDAY, COLIN MORGAN, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD. I was discussing Colin's birthday/the inevitable drunken voicemails he probably gets, including the one from Bradley, with [ profile] myfoolisheart, and I was sort of amusing myself by writing them when I realized that it is shockingly easy for me to write Bradley James drunk. I attribute this on the fact that he already has almost no brain-to-mouth filter while sober.

chibirhm: (What would you do if I sang out a tune?)
A few quick things!

ONE: My laptop's fan is misaligned again and keeps hitting something and sparking, unless I keep it on a totally flat surface and do not move it. Which happened around this time last year, too. I could send it in to Lenovo to get it fixed, but the last time I did that it took them nearly two weeks to do, which is totally unacceptable. I can't live without my laptop for two weeks! And the thing is, you can track your comptuer's progress online, it took them a day to fix it, most of those two weeks were "processing and shipping". Well fuck that shit. I could drive to the hardware-fixing headquarters in Indiana, watch them fix my baby, and get it back sooner if I did the shipping myself, by carrying it on my person. Does anyone know of a place that would do hardware fixes I could just drive it to and get it back at the end of the afternoon? Like, a chain? Or somewhere in the Boston area? This is the one area I will concede Macs are superior. They drive me crazy and I hate everything about them, but damn if that genius bar in every mall isn't convenient and efficient.

TWO: Last night we had leftover lentil soup so I left some lentils for Gus, but when I looked in the cage a little later, Charlie was eating one! HURRAH, CHARLIE. YOU'RE SUCH A BRAVE GERBIL.

THREE: Everyone who didn't link me to the Ooh Commander McGarrett comic is fired from life. I will never tire of fandom adaptations of this comic. Never!

FOUR: So, this year's United States of Pop mashup came out:

For those of you who missed the extreme privilege of this last year, this is basically a guy who takes the top 25 pop hits of the year (as determined by Billboard) and mashes them all together into one SUPER SONG.

Now, the thing is, I'm a dork. I can't just listen to this song, I have to start thinking about it. And I was thinking, these things are actually a kind of interesting from an intellectual point of view. I mean if you think about why people listen to music, it's not just because it's catchy, it often has to do with it having some sort of deeper meaning for them. I don't think it's exactly a disputed fact that the arts are reflective of the state of the society it comes from. So what if I compared it to last year's? Because there are definite trends that changed visually in the music videos, and in the lyrics, and in the whole damn tone of the thing. It's like a mini-zeitgeist! It could be so cool!

On the other hand, it's really super pretentious. It is like I am purposefully peeing on the mindless pop parade. I was asking [ profile] puckling about it and she was like "you used the word 'zeitgeist'. If you need to use the word 'zeitgeist' to explain your concept, it's pretentious."

But... I kind of want to be pretentious! I don't know, is this interesting to anyone else but me? PLEASE ANSWER THIS POLL AND TELL ME.

[Poll #1662070]

FIVE: I entirely blame [ profile] cherrybina for this, but I am obsessed with Google Analytics. I installed it on this LJ and it's kind of the greatest thing ever. I'm fond of the fact that aside from searching for my username, people find me most often by googling "bradley and colin in love". Which I did, and I'm the second result. With a lot of sub-results. NOT GOING TO LIE, THIS IS KIND OF AWESOME.

But I think my favorite part of doodling around with Google Analytics is the map overlay. I have people visit this site from so many cool places. Now I know where a lot of my LJ friends are from, so I can look at a dot and be like "okay, that's so and so", but some of the places are really surprising. Like, did you know I'm popular in Glasgow? I've gotten sixteen hits from Glasgow. Glasgow! Who the frack is in Glasgow? Apparently someone(s) who thinks I'm awesome, that's who. Another place I'm randomly popular is in Tampere, Finland. At first I thought that must have been [ profile] whisperwords from when she went to visit her family there, but no, it was after she got back that someone there started visiting my site once a day. Do you see what I mean by cool? SO COOL. Though I think the coolest is that I have two people who have returned and so clearly they're reading, who are from Calcutta, India. India! THIS IS SO INDESCRIBABLY BOSS.

My only problem with Google Analytics is that I don't know how to filter out my own IP. Is there a way to do that? Because between answering comments and reading my friendslist, I am skewing the data like crazy. I am a quarter of my own hits, for serious. Which makes sense, but I don't care about how much time I spend at my own journal (answer: TOO MUCH, CLEARLY). HELP, SAVVY PEOPLE?
chibirhm: (Learning is hard.)
WHAT UP, SLUTS. Is that a good new nickname? I'm kind of feeling like new year, new fun nickname to call people, and I sort of, not going to lie, get a kick out of saying we all have a slutty relationship. As in, I'm your slut, and you're all my sluts. Re-claiming the word! For feminism! Also it's just a really fun word to say! I don't know. Feedback on this new idea. I could just go back to my old standby of "bitches and hoes".

Anyway in case that opener didn't make it clear, I'm in my lazy between-holidays phase, where like, I know I have stuff to do, but it's still the holidays! Eh! Who wants to mail returns and sign up for classes and do dishes? NOT ME.

Instead, I am doing some totally important things:

ONE: I was spazzing at [ profile] eldritchowl about my ridiculous adoration for one Joseph Gordon-Levitt and how patently unfair it is when he uses emoticons because it's only the cutest thing ever, which led us to discussing hitRECord, and how it sounded like sch a cool idea in theory, and we both really wanted to try our hands at it, but had no idea of what we should do. (Though I'd tried putting some art up but had only received a tepid response, so I was more wondering what else I could do.) Somehow this idea I had to play around with the logo of a big red record button led to the awesome yet terrible idea that I should create a little intro stop-motion animation of the record button being cute and going up to a mic, tapping it, and then going "are we recording?" (Which is what Joe says at the beginning of all his videos and some other people do too - it's like the unofficial motto.) No problem, right? It'll only be like ten seconds of footage all said and done!

HAH HAH WRONG. While a lot of the hair-tearing over continuity and tedium associated with creating a stop-motion animation can be cut out through modern fixes such as Photoshop and copy-paste, it is still ridiculously tedious. AND I THINK YOU ALL KNOW HOW GOOD I AM WITH TEDIOUS TASKS - I AM NOT. I'm not going to lie, 75% of the reason I'm keeping with this is the stubborn pride that I started it and I have nothing better to do and how cool would it be to say I drew a video? I've never done something like this before! But then that 75% runs out and I keep almost giving up, but then every time that happens Joe (he refers to himself as this, which is why I've started to as well - I feel this lends me a sense of validation) will update twitter using adorable emoticons or tumblr about his time with Russian clowns (using a clown emoticon! I can't even. He's not actually a human, okay, he is a robot programmed to make other men feel inferior about themselves). AND I CAN'T STOP EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO PUNCH MY OWN FACE IN. I mean, there is a high chance he will never see what I'm doing or care, but what if I'm capable of delighting him? WHAT IF I MAKE HIM SMILE?!?! WITH DIMPLES?!?!?!? THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY, SELF.


ngl this is by far the porniest gif in my collection

TWO: So I've been spending an extra-lot of time with my gerbils, because they're adorable and I can. Most of what they've been doing isn't entirely newsworthy - washing their faces, cuddling up and squeaky-snoring, the usual gamut of too-precious-to-exist things. Charlie has a new nickname (Marmotface, because he's got a very short, squat face for a gerbil - he looks quite a bit like a baby marmot), Gus is growing despite my explicit instructions, the usual. And then two nights ago we had lentil soup and, remembering my previous gerbils had loved lentils, I decided to let Gus and Charlie try some. And Gus loved them, but I discovered something about Charlie.

Namely, he is afraid of lentils.

Usually, Charlie loves to eat out of my hands and Gus doesn't. He trusts me, but he's an independent little fella. Charlie is clingy, Gus wants to run and eat at his own pace. It's just the way they are. But Gus LOVE LOVE LOVED the lentils. He was chowing them down like crazy and when he finished he'd just stand on his hind legs and strain with his paws open like a baby bird, all MORE MAMA MORE, FEED ME FEED ME FEED ME. But Charlie was hiding in his nest. And when I gave him a lentil he ran away. So I kept trying and trying and just dropping it near him and he kept running away, so I figured he just didn't like them. Fine. But then he ran up to Gus and started yanking at the lentil. Normally this would mean he was just being a douche and only wanted the food because Gus was eating it, even if he had the exact same thing. But no, he wasn't trying to eat it, because once he got it, he kept flinging it as far away as possible and squeaking urgently, as if to say NONONONO IT IS POISONED! POISONED! And no matter what I did, he could not be placated until Gus either ate or buried all the lentils. And he had similar problems with the split peas I gave him, though he wasn't as terrified of their inherent evil. I guess they resemble lentils too much, but he's slowly gotten over his fear and I even saw him eat one, so good on you, Marmotface. I feel you are growing up. As a gerbil.


THREE: I MISS COLIN AND BRADLEY. A LOT. This all started because I was like "I should really figure out who these Karen Gillan and Matt Smith people are even if I don't watch their show, because apparently they are adorable", so I went and was looking at the tumblrs of my friends who love them. And spoiler alert, they are adorable, but also kind of the most awkward people alive, like, even moreso than I am (and I can be pretty awkward), which I love. It makes me feel like, if you own your awkwardness, suddenly people find it endearing! That's very re-assuring. Anyway, so I saw that the person whose tumblr I was looking to had filed them under "co-stars who are totally in love" or something, and totally forgetting she was into Merlin, I was like AWWW, I LOVE THOSE, I WONDER WHO ELSE SHE MEANS, and then WHAM! BRADLEY AND COLIN AND THEIR LITTLE FACES. It's going to be, like, March, until we hear from those bastards again. And I know they're probably enjoying their holidays and calling each other twice a week to giggle over their stupid inside jokes and sending each other ridiculous presents and generally being boys, but I MISS THEM.

I've come to realize that my love for Colin and Bradley is a sort of variant on how I feel about my gerbils. It's a very maternal sort of thing where to me, they're lovely and adorable, and I just want to be around them all the time, and they make me happy when I'm sad, and I want to hold them close and pet them gently and tell them how cute they are and watch them sleep, and sometimes all that love just builds up and builds up until I just feel beaming and goofy with it because they're so cute omg. And their faces make me happy.

Look, universe, I'm not saying I want to keep them in a plexiglass tank next to my couch, okay, I'd just like for them to be around a little bit more. Because I love their faaaaces. Alternately, I would be satisfied if Bradley James got a twitter. That really, really needs to happen. I do not understand why that has not happened yet. He would be like Kanye West levels of ridiculous and unintentional hilarity, but sans the douchery. IN SHORT, IT WOULD MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.


Also, Yuletide happened! I do know a few identities of the writers (one of which because I beta'd for them) so I feel my recommendation is biased and thereby am refraining from adding them to my list. Just know they are out there, quietly spreading awesome. That being said, recommendations in alphabetical order! Hurrah!

Recs for Anne of Green Gables, Castle, Cougar Town, Hark! A Vagrant, Hawaii 5-0, Jeeves & Wooster, and the Old Spice Guy commercial. )
chibirhm: (Happiness is a warm puppy.)


I should, for legal reasons, state that no gerbils were forced to endure actual Santa hats, I just Photoshopped them on because I like to pretend I'm funny. Also, because I'm home alone and mildly bored - my family went to a friends' house for Christmas Eve, but I had just gotten up from a nap and needed to shower and didn't feel like rushing and didn't feel like being out two nights in a row with lots of loud people and too much food, so I stayed home. Which I'm sure in the long run I'll like the outcome of more, but in the short-term I am super bored.

Anways, good Yuletide wishes upon all ye who celebrate such things, and if you either a) don't or b) are hiding from people and skulking around the internet, so am I! We should chat.

Yeah, that's really all I've got to say.
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