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Orpheus melted the heart of Persephone, but I never had yours.
Sorry I've been scarce around the Livejournal-y parts this week, y'all. My good buddies crushing depression and relentless unflattering self-examination have reared their heads, and chances are if we have been talking outside of Livejournal it's been either all ME ME ME about various ridiculous things or about my gerbils. For which I apologize. I try not to be, but there are weeks where I am a crappy friend. In order to make up for it, however, I have compiled a list o' happy things which we should all gaze at and go OOH, AH, HAPPY and forget I was ever a douche.
Also, a while back![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!
1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.
2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.
ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.
3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.
4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.
5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.
ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.
BEEEEEEEP.
- Rupert Young (aka, Sir Leon) SINGING MOTHERFUCKING SONDHEIM LIKE A BOSS. Guys. GUYS. I love Sondheim. I don't think you know how much. And Sir Leon singing it! IT IS LIKE ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS MELTING INTO ONE GIANT POT OF AWESOME.
- THIS PUPPY EXISTS OH MY GOD:
- Can Tom Hardy stay in LA forever? Because between the Batman t-shirt and the adorable bro-date with Leo to a basketball game (guys, my FAVORITE THING is when co-stars remain BFF), I am just rolling around in all this loveliness like a pig in shit.
- Because everyone likes pretty, pretty dresses can we discuss this spring's Versace collection? J'ADORE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE DRESSES. If I do not see them on everyone at the Oscars this year, I will be extremely disappoint. Especially the first one. God I love the first one. GET ON IT, STYLISTS.
Also, remember my fake wardrobe this awards season post? I showed it to my BFF and she was all disparaging of the blue Jason Wu dress I posted like UGH IT'S TOO BORING AND MATRONLY, and then, blammo, check out what Reese is looking fierce in at an Avon event! Does she look boring and matronly? I THINK NOT. Though I still think she should have had some sort of jewelery to pizazz it up. Reese, please have your gays call me for ideas in the future. - Fun google searches people have used to find this journal, in alphabetical order:
and it makes arthur want to stab things
can cranky gerbils be made nice
fuzzy little creatures dancing around
gay guys want to fuck alex o'loughlin
joseph gordon levitt pretentious hipster (I AM SO UNACCOUNTABLY PROUD OF THIS ONE)
you girls who post bitchy things about other girls and the one who created that livejournal are the most awful things i ever saw in my life!
GOD BLESS BINA FOR BRINGING THE JOY OF GOOGLE ANALYTICS INTO MY LIFE. - HERE IS SOME GOOD, PRETENTIOUS MUSIC! First, courtesy of the estimable eldritchowl, I have been listening to Kate Nash's Kiss That Grrrl like, NON-STOP FOR 24 HOURS BECAUSE IT IS THE STORY OF MY LIFE, minus the part where the boy is in love with me first. It's more like, I think we have a good thing going, and then I find you are dating/interested in someone else who does not applaud their own farts, and then I feel like a douche. That is bad. But this song is great:
I also love love love the new She & Him song Don't Look Back, which I swear is not just because Joe posted it on Tumblr. I actually first heard it when Zooey posted it on her Tumblr. ...which actually does not really help me in the being less of a hipster category. The point is, I am fond of this song. Also, can I just say I'm SO EXCITED that Joe and Zooey are all tweeting and tumbling each other all the time? Their bff-ness is, like, the best part of my day every time it happens. THEY HAVE DANCE PARTIES TOGETHER. I cannot even. Ugh, I love those crazy kids. Also, I am appreciating Zooey's presence online because it has lead me to conclude that if she was a real life person who it was possible for me to hang out with, we would be kindred spirits. She too adores TV (SHE LIVETWEETS TOP CHEF), twee things, analyzing old song lyrics and writing parodies about them (I would treat you guys to my rant on the Pina Colada song but its really better when witnessed in person), adores Mindy Kaling... guys, it is honestly like reading the twitter of my other, only slightly more pretentious half. DEAR ZOOEY DESCHANEL, I LOVE YOU FOREVER.
Also, a while back
i_claudia asked me questions for that meme thingy, so, answers!1. What was your first pet?
Technically, it was a goldfish from the elementary school May Fair who I named Sunny, but she died in a week. My first long-term pet was another goldfish named Tiger, and he inexplicably lived, like, five years. Even though he made suicide leaps out of his bowl. Twice.
2. Can you list three situations in which a plaid suit would be appropriate?
AHAHAHAHAH. Um.
ONE: Your name is Harold Hill and you are seducing a plucky librarian named Marian. (Crossover with my other extremely short sartorial list entitled TIMES IN WHICH BOWTIES ARE ACCEPTABLE ALTERNATIVES TO REAL TIES.)
TWO: You are over fifty, single, a tenured professor with eight cats, and have lost all hope of ever having sexual intercourse.
THREE: There is some sort of hostage situation that requires you wear it. Said situation must, at the very least, involve a gun pointed at the head of a super-adorable puppy.
3. You can pick one fictional person and one real person (from any period of history etc etc) to spend an afternoon with. Where do you go and what do you do/what do you talk about?
SHOOT ME IN THE HEART WHY DON'T YOU. I definitely want to take a tour of Hogwarts with Albus Dumbledore, so that's the fictional part taken care of. Who I would take I think probably depends on who bribes me the best. I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL, MES AMIS.
4. You are running for President of the US of A. What is your campaign slogan?
SOMETIMES SOCIALISM IS AWESOME! I would lose in a landslide. But by God, it would be worth it.
5. If you were reincarnated as anyone/anything, what/who would you be reincarnated as?
A highly beloved dog who was intelligent enough to be trained to use the toilet so I didn't have to go outside, like, in the middle of a blizzard to shit. Best. Life. Ever.
ANYWAYS, how are all of y'all? Please leave your messages/life stories after the beep. If I am too busy writing my Bones article today, my gerbils will be happy to take your message, eeble at you, and then nibble at your knuckles.
BEEEEEEEP.
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♥s for the week.
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I KNOW RIGHT? My mom had a thing for Dachshunds when she was little and lost her shit when I showed this to her.
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And that dog, so cute. Reminds me of my Retriever who revels in taking baths.
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Man, my dog HATES baths. She is very clever at avoiding them and then when we do catch her she makes these noises that I can only describe as "old man grumping", like she wants to growl at us but knows she can't, so she just makes grumpy noises in the back of her throat like I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR NEFARIOUS THUMBS HAVE TRICKED ME AGAIN.
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Rupert Young has pipes. Merlin should do a musical episode...I mean, you also have Tony Head, who was in Buffy and half of them couldn't really sing.
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Alright, shall back later to play. Thanks, sweets!
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PUPPIES AND ALL THINGS MUSICAL ILUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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ILU TOOOOOO.
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BRB, LOLING FOREVER. I hope they found something they liked on your journal :)
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also i really enjoy your answers to the plaid suit question. so very true.
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Yes, someone needs to relay this information to certain people who made certain sartorial choices to go to certain movie permieres.
Ahem.
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Hahahahaha, Melly, and REEEEEEESE.
Mindy!
1. TIGER. OH MY GOD MAY FAIR GOLDFISH. Forgot about those...
2. ONE: HAHAHAHA FOREVER.
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NEVER FORGET THE GOLDFISH.
And don't laugh, Harold Hill is the only one who could get away with many sartorial choices.
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Oh my god that dog. I'd want one except I'm scared of dogs I don't know and walking my dog would be a terrifying experience. D:
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Nooooo, why are you afraid of puppies?!?!? THEY JUST WANT TO LOVE YOU FOREVER.
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OMG CHILDHOOD TRAUMA. Okay, so I was this wee person, right? I was spending the weekend at my grandparents' place and they took me shopping. In front of a store there was this adorable tiny puppy waiting for its owner. I crouched down and reached out to pet it when it snapped at my fingers. O_O My grandpa pulled me away and I remember feeling shocked to tears, and the betrayal basically stayed with me foreverrrr. Bad puppy. :(
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I'm hung over and tired. Guh.
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ahahah your google analytics is amazing.
2. you would totally have my vote if you ran for office. i am so socialist it hurts a little sometimes.
3. ...wot
zooey has a tumblr?
WHY DO I LIVE UNDER A ROCK :(
4. REAL LIFE BROMANCE
YES
IT IS THE BEST THING OF ALL THE THINGS
the hills are alive with guy love.
5. do these plaid suit scenarios include or exclude all things tweed? because plaid tweed can be a beautiful thing.
6. i overidentify with kiss that grrrl a wee bit too much.
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I've noticed we have a few common interests, so I added you to my friends list. No pressure to friend back as I rarely update.
Hope that's ok.
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ahahahah LOVE THE PLAID SUIT SCENARIOS. XDDD
also: *smish*
Все прикольно сделано!