chibirhm | Real life is boring, the internet is awesome.

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Real life is boring, the internet is awesome.

Bonjourno, bitches!

Guys, you know what I wish someone had told me? REAL LIFE IS BORING. I don't know how people who don't have fandom do it! I don't know how I would have lived with the sheer monotony of daily existance if I lived in a pre-internet world! This is what my life, sans internet, looked like this week:

1. Shovel snow
2. Do dishes
3. Choose class and go to it, class is boring, decide to stick it out anyway
4. Do more dishes
5. Write two articles for work
6. Go to dentist, am in intense pain which leads to an excruciating headache
7. Shovel more snow
8. Feed neighbor's cats
9. Do more dishes

Thankfully for everyone, the internet exists, and with it, DELIGHTFUL THINGS, so let's discuss some things that delighted me this week instead of real life, because real life is boring.

NEW MERLIN PROMO PICTURES!
It is not exactly news that my feelings towards the Merlin powers that be are less-than-charitable (DO NOT GET ME STARTED on the commentaries for the second half of his season. SERIOUSLY, BITCHES WILL BE CUT), but I am so willing to call a temporary truce when there are all these new promo pictures. WHY WERE YOU HOLDING OUT ON US BEFORE, TPTB? UNCOOL.

OH MY GOSH THEIR FACES. Behold why I will never give up on this show. LITTLE FAAAAAAAACES. Also, Bradley your derp is showing, and this is why I love you.

THEIR MATCHING FACES OF HERPITUDE INDICATE THEIR MATCHING DESTINIES.

Yes, Gwaine looks hot here, but thanks to Tumblr, all I can see is the bee on the right and I spend the entire time I'm looking at this picture getting anxious and going FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL SOMEONE SWAT THAT THING AWAY.

Who the hell is this guy? All I know is he's super hot.

Not to be outdone by the boys, LAYDEEZ. I literally went "JEEEEESUS CRIPES" when I saw this picture. Why was this not used as the official Gwen promo? It is like ten trillion times better than whatever else they used, I can promise you. Jeebus.

I THINK AT SOME POINT BEFORE KATIE MCGRATH I WAS %100 HETEROSEXUAL? WHATEVER.

SOME THINGS THAT MAKE ME UNABASHEDLY HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT

THERE ARE PENGUINS. AND THEY WEAR SWEATERS AND I WANT ONE. IT MUST BE A PENGUIN AND IT MUST BE IN A SWEATER. IT CANNOT BE A CAT IN A SWEATER, IT CANNOT BE A PENGUIN IN SPATS. IT HAS TO BE A PENGUIN, AND IT HAS TO BE IN A SWEATER.

Andrew Garfield, for me, is like a human penguin. I have yet to see a movie he's in (I should get on this) but whenever he speaks I am filled with overwhelming fondness and the need to SMUSH HIS LITTLE ADORABLE FACE. I just. I cannot even. HE SINGS THE BED INTRUDER SONG. This is made even better by the fact that next to him, Carey Mulligan is laughing so hard she is sobbing uncontrollably. OH, ADORABLE BRITISH WEE ONES.

I found this unsourced on Tumblr, so I have no idea where it's from, but CHARLES DARWIN, POKEMON TRAINER. The longer you think about it, the more amazing it comes, until your brain just implodes from the sheer genius.

JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT EXISTS
Do I really need a reason to objectify Future Husband? I think not.

I can hear

cherrybina getting mad at me right now because this is a picture with her two mortal enemies, neckbeard and t-shirt, but fuuuuuck, do I love me some bearded Joe. I just.... I just... *grabbyhands* And t-shirts! I LOVE JOE IN T-SHIRTS. I MEAN:

ARMS. UNF. Also, GLASSES. GOOD GOD DO I LOVE HIS PRETENTIOUS HIPSTER GLASSES.

I just... can I just? Are we, yes? With the... with the lounging? And the? And the hnnng? With the... um. Yes. With the. I. Yes.

I... yes, and the... with the... I mean, um, yes. And... and the face. I. Um. Yes.

My favorite picture of Joe. Ever. Of all time. No contest. Hnnnnnn. Yes.

SOME MUSIC THAT IS GOOD
So lately I have been making an effort to actually go into my iTunes and listen to music I haven't listened to in ages, which resulted in my re-discovery of Ryan Adams. And oh my sweet fancy Moses, do I love me some Ryan Adams. He only loses to Damien Rice as FAVORITE ARTIST OF ALL TIME by a v. slim margin, and he is PERFECT AND AMAZING AND PERFECT. TO WIT:

I just. RYAN ADAMS, HOW DID I EVER FORGET HOW GOOD YOU ARE. (FYI, I highly suggest you go watch the entire special this video comes from. It gives me feeeeeelings.)

But if you are looking for something new-ish, may I suggest Adele's new fan-fucking-tastic new single?

There is nothing about this song that I don't love and is not perfect. NOT A SINGLE THING.

GENTLEGERBS!

I love these little boys to an extent which, quite frankly, should worry me, but I just can't help it. They're so precious, and I swear to God, no one realizes how delightful gerbils truly can be, but they are LOVELY.

Charlie continues to be a very steady sort. Aside from his fear of lentils (now abated) and his distrust of new places, he's an extremely well-balanced, happy little guy. If you ever come over to my house, you'll meet Charlie, and he will want to crawl all over you. He is highly dedicated to the destructive arts in a way I have never experienced before in a gerbil. He can decimate a giant box in about ten minutes flat. It's mind-boggling. He's escalated to my sweatshirts, which he deeply enjoys making gaping holes in. Overall, Senor Chuckles is a very sweet, easy gerbil. He likes to cuddle, he likes to run, he likes to chew, he likes to eat, he has lots to tell you if you hold him up to your ear, and he loves to flirt with everyone.

And then there is GusGus.

Maybe it's because he's a baby and Charlie is pretty much full-grown, but Gus is... he's special. He's very, very clever, he learned to jump up on the couch while Charlie still has no desire to do so. (He did it once so I know he can, but I think he's generally just so contented to chomp on things he just can't be bothered.) He doesn't like me paying attention to anyone but him and if I'm having Charlie cuddles, he'll jump up in my lap and start squeaking unhappily. If Charlie's bored, he'll go burrow in a corner. If Gus is unhappy, he'll start throwing little tantrums and pressing his paws against the edge of the tank like he's in a horror movie and eeping until he gets my attention. He cannot be satisfied to eat what he is given until he has made sure Charlie doesn't have something more interesting than him, and then he refuses to eat anywhere but his nest/bed. When he's running on the couch he has a game he plays with himself where he'll freeze, and then start running in frantic squiggles! And then mid-squig he'll FREEZE. RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. FREEZE. CIRCLES. CIRCLES. FREEZE. SQUIGGLE. It's like he's playing tag with himself, or going TIME TO DRILL EVASIVE MANEUVERS, SELF. And he uses those evasive maneuvers often. IE: whenever anyone but me tries to pick him up. Some days he's not in the mood for even me to pick him up, but he takes quite a while to not make flying leaps back to me when presented with a new person.

Here is a good example of Gus - this weekend, I was cat-sitting for my neighbors. Yesterday, when I left, the gerbils were asleep, I went to go feed and pet the kittens. When I came back, the gerbils were awake. And bored. And mad I'd left them. Which made me feel a little guilty but how was I supposed to know? I gave them a toilet paper tube and some sunflower seeds and picked them up and pet them, and that placated Charlie. He gave me a few love-nudges, ate some seeds, and set about doing his usual CARDBOARD DESTROY! routine.

Gus was not pleased. Every time I put him back, he'd jump right back out. I tried putting him in my sleeve and letting him run inside my sweatshirt (he likes this because it's safe and enclosed and smells like me, but he can still run around to his heart's content). I have never, ever, ever encountered a snit of Gus' that couldn't be solved by sweatshirt runs. But he was not letting me off so easily. Instead, he insisted (really, insisted, I tried moving him) on sitting directly on my keyboard. Not sniffing around my keyboard, not running on the coffee table, he had to squat right between my hands on the keyboard, and then he turned around, faced me, and stared at me. For ten minutes. For ten minutes, I was like this:

Me: Gusgus, I need you to move.
Gus: :||||||||| *SQUATS*
Me: C'mon, booboo, get in my sleeve.
Gus: *TILTS HEAD SLIGHTLY* :|||||||
Me: I can move you. I'm bigger than you.
Gus: *AVOIDS HANDS, HUNKERS DOWN* :|||||||||
Me: Look, I'm sorry, but sometimes I am going to have to leave you.
Gus: >:|||||||||
Me: If I told you I was sorry, would you move?
Gus: :||||||||||

Eventually, though, he did get bored. I mean, I don't still have a gerbil sitting on my keyboard, giving me disappointed abandoned eyes. Still, something is not quite right in that tiny brain of his.

HAWAII 5-0
HOORAY NEW EPISODE TONIGHT. Of course, this means that it will be eight days until the next new episode, But I refuse to feel sad, because this episode will feature two amazing things. One, Kono and her soulmate, A GIANT FUCKING GUN:

I love this picture. Not just because Grace Park looks pretty (WHEN DOES SHE NOT) but because she's holding that giant assault rifle and smiling the way most people do when holding up babies. And instead she's like "LOOK AT HOW EASILY I COULD BLOW YOUR FACE OFF".

Also this episode, AT LONG LAST, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE ACHIEVED SHIRTLESS SCOTT CAAN:

Like, okay, I understand if you are turned off by the hair. I, too, am turned off by the hair. But if you are one of those people who considers Scott Caan Not Your Type, I highly suggest you take your hand, cover the hair, and just ogle those shoulders for a while. THOSE SHOULDERS ARE EVERYONE'S TYPE, HOT DAMN.

FYI, I'm still mad he didn't win the Golden Globe. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for Chris Colfer, and he was my first choice for person to beat Scott Caan, and I super appreciate the political message sent by giving him the award, but having watched both performances, I thought Scott's was way more nuanced, mature, and brought a lot more to the show. Also, I'm really not fond of how Glee handles gay storylines, but that's another story for another day. We have more important things to do. Like ogle shirtless men. Mmmm, ogling.

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Gus's special snits are hysterical, adorable, and did I mention, hysterical?

I will have you know that Scott Caan's shoulders are too slopey for my personal tastes.

My favorite part of this post may or may not be Bradley James' derp-face. May or may not. Or, well, maybe the picture of JGL in the fedora. MAYBE. I can't quite... oh, fuck it, it's Bradley James.

THEY REAL ARE. I don't know why gerbils throwing temper tantrums is so wonderful (see also, The Great Lentil Scare) but THEY ARE THE BEST.

TOO SLOPEY? TOO SLOPEY??!??!?! HAVE YOU SEEN!?!??! WITH THE?!?!?! AND THE!?!?!?!?! GAAAAAAH. I WORRY ABOUT YOUR TASTE SOMETIMES.

Don't worry, bb, even I sometimes will choose that derp-face over Joe. It is the most magnificent derp-face in the history of time. Joe is hot, yes, but herp derp is eternal. OH MY BJEEMS.

ALSO HE'S HAIRY LIKE A BADGER, EW.

Mmm, B. James, your derpface is eternally gorgeous.

Here are my most important thoughts (too important to tell you on gchat), in backwards order:

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Charlie = Donovan (aka Danger Kitten). GusGus = Jupiter (aka Needy Kitten). HILARIOUS.

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THERE CANNOT BE ENOUGH HA'S ABOUT "CHARLES DARWIN, POKEMON TRAINER," WHICH I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE ON MY SCROLLDOWN BUT JUST SAW ON MY SCROLLUP OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

- SWEATERPENGUINS.

- Katie McGrath looks like she's missing an arm here. Also, I feel so with it because I didn't know who she was until like this week or last week and now I do.

- Also, remember when we were about nine or ten and you said you wanted to be a lesbian because boys were annoying? Or something to that extent.

- Um...in the olden days, people had a lot of things to do and, like horses and stuff I guess? And I guess they did things like whittle and braid whips and sew. (I am thinking of, like, the Ingalls Wilder and Alcott books as I say this.) AND READ! WE COULD ALL READ BEFORE THE INTERNET!

- Also, um, people do things like see other people in the great outdoors? and/or public venues? and/or other people's homes? And get drunk and have sex, not necessarily in that order. And, also, I've realized since moving into a place not managed by other people that cooking and cleaning really does eat up a lot of time. x_x;;;;;

- I NEED TO MEET KITTIES.

- IIIIIIIIII KNOW. I WANT TO KISS WHOEVER THOUGHT IT UP ON THE MOUTH.

- I NEED A SWEATERPENGUIN IN EVERY COLOR.

- She does but LOOK AT HER FACE, IT IS PERFECT. And I'm not surprised you didn't know who she was, unless you watch Merlin, you'd have no reason to know.

- I do. WHATEVER THAT CLEARLY DIDN'T HAPPEN.

- WE COULD, BUT BEFORE THE INTERNET HOW WOULD WE HAVE LEARNED ABOUT PENGUINS WEARING SWEATERS?!?!!? ANSWER: WE WOULD NEVER KNOW SUCH JOY.

- But 3-D people are difficult. D:

- I need to meet gerbils.

-

-

- Her Wiki picture is really unfortunate and scary. But, yeah, the reason she came into my life was because a friend had an icon of her, and I was like, "This icon/girl is so pretty!!!!! Who is she?! /superficial" Also, someone recced me a Merlin fic recently, even though I'm not in the fandom; I kept thinking of you.

-

- I CONCEDE THAT POINT.

- *pat*

IS THAT BEE FOR REAL? :O

PENGUINS IN SWEATERS.

PENGUINS.

IN.

SWEATERS.

IT IS! I COMMEND EOIN FOR MAINTAINING HIS BLUE STEEL WHILE IT WAS BUZZING THAT CLOSE.

IIIIIIII KNOW OMG.

AHAHAHAA ANDREW GARFIELD, ILU. He's actually even sort of got rhythm and stuff.

Seriously did you see the quote of his I re-blogged about how school is hard and the arts are awesome? I HONESTLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH. TALKING ABOUT HOW HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH ALL HIS CO-STARS. HIS GIANT BAMBI EYES. I JUST. I NEED TO BAKE HIM FOOD.

BRADLEYYYY. I reblogged a gif of Hunter Parrish herpderping on my tumblr, which has reinforced my opinion that Hunter and Bradley should play brothers in something.

also LOL AT THAT BEE.

I have no idea who that is, but I support anything that pays Bradley to herpderp on a regular basis.

THAT BEE MAKES ME NERVOUS, SRSLY.

He's in Weeds. Which is not a show I watch, but anyway. I've seen him when people do "Actors Who Should Play Siblings" picspams. Observe his Bradleyness.

idk I don't mind bees but there's so much SUSPENSE in that picture like WHAT DID THE BEE DO NEXT? WHAT HAPPENED? IS EOIN ALLERGIC? DID HE KNOW IT WAS THERE?

OH MY GOD THEY ARE SECRET SIBLINGS.

I know, right! SO MANY QUESTIONS, SO FEW ANSWERS.

IKR. GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH HIM.

I kind of love the word bee. it's so cute XD

"Bumblebee" is even cuter. It's a bee that bumbles.

It makes me imagine a bee with a beard and a pocketful of sweets :P

I find your distractions quite distracting :)

I'm quite fond of them!

EVIE B WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT TODAY IS HER ADOPT-A-VERSARY. SHE SAYS THUMP THUMP THUMP.

EVIE!!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE GOTTEN MANY CUDDLES AND KISSES AND RUBBY RUBS.

OMG I WANT A PENGUIN IN SWEATER TOOOOOOOO.

I WOLD NAME HIM WILBUR AND TAKE THE VERY BEST CARE OF HIM.

For the past seven years basically all I could have done without the internet would have been...school. And books. Wow. That would've been SO boring. On the other hand, perhaps my grades would have been much better. :D

Also, nom nom pictures <3 My H50 download just finished \o/

MINE TOO SO I CAN RE-WATCH. ENJOY IT!

Oh... grades. I like to think mine would have been better without the internet, but I know that's a lie.

OMG EP WAS AWESOME.
I really hope we get to see Danny surfing at some point :D

Um. FIRST: I LOVE YOUR GERBILS A LOT. That conversation sounds a lot like some conversations I have with Merlin (my cat) except she's a bit bigger so I can see her bitchface much better when she disapproves. But AW poor Gus, probably got all lonely!

And oh god those promo photos. Nevermind the boys. How is Katie so flawless?! HOW?! GAH

I know, but after a half an hour? When he can go happily for an entire day without me? Silly Gusgus.

KATIE GIVE ME A COMPLEX FOR REALS.

It was clearly his ~half-hour of need~ AND YOU JUST ABANDONED HIM :P

Pets are so funny sometimes.

Your gerbil updates are one of my favorite things in the world!

Also, it is a bazillion degress colder here than Antarctica right now, but I am still warm thanks to all of the yummy pictures.

Mmm, hot yummy people.

THAT IS GOOD, AS BABBLING ABOUT MY GERBILS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO IN THE WORLD <3

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE BB <3

ME EITHER, BOOBOO. <3

Me either, booboo <3 <3

RANDOM HOT KNIGHT GUY IS AMAZING.

COLIIIIIIIN.

I'm sorry you had to shovel so much snow. YOU SHOULD MOVE TO GEORGIA.

BUT I LOVE SNOW. :|||| I just hate shoveling. If I had trained shoveling monkeys, all my problems would be solved.

Oh man, I've that Adele song on repeat for DAYS. I fucking love her voice.

And I hate you a little bit for pointing out that damn bee. ONCE SEEN THE BEE CANNOT BE UNSEEN D:

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Real life is boring, the internet is awesome.

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odd noise from laptop speakers?