Why anyone is friends with me I don't even know.

[chibirhm]

Okay, so I have been warning you guys for a while that I am, uh, how do you say, a giant pretentious douchebag. I am like the most earnest of earnest hipsters. My honest love of things like Wes Anderson movies, indie music, and Chuck Taylors are only made more ironic by the fact that I also love Lady Gaga. My lack of effort put into being a hipster only intensifies my hipsterness! This is a fact I am forced to accept about myself.

So, Alex O'Loughlin, right? He's in Hawaii 5-0 and he's cute, but he isn't like, here are my panties, they are soaking with a combination of water I used to put out the fire you lit in them as well as my lady juices. And I was very comfortable with this fact until I saw this picture:



Now, I am still not attracted to him most of the time, but in this picture OH MY GOD HELLO I WILL CRAWL ALL OVER YOU. BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHY? HE IS WEARING HORN-RIMMED GLASSES. HE IS WEARING A CRISP OXFORD SHIRT AND IS ALL DARK-HAIRED AND BROODY AND HOLY FUCK, I'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT MY FEELINGS FOR HOT MEN IN PRETENTIOUS, HORN-RIMMED GLASSES.

That's right. You have read this correctly. I, Julia, am attracted to men, perhaps solely for the reason that they wear pretentious glasses. What has my life become.

I'm not sure if this makes my life dream of marrying Joseph Gordon-Levitt more feasible because oh my god, wouldn't we be so adorably pretentious together, or if perhaps it should be prevented because can you imagine our children? The poor bastards wouldn't have a chance. They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

You may begin your mockery, now.

Comments

[ninja-orange.livejournal.com]

They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

I AM SO GLAD THIS TOPPED MY FLIST TODAY. I miss you bb ;^;

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

*CLINGS AND NEVER EVER EVER LETS GO*

OMG BB I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WILL TOP YOUR ANYTHING ANY TIME YOU LIKE.

*WAGGLY EYEBROWS*

[puckling.livejournal.com]

mockity mock mock mock.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

WHATEVER YOU ARE JEALOUS.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

They'd come out of the womb wearing vintage t-shirts and quoting Kerouac.

Jsyk, Coke Zero burns like a motherfucker when it goes up your nose from hysterical laughter.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

I'm... sorry? THIS IS WHY I DON'T DRINK CARBONATED BEVERAGES.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

I have enough of a caffeine addiction that I'd be screwed no matter what I was drinking (can you imagine coffee? OW).

Nothing to be sorry about though, that shit was hilarious XD

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

While in utero I feel they might go through a Death Cab for Cutie phase, before deciding they're sellouts and they are so over it.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

Would Mogwai be involved somewhere in there? Or is that more of a regional hipster thing?

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, totally, they'll play that on vinyl while making the moves on what they think is a girl with a gender-neutral haircut that looks like it was run through a lawnmower.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

I feel like this entire comment should be posted to look at this fucking hipster (http://www.latfh.com/). I love it XD

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

I feel like my entire life could be on look at this fucking hipster.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

But doesn't your unironic approach to the hipster lifestyle negate its hipster-ness?

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

But is my unashamedness ironic or unironic? I'm so ironic I can't even keep up with myself anymore! I need to go talk to my scarves about this.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

And so the abyss stared back into emerald_skies and chibirhm...

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

I wasn't attracted to him when he was in Moonlight, yet thought he was hot when he played a nerdy serial killer in Criminal Minds. Again, I think it was the glasses.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

What is it about glasses that makes hot boys so much hotter?!?!?!?

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Now, I am still not attracted to him most of the time, but in this picture OH MY GOD HELLO I WILL CRAWL ALL OVER YOU.

OMG. I've always considered him empirically attractive, but this is the first time my heart pounded looking at him.

So if we're wrong, I don't want to be right!

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

I know right??! Glasses: they do things to us girls.

[i-claudia.livejournal.com]

hahahah ILU

but that is one damn hot photo. THANKSGIVING. I AM GETTING INTO THIS SHOW IF IT BRINGS DOWN THE INTERNET OF THE ENTIRE COUNTRY

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

I THINK YOUR PRETENTIOUSNESS IS ADORABLE, BB.