quite a lot of trouble for such a pretty little girl

ALSDKFJSLKDJ GOLDEN GLOBES TONIGHT!!!! Guys, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I fucking love the Globes. I mean, I'm a fan of all awards shows because people in pretty dresses, but the Globes are my favorite. Movies! And television! EVERYONE ALL IN ONE PLACE! Plus I am, like, way more into Inception than I realized, because I was bored on Friday and watching the fucking Critic's Choice awards, which is like the bellybutton lint of awards shows, and I got all squealy and flappy-handed when Inception was even mentioned. Which is weird, because when I first watched it I didn't feel the way I do about most of my favorite movies, where I walk away from it like "WOW THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING I WANT TO WRITE ODES TO IT". Instead it sort of wormed its way into my heart so when I did a re-watch of it last week because I was bored/in the mood I spent the ENTIRE TIME squealing and going I HAD NO IDEA I FELT SO STRONGLY ABOUT THIS MOVIE BUT OH MY GOD I WANT TO MARRY IT AND HAVE SOME BABIES WITH IT ALSKJFLSKJ.

Another thing that totally snuck up on me is how deeply I adore red carpet fashion. But this year, it's gone from "I enjoy making catty comments" to a full-blown obsession. It started when it was New Year's Eve and E! had a marathon of the Fashion Police from last year's awards shows, and I was bored so I was like LA LA I THINK I WILL GO LOOK UP THIS YEAR'S LINES AND PLAY DRESS-UP WITH MYSELF. Only then I kept looking. And looking. And cut to now where I literally have spent days and days creating a full-blown wardrobe for myself. Which at first I wasn't going to share, because it made me feel really dorky and lame and totally out of character, but several people assured me they wanted to see, and you know what, fuck it, I'm stupidly excited. SO I WILL NOW SUBJECT YOU TO MY FASHION SENSE.

( STRIKE A POSE, THERE'S NOTHING TO IT. )


Edit: Iiiiii am officially creeped out.

So I've mentioned before that it sort of breaks my heart/amazes me a little how Joe and I have the same taste in stuff, right? I mean, granted, it's mostly stuff a lot of people (especially pretentious people) like, but more often than not, we agree. And I find that charming but not creepy because, well, a lot of people like Great Lake Swimmers and Oliver Sacks and stripey socks. Maybe not all at the same time, but still! It was more endearing that we had stuff in common than oh god get out of my brain. Except now he has officially reached levels of what the fucking what?!!? Because I started this post last night, and this morning when I woke up and went through my tumblr dash backlog/twitter, I saw that Joe updated. About loving Jon Brion.

Most of you are now going "who the fuck is Jon Brion?" THIS IS THE CORRECT RESPONSE, BECAUSE HE IS REALLY FUCKING OBSCURE. He's an instrumentalist/composer/producer who's one of those guys who has his fingers in a million indie pies, but you wouldn't know unless you specifically knew to look for him. He's most well known for composing the scores to exactly three movies: Magnolia, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and I ♥ Huckabees, none of which are exactly classics everybody has watched, let alone listened to the scores to. Except me. Because I fell utterly in love with the Eternal Sunshine score, which is very, very strange, considering that usually music without words is not my deal. I don't have Magnolia (sorry, I'm not the hugest fan of Aimee Mann), but I do have the I ♥ Huckabees soundtrack, in spite of never seeing it, because I just love Jon Brion that fucking much. I love him so much, in fact, that in addition to wishing to one day have him compose the score to my life, he is my ringtone. In fact, he is several of my ringtones. The only thing he isn't on my phone is my alarm clock, because then I'd just stay in bed listening instead of getting up to take my pills and turn the damn thing off. And the reason I chose him, in addition to the fact that I straight-up just love the guy? HE'S SO OBSCURE I WILL NEVER CONFUSE MY RINGTONE WITH ANYONE ELSE'S.

SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS? WHAT THE FRIGGDY FRACK IS GOING ON HERE.

I had another Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Future Boyfriend dream last night. This time we were in what I think was hitRECord headquarters but kind of looked like my old high school, and he was like "I AM SO SUPER INTERESTED IN YOU. BUT I GOTTA GO, SO LOOK AROUND" Which I tried to do, except it turned out to keep being bigger and bigger and bigger and I kept running into more and more people and I kept being like wtf, I just want to get back to the part where JGL and I make out, please, and he'd keep popping up occasionally like "OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE FITTING IN, I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF, BUT YOU SHOULD LOOK AROUND UNTIL I'M FREE BECAUSE I AM DEFINITELY SUPER INTO YOU" and it basically went on like this... the entire dream. VERY FUNNY, SUBCONSCIOUS. I get it! I have a totally tragic (lack of) love life and envision Monsieur Gordon-Levitt as my future boyfriend because it makes me feel better about waiting, but seriously, brain, I am waiting for a very good reason. Namely that I am busy focusing on other aspects of my life and that means that aside from my father/brother, the most meaningful relationship I am capable of having with a dude is limited to if said dude has four paws, a tail, and likes to destroy toilet paper tubes and sleep in tissue boxes. YOUR MOCKERY OF MY ROMANTIC RESOLUTIONS ARE NEITHER NEEDED NOR APPRECIATED.

I am also vaguely cranky with the fact that it is snowing freaking everywhere except here. It even snowed more in surrounding towns but we got about one inch of snow, which is the most annoying possible amount of snow you can get. It's not enough to be exciting or cancel anything, but it's exactly enough to melt during the day under people's feet and then you have to try to scrape it up before it freezes overnight. But of course, this is on a sidewalk, so it's not exactly scrape-able, since it goes in all the divots of the sidewalk and you just know that's going to turn into ice an someone's going to fall and die, BUT YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. It's almost better to just not shovel or scrape so it'll be one thick, not as nefarious sheet of ice.

So I was outside, thinking about this and attempting to scrape not-yet-ice, when a UPS guy who totally looked like a less eyebrowed/pretentious Zachary Quinto popped up with my present from sonicbookmark, aka my favorite present of all time - SOCKS. More to the point - WHACKY GATOR SOCKS. I love whacky socks! Whacky socks are the best thing of all time! My sister saw those and was like "man, those are so cool, where can I get some?" and I was like "you could go online and make friends with an awesome person named Alli, that's how".

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME, ONE, THIS FANVID:

WHAT IS IT WITH FANVIDS SET TO RAP SONGS GIVING ME FEELINGS LATELY?!?!?! RAP SONGS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME FEELINGS OTHER THAN MAKING ME WANT TO FIGHT THE POWERS THAT BE! I'M JUST OLD-SCHOOL LIKE THAT, WHAT CAN I SAY.

Also awesome, Colin Morgan in a new play! Though this is semi-cranky because once again, it's in London, which means I can't go see him act in person for realsies. This means, British people? I am officially appointing you my eyes and ears. It is your job to spread yourselves out and go to all the performances and scan the crowd and find out what other Merlin cast members went to see him and tell me if he looks like he's eating and also how magnificent he inevitably will be and take pictures until your fingers fall off. YOU KNOW THE DRILL, NOW SNAP TO IT.

And the final awesome thing - apparently under all that greasy hair an questionable facial hair choices, the guy who plays Sang Min on Hawaii 5-0, aka Will Yun Lee? APPARENTLY REALLY HOT. On a shallow note, I'd like to thank shows like Hawaii 5-0 for finally indulging my need to objectify men of all races and ethnicities. I mean, white dudes are hot and all, and I certainly objectify my share of black dudes. (My current favorite is Donald Glover. Because even when objectifying people, remember, I am at heart a pretentious hipster. And the new article where he gives a tour of his favorite parts of NYC! UNFITY UNF MCUNFERSONS. Also I find it amazing that DGloves is like, a rapping hipster. A hip-hopster if you will.) But dudes from all over Asia were seriously getting the shaft when it came to being ogled by me. There just weren't very many of them around! So thank you, Hawaii 5-0, for allowing me to be a completely shallow person in an accepting and multi-cultural manner. I MEAN SERIOUSLY:



WELL HELLO THERE, MR. LEE. THAT ICE CREAM LOOKS ALMOST AS DELICIOUS AS YOU.

So as requested, I'm working on an Art Nouveau spam. It'll probably be up on Friday because a) I have to edit the pictures so they're all the same size and not RIDICULOUSLY HUGE and the ones in series are all put together. Plus, it's taking an annoyingly long time to find artists. You would think they'd all be listed on Wikipedia, but no. I have some serious complaints about the Wikipedia article. Half the artists they link to are so obscure there's only a sentence written about them, and a good deal of them aren't Art Nouveau at all but Art Deco. A bunch are just... I don't even know what, but there is nothing Art Nouveau-y about them. Like Klimt. Why is Klimt listed as being Art Nouveau when he clearly is not? SHAPE UP WIKIPEDIA.

/PRETENTIOUS

Anyway, while I was taking a break and nosing around tumblr, like I do, I came across this picture of Joseph Gordon-Levitt:



NONE OF YOU THOUGHT TO ALERT ME TO THE EXISTENCE OF THIS PICTURE? NO ONE AT ALL? YOU ARE ALL FIRED. FIRED.

...aaaaaand that's really all. This entry is pretty much an excuse to drool over the above picture and also a shameless request for people to play with me. Comment party? Anyone want to talk about how great Raising Hope was last night? Slash how hard they want to ship Jimmy/Sabrina with me? Or how awesome that chick from Garfunkel and Oates is in it? Want me to convince you to watch Hawaii 5-0 so I have someone to keyboard mash to in realtime? Anybody at all? Beuller?

Man, Saturdays without Merlin are weird. I watched the Arthur/Merlin scenes put up online and I'm so glad I didn't put myself through the entirety of that episode, but I still feel weird for having missed it. (Though props to Monsieur Colin Morgan for making such a hilarious old man. Oh, Colincakes, when I think I can't go and love you more, you make it so I do.)

I feel so frustrated with this show, which is a really uncomfortable feeling for me. Like, spoiler alert, Arthur acts like a COMPLETE DOUCHE for the hundredth week in a row. Now, I would be fine with Arthur acting like a douche and being so fail when it comes to who he falls in love with and how he acts when he's in love if I knew that this was all feeding into some grand revelation he was going to have that he was acting like a total asshat. That wold be GREAT. If that were true, I would be cheering Arthur on to act like as much of a jerk as possible. But I know that's not going to happen. Hell, I'm pretty sure the writers think that Arthur is making progress as a human being/future king, which I honestly find a little worrying. And so when I have no faith, I feel like I'm watching them do a giant disservice to everyone to the point where it's almost disrespectful. It's disrespectful the fans, the character, Bradley, who's proven himself so capable, and frankly, the show itself, which is squandering its potential. Isn't Arthur supposed to not be a jackass? Isn't that his JOURNEY? And if they don't want to have Merlin do the job because that's too homoerotic, wasn't that supposed to be Gwen's job? That was the premise I was sold in S2, and all she seems to be doing is making him brattier and brattier. I don't care who the fuck does that job, at this point, but I need someone to. And if they won't let Gwen do it as a love interest and they certainly won't let MERLIN do it as a love interest, can they please allow Merlin to do it as a friend? Something? Anything?

This on top of the missing quest (which I choose to believe is not going up because there was no way they could edit around Colin and Bradley making out) on top of the deleted scenes that just came out, all of which explain SO MUCH about the episode and SHOULD have been part of it, is making me extremely irritated at the entirety of the Merlin production staff. Get your heads out of your asses, Beeb/Shine/The J's. I'm tired of having to watch all your failures and then fix them with fanfiction, which I can't even START until the season ends because you still have three whole episodes to fail at life. The episode commentaries for the first half of S3 are up, and I'm exceedingly disappointed that they only have two and that the Richard and Angel one is not only boring but for episode 3, the most boring filler episode of all filler episodes. Also, what a weird and awkward pairing, Angel and Richard. And what does Angel even have to say about that episode? Farting? Because that's, like, all Gwen does is fart and pet Arthur's donkey ears. How does ANYONE comment on that? How does anyone comment on that episode period? I'm pretty sure not even the most entertaining person in the universe could find a way t make that commentary awesome. At least the Bradley and Katie commentary is hilarious and delightful. I needed SOMETHING awesome and Merlin-related. So thank you, Bradley, for being adorably whiny about how all the knights have better hair and pecs than you. I needed that today. And thank god next few episodes look amazing, because I need this yucky feeling regarding Merlin to go away. It's deeply unnatural feeling.

ANYWAY, to distract myself from yucky Merlin feelings, I suggest we discuss one of the best subjects in the world to discuss, ever. Namely, hot mens. You know how there's this meme going around where it's a survival of the hottest thing, like, when you vote down the least attractive person out of ten someone's chosen until ONLY THE HOTTEST REMAIN? Like, the Battle Royale of sex? frantic_allonsy is doing it, and staraflur did it, and it looks like a lot of fun, and so honestly, I'd really like to do this meme. But there is a problem. I said this last entry and I'll say it again: when it comes to guys who I find attractive beyond "a very good-looking guy I'd say yes to if he asked me out on a date", I have narrow taste.

If we're just talking guys I find cute or attractive enough to make me do a double take or think "he's kinda cute!", there are many. Multitudes. HORDES. When it comes to guys I just find plain old good-looking (personality markers such as clothing choices or habits aside), all you really need is to be notably taller than me (at 4'11", this isn't exactly difficult), someone most people would consider vaguely attractive (like, I'm open-minded, but not enough for a third arm or a giant oozing boil), and are capable of general grooming standards. I'm easy. All sizes, shapes, and colors may apply. And honestly, that's what matters more when dating, just that you have a base attraction. And that base attraction exists for me in almost any dude who is relatively good-looking. You need something to work with, though, you know? I know from experience - my first and only boyfriend I thought was cute enough, but I wouldn't have looked twice at him were he not very, very interested in me. But I was at that age where I thought I was so wise and knowledgeable and above it all and what mattered was an attraction to someone's personality, blah blah blah. It didn't. It wasn't what ended breaking us up (that was more a factor of being fifteen), but it certainly made my end of the relationship less enjoyable.

But if we're talking guys I find just flat-out hot, or guys who make me want to fling my underwear at them, or guys who I would actually get up off my ass and proposition shamelessly instead of just giving them a once over and catching their eye for a smile, it is a narrow type. It is so, so narrow. So instead of forcing you guys to vote in a poll where you basically all have to choose from THE SAME PERSON (and because past these five hot guys, narrowing down the field of dudes I find cute is difficult - they're all cute, dammit), I'm just going to discuss the Five Hottest (According to Me) Dudes In The Universe. Because really, who objects to staring at/discussing pretty men and self deprecation? NOT I.

WARNING: BEYOND THIS POINT THIS POST IS NOT ONLY NEGLIGENT OF HOT MEN OF DIFFERENT RACES, COLORS, AND ETHNICITIES, BUT IT IS ALSO DEVOID OF MEN WHO HAVE DIFFERENT HAIR COLORS. ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST DEVOID OF ANY DIVERSITY IN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

( HELLO THERE, SAILOR. )

TRUE STORY.

So, life has been a bit of a downer lately, which I am not cool with. Being miserable blows big old chunks of... chunkiness. Therefore, I feel I should share some stuff that makes me happy. Is there ever a BAD reason to feel happy? Even if you're already happy? I THINK NOT.

Awesome Shit On Youtube!
Once upon a time, I was actually kind of a cool person. I listened to bands no one else had heard of and I was indier than thou and everyone wanted me to make them mix CDs. And now.... idk. My indie craziness has died a little. I sort of listen to mainstream indie stuff, when I listen to music at all. More often I like to have a TV show on in the background. But the point is, I would like to remind you all that at one point, I did not used to listen to exclusively to Top 40 bullshittery. And Florence + the Machine - I go on kicks of listening to her and reveling in her genius. But I think she's popular enough now I don't count as a special snowflake. THE POINT IS, if my jaded, snobby highschool indie music self saw my new favorite song, I would probably shoot myself in the face. BUT GUYS, THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE SONG EVERRRRRRRR:

Oh my god, I hate myself a little. This song is SO SLICK I can't even deal. It's so vague that every teenager in America is going to think it applies to them. I can HEAR the marketability in it. It's calculated and ridiculous and what the fuck ever, I've listened to this song like forty times today and I can't even feel ashamed through all the love in my heart.

Also, like, MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, I want a Bradley/Colin fanvid set to this. This was like, my first thought upon hearing it, along with what clips would go where. If I had any ability to create fanvids, I would do it myself. I don't care that the pronouns are wrong. I don't care that this applies to EVERY COUPLE EVER. I need this in my life. My birthday is December 17. GET ON THIS, PEOPLE.

This is like, my shameful Teenage Dream obsession 2.0. Speaking of which, the guy that made my favorite Party in the USA cover ever made mashup of Just The Way You Are and Teenage Dream. YOUTUBE YOU ARE THE BEST TO ME. EVER.

(Sidebar, the guy who does these covers would be super duper cute if he made fewer hammy faces. But he's still pretty cute.)

Also, on the subject of amazing fanvids, can someone please direct me to whoever was the genius behind THIS:

THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS NOT AMAZING AND PERFECT. THE SONG CHOICE! THE EDITING! MARSHALL AND LILY WANT TO FILL THE WORLD WITH SILLY LOVE SONGS! ASLKFJSLDKJF BARNEY'S BESOTTED LOOKS I WILL NEVER TIRE OF WHEN BARNEY HAS HEARTS IN HIS EYES FOR ROBIN. omg I know you guys think I have an allergy to heterosexual shipping but I SO DO NOT. (I just talk about them less because they actually happen.) BROTP FOR LIIIIIIIIFE. God I love them together. If the wedding they showed us at the beginning of the season on HIMYM isn't them, I'm gonna be mad. Actually, I'll live with it. I JUST WANT THOSE CRAZY KIDS TO WORK OUT, OKAY? THE WEDDING IS GIVING ME HOPES AND DREAMS THAT WILL INEVITABLY BE SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES WHILST CARTER AND BAYS LAUGH AT MY WEEPING REMAINS.

Using LJ Tokens!
So a while ago some super-kind anonymous soul gave me LJ tokens and every so often I'd look up and go "huh, I should use those to get more userpics" but every time I'd try they wouldn't let me use the tokens to pay, which was really irritating to me. But finally, finally, I got it to work. Now I just have to... find icons to fill up the spaces with. So! THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I am searching for good places to find icons, so please link me to your favorite communities. (I'm picky, but if you look at my current icons that should give you an idea of what I like.) I am searching for icons of the following:

30 Rock
How I Met Your Mother
Merlin (NEVER NOT LOOKING FOR MERLIN/MERLIN CAST ICONS. EVER.)
Community
Glee
Bones
Cougar Town?
Modern Family?
***JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT*** (I have had a constant crush on this guy since 10 Things I Hate About You. We took a brief break while he was doing all that indie stuff and had unfortunately long hair and 500 Days of Summer brought him back in my wheelhouse of DUDES I AM ALLOWED TO BONE AND NO MAN ALIVE CAN BLAME ME, EVEN IF WE ARE MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN. Inception elevated him from that to HIS PLACE ON THE LIST IS IRRELEVANT BECAUSE CLEARLY WE NEED TO HAVE BEEN MARRIED AS OF YESTERDAY SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH HIM WHENEVER I WANT. AND DO OTHER STUFF.

But seriously, I promise this isn't like a trendy thing because everyone else likes him now I'm asserting my prior claim. He is, much like Topher Grace, a man I shall carry in my heart forever. Only Topher Grace I want to carry more in my heart and JGL I want to carry more in my pants. And my heart. And all over. Oh my god. HE'S SO STUPIDLY AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE.)

( Materialism! (VERY IMAGE HEAVY) )

Phew. That took... twelve hours longer than expected. Imaginary shopping sprees are tiring, y'all.