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ROUND TABLE MANAGER
It's been mentioned I noticed this in a few locked entries because the second I saw it I found everyone online and went "ASKLFJLSAKDFJ JAWBONE!!!!!", but the very first thing I noticed about this guy was his jawbone necklace (ie: The Recycled Necklace That Denotes Evil). I'm pretty sure this indicates that I need to find something other than Merlin episode commentaries to listen to when I need background noise. I mean, it's not like I'm halfway to memorizing them, or anything.
Nope.
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ninja_orange did some very scientific research on Eoin Macken, concluding that in fact the necklaces Gwaine (ugh, I will never not internally flinch every time I am forced to spell his name like that)is wearing are his, not part of his costume, but I'm choosing to go with my first instinct in believing that this is a sign that Gwaine attended Ye Olde Starfleete Academy. Maybe, just maybe, he was the first Kirk to go to Starfleet! Captain Gwaine Kirk! Think about it. This is almost as awesome a fandom discovery as my long-held belief that Sherlock Holmes is a Vulcan.Why all my great fandom discoveries have to do with Star Trek, I don't know, since I'm not even that much a fan. It just gives me ideas, okay.
PLEASE TELL ME I WAS NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO LAUGHED AT THE SWORD PLACEMENT DURING THIS SCENE. PLEASE. I AM NOT THE ONLY TWELVE YEAR OLD IN FANDOM, RIGHT?!
APPARENTLY IT IS REALLY, REALLY COLD IN THAT CASTLE.
Guys, it is time to discuss Merlin/Gwaine. Or, why I just can't ship it.
Oh, I want to. They're hot, Gwaine's clearly interested, and did I mention super hot? But I just can't. I left a comment on
hermette's journal which a lot of people responded to, so clearly I worded it well, which means I'm just going to copy-paste it instead of trying to re-make a good thing (so good I GOT FIC WRITTEN ABOUT IT, ASKLJDFLKSDJF!):I was personally a fan of how Gwaine kept trying to hit on Merlin. First he tried the poor-injured-puppy thing, then the shirtless thing, the the pliant drunk do-me-now thing, then he tried bringing up his Tragic Past because Merlin is clearly a sucker for a tragic past, and all along Merlin was just all like SIGH, ARTHUR ARTHUR OH I LOVE ARTHUR ARTHUR IS THE BEST AND WILL BE THE BEST KING EVER AND I LOVE ARTHUR!!! And Gwaine was all MERLIN! I HAVE A TRAGIC PAST, DIMPLES, AND RIDICULOUS WASHBOARD ABS! And Merlin was all ARTHUR IS MY DESTINY. I THINK I WILL GO DOODLE ON MY TRAPPER-KEEPER.
I think that's the real reason Gwaine left Camelot. TIRED OF PLAYING SECOND FIDDLE TO ARTHUR.
Which, yes, this is all true. And pretty much why I can't ship Merlin/Gwaine. Because while Gwaine was clearly interested in fucking the bajesus out of Merlin (because clearly he has excellent taste), Merlin was totally like LOL YOU. Every time Gwaine attempted to bond, Merlin brought up Arthur. Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. Clearly they're friends and Merlin gets along with him, but Merlin admits it himself - the real reason he wants Gwaine around, besides because he likes having friends, is because of how good a fighter he is, and how he wants him to fight for/defend Arthur. Zing! MERLIN: CONTINUING TO BE TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO WHEN PEOPLE HAVE CRUSHES ON HIM BECAUSE HE IS TOO BUSY DROOLING AFTER ARTHUR AND NAMING THEIR FUTURE CHILDREN.
Also, I'm really not a fan of the anti-Arthur sentiment that seems to be behind shipping Merlin/Gwaine. Like, oh, Gwaine would treat Merlin so much better than Arthur! Gwaine would never leave Merlin for some girl! Gwaine wouldn't throw things! Well, he probably would leave Merlin for some girl, actually. (THE SAME GIRL.) Though he wouldn't throw things. He'd probably get drunk instead.
Look, Arthur is jerk, yes, and he needs to learn how to express his feelings for Merlin in a way that doesn't involve lobbing things at Merlin's head. But in his defense, he probably has emotional hemrhoids from how constipated he is when it comes to his feelings, and he was raised as a warrior. Beating each other up is kind of what you do. In a modern context, is it awful and terrible and Arthur how could you do that? Yes. But Gaius (shockingly) made a good point - Arthur, for the standards of his time, treats Merlin ridiculously well. He has some level of respect for him, he trusts and confides in him, he's willing to defend Merlin no matter how terrible his behavior is (or appears), he puts up with Merlin, frankly, being sort of shit at his job, and with Merlin's constant rudeness. He gives Merlin time off to help Gaius/random knights that appear at the castle. He's very much improved from the utterly abusive idiot he was first season, and while sometimes he still has regressions of dumping things on Merlin/throwing things at him/generally being a dick, he also tempers those with genuine affection that's completely inappropriate, considering both of their stations.
Plus, Merlin thinks Arthur hangs the moon and stars, and Arthur's miserable without Merlin, and they are destined to be together forever. Sorry, Gwaine. You're pretty, but you're a flavor of the week. Don't worry. There are many fangirls who will sacrifice their bodies and nether regions to you for comfort.
But hey, if you're into threesomes, Gwaine is totally the top pick for that.
AND SPEAKING OF GAY:
ras_elased officially have too much fun together. We have a bunch of these started, and are kind of kicking around the idea of a crack fic where the Sassy Gay Friend comes to Camelot. What are you doing, you guys! WHAT, WHAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
There is never not time for a Bradley James' Amazing Face interlude. OH, BRADLEYCAKES. I just love you and your stupid face so much.
I absolutely cannot explain why, but I was convinced that at this point Merlin was going to run into Arthur's arms and they were going to kiss. I think it's because it reminded me of a waiting room in a hospital scene, where Arthur comes out in his scrubs looking exhausted, and Merlin goes "HOW IS (S)HE?" And Arthur goes "(S)HE'S RESTING NOW, BUT (S)HE SHOULD BE FINE", and Gwaine goes "OH THANK GOD" while Merlin rushes to Arthur's arms for a reassuring makeout. I have scolded myself over exactly how stupid this is, but still, I think I've re-watched this episode three times and every time. I expect it to happen. Like, I know it didn't happen last time, but this time, they're totally going to kiss, right?!?!?!?!?
I feel this explains everything.
For those of you on my friends-list who don't care about Merlin, I'm sorry. Have some yodeling cats:
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SIGH. FANDOM.
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it's like none of these people were in the HP fandom. You don't have to HATE someone to ship other ships. You can just ship it.
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I CAN MAKE ANYTHING BETTER WITH FANFICTION, OH YES I CAN.
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FANDOM, YOU SO CRAZY. I DON'T THINK I WANNA HAVE YO BABY.
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...which sound delicious. (HAR HAR OLD JOKE)
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Though I must admit that I do REALLY VERY MUCH miss the Arthur from season 1 who was already risking his life for Merlin in what? The 3rd episode? ):
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(please do it please do it omg please do it)
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I AM NOT EVEN FUCKING MAKING THIS UP, BUT I AM AT BORDERS AND I'M SITTING RIGHT OUTSIDE THE BREAKROOM AND WHEN I SAW "YE OLDE STARFLEET ACADEMY" THE COFFEE I WAS DRINKING WENT SPURTING OUT OF MY MOUTH IN AN IMPRESSIVE WAY ALL OVER MY LAPTOP AND JUST AS MR. HOT BORDERS GUY WAS COMING OUT OF SAID BREAKROOM AND STAAAAARED AT ME.
THIS MAY OR MAY NOT BE THE SECOND TIME THAT I SPIT COFFEE OUT IN FRONT OF HIM BECAUSE I WAS LAUGHING AT SOMEONE BEING HILARIOUS RE: MERLIN. SIGH, MY LIFE.
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THOUGH HE'S DONE SOMETHING TO HIS HAIR. HE BUZZED IT OFF. WHY, BRIAN, WHY?!
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Are we really spelling it like that? D:
Also cat yodeling = always apropos.
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Arthur and Merlin will drop in every so often from their lovenest uptown.
Leon lives in the flat below and every so often beats on the ceiling with a broom.
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ARTHUR'S FRIEND LEON GETS TOO DRUNK ONE NIGHT AND HE NEEDS SOBER MERLIN TO GIVE HIM A RIDE?
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I'm not sure. Right now I'm focussing on Leon getting pissy about Gawain's loud music. He appears to be turning into Mr Heckles from Friends...
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Also, I totally noticed the jaw bone too and laughed...and then went OMG BRADLEY FOUND ITTT.
About that necklace