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IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE.
You know what I hate? That part of Saturday that is pre-Merlin. I HATE IT. I'm just sitting around drumming my fingers, trying not to do anything so I won't be too tired to do my review (I have made this mistake before, which leads to sending in the column at 2 AM and lots of mental breakdowns and tears. I AM NOT GOOD UNDER PRESSURE), and NO ONE IS EVER ONLINE TO DO STUFF. It's like you people have... lives, or something. Or all you need to watch Merlin is an internet connection and a free hour. HOW QUAINT YOU ALL ARE. I have tried streaming to get a head start, but I can't get the sound to work for me, which really defeats the purpose.
Also, because I get a lot of people being all OMG YOUR JOB IS SO GREAT I LOVE AND WANT YOUR JOB HOW DO I GET YOUR JOB - you do not want my job, and there is a reason you do not want my job, and it doesn't just have to do with getting paid almost nothing. I, in addition to writing about Merlin, write about Bones. This week on Bones, Booth spent a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who I don't like, mostly because the actress is really awful. She's completely wooden, she looks like she could be his daughter, and she talks like her mouth is full of oatmeal. And so, I wrote a review to that effect. Now, in all the time I've been reviewing Bones, I have never been critical of the plot mechanisms that keep Booth and Brennan apart - quite the opposite, in fact. And in the almost three years I've been doing my job, I have never criticized someone's acting before. And yet, ever since I posted my article, I hav had my inbox constantly pinging with badly-spelled comments along the lines of "OMG YOU BOOTH/BRENNAN SHIPPERS ARE SO VICIOUS HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE HANNAH SHE IS SO PERFECT YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS BITCH BECAUSE YOU WANT BOOTH FOR YOURSELF OMG HOW DARE YOU THE ACTRESS IS FRENCH CANADIAN (for the record, I mentioned that I knew that in an earlier comment, and that my issue was not the accent but the aforementioned oatmeal mouth) YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL AND DIIIIIIEEEEE."
So, yeah. Unless you are comfortable with this happening to you, you should not do what I do. Because no matter how bland and widely-accepted your opinions are (and really, I checked, 99% of Bones fans agree with me and are, in fact, way meaner than I am. I dare you to go to their facebook page), eventually you will piss off someone. It is A Given Fact of Internet Life.
So in conclusion, sometimes my job sucks, OMG I AM SO BORED SOMEONE PLEASE PLAY WITH ME, and here are some baby otters learning how to swim (NOW THIS IS A JOB I WANT):
Also, because I get a lot of people being all OMG YOUR JOB IS SO GREAT I LOVE AND WANT YOUR JOB HOW DO I GET YOUR JOB - you do not want my job, and there is a reason you do not want my job, and it doesn't just have to do with getting paid almost nothing. I, in addition to writing about Merlin, write about Bones. This week on Bones, Booth spent a lot of time with his new girlfriend, who I don't like, mostly because the actress is really awful. She's completely wooden, she looks like she could be his daughter, and she talks like her mouth is full of oatmeal. And so, I wrote a review to that effect. Now, in all the time I've been reviewing Bones, I have never been critical of the plot mechanisms that keep Booth and Brennan apart - quite the opposite, in fact. And in the almost three years I've been doing my job, I have never criticized someone's acting before. And yet, ever since I posted my article, I hav had my inbox constantly pinging with badly-spelled comments along the lines of "OMG YOU BOOTH/BRENNAN SHIPPERS ARE SO VICIOUS HOW DARE YOU NOT LIKE HANNAH SHE IS SO PERFECT YOU ARE JUST A JEALOUS BITCH BECAUSE YOU WANT BOOTH FOR YOURSELF OMG HOW DARE YOU THE ACTRESS IS FRENCH CANADIAN (for the record, I mentioned that I knew that in an earlier comment, and that my issue was not the accent but the aforementioned oatmeal mouth) YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL AND DIIIIIIEEEEE."
So, yeah. Unless you are comfortable with this happening to you, you should not do what I do. Because no matter how bland and widely-accepted your opinions are (and really, I checked, 99% of Bones fans agree with me and are, in fact, way meaner than I am. I dare you to go to their facebook page), eventually you will piss off someone. It is A Given Fact of Internet Life.
So in conclusion, sometimes my job sucks, OMG I AM SO BORED SOMEONE PLEASE PLAY WITH ME, and here are some baby otters learning how to swim (NOW THIS IS A JOB I WANT):
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And if it was just a matter of looking pretty together, Gwen and Arthur would be fine, they're both gorgeous. It's... everything but their looks.
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Sorry about the Merlin stress though. And the Bones craziness. :(
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I WOULD LIKE ONE IN EVERY COLOR.
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And I could never, ever do your job because even though I know it would make the trolls crawl out from under their bridges I wouldn't be able to stop myself from snapping back at them.
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I AM ALWAYS DOWN FOR MORE SHENAIGANS THOUGH. MORRRRE maybe we could learn to make vids? Have like a learn-to-vid session? Because I got 2 more ideas while driving today arrrgghhh
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Something like that.
I have no problem attempting to organize such things offline as well, should anyone prefer that. IDK WHATEVER I WANT TO KEEP THE ENERGY. THEY CAN'T STOP THE SIGNAL.
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Not to my surprise, you are always incisive and witty for all your reviews. But what I DO RESPECT for most of your work is that your comment is always based on what the show itself SHOWS. Your review is genuine and always with fairness & integrity. That makes your review outstanding from the others.
Please keep on the great work. I DO envy them a lot.