quite a lot of trouble for such a pretty little girl

Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.

• Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.
  
  
• THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:
  
  
  
  
• Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.
  
  
• Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.
  
  Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future.
  
  
• Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
  and it makes arthur want to stab things
  can cranky gerbils be made nice
  fuzzy little creatures dancing around
  gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
  joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
  you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!
  
  GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE.
  
  
• HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:
  
  
  
  I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.
  
  

Also, a while back i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!

1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.

2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.

ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.

3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.

4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.

5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.



ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.

BEEEEEEEP.

TRUE STORY.

So, life has been a bit of a downer lately, which I am not cool with. Being miserable blows big old chunks of... chunkiness. Therefore, I feel I should share some stuff that makes me happy. Is there ever a BAD reason to feel happy? Even if you're already happy? I THINK NOT.

Awesome Shit On Youtube!
Once upon a time, I was actually kind of a cool person. I listened to bands no one else had heard of and I was indier than thou and everyone wanted me to make them mix CDs. And now.... idk. My indie craziness has died a little. I sort of listen to mainstream indie stuff, when I listen to music at all. More often I like to have a TV show on in the background. But the point is, I would like to remind you all that at one point, I did not used to listen to exclusively to Top 40 bullshittery. And Florence + the Machine - I go on kicks of listening to her and reveling in her genius. But I think she's popular enough now I don't count as a special snowflake. THE POINT IS, if my jaded, snobby highschool indie music self saw my new favorite song, I would probably shoot myself in the face. BUT GUYS, THIS IS LIKE MY NEW FAVORITE SONG EVERRRRRRRR:

Oh my god, I hate myself a little. This song is SO SLICK I can't even deal. It's so vague that every teenager in America is going to think it applies to them. I can HEAR the marketability in it. It's calculated and ridiculous and what the fuck ever, I've listened to this song like forty times today and I can't even feel ashamed through all the love in my heart.

Also, like, MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, I want a Bradley/Colin fanvid set to this. This was like, my first thought upon hearing it, along with what clips would go where. If I had any ability to create fanvids, I would do it myself. I don't care that the pronouns are wrong. I don't care that this applies to EVERY COUPLE EVER. I need this in my life. My birthday is December 17. GET ON THIS, PEOPLE.

This is like, my shameful Teenage Dream obsession 2.0. Speaking of which, the guy that made my favorite Party in the USA cover ever made mashup of Just The Way You Are and Teenage Dream. YOUTUBE YOU ARE THE BEST TO ME. EVER.

(Sidebar, the guy who does these covers would be super duper cute if he made fewer hammy faces. But he's still pretty cute.)

Also, on the subject of amazing fanvids, can someone please direct me to whoever was the genius behind THIS:

THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT THIS THAT IS NOT AMAZING AND PERFECT. THE SONG CHOICE! THE EDITING! MARSHALL AND LILY WANT TO FILL THE WORLD WITH SILLY LOVE SONGS! ASLKFJSLDKJF BARNEY'S BESOTTED LOOKS I WILL NEVER TIRE OF WHEN BARNEY HAS HEARTS IN HIS EYES FOR ROBIN. omg I know you guys think I have an allergy to heterosexual shipping but I SO DO NOT. (I just talk about them less because they actually happen.) BROTP FOR LIIIIIIIIFE. God I love them together. If the wedding they showed us at the beginning of the season on HIMYM isn't them, I'm gonna be mad. Actually, I'll live with it. I JUST WANT THOSE CRAZY KIDS TO WORK OUT, OKAY? THE WEDDING IS GIVING ME HOPES AND DREAMS THAT WILL INEVITABLY BE SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES WHILST CARTER AND BAYS LAUGH AT MY WEEPING REMAINS.

Using LJ Tokens!
So a while ago some super-kind anonymous soul gave me LJ tokens and every so often I'd look up and go "huh, I should use those to get more userpics" but every time I'd try they wouldn't let me use the tokens to pay, which was really irritating to me. But finally, finally, I got it to work. Now I just have to... find icons to fill up the spaces with. So! THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN. I am searching for good places to find icons, so please link me to your favorite communities. (I'm picky, but if you look at my current icons that should give you an idea of what I like.) I am searching for icons of the following:

30 Rock
How I Met Your Mother
Merlin (NEVER NOT LOOKING FOR MERLIN/MERLIN CAST ICONS. EVER.)
Community
Glee
Bones
Cougar Town?
Modern Family?
***JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT*** (I have had a constant crush on this guy since 10 Things I Hate About You. We took a brief break while he was doing all that indie stuff and had unfortunately long hair and 500 Days of Summer brought him back in my wheelhouse of DUDES I AM ALLOWED TO BONE AND NO MAN ALIVE CAN BLAME ME, EVEN IF WE ARE MARRIED WITH FIVE CHILDREN. Inception elevated him from that to HIS PLACE ON THE LIST IS IRRELEVANT BECAUSE CLEARLY WE NEED TO HAVE BEEN MARRIED AS OF YESTERDAY SO I CAN MAKE OUT WITH HIM WHENEVER I WANT. AND DO OTHER STUFF.

But seriously, I promise this isn't like a trendy thing because everyone else likes him now I'm asserting my prior claim. He is, much like Topher Grace, a man I shall carry in my heart forever. Only Topher Grace I want to carry more in my heart and JGL I want to carry more in my pants. And my heart. And all over. Oh my god. HE'S SO STUPIDLY AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE.)

( Materialism! (VERY IMAGE HEAVY) )

Phew. That took... twelve hours longer than expected. Imaginary shopping sprees are tiring, y'all.

Good News!: There was a guy who looked like a slightly smaller-lipped Tom Hardy on the T on my way home from class.
Bad News!: He was a total jackass super-blonde prepster who littered and was using the bars you hold on to during rush hour as monkey bars. Why did you have to be a tool, Not-Tom-Hardy? You had all that potential, and you wasted it. Or maybe you were just wasted.

SIGH.

Anyway! People asked for pictures, so! Pictures! I may or may not have spent the entire time I was resizing and posting these with this as my soundtrack.

What do you mean, it's not cool to have this in your top five movies of all time? It's kind of the greatest ever.

( Home, gerbil, and mostly my clothes. )


Edit: I make no bones about the fact that, as utterly stupid as I think it is, I read mean_merlin. I've found I like to be abreast (that word will never not make me giggle because I'm twelve) of what direction the crazy is taken, especially since they decided I was Kind Of A Big Deal. (This still cracks me up. Only on the internet would I ever be "a big deal". I have many leatherbound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany!) Anyway, every night, a few hours before I go to bed (enough time for crazy to happen, not too close to bedtime that if something makes me irritated I'll be up half the night huffing over it) I read what the cool haps are in Crazyville, and then I sigh over the educational system, and then I feel the need to send everyone Emily Post books. Me. Feeling that need. Me. The girl who says "nice one" after someone farts and then rates it out of ten like it's an Olympic event. Oh, internet. I love you, but you crazy.

Anyhoo, I went today and what should I find but a nice super-long discussion on the mean meme about my sex life. Now, granted, 50% of it was a) about STDs and b) so laughable I had to stuff my knuckles in my mouth not to wake people while I read it. But still, you dislike me! You really dislike me! (And thank you, anon, I agree, Colin and I would make an adorable couple. We could have socially awkward, reclusive babies with giant blue eyes who prefer books to people. It'd be great. If only I could shake that nagging feeling he was gay. Also, the Atlantic Ocean would have to dry up, but these are only minor details in the course of true love, of course.)

Now, I've learned my lesson and I never respond directly to stuff on the mean meme unless it in some way, I feel, will effect my job or is toeing the line of harassment, so I know better than to answer questions there and in great detail, in spite of my nagging urge to do so. Instead, I will say this, and this is my final word on the state of my vagina. Because, apparently, this is worth like (at least) forty odd comments and wasting a night discussing, and while I have no delusions that me actually stating the facts of the matter will do anything, let's pretend it will. It'll at least make me feel better about the whole thing.

Hello, members of the mean meme. What's up? My name is Julia, I'm almost 22, and I'm a virgin. I don't particularly care about other people's states of virginity, and I fully encourage people to have sex as much and as often as they want, so long as I am not forced to watch it. Yes, I have had people who have expressed interest in going out with/having sex with me, but generally they were either complete jackholes, not familiar with the concept of personal hygiene, guys who liked to harass me into incoherent anger as a form of flirtation (which, shockingly, I don't find turns me on), or glue sniffers. My most ardent paramour in high school was a combination of all of the above. He was special. Considering this, I feel my personal decision to preserve the state of my hymen to be a generally wise one. Thank you for your time and interest in my lady bits. Have a nice day.

P.S. As for the sub-thread on if I masturbate or not - ew. Guys, I'm aware you specialize in no boundaries, and I specialize in no boundaries, but I'm calling boundaries on this one. Whether I do or do not do the do on my doo-dad is nobody's business. In fact, it's skeevy.

I repeat, ew.