I would do anything for fandom, but I won't do that.

[chibirhm]

I'm not sure what the "that" is, but I just felt like quoting Meatloaf because, really, is there a bad time to quote Meatloaf?

Anyway, I was bored this morning and I'm still super cranky over the lack of quest (WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK, BEEB), so I decided that instead of cleaning my room, I was going to transcribe the best bits of just uploaded commentaries. And by commentaries, I just mean the Bradley and Katie one, because the Richard and Angel one was boring as all hell. Honestly, I feel like they got the short end of the stick. Really? THAT episode? The only way that anyone could have anything to say about that episode is if one of them went "and this is the scene where I found Bradley and Colin making out behind the set..." or something. I make no claims to the absolute word-for-word accuracy of these quotes, since Katie and Bradley both talk over each other and I didn't write in every time they interrupted the other just to go "yeah" or something, but I kept it as close as possible. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, THAT'S WHY.


Bradley: And this is the Bretton Beacons, and the coldest I've ever been in my entire life.
Katie: I heard about this. And those poor extras, weren't they lying there all day in March, in Wales?
Bradley: Yeah, it was early March, it's throwing down, Colin can't use his mouth properly...
Katie: (Bursts out laughing)
Bradley: ...we had to do a load of takes because no one could understand what Colin was saying, and all those poor extras were drenched and lying on the ground.
Katie: And told to stop complaining and shut up and do their job! It's horrible.

Bradley: There you are!
Katie: I know, I look a bit rough.
Bradley: I prefer you like that, actually.
Katie: Do you know how many people said that!?
Bradley: I do! I...
Katie: Distressingly so! Everyone came up to me like, "God, Katie, God you look great like that," and I'm like, you're all freaks!
Bradley: Well, you just look more natural.
Katie: (scoffs) Natural. Girls naturally look like they've been dragged through a bush backwards.
Bradley: What? It's hot. (Katie cracks up.) On some girls!
Katie: Well apparently everyone in Merlin thinks so!
Bradley: Well you pull it off. Not everyone can pull it off.
Katie: You are a charming, charming, charming man.

Bradley: I apologize now for everyone listening to this. Katie and I have been dragged out of bed at a ridiculous time of morning to do this.
Katie: So we're not as perky as we probably could be.
Bradley: Not as perky as we probably could be.
Katie: Because it's our last week of filming after, like, eight months.
Bradley: It is.
Katie: And it's early.
Bradley: We're soldiering on, though.
Katie: Because we love you, it's true. And I just want to spend the time with Bradley, just the two of us. It happens so rarely.

Bradley: We're now looking at Merlin... I was going to say Mordlen...
Katie: (laughs) Mordlen.
Bradley: Merlin walking into the room.
Katie: We did a lot of close-ups of me and you on this, and we didn't use them, did we?
Bradley: We didn't use them. We didn't use a lot of shots that we do on Merlin. If we only did the shots we use it would take us half the time to film. But I quite like it like this, I think it's got a sort of voyeur kind of point of view of Merlin. He's always...
Katie: Lurking.
Bradley: Lurking, creeping into rooms.
Katie: Watching.
Bradley: And he's found himself in so many scenes now, where he'll look at the day and just won't be saying anything, and come around going, "I've got a great day today, I haven't got any lines whatsoever".
Katie: Or serving us at dinner, that's another great one.
Bradley: Serving us at dinner! He is doing that.
Katie: He did that last week. His jug pouring water all over you.
Bradley: Yeah.
Katie: By accident.

Katie: Why are you so mean to Merlin?
Bradley: Um, I think it's just one of those things where it worked early on, and they stuck with it. But if you notice, I'm less and less mean.
Katie: This is pretty mean, what you do here, though.
Bradley: True.
Katie: (sing-songs) Topless!
Bradley: But how much do I... have you seen ep, uh...
Katie: Four?
Bradley: Yeah, ep four.
Katie: With Gwaine?
Bradley: Yeah, how much do I look, like, shamed by Gwaine's... (drowned out by Katie's laughter)
Katie: Listen, it's courses for courses. Seriously. It's all a matter of taste, Bradley.
Bradley: Yeah, well.
Katie: He does have floatier hair. I'm gonna say that.
Bradley: He's, he's got intimidate pecs.
Katie: My god, it's like a Pantene ad. Just... swooshing.
Bradley: Yeah, he's got the best hair in Camelot. All the women...
Katie: Oi, oi, oi, I've got pretty good hair, don't take it away from me.
Bradley: But Gwaine has got... come on, you're probably a bit jealous.
Katie: Yeah. He's also got better pecs than me. It's true.
Bradley: There you go. (pause) And then when he leans out the window, did you see that scene?
Katie: (laughing) That gratuitous shot where he's just leaning with the hair glistening.
Bradley: Where me and every other guy are going "God, I hate that guy" and every girl is going "Oh my god!"

Katie: (after Morgana walks away from Uther, smirking) D'you think I might be evil?
Bradley: You have got a few of those looks.
Katie: Oh, don't even get me started.

Bradley: (on Emilia) Um, so you guys are sisters.
Katie: Yes we are.
Bradley: You've got different colored eyes and different colored hair.
Katie: And you couldn't find two people who look more dissimilar.
Bradley: Well, Angel looks a bit different than her.
Katie: Okay, yeah, but I mean, cast as sisters.
Bradley: Yeah, right.
Katie: I mean...
Bradley: Richard looks a bit different too.
Katie: (laughing) We could list a lot of people who look different to Millie, but only I'm playing her sister. She looks like you, though, I always thought.
Bradley: Yeah.
Katie: Especially when she came in to play in the first episode, I was like, they've got this the wrong way, she should be, she should be Arthur's sister.
Bradley: Are you saying that only because she's blond?
Katie: No, no! Blond and pretty and, you know, big eyes. Like you!

Katie: (on the prop mandrake root) We named this guy Manny.
Bradley: You named... a rubber..
Katie: He looks like a parsnip. Yeah, mandrake root. Manny.
Bradley: Fans, are going to latch on that, and they're going to be at a Q&A... (puts on nasal voice) "Oh, oh, how's Manny? How's Hugo?" (back to normal voice) My god...
Katie: I love him. He's great. I probably shouldn't give away these type of secrets, though, should I?
Bradley: Well, the questions do get a bit old a bit quick.
Katie: No! I think they're brilliant!
Bradley: Well of course you are, you... you...
Katie: Because they're asking me, yeah! You're just jealous. You're just jealous you're not competing.
Bradley: That's probably it.

Arthur: I'm not going to use the blindfold, I'm just going to fight like Merlin, here.
Katie: That's just cruel, Bradley!
Bradley: That was fun!
Katie: You just enjoyed doing that to Colin, didn't you?
Bradley: (uncontrollably high-pitched giggles) I didn't realize even you guys were filming.

(After Bradley explains his philosophical reasoning for why Ygraine appears in the well)
Katie: You know, I don't think they ever thought about it that way.
Bradley: I've got it all stored inside me.
Katie: It's deep Bradley, deep.
Bradley: Like the well!
Katie: We didn't know you were that sensitive.
Bradley: Sensitive... I'm all sorts of things. I'm all sorts.
Katie: Sensitive, blond.
Bradley: Sensitive, caring...
Katie: Blond.
Bradley: Blond. Although, we knew that.

Katie: This is a new set. We built corridors in Wales so we don't have to spend so much time in France. Which kind of sucks.
Bradley: The bonus to that is that I got to get back and watch more of the World Cup.
Katie: (innocently) Was the World Cup this year?
Bradley: (laughs) The World Cup was this year. Although, saying that, I'm not sure if that was a bonus because we were so bad. But, um, by we, I mean England.
Katie: It's alright, I got what you meant.
Bradley: But um, we were able to get back from France in time to watch a lot more of it, so it...
Katie: But was that quite a lot of it? Because I remember being in France and, you know, we kind of sort of came together and it was nice. We were all with the crew, sitting in the bar and watching. It was fun! And you getting more and more angry, because everybody kept talking. You were like "I'm trying... to watch... the football..."
Bradley: No, no, see, I, I just sit in silence and watch. I'm quite focused on my, uh, on an, um, England match.
Katie: And quietly fuming because everybody's talking and having a good time.
Bradley: Well it was more the fact that, like, the guy that had the best seat in that bar...
Katie: (laughing) I can't believe yous still remember this, okay?
Bradley: No, right, the guy, who had the best seat in that bar, who sat at the front, at the est seat in the house, he was asleep.
Katie: (cackles)
Bradley: I think he was a (spark? I can't understand what he says, but it's at 22:10) or something, he'd had half a pint of beer and fell asleep.
Katie: Just didn't understand the importance of his...
Bradley: No, it was to me, like, have a seat in the back!

Katie: Ah, Rupert! It's Sir Leon!
Bradley: The biggest cheer at the screening -
Katie: - was not for us -
Bradley: - Not for anything any of us did, it was an out-of-focus shot of Rupert Young delivering a message to Uther Pendragon. That was the biggest cheer -
Katie: - and quite rightly -
Bradley: Because people were just so relieved he hadn't been burned to a crisp.
Katie: Quite rightly.

Bradley: ...Gwaine, you meet him in this series, and he comes back...
Katie: With even better hair.
Bradley: Yeah, with even more.
Katie: More hair and torso bearing.
Bradley: Because he is worth it, right.
Katie: (cracks up)

Katie: See, I feel kind of like I have robbed Colin's sneaking through corridors...
Bradley: Mm, yes, that is Colin's thing.
Katie: ...emerging from the shadows, watching from the corner.
Bradley: Hopefully we'll have Topps and one of the, like, things, will be like, "magic powers, strength, fighting dirty, sneaking ability".
Katie: Mhm. Hooded ability. Cloaked or hooded. Moving in slow-mo. Walking in slow-mo.
Bradley: Slow motion ability...
Katie: Also good.
Bradley: Morgause is winning that one.
Katie: Yeah, totally. Evil stare? I'm totally going to top you all out. Evil smile?
Bradley: Evil smile, evil stare...
Katie: All of those. There should be a wig ability.
Bradley: A wig ability. (Gaius comes on screen) Winner!

Katie: The music in this is brilliant.
Bradley: Colin kept nudging me the entire screening going "Oh, the music's great, isn't it? Oh, the music's great, isn't it!"
Katie: The music is great!
Bradley: But the whole... I was like, "yeah, it is mate, I heard you the first six times." He was really excited. He was very excited.
Katie: And look there at his little face! Aw.

(Bradley stretches and groans)
Katie: Good stretch. Good epic, epic stretch.
Bradley: Well I hadn't had one this morning because we had one so early.
Katie: I'm trying to ruin your stretch by tickling and it's not working.
Bradley: No, that's because I'm not ticklish.
Katie: I bet you are. I bet you are, I just have to find where you are.
Bradley: Yeah. (awkward pause)
Katie: It's probably getting inappropriate now, isn't it?
Bradley: (laughs, lapses into awkward silence) Ah, an inappropriate awkward silence after being prodded by Katie McGrath.
(Katie laughs, silence again.)
Bradley: I still need to stretch, though.
Katie: I still want to ruin it, but I can't be bothered again.
Bradley: Right. (stretches, probably) Alright, I feel better now.
Katie: Feel better? More focused? Head back in the game?
Bradley: It's not that I wasn't focused, Merlin fans. I'm completely focused.


Bradley: These chains are meant to be magical chains, but they don't look like...
Katie: Typical, or something?
Bradley: Yeah.
Katie: They're very shiny. I think that's the point.
Bradley: They look like chains you'd put around, like, a cupcake, or something.
Katie: You put chains around your cupcakes?
(NB: I may have misheard the "cupcake" thing. In fact, I'm pretty sure I did, but it is a HILARIOUS THING to mishear, so I left this in there.)

Katie: You can explain a lot of things in this show by it being magical.
Bradley: Yeah.
Katie: Colin's cheekbones? Magical.
Bradley: Morgause's eyeliner? Magical.
Katie: And that's an indicator of evil!
Bradley: Gwaine's hair! Magical.
Katie: I read a review where he was described as the Cheryl Cole of Merlin, or something.
Bradley: (cracks up)
Katie: I just thought that was classic.
Bradley: (still laughing) The Cheryl Cole of Merlin!
Katie: I'm going to have to tell him.
Bradley: Oh, that's a good one. The Cheryl Cole of Merlin...
Katie: It's good, isn't it?
Bradley: That's brilliant. Perfect.

Bradley: It's funny, when you first see people who were cast, and you can instantly tell the people who come in from LA.
Katie: Good teeth.
Bradley: And the people who have just sort of perfection about them, and their tan...
Katie: I was just going to say, their all-over tan. Which we got to see!
Bradley: Hopper and Eoin, they turned up really well tanned.
Katie: Santiago.
Bradley: Santiago, Hopper, and...
Katie: All have good hair, too! I'm seeing the connection.
Bradley: Well Hopper. He's got a fantastic hairline, I suppose.
Katie: There you go. And then you can tell the people from England. Pasty.
Bradley: And all us pasty people have been in the studio in Wales.
Katie: Haven't got out in months. Oh, man, epic difference.
Bradley: Months alone with no social skills left whatsoever.
Katie: That's assuming you had social skills to begin with.
Bradley: Well, I think I had a couple, but...
Katie: Did you?
Bradley: Yeah.
Katie: Really?
Bradley: I used to have friends before this show started.
Katie: (shocked) No!
Bradley: I know!

OH, THEM.

Comments

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS, because as soon as I found out that Bradley/Katie commentary was a thing I was desperate to know more, but not in a way where I'm going to put my shoddy internet through actually downloading or streaming it! Did I ever tell you you're my heee-roooooo?

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

YOU'RE WELCOME. I am happy to help feed obsessions thwarted by dial-up. Boo, dial-up.

[whisperwords.livejournal.com]

THIS PART IS MY FAVORITE:

Katie: But was that quite a lot of it? Because I remember being in France and, you know, we kind of sort of came together and it was nice. We were all with the crew, sitting in the bar and watching. It was fun! And you getting more and more angry, because everybody kept talking. You were like "I'm trying... to watch... the football..."
Bradley: No, no, see, I, I just sit in silence and watch. I'm quite focused on my, uh, on an, um, England match.
Katie: And quietly fuming because everybody's talking and having a good time.
Bradley: Well it was more the fact that, like, the guy that had the best seat in that bar...
Katie: (laughing) I can't believe yous still remember this, okay?
Bradley: No, right, the guy, who had the best seat in that bar, who sat at the front, at the est seat in the house, he was asleep.

I UNDERSTAND THE INDIGNATION, Y'SEE.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

AHAHHAHAHHAHAH. Bradley. He was SO PUT OUT at this part of the commentary. Katie's totally taking the piss and he's all FOOTBALL IS IMPORTANT OKAY. D:

[dollsome.livejournal.com]

Katie: Distressingly so! Everyone came up to me like, "God, Katie, God you look great like that," and I'm like, you're all freaks!
Bradley: Well, you just look more natural.
Katie: (scoffs) Natural. Girls naturally look like they've been dragged through a bush backwards.

Bwahaha, I read this yesterday and it is STILL my favourite!

Well, or maybe it ties with:

But I quite like it like this, I think it's got a sort of voyeur kind of point of view of Merlin. He's always...
Katie: Lurking.
Bradley: Lurking, creeping into rooms.
Katie: Watching.

'Cause: RIGHT???


And: ha ha ha, Gwaine banter!

And (okay, clearly this is just going to become me quoting back the whole entry at you)--

Katie: (after Morgana walks away from Uther, smirking) D'you think I might be evil?
Bradley: You have got a few of those looks.

YA KNOW, JUST A FEW.

MANNY THE MANDRAKE. ♥

Bradley: Sensitive... I'm all sorts of things. I'm all sorts.
Katie: Sensitive, blond.
Bradley: Sensitive, caring...
Katie: Blond.
Bradley: Blond. Although, we knew that.

JOY.


And I really, really hope they were saying "cupcakes."

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

This commentary made me simultaneously feel better and worse about everything to do with Merlin. Better, because clearly the actors are just as WTF about the ridiculousness as we are (Katie was SO FRUSTRATED with how often she had to smirk, she kept bringing it up), but worse because it makes me feel like SO WHY IS NO ONE FIXING ITTTTTTT. I mean, there is literally NO PAIRING OF PEOPLE on this show with less chemistry than Angel and Bradley. Seriously, pair either of them with ANYONE ELSE IN THE SHOW and the chemistry is like BOINNGGGGGG. Pair them with each other and every time they kiss I groan and cover my eyes. This made me miss good old days Morgana and Arthur. SO MUCH TRAGEDY.

(Also, omg, yes, I now have this image of Bradley decorating little S&M cupcakes and it's pretty damn hilarious.)

[frantic-allonsy.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, Bradley James, ILU you giant douche.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

Seriously, he is SUCH A BRATTY DARLING LITTLE PUPPY, I can't even stand it. He's like ME ME ME IT IS ALL ABOUT ME WHY AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO MEEEE? LOOK. I'M ADORABLE. LOOK AT ME ACTING SO ADORABLE.

[hermette.livejournal.com]

Bradley's got a bit of a hard on for Eoin, does he not?

Bradley: Colin kept nudging me the entire screening going "Oh, the music's great, isn't it? Oh, the music's great, isn't it!"

Oh, BOYS.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

Ahahha, I think it's hard not to, though honestly he sounded more, like, annoyed whenever he talked about his pecs, like WHAT THIS WAS MY TERRITORY. WHAT. INFRINGING. He needs Colin to stop giggling with Eoin and kiss him and tell him he'll always be the prettiest in his eyes. D:

IKR? No wonder Bradley was cranky at the screening! Colin was all up in his face and breathing in his ear and SMELLING SO GOOD and being so happy and Bradley had to keep his hands to himself. Putting someone through torture like that is probably banned by international law.

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

Bradley: Yeah, it was early March, it's throwing down, Colin can't use his mouth properly...Katie: (Bursts out laughing)
Katie and I had the same reaction, actually. I wonder why. *g*

Thank you for this!

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome!

Poor Bradders. He must have had to work so hard and in such creative was to keep Colin's mouth, ahem, warm enough to work.

[ella-bane.livejournal.com]

JULIA! That was the most awesomest thing EVER to do!

God, they were so funny together. Hee, I loved how Katie called Colin's cheekbones magical, and how eyeliner was an indicator of evil. I swear that girl is one of us. SHE IS SHE IS.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

IKR? I feel like Katie has SO MANY STORIES she's been saving up. She actually started telling one at one point and then went "no, that's a bad story and I can't tell it" and I was like !!!! KATIE MCGRATH YOU TEASING HUSSY THAT WAS WHEN BRADLEY AND COLIN WERE FOUND MAKING OUT BEHIND A TREE WASN'T IT.

[sonicbookmark.livejournal.com]

CAN'T SPEAK THROUGH THE LOVE I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW.

I MAY HAVE TO STOP BEING LAZY AND LISTEN TO THIS MYSELF.

OH, I LOVE THEM. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM. ♥__♥

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

YOU SHOULD, BRADLEY'S VOICES MAKE IT SO MUCH FUNNIER.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHA, THEY ARE SO AWESOME. THANK YOUUUUUU.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

AREN'T THEY? I WANT US ALL TO BE BFF.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

This post made my day better. Thank you!

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

No problem! I just transcribed the brilliance, none of it is mine.

[(Anonymous)]

Thank youuuu! God, I love the two of them together. Bradley is part puppy and part crotchety old man. He's going to come back next year all tanned and after having his teeth straightened, no? I really hope not.

[liversan.livejournal.com]

Damn it posted anon.

[blameitonmerlin.livejournal.com]

HAHA I LAUGHED SO HARD OMG

I needed that so much

KATIE WE SEE YOU FANGIRLING OVER THERE

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

SRSLY WE NEED TO GET HER TO A FANGIRL CONVENTION AND PLY HER WITH DRINK.

IMAGINE THE STORIES.

[giselleslash.livejournal.com]

I just finished watching this and WOT? DID BRADLEY JUST SAY COLIN WAS ON THE TOILET WHILE BRADLEY WAS DOING ONE OF HIS SCENES? COULD THEY BE MORE MARRIED??

I swear Katie is a total fangirl and I LOVE HER FOR IT.

I need a B/C commentary for this season, or even better, an OT4 commentary. Seriously, those four need to be in the sound booth together again.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

AHAHHAH YES. HE THOUGHT THAT "TOILET" WAS CODE FOR CLANDESTINE FUN TIMES BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS NOT. D:

[rayslady.livejournal.com]

BRADLEY JAMES - RECEPTICLE OF EVERY WOMAN'S SISTERLY CHEMISTRY.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

HE TRIES SO HARD TO HIT ON THEM AND FAILS SO MISERABLY.

P.S. HOW WAS BENEDICT?

[lmusic.livejournal.com]

Oh I love him a bit more now.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

I always think it's not possible, and then it is.

[sequinedfairy.livejournal.com]

they sound EXACTLY like me and my brother, it's very amusing. (except my brother is more katie like and i am less adorable than bradley.) OH CAST, I LOVE HOW PLATONIC YOU ALL ARE EXCEPT BRADLEY AND COLIN.

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

IKR? They're like the prettiest big happy family ever.

[alexi-lupin.livejournal.com]

OMG I was listening to this last night and giggling away XD I LOVE THESE TWO. AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER, AWW. I haven't listened to the Angel Richard one yet because it SOUNDS like it would be quite boring. What an odd combo. They're not the funny ones, they're both the straight man, y'know, in comedy. They bounce off the funny person! COMMENTARY PEOPLE YOU NEED A FUNNY PERSON.

The bit where they were talking about eyeliner, Katie starts teasing Bradley about how the eyeliner is how everyone knows when Bradley is being evil in his personal life, lmao XD

[alexi-lupin.livejournal.com]

By the way he says pet cage, not cupcake, but cupcake is WAYY funnier XD

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

I'm far too lazy to watch the commentaries so thank you SO MUCH for this, it was fantastic =)

[chibirhm.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome! It was such a hardship, listening to Katie and Bradley be witty.

[aeternitasbeach.livejournal.com]

I feel like a bit of a traitor because B+C commentaries are my favourite things ever but this was so darned epic with them picking out all the ridiculousness and the tickling and just. THIS CAST.

also, this must have been nuts to type up so thanks so much for doing so. excuse me while I live in this post forever...