This is like the bellybutton lint of LJ entries.

[chibirhm]

What I mean, when I say that, is that I don't really have anything to say but have a lot of links sitting at the top of my whatever that bar is called where there are bookmarks and shit that are going "YOU SHOULD WRITE ABOUT ME". So. Uh. Here is like a random list of random stuff? IDK. Mostly I'm just tired of these links hanging out, bored, and miss having comments in my inbox.

ONE:
So, I'm still not watching this week's episode of Merlin, but I did go look at the promo photos (which are the first Arthur/Gwen promo photos so fandom was all abuzz) and OH MY GOD. I'm sorry. I'm sorry! I'm trying to take this episode seriously but AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not only does this look like a really terrible pulp romance novel (trust me, I know my trashy romance novels, I bring along one on every vacation I take to do dramatic readings of), but oh my god, could the two of them look less enthused to be there? Angel looks either bored or like she's finally realized what a great pillow Bradley's chest makes an is all "yesssss, finally I can take a nap". (It does look like it makes a great pillow, let's not lie. Call me, Angel. Feel free to tell me alllll the details.) Bradley looks like he's trying not to cry and/or vomit. OH SHOW. OH ACTORS. YOU AMUSE ME SO MUCH WITH YOUR EFFORTS. It's kind of adorable! It's like this video, right?

See, the show is like the puppy and the floor is like heteronormitivity, and poor show, can't quite roll over and get its paws on solid ground. Only this time I'm rooting for the puppy to stay on his back forever. So I can rub its gay, gay widdle puppy tummy.


TWO:
So it's not, like, a secret to most people that I am STUPIDLY IN LOVE with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. STUPIDLY in love. I've nursed a crush on him since 10 Things I Hate About You. (Everyone else was all gaga over Heath Ledger. I had my eyes on the prize. Also, I was fourteen.) But for a while he was all going to college and having unfortunately long hair and so he has only recently re-surfaced into my consciousness, but he has, and with a vengeance.

Basically, if I had to make, like, a baseball card like thing of my ideal man, including looks, he would resemble Joseph Gordon-Levitt to a frankly creepy degree. And this card was created, let's remember, before I knew of him and during the time he was going through his greasy long-haired hiding-in-college thing and out of my consciousness. All the guys I've liked? Resemble him to, again, a creepy degree. If I met him in a coffee shop and he wasn't even famous I would break all my creepiness rules and pretty much throw myself at him bodily. He is that much exactly my type. (I've actually been refraining from ever doing a meme like ems did of my favorite hot guys because they all look like they could be related. JGL. Colin Morgan. Iker Casillas. Sufjan Stevens. Seriously, look them all up. The only varient is how much muscle mass they have.)

This is so unfair, you guys! Guys in real life aren't as cute as he is! Or as earnestly nerdy and pretentious! And he makes himself so stupidly accessible via his various internet outlets so all those walls you build up normally against liking a celebrity are really hard to keep up when everything seems so possible. (Which, of course, it isn't, because how many way hotter girls are there than me attempting to ensnare him using those very avenues? A LOT.)

So, if Joseph Gordon-Levitt would not mind, I would like for him to stop going to Lakers games. More specifically, Joseph, dearest, stop going to Lakers games looking so fucking cute I want to tackle you to the floor. Cease with the stripey socks that go with my stripey socks (that I am wearing right now! DAMMIT JGL)! Stop wearing horn-rimmed glasses! Which are a giant fucking nerdy pretentious kink of mine! Stop having dimples! Make your neck less nuzzlable! Don't have such gorgeous stubble! STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU SMELL LIKE HEAVEN. I am attempting to quash this fantasy I have where we live in Cambridge and own two dogs (pitbull mixes and adopted, natch) and walk to the bakery every Sunday and go to all-organic farmer's markets and listen to records on vinyl and blog about it. YOU ARE MAKING IT DIFFICULT. STOP RUINING REAL LIFE DUDES.

God you are so hot.


THREE:
Ever since Sherlock has started re-airing on PBS I've been nosing around Sherlock fandom a lot, because, well, John Watson and Sherlock Holmes are one of the greatest archetypal couples of all time. Also, Benedict Cumberbatch is ridiculously endearing. ANYWAY. One of my favorite artists of any fandom I've ever been in is pollums. Her work is so gorgeous and stylized and amazing I can hardly stand it. I am, like, in physical contorted agony over how jealous I am of her talent. She's been doing sketches every day for November and she did this one of Sherlock and John kissing and oh my shit. OH MY GIDDY MAIDEN AUNT. I can't, you guys. I just can't. I cannot even. I. I give up. On life. THIS IS TOO GOOD TO EXIST AND BE REAL. I CLEARLY HAVE DONE VERY KIND THINGS TO DESERVE SUCH BEAUTY IN MY LIFE.

BRB STARING IN ADORATION FOR FOREVER.


FOUR:
I'm kind of stupidly excited by the fact that Jon Stewart is going to be on Rachel Maddow's show tomorrow. Like, looking-forward-to-it-all-week excited. Counting-down-the-hours excited. I may have to wear restrictive clothing to not injure myself from flailing somehow. I might not even wait until midnight and WATCH THE ENTIRE THING AS IT AIRS.

Oh, who am I kidding, that'll fuck with my nightly routine of Maddow at Midnight. BUT OH MY GOD WHO HAS TWO SUPER-LIBERAL THUMBS AND IS EXITED? THIS GIRL.


FIVE:
There was no new Cougar Town or Modern Family tonight because of the Country Music Awards. Aren't those award ceremonies usually on the weekends? FUCKING HILLBILLIES.